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obscurica 202

Joined November 2011
23 followers

    obscurica's Stories (2)

    • Remix
      An elite of the music world and a street-savvy DJ. Nobody expects this to work. Especially not them.

      5,178 words · 1,554 views · 39 likes · 0 dislikes
    • Arcadia
      Space opera inspired retelling of S1E1-2. Significant Asimov/Clarke influence.
      17,299 words · 1,033 views · 31 likes · 5 dislikes
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    It finds and entangles them, heedless of genre, of class, of background or expectation - a thin red string, synchronizing the rhythm of two Manehatten hearts.

    First Published
    7th Dec 2011
    Last Modified
    7th Dec 2011

    Comments ( 17 )

    #1 · 76w, 1d ago · · ·
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    :twilightsmile: I often find that getting ready to search for the next chapter of a story, even if it came out a few hours ago means that the story is good.

    I always love Vinyl stuff and Vinyl/Octavia stuff is always good. What I really like is that the music is worked in as well; sometimes it gets lost in shipism of the story, which isn't bad either.

    #2 · 76w, 22h ago · · ·
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    i don't understand a fuck

    #3 · 76w, 12h ago · · ·
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    Um.....damn :rainbowderp:

    This is.....very good :twilightoops:

    #4 · 76w, 4h ago · · ·
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    Your adverbs tend to look like adjectives. There is a paragraph at the beginning of the story that interferes with dialogue. Two people should never speak within the same paragraph; that is just plain rude.

    It's such a shame that such petty mistakes can taint wonderful pieces of art such as this.

    #5 · 76w, 4h ago · · ·
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    Tracking :D

    #6 · 75w, 6d ago · · ·
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    4.3 STARS?!

    (description of rage, edited now that this fic has the rating it deserves)

    This story is indescribably well-written, at least compared to some of the drivel on this site.  I have seen fics with a 6th grade reading level that have higher ratings.

    What's the problem? I was never confused by the dialogue or descriptions.  It was beautiful. I couldn't find a single error, although that may be because I was so absorbed. The only thing I would recommend is to italicize the dialogue in Vinyl's flashback, for readability.

    In my opinion this has received low ratings because people these days have ceased reading material that requires any intellectual participation on the reader's part. This, however, is stimulative yet captivating.

    As for characterizations, with a few brief interactions you have portrayed the two main characters in a better manner than I have ever seen. Both are more believable and relatable.  Octavia is less pompous and Vinyl more intelligent, closing the personality disparity that irked me so. I do hope, however, that Vinyl regains her classic optimism and flirtatious nature; for if she were this ill-tempered the whole story it would be rather disappointing.

    But I do not expect you to disappoint.  On the contrary: I expect a work of art which astounds.

    Needless to say, 5 stars.

    And here's the obligatory "you get all my internetz"  :twilightsmile:

    #7 · 75w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This was really good I can't for Moar! :yay:

    #8 · 75w, 10h ago · · ·
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    BTW meant to say can't wait for more, my android sucks :s

    #9 · 71w, 2d ago · · ·
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    :rainbowderp: Did not expect it to be this AWESOME!:pinkiehappy:

    I read this a while ago but I keep coming back to read it.

    Great job!

    #10 · 69w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I'm rather liking this.  Keep up the good work.

    #11 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Needs another chapter. Or two. Or three. Or 15. :rainbowkiss:

    #12 · 66w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>58208 TL;DR version: Me Gusta.

    #13 · 64w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This is definetly one of the best Vinyl Scratch & Octavia fics i've read.

    Hope it gets more chapters (but considering the time without update, not being optimistic).

    #14 · 60w, 2d ago · · ·
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    this is a fantastic story that really, really needs to update

    #15 · 59w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Please continue this! It's amazing.

    I need to know what happens!

    #16 · 58w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I'm intrigued. While it may be a little difficult to follow at times, it has a well written and seemingly thought-out story line. It could use a bit of refinement to perhaps... accentuate... the details and such, but it is definitely worth reading. I'll be keeping my eye on this. Tracking! :twilightsmile:

    #17 · 20w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Two words.

    The first two words was all it took for this story to come rushing back, despite the fact that I haven't read it since it went up on the blog. (Though I think I read something with a similar setup recently, so that helped. No, it wasn't as good.)

    That this story has languished since then without an update is a shame. Are you still around? Still thinking about this?

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