“Hey, boss, isn’t it—?”
The toll of the town’s clock tower interrupted Swordrunner’s subordinate, each chime causing a slight twitch in his eyebrow. “Nine o’clock.” He held himself still, laying in the alleyway behind a confectioner’s that smelled of sugar so strongly he could feel the cavities form in his teeth.
“Think he got lost? Our maps are out of date. The town’s much bigger than we thought.”
“It’s not that big. I don’t like this.”
A snort barely muffled itself inside Swordrunner’s nose. They were right, of course, but their words were laughably late. The question isn’t whether or not he’s caught. The question is: who gave us up to whom? He pulled out the picture of their target, the paper soaked in sweat from the hot summer day. The image and the biographical data had already been burned into the back of his mind: short unicorn mare, purple coat, dark flat mane with purple stripe, starburst cutie mark. Just below the image, the name was spelled out in bold: Twilight Sparkle. Even heroes can have enemies, eh, little miss?
A hushed shuffle sounded from around the corner behind him, and his team swung around to point their blades at an alley cat rustling through garbage.
Amateurs. They’re scared stiff. He grunted and lifted himself off the ground, looking one last time at the picture in his telekinesis. “Twenty-five million isn’t worth this.”
“Sir?”
He turned around to his team. “Get ready, all of you. We’re leaving. Don’t leave anything on the ground, no alley dust or garbage smear on your armor. No physical evidence.”
One of the earth ponies next to him raised an eyebrow. “Why the extra effort?”
Swordrunner curled his lip. “You think she’s being protected by a bunch of San Palomino thugs? The Royal Guard gets wind of this and they’ll comb over every inch and every lead to hunt us down and turn us into statues. Get that dirt off your breastplate, now!”
The small group started picking up anything left on the ground and cleaning themselves off, Swordrunner included. Every nook and cranny of his armor was washed over with his magic, picking up the most minute traces and removing them, even in the large gem core that gave him his shield.
It wasn’t until he progressed to his boots that he’d realized that none of his “comrades” were moving. Instead, they are all staring at him, or rather, something behind him.
Silver-colored steel swung through the air like the scythe of death itself. Arcs of magic and fire ripped the town’s quiet asunder as Swordrunner’s blade raced to his enemy. All the might and fury he could bring to the ambush behind him, though, was hushed like an infant as he struck a barrier that may as well have been a mountain.
There, before him, stood the Princess of the Night herself, as tall as Celestia and as black as the void. This was not the Luna in the newspapers that ridiculed her or her sister’s weakness. It was something more, something stronger, older, and vastly more terrifying.
He furrowed his brow and took a step back.
Panicked, stomping, galloping hooves exploded in a frenzy behind them as his team ran for their very lives.
Swordrunner rolled his eyes. “Idiots.”
As certain as the cycle of day and night, several muffled, blunt impacts reached his ears as they rounded the corner.
He spread out his hind legs into a defensive position and backed away from the alicorn, never once letting her leave his sight. “That was just to scare them into the trap, wasn’t it? Maybe it’s true, then. About you alicorns being weaker than you look.”
The Nightmare smiled and spread her wings. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Trap or no, I am more than a match for a foal such as yourself. Still, it would appear there is some, tiny, infinitesimal iota of wisdom and experience in you. I am… happy that you stayed. It will give us a chance to talk.”
Swordrunner swallowed. There was something there, something about her voice. He couldn’t put a hoof on it, but it still sent a chill down his sweat-drenched spine. “Definitely not an awkward little princess… I didn’t realize the Nightmare was back.”
The laughter from the alicorn sent thunder and lightning crackling through the sky, and her smile felt like it had frozen the alleyway better than any blizzard could ever hope. “Oh, who said I ever left? Not that it matters what title you give me; I’ve acquired so many these past millennia. No, what matters right now is: You’ve been offered a reward to harm somepony dear to me, and I intend to find out who’s behind it.”
Swordrunner’s eyes went wide. We weren’t sold out to the Royal Guard! We were sold out to the Night Guard! He turned slowly, blade at the ready as he checked behind him.
There was no alley. There was no town or sky. Behind him was a lone dumpster and the corner of the bakery, and behind that, there was naught but darkness.
“Now then,” Nightmare said, one corner of her mouth stretching into a smile. “Come, tell me who is paying you to hurt my Twilight.”
Damn, can’t fight her, can’t run, what am I—? Ice and pain shot up his hind leg, and he slashed behind him, cutting a tendril of a shadow creeping up his fetlock. Still the blackness advanced, reaching up, clawing, grabbing at him as he slashed and retreated from something that wasn’t there, that couldn’t be there.
His flank ran into something.
He turned around.
There was the Alicorn of the Night, ethereal mane whipping around him like a hurricane and stretching out into the infinite void.
“You, my little pony…”
Her icy, piercing eyes stared through him, a current of power and grace washing past his mental defenses like a tide. There was nothing but those eyes…
“You are going to tell me everything.”
His sword dropped from his grasp, falling into nothingness.
Stars… Stars! They’re so… beautiful…
It will be interesting to here more about the why of this...
Normally I'm not really fond of chapters that follow minor characters up until they run into one of the protagonists (who inevitably ruins their day,) but you kept it short and to the point, so I can't really complain. Normally it's also a bad idea to go for ominous foreshadowing before you have the reader's attention/interest/suspension of disbelief, but "okay guys, we're gonna KILL TWILIGHT SPARKLE" is blunt enough to avoid that, so I can't complain about that either!
So, good job! Keep on not screwing up—that's how it works
Looks pretty good so far, and anypony trying to kill my had better be ready to eat my justice!
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
Looks like I'll be getting to this sooner than expected. The prologue is short and sweet, and it hooks my interests, just the way it should. So, I'm moving on while the beat is strong!
You mention something called SALT in your authors noted. What is that?
The prologue was enough for me to decide that I shall be favoriting this one!
Nightmare Moon back?
And she's a goodpony now?
Must read on lol
*Nightmare Moon Appears*
Well... Shit...
*NMM mentions that Twilight is dear to her*
I... You... She... What?
now all we need is some Deadspace-type Necromorphs and it'll be a great nightmare night story
NNM goody now?
Attempting to kill a god-like being - rather bad for your health. Attempting to kill those a god-like being cares for - _very_ bad for your health.
Doing both in the space of a few minutes? I suggest removing yourself from the equation before said deity starts getting .... _creative_.
ThoughAw I already read this thought I found another Ali story. Maybe ill just reread
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
I used Gizoogle on this! somebody save my soul!
2142667
The stars was so dope.....
And so the journey begins. Both for me and the story itself. I have heard nothing but good about this story, so lets hope I am not disappointed later on. So far, so ominous! I always enjoyed this story trick in getting people into the story. It is oh so fulfilling.
Am I the only one who suspects that Luna's Night Guard may be... indoctrinated... in some fashion? At least some of them... A Charm/Compulsion spell could turn anyone into a loyal guardian, and it seems Luna has at least some amount of respect for Swordrunner's skills/poise. Easier to simply convert your opponent's top agents than recruit your own. I doubt this is the last we'll see of him.
2994190 somebody said the same thing in the latest chapter.
Edit: here's the entry: 3554069
*Leans back*
Man, what a start! This caught my attention already.
Your dialogue felt a bit weak. For example, is
really a smart thing to say to a creature with enough power to freeze the very moon in place? I understand dumb characters, but up until this point you've made this character seems moderately clever. Aside from that, torture. Such is mind-breakingly painful. There's no way a lie like that can even appear credible. And remember who he's talking to, evil, eternal night, mwahahaha ruler of the night. What's to say Nightmare Moon wouldn't take that lie as a challenge?
1713965 Luna and NMM are one and the same. Different personalities of the same pony. It makes sense that if someone angered Luna enough she'd paritially resurrect NMM to trulu brign fear to those that would harm her friends. It's the whole batman mentaility. Depsite his looks Batman is a good guy and uses his imaged to spread fear to those who do evil. Luna is doing the same.
TO author. using this route is freaking awesome.
i just saw this on the front page clicked it cause i was bored and now i am already entertained especially when he found out who he was sold out too and all i can say about that is *Le FUCKED*
How have I not seen this gem 'ere this day?
A folly I will quickly rectify.
Your glorious chapters, I shall survey!
No, especially heroes have enemies. Bad guys really don't like it when their plans are foiled.
5061832 She is the night.
5061832 No offense but a spell check is in order.
I love Luna kicking butt.
5708754 well really the only enemys she has foiled in the show are trixie (resolved) NMM(reformed) discord(reformed) sombra (dead) chrysalis (MIA but she would use her hive not mercs)
No if anything the people that would stoop to this would be nobles who feel she has slighted them
First chapter and I am very interested, lets see more.
Yeah, the old version sucked (no offense)
ok lets read through what we have so far for the........im going to say 20th time i like going back every 4 moths or so and re reading what we have so far and with the hope of an update tomorrow soe time now sounds like a perfect time to re read it
>> reads first chapter
>> sees Luna royally kicking ass
>> dis gun be good.gif
First chapter in and I'm already confused, I'm loving this!
This is coming from the Nightmare.
The Nightmare . . . who apparently cares about Twilight for some reason?
. . .
Now this seems to be interesting.
im back ....... huh 8 weeks welp down the rabbit hole i go again although i can probably recite this word for word now
You have my attention!
Once I saw the title page you got my attention
and now thanks to imgur all your fancy chapter starts are ruined
6835501 WELCOME THIS DRUG WILL CONSUME YOU AND WAITING FOR CHAPTERS HAS THE WORST WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS IL SEE YOU AFTER ABOUT 20 REREADS PEACE OUT IM OFF TO RE READ FOR THE 30TH TIME
6921632
Can't... Stop... Re-... Rereading!
Starting a re-read. It's been a while and this fic deserves it. Just a heads up, the headers are broken
Sixth re-read this year... I'm hopeless.
Besides, all the other stories like this aren't really all that worth reading. The only one I can think of that rivals the number of re-reads by me is Of The Hive by A Law Abiding Pony.
my second read through. i find myself just as pants crappingly terrified of your luna as ever. knowing what happens in this actually makes the story better. you fine author are quite the Maestro of words unlike myself. now on wards into a 12 hour marathon of this story
this is what, the 5th? maybe 6th time i have started rereading this buckin glorious story just for the new chapter that came out? oh well not that i have any issue with a reason to read this glorious masterpiece all over again! Buck yeah this story is amazing!
Lets Do This!
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pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5169-twi-nosleep.png
EDIT: WHOO HOO! Onto the
seventh8th reread, anybody with me?reply or like if u want 2, but you dont have to, i just ya'know wanna see how many others are rereading, so only if you want 2
The image has expired! The horror!
Also, why is everybody rereading? rip.
7848946 If you looked at CV's blog, you would know that life is being a [REDACTED] to him right now. As in, seriously, go look. We've got cancer recovery, arthritis, friends dying... is it any wonder that he's taking a while?
7860031
Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuze me for not reading blogs from an author on a story I was 3 chapters into!
But seriously, I took a look, it makes sense. That's a lot of misfortune.
Edit: holy shit why did I stop 3 chapters in?? Fucking hell this is good shit
7485788
I've had my fair share of rereads for 'Of the Hive.' As for this one, I've only read through once but that's about to change today. So begins another binge of ponywords.
7810388
Lost count, but I think I just started my fifth reread today.
Decided to read this after it was recommended to me by a friend. The prologue seems pretty good.
Bird Jesus...we all know she's worth at least 300m bits, at the least. 50mil for each of her friends whom with inexorably get in the way.
Whoopsio, sphaghettio. You're about to become a limp noodle, bromango