Reset Password
Resend Verification Email
Darth Link 22
6
63
210
6
63
210
Joined April 2012
951 followers
Groups
-
2w, 1dSad
-
14w, 6dArt for Fanfiction
-
2w, 1dPinkie Pies Only!
-
2w, 1dScootaloo
-
2w, 1dSpike Fanfictions
- Show All Groups
-
43w, 4dTwilight's Library
-
32w, 5dfimfiction's favorites
-
24w, 2dTwilight and Spike
-
38w, 5dScootalove is Best Love
-
30w, 3dFeature Box Crusaders
-
25w, 4dMLP: Motherhood is Magical
-
12w, 3dChildren of Equestria
-
7w, 4dThe ACW Call-Out
-
2w, 2hScootafamily!
-
6d, 9hMeri's Favorite Stories
2,417
12,430
Ponyville was a pretty unremarkable town. Or at least, it had been before Twilight decided to call it home. Still, even with her living there it was still not much. Having the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony living there had oddly enough not made it much of a military target.
Twilight was grateful for that at the moment. Such an out of the way town meant that news of the Changeling Invasion hadn’t reached it yet, meaning they didn’t have to put up with a large crowd of ponies, eager to learn the details.
Still, Big Macintosh was there, ready to help his sister haul home the leftovers from the wedding. Applejack was all too eager to load his cart with uneaten treats and a chest full of bits.
“So, we’ll meet up at the library tomorrow for breakfast?” Twilight asked.
“First thing,” Rarity assured. “I think that lovely little restaurant near the spa would be nice.”
“Oh, bleah,” Rainbow Dash gave a fake vomiting noise. “Can’t we go to something not so...frilly? I’ve had enough of that this weekend.”
“Ah, ah, now, this is an apology meal to Twilight. It needs to be something nicer than sandwiches and hay fries.”
“You really don’t have to...” Twilight began, but Rarity put a hoof over her mouth.
“I know we don’t have to, but we want to. I insist.”
“Apology for what?” Big Macintosh couldn’t help but ask.
“I’ll tell ya when we get home,” Applejack assured, looking slightly embarrassed at the whole thing.
“Well, I guess,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “But next time we go out to eat, we’re going to the outdoor café.”
“We’ll see,” Rarity said, in a tone that hinted that they wouldn’t see.
“Um, I better get home and make sure Derpy has taken good care of Angel and the others,” Fluttershy said. She had opened the birdcages she had brought, allowing her singing birds to stretch their wings for the first time in hours. “But, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I better head home to. Mr. and Mrs. Cake will want a break from Pound and Pumpkin,” Pinkie said, bouncing off. “See you guys tomorrow!”
“We’ll meet up in the morning,” Twilight assured. The others muttered their goodbyes as they took off in separate directions.
Or at least, most of them did. Rarity lingered behind a bit. Her younger sister stayed by her side, getting impatient. “Rarity, why are we hanging around here? Shouldn’t we be getting back to your house?”
“Have patience, Sweetie, that’s a quality of a lady,” the elder unicorn lectured. “I still need to attend to something.” After the others had walked far enough that she was sure that they wouldn’t overhear, she trotted over to Applejack, who was just finishing loading Big Macintosh’s cart. “Applejack, might I have a word with you back at the Boutique?”
“Well gee, Rare, can it wait ‘till breakfast tomorrow? I’m awfully tired, see...”
“I’d really prefer we talk before we meet with Twilight tomorrow. And this needs to be between the two of us for now.”
Applejack blinked, but nodded. “Sure, I guess. Big Mac, you gonna be fine taking all this stuff an’ Applebloom home?”
“Eeyup,” the burly stallion nodded, beginning to pull the wagon back to Sweet Apple Acres, his little sister perched on his back.
“So what’s this about?” the cowpony asked.
“Let’s get to the Boutique first.”
Scootaloo walked through Ponyville alone, ruing not having her scooter with her. The lantern streetlights provided the only light outside of Luna’s moon. She made a steady pace for home, not dragging her hooves but not in any particular hurry.
“Hey Scoots,” Rainbow Dash called, causing the filly to halt in her tracks, turning to face her idol. “What are you doing walking all by yourself?”
“Going home?” Scootaloo half asked, half answered.
“I can see that,” Rainbow Dash said flatly. “But why are you walking home alone? Why didn’t your parents come pick you up?”
The younger pegasus shrugged. “They don’t have to. I would be walking home either way, and it’s not like there’s anything dangerous in Ponyville...usually.”
Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smirk. Ponyville had been known as a quiet town for years before Twilight had moved in. Since then it had experienced visits from Nightmare Moon and Discord, and Spike’s rampage added to the list. Still, it was mostly safe. Dangerous creatures mostly stayed confined in the Everfree Forest, the last creature to leave had been the Ursa Minor that Snips and Snails had agitated. Even diamond dogs didn’t dare attack Ponyville, as to not incur the wrath of the Royal Guard.
“Well, I guess,” the elder mare admitted. “Still, it isn’t fair you have to walk home alone. Want a lift?”
Scootaloo instantly brightened up. “Really? You’re going to take me flying?”
“Only if you hop on,” she smirked, motioning to her back. The filly needed no second bidding. In a flash she was up on her idol’s back with her forelegs around her neck.
“Hold on tight,” Rainbow Dash instructed, though it was largely unnecessary. With a few flaps of her wings the two were in the air, just over the rooftops. “Where do you live?” she asked. Scootaloo pointed in some vague direction, and the elder pegasus followed.
“You enjoy the wedding? Did you like being a flower filly?”
“You bet I did!” the foal said happily. Then she got defensive. “I mean, I didn’t like being frilly or nothing, but it was cool to be able to lead a princess down the aisle. I still hate...”
“Easy there,” Rainbow Dash laughed. “I’m not much for frilly things either, but I liked being a bridesmaid. Doesn’t make me any less tough.”
“Yeah, well...Cadence was nice. The real one I mean, not that big bug. I didn’t like her.”
“Can’t say I blame you, kid. She did kind of rub me the wrong way, even before she revealed herself.”
Scootaloo looked at her idol incredulously. “You told me to just take it because she was under a lot of stress.”
The cyan pony sighed. “Kid, I made a mistake. I forgot there’s a difference between something that’s understandable and something that’s acceptable.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Rainbow Dash began, rubbing her head in thought. “Rarity once had us all help her get ready for a big fashion photographer visiting her. She was being short with all of us, but even while she was doing it, she knew how rude it was and apologized. The fake Cadence acted like she had every right to treat us that way. That’s what made it really wrong. Do you understand?”
Scootaloo nodded. “I think so. It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you admit to them?”
“Kind of,” the elder mare said. “Everypony makes mistakes. You’re only bad if you don’t admit to the mistake. Am I getting closer?”
“Yeah. It’s a little to the left,” the filly answered, allowing her mentor to adjust her flight path. “Well, is Twilight okay? I mean, you seemed worried about it last night?”
“You don’t have to worry, pipsqueak. We’re all friends again, plus Soarin’s going to come into town in a few weeks to take me out on a date.’
“He’s coming here?” she said excitedly, stars in her eyes. “You think I could get an autograph?”
“You could have gotten one last night if you hadn’t run off like that,” Rainbow Dash joked. Instantly she regretted saying this, because the foal perched on her back got quiet.
“I’m sure he’ll still give you one,” she reassured. “Anyway, can you see your house from here?”
Scootaloo silently pointed to a two-story house. Rainbow Dash landed and allowed her number one fan to climb down off her back.
“Look, squirt, I’ve got tomorrow off. How about we hang out a bit? That offer for flying lessons is still on the table.”
The orange filly stiffened. “Um…you don’t have to…”
“I know I don’t. I just want to help a super cool filly get even cooler. Besides, all my friends have to work tomorrow, I’ll have nothing to do.”
Scootaloo kicked the dirt. “Um…”
Rainbow Dash sighed. She knew the younger pegasus was looking for an excuse to say no. “Look, think about it will you?”
“Sure thing, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo nodded enthusiastically, glad the questioning was over.
“Well, I’ll be seeing you, pipsqueak,” the older mare said. With that she took off, leaving her number one fan alone.
Spike entered the library first, obediently pulling the wagon of Twilight’s things behind him. Twilight followed, glancing around the room as she entered.
“Well, it looks like Owlowiscious kept this place clean while we were gone,” she noted with approval. At that point, said owl swooped down from upstairs to greet his master. On his back was Pee Wee, who hopped down into Spike’s claws when the older bird flew over him.
“Hey there, kiddo,” the baby dragon nuzzled the phoenix affectionately. “Looks like he fed you alright too.” He got a happy chirp in response.
“So, how about you unpack while I make us some tea?” Twilight suggested.
Spike shifted uncomfortably. “Um, no thanks,” he muttered, placing his charge on his shoulder. “I mean, I’m not thirsty,” he said as he began unloading the wagon.
“Well, are you hungry? Applejack gave us some of the leftovers from the wedding, and I think there are still some of your gemstones in the pantry...”
“I ate on the train,” he said, more curtly than he intended.
Twilight sighed. “Fine,” she said, going into the kitchen to heat up some tea.
Spike quickly unpacked. He placed Twilight’s Best Mare dress in her dresser, and the books she had brought on her nightstand. He brought the leftover food into the kitchen, avoiding looking at Twilight the whole time. The unicorn only watched him with a sigh.
With everything packed away, Spike headed to the bedroom and grabbed Pee Wee’s nest, placing it in his basket. Carefully, making sure Twilight was distracted making herself a meal, he carried his bed into one of the other rooms in the library. After setting it up, he placed the nest on the windowsill. Then he quietly went back into the bedroom.
While only getting books every year had grown a bit stale, Spike had cherished each and every one of Twilight’s birthday gifts. He had read each tome cover to cover more than once, and he still enjoyed thumbing through them occasionally. Opening a chest at the end of Twilight’s bed, he pulled out his favorite in the collection, an anthology of heroic tales from ancient, pre-Celestia times.
Holding the volume under his arm, he began trotting back to the room he had left his basket in. He had almost reached it when Twilight called his name again. “Spike?”
He froze, turning around to greet his caretaker. “Yeah?”
“Spike… is everything alright?”
The baby dragon froze in horror, his eyes widening. “Of course, why wouldn’t they be?” he asked, a little too fast.
Twilight shook her head. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” she said. “You’ve been avoiding me since the wedding. Now what’s wrong?”
“It’s… nothing,” he said weakly.
“Spike, remember when Owlowiscious moved in? I told you then, you never have to lie to me. Now what is it?”
The young dragon shifted a bit. “Really, it’s nothing. I just…”
“Is it about not believing me about Cadence?”
Spike’s blood ran cold, or it would have, if he weren’t already cold-blooded. She knew.
Twilight gave a smile. “If that’s all it is, I told the others I could understand why they didn’t believe me. I’m not mad at you, okay?”
Now his eyes were watering. He turned away from her. “I know. I-I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” He tried to keep his voice steady. He failed.
Twilight began wrapping his forelegs around him, but he quickly stepped away, to her surprise.
“Spike, what’s wrong?” she asked again.
“N-nothing,” he answered.
“Please, what is it?”
“Nothing!” Spike yelled, running into the safety of the room and shutting the door. Before Twilight could reach it, it was locked.
“Spike, please come out and talk to me,” she pleaded. She got no answer.
Mentally, she went through her options. It would be no challenge for her to unlock the door, but would it be wise? Should she continue to try and talk to him through the door? Should she wait for him to calm down?
She gave a resigned sigh. “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen.” Then she trotted away, leaving him alone.
She sighed as she reached the kitchen. Despite Spike’s insistence that he wasn’t hungry, she had set out a few gemstones for him to munch on while they talked. Shaking her head at the fact that they would go uneaten, she took her dandelion sandwich and went into the main reading area. She still had a promise to keep to Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie slowly walked through the door to Sugarcube Corner. Since the twins had been born, she had learned to enter quietly at after-hours, lest she stay up all night trying to get them back to sleep.
She carried her bags up the stairs, and saw that the quiet entrance was for nothing. Cup and Carrot Cake were in the nursery, playing with the still very much awake Pound and Pumpkin.
“I’m home!” she said happily, bouncing into the room. Almost immediately the infants gave squeals of delight as they reached over to their surrogate sister.
“Pinkie, you’re back,” Mrs. Cake said delightfully as Pinkie took the twins in her forelegs and began cradling them. “How was Canterlot?”
To their surprise, Pinkie didn’t go bouncing around, talking about how pretty the wedding was, or how exciting the reception was. She just gave a small smile. “It was nice,” she said.
The two bakers gave each other a glance before turning back to their foster daughter. “Pinkie, is everything alright?”
She stopped smiling. Her eyes drifted to the side before looking back at them. “I have something I need to tell you…”
Rarity calmly poured some of her leftover cider into two mugs. She normally served tea to guests, but she knew Applejack wasn’t the tea drinking sort, and she was already inconveniencing her enough asking her to come on such short notice.
“Alright, Rare, what’s this about? You tryin’ ta get me to take some of those lessons in money management again?”
“No, though I really wish you would…never mind, I want to talk to you about Twilight.”
The cowpony tilted her head. “What d’ya mean?”
Sitting at the table at last, she sighed. “It’s her tendency to… ‘flip out’, as it were. I wanted to talk to you about something we can do about it.”
Applejack arched an eyebrow. “Uh, Rare? You’re thinkin’ Twilight needs to stop freakin’ out?”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Rarity huffed. “I’m aware of the hypocrisy. But it’s different for Twilight. She’s the one in charge. We’ve never said it out loud, but you know as well as I do that whenever Princess Celestia sends us to do anything, we follow her. She needs to learn to keep a level head. Besides, you saw Twilight breaking up about it on the train. We cannot just let that go by unacknowledged.”
“I guess you’re right. But why couldn’t this wait ‘till tomorrow at breakfast?”
“Well, first off I wanted to keep this between just us for right now. Rainbow Dash has her hooves full worrying about Scootaloo, and you just know she’s going to ask Fluttershy and Pinkie to help her. Those three would have enough on their plate without this.”
“I guess that makes sense. Still don’t get why you couldn’t have talked to me tomorrow.”
Rarity sighed. “Because we can’t put this off any longer. We’ve known about Twilight’s problem for a while, and we’ve always treated it as a harmless little quirk. We simply cannot do that anymore. It nearly cost us dearly yesterday. I want us to come up with something now, and to begin on it tomorrow if possible.”
Applejack sighed. “I see your point. I guess we have kinda been passin’ that off as harmless. But do we need to do anything special? We could just put our hooves down the next time she starts frettin’ over somethin’.”
“That was our method at the wedding, and look what happened. We need to find some way to help her calm herself down whenever she gets upset.”
“I reckon you’re right. But what can we do about it?”
Rarity shook her head. “I’m not sure. That’s why we’re here. I was hoping you and I could brainstorm something up. Anything we can do to help her stay calm in the future would do wonders.”
Applejack sighed. “I guess that makes sense. I figure talking to Twilight about this tomorrow would be the best thing.”
“I would,” the unicorn agreed. “I would have her here tonight if she didn’t have Spike to worry about. Hopefully by tomorrow that will be cleared up. Until then, I’m simply hoping to find something we can start on.”
Comments ( 111 )
Post Comment
Refresh
Oooh, goodie. Finally here...and well worth the wait. You're off to an excellent start setting things up and building on the loose ends that you left hanging in Post Nuptuals. This is gonna be a good read. I still love your characterizations of the cast--true to form, while at the same time expanding on it in ways that make sense.
Found a typo for ya!
"Still, Big Macintosh was there, ready to help her sister haul home the leftovers from the wedding. " <--should be his?
Looking forward to seeing where this goes!
This sequel is off to a great start. I like the tiny details you have added to each scene, it really adds to the level of immersion this story has. By picking up almost immediately after Post Nuptials you were able to segue nicely into this story and were able to bring immediate attention to the major plot points.
While bringing attention to them in the first chapter would likely be a mistake in most stories it works well in others, especially ones like this. If one were to pull that sort of stunt in an epic length story it would be a big mistake as most would likely forget about them quickly, but in a smaller story like this, and assuming that it is likely to stick at least somewhat close to PN in terms of formatting and chapter pacing, it should work out rather well.
Another point in this story's favor is that pretty much every plot point is character based, which adds a great deal of depth to the characters themselves and makes them feel more ... natural for lack of a better term. Furthermore at least two of the plot points, Pinkie and Scootaloo respectively, are very good opportunities for further world building.
I eagerly await the next chapter.
...[/verbose]
I would so love to see this:
Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/images/8a/8ae02ad480ed0633739dddaa2df780f0
+scootaloo%20(mlp)%20abuse%20background%20bandage%20blood%20crying%20dash%20equine%20fear%20female%20horse%20pegasus%20plain%20pony%20rainbow%20scared%20scootabuse%20shadow%20solo%20t%20tsampikos.jpg)
Image: http://danbo.social-heartbeat.com/data/image/a28a05eccb5704f85f31a446e01851f8/delish%2010273%20(mlp)+scootaloo%20(mlp)%20abuse%20background%20bandage%20blood%20crying%20dash%20equine%20fear%20female%20horse%20pegasus%20plain%20pony%20rainbow%20scared%20scootabuse%20shadow%20solo%20t%20tsampikos.jpgJust hope this isn't what's happening to Scoots...
i saw this in the feature box and didn't even realize that it was a sequal to post nuptuals until i started reading. which by the way makes this 20% cooler
>>959086 if this does happen to be the case it will probably take 
and
to keep 
from beating which ever pony is abusing 
to within an inch of their lives. and that is only if they dont know why RD is suddenly so violent
Awesome! I loved Post Nuptials and I'm really eager to see just where this story will go. I especially like the Rainbow Dash angle with Scootaloo and Soarin' from Post Nuptials. The Spike one is pretty deep.
Hm. I don't know why but something about Rarity's conversation with Applejack just doesn't sit right with me. Aside from going behind Twilight's back, it's RARITY commenting about how Twilight can overreact. Yeaaah. Wish I had an icon of a teapot and a kettle, both pitch black. Not that Twilight's...zealousness can't be a problem, it is. But that's not something you can fix short of time and effort. Therapy maybe...not that I think Twi is mentally unwell or anything, but talking about your problems really can do wonders for them. As it stands I feel like Rarity and AJ are looking for some quick fix, like--I don't know--deciding that they're going to try to hide or sugarcoat things in front of her to prevent a future freak out instead of just talking with her like mature, rational individuals. I love this story and I am really eager to see what you have in mind for this.
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I discovered Post Nupitals today and finished it in the same day. I checked your other stories, and was disappointed to see that there was no sequel. And what do I see in the featured box a few hours later? THE SEQUEL!!! Do you read my mind???
*Deep breaths* *Dies of joy*
This is a good start!
However, while I can imagine that Rarity might be a bit self-blind and not saying something like "I have a tendency to overreact myself, but...", it feels weird that Applejack doesn't at least call out Rarity for being the bot that calls the kettle black, even if that would simply mean that Rarity explains how she feels her behaviour is different than Twilight's.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes!
As I see it, Twilight's problem is that she's compelled to solve problems that come to her attention, and cannot quit on them. (the only instances where she has quit actually reinforce this... The first was the "doozy" that Pinkie predicted, i.e. Something that she never would expect in a million years, and the second was the moment when Twilight betrayed her true nature as a result of Discord and turned grey, giving up on her friends.) When her every effort to solve a problem is inexplicably thwarted, then her frustration levels rise but she doesn't truly go crazy (see her efforts with Pinkie Sense and Parasprites). However, when her problem solving instinct is triggered and yet she cannot find the problem to act upon, that is when she becomes unhinged (Lesson Zero and It's About Time.)
She needs to plan out a course of action and act upon it, otherwise she can't cope. That's why she's awesome in a real crisis... She's hardwired to deal with them, and won't stop until it's dealt with. If she gets wound up without a problem to solve, however, then she has no release and meltdown occurs.
Seemingly up to the high standards you've set for yourself. I'll be interested in seeing where you take it... especially Twi/Spike's situation. My guess is that Spike saw how happy Cadenza and Shiny were, and now he wants Twilight to feel the same... to have the same in her life... something that she can't accomplish if she has a baby dragon draped over her all the time, so he's starting to distance himself.
Just my guess. Looking forward to where you go with it.
Obligatory:
Image: http://internetjedi.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/this_gon_b_gud_gif.gifGreat job so far, loved PN, excited for this!
They're not conspiring. They will be upfront with her about it, they're just discussing possibilities right now. They didn't let Twilight in on it at the moment because she's preoccupied with Spike and they're expecting that matter to be resolved by tomorrow.
>>958837, >>958800, >>958900, >>960134
Thanks for catching that.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Yeah, I really should have had that in the description from the start.
Your criticisms are noted on the hypocracy. However, they aren't looking for a quick fix. They're looking for a way to help Twilight control herself when she freaks out. The expressly avoid what would be a quick fix. I need to rewrite that scene.
Because she knows Scoots would want to see him again.
If she was, she was a background pony and it can really be ignored.
No. This is an E rated story.
Interesting analysis...I'll keep that in mind.
Actually, Spike's reasons for feeling guilty were explained in my last story, Post Nuptials. He feels like mud because he betrayed someone he loved like a mother, and now he's afraid of telling Twilight he sees her as a mother. This is a sequel...probably should have made that clearer in the description.
Extremely happy to see that the promised (or alluded to?) sequel has made it up here, this is fantastic and it has been instantly favorited and tracked. Based on what I've seen thus far, I can say without fair certainty that this is going to be another fantastic piece of fanfiction.
I like how you included the insightful comparison to when Rarity was being short with her friends while making dresses vs. fake Cadance before the wedding.
I am a fan of Post Nuptials, so I'm looking forward to this.
One critique though, at least in my personal opinion - "Applejack sighed. 'You know thinkin’ ain’t my strong suit, Rare. But for Twilight, I’ll try.'”
Ackgpth... that just seems a little clumsy and tacky for me. The sentence could be slightly changed. I think that Applejack probably sees herself as a sensible and reasonably intelligent mare - and she is - but perhaps struggles to help with girly emotional stuff. Or perhaps instead, as a down-to-earth farm mare, she might not immediately know how to help with the stress that ponies like Twilight heap on themselves. Or perhaps something else insightful that you as the author think up. Maybe something to fit with the rest of the story. Just...something.
It's just that...to me, this comes off as Applejack calling herself a dumb pony - and that just doesn't work for me.
Anyways, sorry to spend so much time on that one thing. It's the only thing that bothered me, really.
The storyline and emotions of it all seem well thought out, and I like your way of expressing both the characters and the emotions. Keep writing, this story makes me happy 
but still amazing 
One chapter, sixty-one comments.
How I envy you.
Anyway.
Well written, as Pre-Nuptials was. Looking forward to the rest of the tale, will favorite so I can follow it. There's nothing I can say about edits that hasn't already been said, so I won't bother.
Looking forward to it. Good start to a, I'm positive, great tale.
You should put up a link to the prequel. [ url= (the url) ] Post Nuptials [ /url ]
It should look like this: Post Nuptials
What's the bet that that isn't Scoots' home?
I'm guessing Spike ran away.
Pinkie getting all serious is not usually a good sign... Best put the twins to bed first Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
I'm somewhat hoping for RariJack shipping but that's just because my mind is never out of the gutter. Trying to avoid getting my hopes up.
This is good quality stuff. Keep it up! I'm looking forward to the rest of it (if you couldn't tell already)!
Have I really used that line that much?
Good start, but if I may be frank, I hope more happens than just endless conversation. This story makes up for that by having some bloody good dialogue and characterization of each and every character, but still, one can only read conversations for so long.
Still a great start, and....
I eagerly await the next chapter.
Excellent work at the start of this sequel. You get this.
Image: http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/040/f/6/twilight_sparkle_seal_of_approval_by_ahumeniy-d4p69ku.pngMay the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
So many stories, that looks really interesting, i really like this story and i would love it more when it get more chapters 
good work 
PS: about this:
“You don’t have to worry, pipsqueak. We’re all friends again, plus Soarin’s going to come into town in a few weeks to take me out on a date.’ OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE MAKE A KIND OF SHIPPING WITH DASHIE AND SOARIN´
i really like to see that she isn't involving in a mare.mare love
Great start. I was shocked when Scootaloo didn't want to spend time with Rainbow Dash, I thought little Scootaloo would be jumping around all over the place to spend time with her idol. Interesting. . Also the part with Spike starting to become anti-social, man I must know what started it . I'm following this story all the way! Keep it up! 
>>959086 I swear to every god that's ever been worshiped if something like that happens I will somehow build a portal to equestria and fucking kill Rainbowdash.
It will be slow...it will be painful...I will use the most disgusting, vile, and horrible torture methods invented by mankind.
She will beg for mercy...she will recieve none.
I will laugh as every bone in her body is broken, then healed, only to be broken again.
I will watch as the very skin is torn from her body.
I will dance to the sound of her screams.
I will drink the blood that falls from her wings as they are ripped apart, one feather at a time.
I will take out her eyes, but still allow them to see, so she can watch as her body is shredded like cheese.
I will take the remains of her lifeless body and feast on them with gusto.
Then, as her crushed, drained soul floats up to salvation, I will reverse what I have done.
I will bring her back, forcing her to endure every punishment in reverse.
I will turn back time itself
I will allow the rest of the cosmos to stay where it is while I turn Rainbowdash into a filly.
I will erase her memory and leave her flightless
Finally, I will watch with tears of joy in my eyes as Rainbowdash learns her lesson by befriending Scootaloo.
Her debt will be repaid.
Her sin will be forgiven.
She will be loved once more.
The End
The Master of Madness, signing off.(With tears in his eyes)
Great start! One suggestion:
Applejack arched an eyebrow. “Uh, Rare? You’re thinkin’ Twilight needs to stop freakin’ out?”
Rarity's next line about hypocrisy made me have to go back and reread that line with a different emphasis. I'd throw italics in there, so it reads more like this:
Applejack arched an eyebrow. “Uh, Rare? You’re thinkin’ Twilight needs to stop freakin’ out?”
Just an idea....
!
I will not deny the fact that there is something wrong with me. I have problems, yes but I am not insane. Mabye a little crazy.
You know, the odd/funny thing is that as I started to write my last comment, rainbow factory started playing on my ipod.
RANDOM POEM
Siren Song of The Damned
Hush now, don't say another goddamn word
Up until now I've been polite
If you say anything else, one word, I will kill myself
And when my tainted finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place
From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, fueled by my hatred for you
This, fear engine, will bore a hole between this world and that one
When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming, as though from a great distance
A smoking ord of nothing will grow above your head, and from will emerge one-thousand starving crows
As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated
Then, as tears of bubbling pitch sream down my face, my dark work will begin
I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the earth
If you like it, tell me. If not, then I'll just have to have a talk with the guild of assasins.
Sleep tight, don't let the slendermen bite...
The Master of Madness, signing off.
It's starting to become easier to appreciate not getting featured when I think of having to read through 80 some comments in two days.
Anyways, I just wanna say that Spike should be proud. "Since then it had experienced visits from Nightmare Moon and Discord, and Spike’s rampage added to the list." He's on the fucking list of bad assery. That's equivalent to winning the lottery as a force of destruction. GO SPIKE!
I would agree, though there are two factors I don't think you are accounting for: Princess Celestia and the time left to finish the task.
The two biggest ''freak outs'' Twilight has experienced would be the Parasprite Incident and Lesson Zero. Pinkie Sense? That seemed more intense studying than a breakdown, with Miss Logic and Rules accepting that not everything has a clear-cut answer. Discord? That was depression over losing her five best friends (much like the sadness she initially felt at the end of S1E2.) Looking at the Parisprite and Lesson Zero, each had two common denominators: Making a good appearance to Princess Celestia, and the full blown ''freak out'' happening when time is almost out to complete the former.
I agree that those are factors, but as long as she has a plan in place she actually copes quite well. She's undoubtedly nervous and anal when Celestia's approval is on the line, but she's not delusional or making poor judgements. She was confident and fine all through "Swarm of the Century" until Celestia was literally less than a minute away, and even then her little bout of crazy lasted all of 15 seconds while she outlined her unworkable "rebuild Ponyville right over there" plan before she returned to normal, sighed dejectedly and said "Zecora was right... we're doomed." So despite the stress of wanting everything to be perfect for Celestia *and* an actual problem to deal with she didn't really become unhinged all throughout the ordeal, and when faced with failure ultimately just cast about desperately for a new plan which even she recognized as silly right after she said it.
I compare that to "Lesson Zero" and "It's About Time" where she makes progressively worse decisions from an early point in things onwards, eventually turning nothing into a crisis, and to me the obvious connection between those two plotlines is that she never is able to identify a problem to solve in these episodes despite desperately searching for one. Problems she can deal with, no matter the stakes... be it for Celestia's approval or the very survival of Equestria (and I agree, she seems to place about equal weight on each.)
However, she can't make a plan if she can't identify the problem, and plans are what give her confidence. She is all about the plan... she meticulously schedules out everything, she makes checklists for every task... planning is how she functions. She's a great leader in a crisis because she can always come up with a plan to deal with a problem. When things deviate from the plan, she can handle it... she just forms a new plan and everything goes back to making sense. But when she can't make a plan to solve the problem because she can't identify it, then she seems to totally lose her grip.
As for the incidents with Discord and Pinkie Sense, I mainly brought those up to illustrate how the writers have pretty much stated that it's completely against her nature to give up. A normal person (pony) when faced with no obvious course of action would be able to let things go and just wait for one to present itself. She's locked into having to do *something* about it, even when there's nothing to do, which is what makes for the tragic meltdown scenarios above.
Cancel
Send