Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
Darth Link 22
6
63
210
6
63
210
Joined April 2012
942 followers
Groups
-
1w, 5dSad
-
14w, 4dArt for Fanfiction
-
1w, 5dPinkie Pies Only!
-
1w, 5dScootaloo
-
1w, 5dSpike Fanfictions
- Show All Groups
-
43w, 2dTwilight's Library
-
32w, 3dfimfiction's favorites
-
24w, 11hTwilight and Spike
-
38w, 3dScootalove is Best Love
-
30w, 1dFeature Box Crusaders
-
25w, 2dMLP: Motherhood is Magical
-
12w, 1dChildren of Equestria
-
7w, 2dThe ACW Call-Out
-
1w, 4dScootafamily!
-
4d, 2hMeri's Favorite Stories
2,417
12,395
”Please, I didn’t do it!” Twilight sobbed as she was led onto the platform.
Celestia stood in front of her, glaring at her former student with a hatred she previously reserved only for Discord. “Twilight Sparkle, you have been found guilty of a most unforgivable crime. Congratulations are in order, I suppose. I never thought I’d be reestablishing this penalty.”
“Your highness, please...” she began, only to be roughly pushed down onto the wooden block.
She looked out into the crowd for support. She found none. Applejack and Rainbow Dash threw apples at her. Rarity glared at her with an intense hatred. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie just looked away sadly.
She turned back to the Princess to try and plead her case again, only to find her brother standing there.
“I’m ashamed we’re blood,” he said coldly. Then his horn glowed, and a large silver axe raised above him...
Twilight bolted upright with an audible gasp. She took a few deep breaths, sweat running down her face and neck. She looked down at the book of Equestrian law she had been reading when she had dozed off.
She sighed. Of course, the nightmares had started up again. Why wouldn’t they? After Discord’s defeat she had suffered nightmares for weeks afterward, all of her friends turning their backs on her. Now that it had happened again, without the cruel draconequus’ help no less, of course they’d return.
She looked at the clock. Only fifteen minutes had passed since she had begun her research. The weekend’s events must have tired her even more than she thought. She lifted herself up, levitating her tea cup with her. It looked like no sleep for her tonight.
As she reheated her tea, she took another look at the door Spike had barricaded himself behind. Wishing the little dragon would come out, her mind began drifting to the past.
”Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
Celestia could only chuckle at the overexcited little filly jumping around in circles around her. With a light glow of her horn, she stopped the unicorn in her tracks.
“Easy there,” she said gently, setting Twilight on the floor. “I’m glad you’re excited, but don’t get ahead of yourself. I’d like to arrange for you to move into the castle first thing tomorrow morning, after you have the evening to celebrate with your family. I’ll have the servants prepare you a room.”
“I-in the castle?” Twilight asked, her eyes going wide for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “I’m not staying in the dormitory?”
Celestia shook her head. “You’ll be receiving private lessons from me. I want to keep you close so I can monitor your progress more effectively. You will still attend regular classes with the other foals, but...”
She trailed off, tilting her head at an interested angle. Twilight arched her eyebrow, but then gave a yell of surprise.
The dragon had just crawled across the floor to her side and grabbed at her side. Showing great strength for a newborn, he lifted himself onto the startled unicorn’s back. After which he curled himself into a ball and fell asleep.
“Huh, what?” Twilight said, a little alarmed and trying to stay upright. She was more than strong enough to carry the baby, though it was still a noticeable load.
“It seems he’s taken quite a liking to you, Twilight,” Celestia chuckled.
“Indeed,” one of the exam proctors noted, trotting over to them. “This is most fascinating. This might confirm some of our theories about dragons.”
“W-what do you mean?” the nervous filly asked.
“Well, my dear, if what we believe about dragons is true, the newborns often find safety with their mothers. Since your magic hatched his egg, you have imprinted yourself onto him as his mother.”
“And that might be a problem,” another proctor noted. “That dragon’s not going to want to be separated from her.”
“Actually, that would make things simpler,” the Princess noted, turning back to her charge. “Twilight, I’m placing you in charge of this child. It will be your responsibility to take care of him.”
“Wha? But… your highness, I don’t know how to take care of a baby.”
“You needn’t worry, my little pony. You’ll have servants helping you. The purpose of this is to teach you responsibility. A pony with your abilities must learn to use them for others. This will be a good start.”
Twilight was silent. She turned to the creature curled onto her back, and couldn’t help but smile. He looked so peaceful, so innocent.
“I think I’ll call him Spike.”
Twilight couldn’t help but chuckle at that memory as she poured her tea. Indeed, that dragon had hated being separated from her. If he woke up while she was in class, he would deafen at least three servants with his crying before she returned. When he was old enough to reason, he declared himself her assistant to spend time with her. To her relief, by that point he also understood that Twilight had to leave him alone sometimes.
Going back over to her books, she tried to push Spike out of her mind. She couldn’t do anything about him tonight, though she badly wanted to. She had to think logically here. She couldn’t help her dragon, but she could help Rainbow Dash.
“I don’t know ‘bout this, Rare,” Applejack sighed.
“Well, we haven’t come up with anything better. And besides, you love the spa.”
“I love gettin’ my back massaged, really gets the tension out, but I gotta agree with Dash on just ‘bout everythin’ else. Ain’t no point in me gettin’ a hoofacure if I’m just gonna chip it in the fields the next day.”
“I know. That’s why I don’t try to talk you into coming to the spa more often. But I think we can agree that helping a friend is worth a break in routine,” Rarity said, a bit bluntly.
“Yeah, you’re right. Still, you think Aloe and Lotus‘ll have any good ideas?”
“Darling, please, those twins’ special talent is helping ponies relax. We’ve been sitting here for nearly an hour and haven’t come up with anything, I’d say consulting those two is our best bet.”
“So, tomorrow after breakfast we talk to Twilight about all this, right? I don’t wanna be goin’ behind somepony’s back like we did with the Mare Do Well.”
“Relax, we’re going to be very upfront here. For now, you better go back home and get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow.
”And so, with the great evil slain, the brave knight won the heart of the beautiful princess. The two shared a sweet kiss as the sun set on the horizon.”
Spike gave an “Ick,” which the unicorn couldn’t help but laugh at. “Whya gotta keep all the mushy stuff in?”
“Just wait. One day you’ll fall in love, and all you’ll want to do is this ‘mushy stuff’.”
“No way,” the infant dragon shook his head. “But I’mma gonna be a knight!”
“Oh are you now?” Twilight said playfully, rubbing a hoof on his head. “Then who’s going to be my assistant then?”
“I will! I can do both!”
“Oh really? You’re just the greatest dragon ever then, aren’t ya?”
“Yep… I think.”
Twilight blinked. “What do you mean?”
“There’re no other dragons in Canterlot. Why?”
Twilight froze. “Well… dragons are very special creatures. We’re very lucky to have you here, Spike. You’re like a little miracle!”
“Cool!”
“Yes, it is,” Twilight said, trying to sound playful. She closed the book. “And now, I think it’s time for the little miracle to get in bed.” She used her magic to pull up his blankets. “Are you comfy?”
“Yes,” Spike said resigned. He had long since given up on contesting his bedtime.
“Good,” she said, leaning down and kissing him on the forehead. “Good night, Spike.”
The unicorn turned and began walking toward the door when Spike spoke up. “Twilight?”
She stopped. “Yes?”
“Why’re there pages torn from the book?”
“...They just got torn out. That happens with books sometimes. You don’t worry about it, okay?”
“Okay. G’night, Twilight.” The dragon murmured, curling up and falling asleep without any further questions.
Spike sighed at the memory. Twilight had read him the very book he now clutched in his claws. He was looking at the remains of what once were pages, little stumps of paper still left.
Of course they had been torn out. He had found another copy of the book and knew why. It had been a tale of a great and mighty knight slaying a horde of evil dragons. It was something Twilight had denied him, to hide how different he was from ponies.
He later realized that had been a day Twilight had been dreading. The day he realized he was a novelty in Canterlot, in all of Equestrian society really. A dragon who acted like a pony? How ridiculous.
His caretaker had, for better or worse, kept the truth from him for as long as she was able. Being raised in the palace by Twilight, Celestia, and servants paid enough to grit their teeth and feign politeness did a lot to help this. Still, inevitably he learned the truth. While life became much more difficult after that, he never once was angry at those that kept the truth for him.
He sighed, closing the book. Time spent with Twilight had felt the same as ever, even after the unpleasant revelation. She was a sanctuary; she was the only pony who was consistently there for him. Celestia had been kind, of course, and Cadence, ever the babysitter, spent some time with him, but they constantly had their duties to see to. Shining Armor was friendly as well, though by the time he was able to reason he was mostly busy with basic training.
No, it had been Twilight there for him every night. Sometimes difficult to get along with, he had to admit, but he loved her dearly.
Then why couldn’t I have been there for her? he asked himself silently.
Pinkie sat between her foster parents with a somber face. Mrs. Cake nuzzled her side. “I understand that was hard to tell us, Pinkie,” she said softly. “I… I always wondered why you never talked about your family.”
“Well… Princess Luna told me I shouldn’t be keeping something like this from you…”
“And you shouldn’t,” Mr. Cake assured. He paused, wondering what to say next. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah,” she said simply, looking at the floor. “I still have to tell my friends.”
“If you think that’s for the best,” Mr. Cake agreed.
“Pinkie, if you don’t mind me asking, what brought this up now?” Mrs. Cake asked.
Sighing, she began to tell them what had happened that weekend.
Scootaloo sat at her workbench, tinkering with her scooter. It scarcely needed any work done, but she found fiddling with her tools to be rather relaxing.
As she spun the front wheel, the door to her room opened. “Scoots?”
The tiny filly froze. It was the voice of her father, and he did not sound happy.
Speedy Delivery was a fairly big pegasus, not as bulky as the Big Macintosh, but he did have some noticeable build on him. Looking at him, it was easy to see where Scootaloo had gotten her fur color from, as his coat matched hers, though his mane was jet black. His cutie mark, an envelope with wings, stood prominent on his flank.
“Yes, dad?” she asked, somewhat nervously.
“I heard Rainbow Dash brought you home,” he said, simply and sternly.
Scootaloo thought about lying, but knew better. “Um, yeah, see...”
“I thought I made it clear you weren’t supposed to bring her around here,” he said angrily, but he never raised his voice.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “She offered me a ride home. I couldn’t think of any way to say no.”
Hearing this, Speedy Delivery’s expression softened. “I see.” He thought for a moment, then went over and hugged his daughter. “You know I don’t like you hanging around that mare.”
“I know, but she’s so cool! I want to learn to fly like her one day, I know I can do it…”
“Have you been trying to fly again?” he asked in an accusatory tone.
The young filly quickly shook her head. “No, I remember what you said.”
“That’s good. Flying’s dangerous, especially for a clumsy little filly like you,” he said playfully, poking her on the nose. “You’re not ready for it.”
“But most pegasi are flying by my age!” Scootaloo pleaded.
“Well, most pegasi are better at it than you,” Speedy Delivery said in a casual tone. “You’re just going to have to grow up a little. I’ll teach you, I promise.”
“You always say that,” she sighed.
Her father shook his head. “That’s because my project is taking longer than expected. Come on, kiddo, you know how important it is. I just don’t have the time for you right now.”
“I know,” she said sadly. “I understand.”
“You should. You know what it will mean for us if I succeed, right? No more mail deliveries for me, and a new life for us. You know that, right?”
“Yes,” she nodded, almost robotically.
“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Now, what do you say?”
Scootaloo smiled, nuzzling into her father’s chest. “I love you, daddy.”
“I know you do, kid.”
Comments ( 131 )
Post Comment
Refresh
Second chapter. Honest question: what do you think of Scootaloo's father? I need to know if I wrote him right.
Third chapter's where things start to pick up, and we won't be visiting ever subplot in every chapter, don't worry. Just keep reading.
And do you think I should add hr in between the italicized parts?
Wow, I can't tell if he's abusive, neglectful, or just overly focused on his job. Scootaloo's reaction, and their dialogue seemed suggest all three, at least to me. Well I got the "don't totally trust this person/pony" vibe from him so if that's what you were going for...Though if he turned out to be a red herring I'd believe it.
Also that was cruel of you to withhold pinkies back story! I wanna know! Ah well I guess we'll find out eventually.
>>1000328 He's not bad but he's kind of boardering on child neglect and child abuse by saying Scootaloo is clumsy and refusing to teach her how to fly. 
And I want to know are you going to reveal what Pinkie Pie's secret is or by mentioning the Cakes as her adopted family did you already give it away? 
! 
I see Scootaloo's dad here as distractible, busy, and single. He doesn't mean to hurt her feelings with his comments on her inability to fly, he just doesn't quite think things through before saying them or maybe doesn't realize that it could hurt her to hear that. His dislike of Rainbow Dash may stem from her being a potentially dangerous influence on his daughter, since he doesn't have the time and/or energy to keep close track of her if she's going to be some kind of daredevil. Am I getting this like you intended?
New chapter!
Image: http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133976688453.jpgAnd about Scoot's father, he's fine. Kind of a dick, but he's alright. 
Keep up the good work!
Spike's insistence in his self-loathing is starting to get grinding, I hope to see him pull out of it soon.
Wasn't expecting that situation with scoots/speedy delivery/dash at all, I'm very interested to see where this is going. The dad seems neglectful, but I get the impression he really doesn't want to be, but he has to be if he wants whatever plan he has to succeed. I predict a rather tear-filled scene where he and scoots make up, her dad revealing that he's been hurting the entire time about his actions and wants to make it up to her in any way he can etc etc. I think he may want scoots to stay away from dash because he wants to enjoy the experience of teaching his daughter to fly for himself, and to make her happy himself, to make up for his neglect. But of course I could be very wrong
As ever, thank you for writing these wonderful fics!
I don't think I like him very much: doesn't like Dash, prepares something "important" and doesn't want to learn Scootaloo to fly on the pretense she's clumsy... Seems like not a very good father.
Hoping to see more insight of Twilight as she is one that suffers the most.
Is he supposed to seem like a dick but have a weird soft spot for scootaloo? That's the vibes I got, mostly because of "“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Now, what do you say?”
Scootaloo smiled, nuzzling into her father’s chest. “I love you, daddy.”
“I know you do, kid.”"
Anyways, this fic is looking great, can't wait for more.
Seems like one of those parents that's both overprotective and far too busy to really notice what was wrong, all in all, a well-meaning father, and it seems like his disapproval for Rainbow Dash would likely stem from a fear that her obsession with speed and stunts might rub off on Scootaloo, who he is already concerned about trying to push herself too hard and doing something dangerous.
I don't like Scootaloo's father, but I do like how you've written him. You've made him a fairly unlikable character very effectively with those few lines. He's obsessed with his work and might care about Scootaloo somewhat, but he clearly doesn't show his love to her as much as she deserves. Well done.
What I get is that Scootaloo's father is not ready to be a father at all but is too moral or too responsible to just leave her alone. From this I imagine that Scoots was an accident and her mother is either in no condition to raise her or just like her father.
Of course he could be abusive otherwise, but I was expecting much worse from Scoots' actions prior to this chapter, so unless something unexpected shows up, I'll stick to my theory.
Hmm... I'm wondering if her mother is still alive or not, because if she's dead then he's just overprotective but too focused on his invention or whatever it it that he's working on then it makes up for him being distant. On the other hand if he just thinks that she's to clumsy to fly then he's a dick. Nice chapter overall keep up the good work
>>1000328 I get four things from this first impression of Scoot's father:
1. He thinks Rainbow Dash will be a bad influence on Scoot (wouldn't surprise me if he think Rainbow is a fillyfooler)
2. He's not very encouraging and sees Scoot as weak and small,
3. He's so busy with his job and his special project that he doesn't realize he is somewhat neglecting his duaghter,
4. He's the old stereotypical dad in that he rarely tells his daughter that he loves her.
BTW, what do you mean by 'add hr in between the italicized parts'?
>>1000328 If your mission was for him to give off a bad vibe then you succeeded. I was fearing for Scoots when it said her father wasn't happy. He seems to have the same dislike for Rainbow Dash that most versions of Scootaloo's parents have (although not to the highest degree that I've seen, if anyone reading this comment has read Family Mares you know what I'm talking about.) I can't wait to see his character development.
Scootaloo's father appears to a rather complex character. I like that. He clearly does love his daughter and is protective of her, but with that said, he is obviously doubtful and underestimating of her abilities and this overprotection is at the expense of her self-confidence. He's not a bad stallion and as a father, he does want the best for her, but the latter of course is determined by what he himself sees as right, which may not be shared by other parents. He also does come across as insensitive to her child's feelings, a problem which unfortunately, is the case of quite a lot of fathers in the world. I doubt he is abusive, though. Him refering to her as clumsy was described as 'playful', after all.
First off. What the hell was Twilight's nightmare about!?!? That came flat out of nowhere 
Second. I think Pinkie's parents abused her and that's why she ran away 
Thirdly. I loved newborn spike. so much DAWWW 
Lastly. I think Scootaloo's father seems like a jerk but in reality he's just overprotective. maybe something happened to Scoots mom and it caused her father to become overprotective (hence the not wanting her to fly)
Yaay update! I REALLY dig this story!!
Aww, baby Spike is adorable!
I'm glad you had that exchange with AJ and Rarity about not going behind Twi's back and mentioning the MDW stuff. That was and remains the only episode of the show that I flat out hated, from beginning to end (and will go off on a rant about it at the drop of a hat).
Poor Pinkie, I wonder what happened to her family...you've really got a lot of angles working all at once, instead of having each chapter focusing on each character. Best luck!
As for Scoot's dad....he's a real clASS act. Nice.
Another great chapter! I really really really really (add in a few more reallys in your mind) want to know what's up with Pinkie. I mean...Gah!
Scootaloo's dad seems alright to me, as a character. It sorta seems like he wants to do right by her, but he thinks the only way to do that is the project, so he's ignoring her for the most part. It's intersting to see he doesn't like Dash...for some reason, I felt like it was because he thinks she a little to reckless and maybe a fillyfooler.
I hope something changes with Spike, though, because I just feel so sorry for him. I really can't wait for the next chapter, I hope it's out soon!
Thoughts on the father -
"I heard..." implies that the mother is around somewhere, to be telling him this, I'd imagine. Or perhaps not. At the very least, its a plus that he doesn't seem to be physically abusive...emotionally, yes, but which is terrible, but its less...dull. I've an inherient dislike of him, as I suspect was the intention, but at the same time I don't find myself instantly concluding that the best solution is to just feed him to the largest easily accessible carnivore. Accidentally, of course.
Side thought - "I thought I made it clear you weren’t supposed to bring her around here,”...her being arguably the fastest pegasus in the world, as well as part of the group that's saved said world twice. I don't know, but those situations always make me envision someone telling their kids that no, they can't be friends with Superman. Or...I guess the Flash would be the more apt comparison, but still. Seems that once you have that kind of cred, you should be able to get away with just about anything that isn't illegal.
Beyond that...I'm not entirely sure how Rarity and AJ going to the spa is supposed to help them help Twilight, but I'll roll with it. Also, I join the chorus of those bemoaning the lack of elaboration on Pinkie's painful past. And Twilight is having nightmares...okay, not exactly unexpected. Of Celestia condemning her to death, and her brother acting as the headsman...w...wasn't she supposed to be checking up on family law? The hell kind of family law prompts THAT?
Final though - I wonder if the knight in Spike's book had to fight the two-hooved stallion as well as the evil dragons.
Hmmm... The way I see it, Speedy Delivery is a stallion of empty promises and is self-delusional in thinking he knows what's best for Scootaloo. He doesn't fear that Scootaloo will be hurt under the care of Rainbow Dash, but he does fear that Rainbow would overtake him in his duties as a parent, i.e. teaching Scootaloo how to fly.
Not only this, but I would say Speedy Delivery has an inferiority complex, perhaps pertaining to a previous or current experience not yet mentioned. As such, he may be keeping Scootaloo grounded and putting her down for his own benefit. It would be worth seeing the current situation in which Scootaloo's mother is placed. Perhaps that would further show the reasoning behind Speedy Delivery's behaviours.
.
I don't know what I think of him. I couldn't tell you the last time Scoot's family was a major part of the plot, and she wasn't an orphan. You also haven't made him a one dimensional drunk or abuser, so I can't predict what will happen next. In fact, he was already throwing me off in his brief appearance here. I thought at first he didn't want RD around his daughter because HE thought SHE was a bad influence. But no, it turns out he's hiding something! This is subtle, well done writing, why are you asking a question like you screwed up?
We're still seeing that, yes, but now it seems like we might get elements of pony racism, and perhaps Spike's fears that one day he'll try eating everyone he knows.
Wow great story so far wow a lot of speedy hate though 
he just seems like a father who is so occupied with his project that he doesn't notice what he says or the changes of ponies around him. He also seems to not do the emotional thing too well. I see myself in him , well my past self sadly it took a really big breakup to make me realize I was acting that way. Hopefully he realizes what he's doing before he loses her.
>>1000328 Hm. We have seen very little of Speedy so far - in fact, I'm impressed how quickly some commenters here formed a fully fledged opinion on him; I believe we don't have enough info for that yet. He might fall anywhere on the spectrum; my personal impression is a combination of Tim Taylor (from Home Improvement) and Marlin (from Finding Nemo). Until I'm proven wrong, I'll assume any kind of abuse on his part (and I agree that it's there, if "only" psychological in nature) is unintentional. Remember how Marlin thought the open ocean was too dangerous for Nemo? Kind of dickish, yes, but the film actually proved him right.
I like the bit with Spike a lot. Poor guy.
>>1000328 To answer your question, he strikes me as neglectful, overly focused on his job, and judging by Scootaloo's reactions, potentially abusive. Not outright evil, but still somepony I want to punch in the snout.
Very good chapter!
Honest opinion? *warms up speech processor*
In this case, you are trying to create your own idea of what Scootaloo's father should be like (yes I like stating the obvious). Seeing as neither of her parents have made an appearance, you really have free reign, at least until an actual episode changes things.
So far, you have done fine. A father who does not have time for his daughter, and who is also a tad bit controlling and overprotective.
Personally, it really irks me when fanfics create characters that are just canon conflicts waiting to happen. Rainbow Dash's parents, Scootaloo's parents, etc. Not going to stop me from enjoying this story, though.
Judging soley on Scoot's behavior in this and Post Nuptuals, he is possibly abusive and most certainly neglectful. I half expect Pony!Stabler and the rest of the Special Ponies Unit to burst in and arrest this guy. And then Pony!Munch would say something snarky. What I'm trying to say here, is that Scootaloo is what, 6-10 in pony years? And no one has noticed something wrong untill Dash a week ago? I'd change his personality just a bit, for believability.
>>1000487 that sounds like a fair explaination, but the one thing I want to know is what that thing is that her father is trying build and if her father does eventually try to teach her how to fly would he take it seriously since he already believes that she wouldnt be able to do it to well.
Hm, thoughts on Scoot's dad. Well, I think he is not as evil as most are thinking, more than likely he believes that he is doing the right thing. He believes this 'project' of his will give them a better life, unfortunately, it takes him away from the more important things in life, like Scootaloo herself. He also doesn't know if Scoot would want this 'better life' if it takes her away from her friends. As for his dislike of Dash, I believe it has more to do with the usual father fear than anything else, after all, what parent wouldn't be afraid if their child started acting like the most reckless mare in Ponyville?
Hopefully the whole legal plan gets scrapped as this could not only be the wrong choice, but one that will cause a rift between RD and Scootaloo, least that is where I see it going anyway.
>>1000328 You give yourself too little credit. This is probably the most unique take on Scootabuse I've ever seen. Like just about everyone else here has pointed out, you've already given her father some depth and complexity. He's not just a foil to make RD look like a hero. We're not even quite sure where he falls on the Sliding Scale of Evil. I'd have to say he's one of the most true-to-real-life "bad guys" I've ever seen in a fanfic, one that I think many of us could compare to people we've met.
It seems you're on the right track with this. Carry on, I say! 
He is going out of his way to show his daughter that her happiness, her training, her friendships, everything about her is of little importance to him. It's a kind of muted villainy you don't see too often in stories (but probably all too often in real life).
I like where this is going.
I'm just glad he's not abusive (physically at least) he seems to want what's best for his family, even if he's not necessarily going at it the right way. I'll have to see more of him before I can make a better judgment.
I know this is about expanding Scootaloo's, Spike's, and Pinkie's backstories but I noticed you again made reference to Discord, namely this lingering effect he's had on Twilight (it was a fairly major plot point for Twilight's arc in 'Post Nuptials' after all) so I have to ask if you might be teasing at something you may tackle in the future in another fic set in this universe. I've always found the idea of Twilight being corrupted (in a similar manner as what befell Luna) interesting, just a thought of course.
Now we have to see if Twilight can break Spike out of this rut he's in, just what is going on with Pinkie, whether Rainbow Dash can convince Scootaloo's dad to let her learn to fly, and whether Applejack and Rairty's plan will thrown a monkey wrench into any of these plotlines.
>>1000328 I guess the father is portrayed as overprotective yet forgetful of her daughter's feelings. I'm expecting later in the story that Scootaloo will stand up for herself before running away. I see that the mother is missing as well, so I'm presuming that the father is suffering from anxiety because Scootaloo may act a lot like her mother. Also, you should do "HR" after the italicized portions.
For those who are wondering, HR is a spacing tool that separates passages by using a horizontal line. The line above is the HR. It's abbreviated HR for "Horizontal Rule". If you want to know more about the "Horizontal Rule", use your search engine to find it.
Okay after re-reading Chapter One then this my derp passed over. Nice chapter.
Scoot's father: He seems casually cruel, as someone else said. He wants his daughter to do what only he wants, not what Scootaloo wants. And maybe abusive, why else would Scootaloo get so nervous when her "big" father walked in?
>>1001743 I believe all of the comments ignored my 'waiting for another chapter' part, as judging a character based on one moment really isn't something I prefer doing.
I stand by my fact of not calling him Pure Evil, but that doesn't mean I found him particularly enjoyable, but I also believe I can not judge him as being a terrible pony when he, at least, seemed to not be this 'a far more insidious variety of evil, the sort whose child will be doubting her own worth' or 'the way he's treating Scootaloo like an object most of the time' type of pony the replies to my comment have said. Yes, he said 'clumsy' and 'what did I tell you about flying?' but both of those are only negative if seen negative, and can be neutral as well.
We've had one scene with him, and, unless I've missed something crucial, I see nothing supporting those claims, save work, but, for all we know, this could be something that always eludes his grasp, and he is simply unable to avoid it.
And perhaps he simply thinks less of Dash for reasons not disclosed here, and he did not press her on this after hearing a logical reason for it.
One thing I'd like to quote is Songerie: "Scootaloo's dad seems like the type who thinks he's doing the right thing, but neglects or abuses his child without knowing it." Something like this, I can see.
This are, however, my opinions, and I'm going to assume people didn't agree with my short reply based on the responses.
Wow, 95% of the comments are about scootaloo's subplot exclusively. In my opinion, he is not that evil, maybe not quite understanding of what it means to be a father, but I feel he still loves his daughter and cares for her.
FOR THE OTHER SUBPLOTS: I enjoyed the secrecy of pinkies story. It gives us a hint (something about her family), And gives us the Cake's reaction. I actually like it this way, waiting to reveal the story to the audience at the same time as the others of the mane 6 (at least I think that's what he was gonna do) so we can compare our reaction to theirs.
Twi's nightmare seems to be something about her fear of failing in the invasion (maybe she was being
executed for falsely accusing Cadance, as it States in post nuptials that she feared this).
And the flashbacks? All I can say is WIN. 
They really diverge into Spikes story, giving background instead of a full confrontation, allowing both Spike and Twilight to gather their thoughts before their next take of actions.
Overall, your way of writing is perfect, I'm actually happy for such a beautifull cliffhanger!
I think it might have been more that her friends being the younger sisters of two of the Bearers might have been a little more the reason why she was brought along than the fact that she idolized Dash.
Oh so glad we don't have another Jade Crestfall with this version of Scootaloo's dad.... Speedy hasn't really had enough "screen time" to get a real good idea on how his whole personality will fall but he seems to kinda be part Absent-Minded Professor with keeping busy with his work and this project of his. He also falls into the typical busy dad who would rather deal with his own stuff than worry about a kid. I would not be surprised at all if this turns into a single dad scenario that started with the typical "Wonderful...got my girlfriend pregnant and I'm so not ready for this." and somehow led into Scoots getting dropped off with him while mom skipped out for whatever reason.
There is so much we don't know about Scootaloo's parents and home situation in this story.
I really enjoyed this chapter, especially the Twilight/Spike stuff. I've always seen Spike's job as being a squire to Twilight's Knight... He keeps the armor polished by dusting and reshelving the library, ready to help her suit up and ride off to face down evil at a moment's notice. As a result, I really liked the bit about the edited book and his childhood desires to be a knight himself, and you've done a great job of portraying a touching dynamic of them as family.
As for Pinkie, I'm going to guess and say that her Cutie Mark story was a lie (at least how it ended), and the events in Canterlot are affecting her because she has abandonment issues from being cast out as a foal. This could be the real drive behind the desperate need to have everyone like her, and seeing and allowing Twilight to be cast out opened up her own insecurities. That's not really based on anything more than wild speculation though... I'd have to go back and read her actual comments from the previous story to see if that really fit.
As for Scootaloo's dad, his name and his reaction to Dash leads me to believe he has some real inferiority issues, and that likely Rainbow showed him up pretty badly at some point by proving who is really Speedy. He then transferred his frustrations born from these experiences and insecurities into passive-aggressive behavior towards his daughter/family, whom he could still dominate. His big project is an ego-saving attempt, and thus will always be more important than his little girl. Should it fail, I'd worry about the chance of him becoming truly abusive. Again, speculation... Although this is at least an attempt to do so based on the information from this chapter.
Regardless of how I did in my guessing, I'm really enjoying the story and look forward to more!
Scootaloo's dad is just... well, selfish. He thinks that he cares for her, but he doesn't spend enough time with her to truly understand. He keeps putting his own priorities over his fatherly ones... 
I love this story... there's no "mwahahaha" evil villain. Everyone's character is believable 
It's too early to tell what Scoot's pop is really like, seeing as not much was revealed, particularly what his plan is. You've basically made him someone that could go either ways: good, bad, in-between.
Do what works with the story, but keep in mind of typecasting and its dangers. Child abuse, if you are taking this route, must be handled tastefully, whether you hold it back or not. Your story is by nature on the melodramatic side, so care should be taken, but your already know that, don't you?
The horizontal rule works fine. Keep it.
A personal recommendation is that you add some, maybe just a smidgen of comedy or lightheartedness in some parts, because right now the emotional atmosphere this chapter gives off is quite bleak all the way through. So variety in atmosphere will give flavor to each respective scene.
Oh, and congrats on using this angle, a very smart one at that.
Pinkie's past life. Those 3 words. So many reactions...
Image: http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/c9X6n.gif
Image: http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/scared.gif
Image: http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/tracey-jordan-nope.gif==========
COOL STORY! 11/10 MOUSTACHE
==========
BRACE YOURSELVES
Image: http://www.recaption.com/uploads/20494f513dbfebca6.jpgDAWWWS ARE COMING.
==========
Good Guy Yatoshumirata
SAYS
Image: http://ampersandartful.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/coolstorybro.gif?w=460MEANS IT.
>>1000436, >>1000448, >>1000455, >>1000459, >>1000466, >>1000470, >>1000471, >>1000484, >>1000485, >>1000487, >>1000489, >>1000494, >>1000495, >>1000500, >>1000501, >>1000528, >>1000535, >>1000536, >>1000541, >>1000549, >>1000550, >>1000553, >>1000562, >>1000588, >>1000596, >>1000597, >>1000609, >>1000610, >>1000635, >>1000643, >>1000652, >>1000657, >>1000664, >>1000666, >>1000680, >>1000684, >>1000696, >>1000702, >>1000734, >>1000745, >>1000755, >>1000776, >>1000801, >>1000819, >>1000836, >>1000869, >>1000921, >>1000924, >>1000957, >>1000991, >>1001031, >>1001075, >>1001122, >>1001168, >>1001291, >>1001461, >>1001500, >>1001557, >>1001571, >>1001603, >>1001667, >>1001743, >>1001784, >>1001804, >>1001835, >>1001838, >>1002202, >>1002284, >>1002303, >>1002320, >>1002349, >>1002448, >>1002564, >>1002787, >>1002929, >>1003077, >>1003432, >>1003480, >>1003539, >>1003643, >>1004070, >>1004075
Okay! Quite the response!
You all seemed to pick up on the main thing: Speedy Delivery isn't exactly father of the year material. That was my big hope. You also seem divided on whether or not he's intentionally abusive or just not realizing what he's doing to his daughter. I also intended this. You'll just have to read on and see.
For clarification: Scootaloo's mother is alive, we'll see her next chapter. Speedy's reasons for hating Rainbow Dash, however, will remain a mystery for awhile.
If I should add horizontal rule after the flashbacks. I worried they be too cluttered.
Twilight's having nightmares from her friends turning their back to her at the wedding. She had them after Discord, and they've returned with a vegence thanks to recent events.
They're going to ask Aloe and Lotus for a way Twilight can calm herself down the next time she works herself up. Since they help ponies relax, they figured they'd have some ideas.
I'm well aware abuse needs to be handled with taste. I was a CJ major in college, so I know about some of the more unfortunate aspects of these things. I'd handle it with care if I use it.
And don't worry, I have some comedic moments planned.
I'd say I have mixed feelings on Scootaloo's dad. He seems to care for her, definitely, but it's more of an impersonal "this is MINE" mentality towards her than a "I love you so very much I'll die for you" mentality a good father should have.
Her certainly seems rough around the edges. His concern for hanging around Rainbow Dash, I think, is justified. Strange person whom you don't know but your underage daughter adores and wants to hang around all the time with? I know my father senses would be prickly towards that sort of person.
Just the last exchange, though, seems like they've been through this rote before. It feels very graying and unsatisfying, like something's missing from their relationship that should be there. I'm not quite sure if he's a jackass, a jackass with a heart of gold, or just plain working his rear end off trying to make ends meet so that his family can have a roof over their heads and food on the table. That sort of killing-yourself work can really drain someone emotionally as well as physically. If he's pulling constant double-shifts and whatnot, getting like 80-100 hours a week (as some people do to make ends meet) then yeah, he's going to be pretty distant and dead. On the other hand, if he's doing that sort of thing, then it's because he really loves his family and is willing to pretty much destroy his own life so they can live better than he'd normally be able to provide. Of course, if he's doing that, then he's not being that good a father either, as kids need their parents around, and the emotional and physical strain always shifts from the over-working parent to the rest of the family no matter how hard they try not to let it happen.
In the end, I want to see more of Scoot's family and their relationships. Something seems dysfunctional there, but right now I can't tell if it's minor and can be fixed, or if Big Macintosh is gonna have ta 'splain it to 'im.
Sorry if my English is something osco but I am using the google translator to write.
Greetings from Peru, this post is somewhat late seen a few weeks ago me and cross your fic Post Nuptials, which was very good and something true about the situation that happened at the wedding. With joy I discovered there was a sequel, which perishes Families hotter the subject of lurid past, and realities that already if some do not accept fanes.
Finished the congratulations, I will start with the strengths of these two chapters.
Well big surprise, curiosity and other past which in itself may be true, and a present, just as intricate.
First, we have the case of twilight, which is in conflict with itself, and which are made worse by not knowing what happens to Spike, on the other hand Rarity and AJ. Help but think sometimes the cure is often worse than the disease.
Second, the case of Spike who feels he has disappointed twi, not being at his side, when they needed it most, and if combined with the feelings he has for her, maybe take him do something stupid (perhaps again to escape). At this point I'm glad you used the theory of "my first image" which explains how some animals and reptiles recognize the first living being eta front of "the" as his mother is interesting geek I had a discussion about that a few months ago, and why we will never see a special Mother's Day in MLP: FiM.
The third, something interesting scootaloo, we have never seen their parents, they know nothing of the theory from ground pony up an orphan, are everyday words into the mouth of the fanes, alone and read a couple of times (very fic few) on their parents, but this case is interesting, scoot the father seems to be a scientist with a type of trauma on the fly, perhaps not, an incident, and although it looks sloppy, it seems to love his daughter and she loves him, but the suspicion he feels towards RD. It can also be psychological, and I have an answer, but I do not mean anything, I'll see if my assumptions are true depending on how your story progresses.
And finally Pinkie Pie, Why, why, what?, life is always a mystery, since his life on the farm of stones, until now, almost every fic that speak of foot pinkie, talk about:
1. - Issues with mom and dad, discussion and went back home and reconcile with them.
2. - One of his sisters and sister dies (in this fic was Octavia) takes her to pony ville, knows the cake, which makes his apprentice.
Now your property and you throw a stone to agitate the sea of mysteries called Pinkie Pie, good in the Slice of Life, life is always tragic. But just like.
Without further ado, it gives off a friend and reader, certainly in the bottom I'll leave it in Spanish.
Saludos desde Perú, este mensaje esta algo atrasado visto que hace unas semanas me e cruzado con su fic Post Nuptials, el cual fue muy bueno, y algo verdadero, respecto a la situación que sucedió en la boda. Con alegría descubrí que había una continuación, Families el cual perece calentar más el asunto de pasados escabrosos, y realidades que ya de por si algunos fanes no aceptan.
Terminada las felicitaciones, comenzare con los puntos fuertes de estos dos capítulos.
Bien grandes sorpresas, curiosidades y demás un pasado que de por sí puede ser cierto, y un presente, igual de intrincado.
Primero, tenemos el caso de twilight, el cual está con un conflicto con sigo misma, y el cual empeora por no saber qué le pasa a Spike, por otro lado Rarity y AJ. Piensan en ayudarla pero a veces la cura suele ser peor que la enfermedad.
Segundo, el caso de Spike el cual siente que ha defraudado a twi, por no estar a su lado, en el momento que mas la necesitaba, y si combinamos con los sentimientos que siente por ella, quizás lo lleve hace algo estúpido (quizás volver a escapar). En este punto me alegra que hayas usado la teoría de “mi primera imagen” el cual nos explica cómo algunos animales y reptiles reconocen al primer ser viviente que eta frente de “el” como su madre, es interesante tuve un debate friki respecto a eso hace unos meses, y el por qué nunca veremos un especial del día de las madres en MLP:FiM.
El tercero, algo interesante scootaloo, nunca hemos visto a sus padres, no sabemos nada de ellos la teoría desde ponis terrestres hasta huérfana, son palabras que todos los días pasa por la boca de los fanes, solo e leído un par de veces ( muy pocos fic) sobre sus padres de, pero este caso es algo interesante, el padre de scoot, parece ser un tipo de científico con un trauma respecto al vuelo, quizás no se, un incidente, y aunque parece descuidado, parece amar a su hija y ella lo ama a él, pero el recelo que siente hacia RD. También puede ser psicológico, y creo tener una respuesta, pero no quiero decir nada, veré si mis suposiciones son ciertas según como avanza tu historia.
Y por ultimo pinkie pie, ¿Por qué, por qué, por qué?, siempre su vida es un misterio, desde su vida en la granja de piedras, hasta la actualidad, casi todos los fic que hablan de pinkie pie, hablan de:
1.- problemas con mama y papa, discusión y se fue de casa después regresa y se reconcilian con ellos.
2.- una de sus hermanas muere y la hermana mayor (en ese fic era Octavia) se la lleva a pony ville, conoce a los cake, los cuales la convierten en su aprendiz.
Ahora tu bienes y lanzas una piedra para agitar ese mar de misterios llamada Pinkie pie, bueno en los Slice of Life, siempre es trágica su vida. Pero igual gusta.
Sin mas que agregar, se despide una amigo y lector.
Well Scoots's dad seems like a kind of overproteccionism dad in some moments, i mean he isn't like a 100% evil, but at the saem time he protects her daughter in a way that also affects Scoot in a negative way, it's a very clever and complex character, he isn't like the normal evil guy in the stories, he's more how a dad tries to protects her daughter but at the same time he didn't take care of her a lot.
Another thing, about Pinkie's past it looks like the most interesting part inside the story for me, because you never know exactly why Pinkie was so unhappy when she was just a little filly in the rock farm, and also the reason why move to Sugarcube Corner. I can see now, that she always try to make everypony happy and have a good time to deal with the emotional charga that she probably has when she was a littly filly, it's amazing how telling different stories; just little thing not a lot; can make you thing in all of the situations using your imagination. Very work there, there are just a few fic around here that are so deeper and really caught your attetion.
Sorry for my english, btw it isn't my native language
>>1004786 nunca espere encontrarme con otro compatriota brony en este lugar, Brohoof /)
Well, Scootaloo's dad could end up being a problem, considering his apparent dislike of RD, and RD's commitment to stick her nose into Scootaloos home life. I very much look forward to seeing how this bit plays out.
Twilight and Spike, there is a lot of tension there. Should be interesting to see how she tries to get her little brother/son figure to open up, and how AJ and Rarity try to "help."
Pinkie Pies backstory is, of course, something that we all wish to see.
Cancel
Send