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  • E That Rainbow Mane

    Pre-S1, Pinkie moves away from the rock farm to Ponyville and meets the mane six (sans Twilight).
    15,272 words · 397 views  ·  12  ·  0
  • E Just an Hour to Canterlot

    Twilight, Ditzy Doo, and Golden Harvest deliver a package to Canterlot during a blizzard.
    4,296 words · 657 views  ·  9  ·  1

Blog Posts3

  • 108w, 1h
    So, about that fic...

    As you can probably see, I went and updated That Rainbow Mane with a third chapter. Yes, I'm still writing it. Yes, it did take me three months to write one chapter. My apologies for that, but it's a slow burn through this one for some raisin. Anyhow, with that out of the way...

    Minor issue I had with uploading it! Seems that the "Import from Google Docs" function might be messed up. When I used it, the imported text had massive gaps in several places, with the text that would be there mysteriously absent. Anyone have an idea why that might be? Is there a place where I should report that as a bug?

    EDIT: Found a similarly large gap in the second chapter. If anyone was wondering why Applejack musing about her own cutie mark story suddenly cut to Rainbow Dash... well, now you know. I fixed it, though.

    0 comments · 81 views
  • 126w, 16h
    Never make promises! (Writer's Block and Other Stuff)

    This is mostly just an apology to anyone who read the previous blog post when I said I'd have the next part done at the end of the week. Got hit with a sudden case of Writer's Block and just couldn't move forward with a scene. Right at the end of the fic, too! Nasty stuff, that.

    Since then I've had a lot of crap on my mind—I moderate for Ponychan and there's been a lot of turbulence lately—distracting me from being able to write. Actually getting the last bits of the story together was something done just a few days ago, and the finished version is effectively a rough draft.

    As for part three, all it is right now are ideas for scenes and a goal for the end of the chapter. So promising that it'd be finished in a week is something I shouldn't do. I'll finish it as well and quickly as I reasonably can, but I don't have a set timetable for it. So... Soon™!

    0 comments · 67 views
  • 131w, 3h
    What's a Blog? (That Rainbow Mane Progress, some history)

    So, uh, I have no idea how this works! Testing, testing, one two one two three four one two! Right-o. Just seeing how this blog function thingy works, really.

    Been working on That Rainbow Mane for pretty much all of May now. Got the inspiration to write it while looking up PMVs and coming across a particular Dashie Pie PMV, set to the song "All The Things She Said". For those who haven't seen it, go do so now. I'll provide a link at the bottom of this blogpost thingy if you need it. Not going to lie, watching that video really does make me cry. Do that a lot these days, it seems. Last time I cried this much was when seeing Smile, Smile, Smile in motion for the first time. Anyways, the PMV in question brought my thoughts on the two characters (Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie) to the front of my mind, and gave me the idea to write about how the two of them met prior to the show.

    For those who've seen Griffon the Brush-Off, Dash doesn't seem all that fond of Pinkie at first, and it's a genuine surprise to her that the pink-maned mare shared any interests with her at all. In her own words: "You're not as annoying as I thought". That's something I've needed to keep in mind while writing; That whatever pre-S1 history they have, it left Dash with the impression that Pinkie is annoying, and isn't somepony she'd want to hang around with.

    It's different for Pinkie, though. She obviously had some greater interest in Rainbow Dash. That's not just the shipper in me talking; Dragon Rage is from /show/. Say what you will about that place and "negativity", but I went there because I loved analyzing and critiquing the show's writing. Season One as a whole had very frequent Dash+Pinkie moments, from Griffon the Brush-Off starring the two of them, to the two of them opening the "tree" scene in Over a Barrel, to one of my most loved scenes in the entire show: Pinkie's cutiemark story. It doesn't take shipping goggles to see just how much an impact the first Sonic Rainboom had on Pinkie's life. Moreso than the rest of the mane six, it radically altered her perspective and gave her the most persistent motivation in her character for the rest of the show: The desire to spread happiness to everypony she could. Random tangent: A Friend In Deed is my favorite episode in the entire show and Smile, Smile, Smile is my favorite song. No surprise why, yeah?

    Getting derailed there, so I'll cut to the point: Pinkie obviously loves Rainbow Dash in the show. Canonically, it's as a friend, the same as the rest of the mane six. Beyond canon, that can mean anything provided the writing behind it is good. Does she want to be more than friends? It's possible. Unlikely to be touched upon in canon, unfortunately, but that's fine by me. So my goal with That Rainbow Mane, as far as writing Pinkie is concerned, is to showcase just how powerful an impact Dash has made on her life, and to show just how strongly she feels about somepony who is in all likelihood a complete stranger to her, just because it reminds her of the first Sonic Rainboom.

    As far as progress on the fic is concerned, Part Two is roughly 2,200 or so words in, about halfway finished ideally. There'll likely be a Part Tres as well, though it'll definitely be shorter than the others. Would post a teaser but I'd probably pick a misleading bit and let's be honest: The fic's title and summary are screwy enough as it is. I like 'em that way, though I apologize to anyone who expected a shipfic. I'm bound by canon here since it's a prequel.

    Anyways, this has gone on for a bit too long now, so I'm gonna close it out. Thanks for reading my stories. Hope folks are enjoyin' 'em. Will probably blogpost again sometime about some of my older fics if I feel like it.

    ~Dragon Rage

    Rainbow Dash x Pinkie Pie | All The Things She Said | SonicdaShapeshifter

    0 comments · 71 views
  • ...
 41
 1,724

The end of every story is always a happy one. Whatever trouble has befallen the mane six is cleared up. Their friendship is only strengthened by their conflicts, and by the roll of the credits, there are no hard feelings. But sometimes that isn't true. Sometimes nothing is resolved, nothing is learned.

Following the events of The Mysterious Mare Do Well, Rainbow Dash finds her own masked feelings stopping her from learning her lesson. Her actions in the past week carry consequences, and soon she finds herself fleeing Ponyville to get away from her troubles. She seeks the counsel of Celestia and Luna themselves, the co-rulers of Equestria, to help ease her pain.

Not long afterwards, Ponyville is attacked by a mysterious new villain. Armed with a powerful trinket granting her the abilities of a unicorn, the white-haired pegasus known only as "Ultramare" has made it her goal to personally see the town in flames.

First Published
7th Dec 2011
Last Modified
10th Feb 2012

I really don't know what to say, I never saw that episode so I can't really judge on how Dash would act. But still you did a great job at writing this story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

In the Name of Her Serene Majesty.

Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon

I kinda figured... But wow. That was a good read. Hope to see more from you soon!

I never did look at that episode, but I did know what happen from the reactions post. Still, this is a great storyline idea as it truly focuses on the one thing that this episode lacked....and that was :rainbowkiss:own feelings about the entire situation.

I mean, while Rainbow Dash maybe a bit of a jerk, she does have feelings too and for her to be embrassed by her friends like that in front of the entire town truly must of hurt her alot inside.  We may not have seen it in the show, but you can't help but wonder... am I right ?:rainbowhuh:

Still I encourage you upon such good work and keep it up as this tale reaches its end.

Really liked the story and all, but one thing confuses me:

SPOILER WARNING

In the final part, at the end, it says Dash "laid down and found peace with herself"...does that mean she died or something? That's what it sounds like...:fluttercry:

Though if it's just her coming back to normal, that's good. :pinkiehappy:

I've got a tip for you. When you have more than one character's dialog in one paragraph, it makes it difficult to keep track of who is talking. If someone says something, then someone else speaks, you should start a new paragraph, even if it means having single-sentence paragraphs.

>>55508

:fluttershyouch:

Oh no no no, Dash is sleeping at the end. Should probably have made that clearer.

>>55691

Was a bit skeptical about that, but I went over a few of my paragraphs and gave them that treatment in Notepad to see what it was like. Duly noted, I'll try not to make this mistake again in the future.

>>56132

Aaaand reformatting is finished. Thank you, Jphyper.

The edited version looks great. Very easy to get absorbed in. Excellent work, my friend! :twilightsmile:

Well, it took me a while to get through it because of distractions, but here we go! Top of the matter, I enjoyed reading, and that's the prime directive. Especially since I don't read fics, this being 1 of a grand total of 3 now. But I also dislike just leaving a "hey I liked it, thanks", so I'll give some critique/review. Dunno if you've probably had your fill or not, but I'll do it anyways.

Characterization, 8/10, very strong in characterizing Dash and the central issue. Could perhaps have used more thought process or inner monologue, but then again it might have hammered the point too hard.

Atmosphere, 7/10, there was enough descriptors and background to give me a decent 'feel' for it, and obviously every referenced area brings easily to mind places we have well visualized in our heads, but it could have used a bit more - not necessarily overt descriptions, but things like how the character is affected by it, perceptions, etc.

Pacing 7/10, maybe just me being drawn away by work a few times, but it moved at different speeds with just a touch too little transition between rhythms.

Mechanics: 8/10, very few issues or distractions for the reader of a mechanical nature, perhaps paragraph indentation but I honestly didn't even notice it at first.

Story - conception, 8/10, very smart story, not only a fun thing to think about (any given character's flaws or weaknesses drawing them into this kind of state) but the arc of its resolution was thematic to the show as well.

Story - execution, 7/10, the intro-setup-conflict-climax-resolution dynamic was in place, and flowed well from one set-piece to another; there were a few things I didn't grasp. The necessity of the Mare-Do-Well gambit seemed out of place slightly, knowing that she already knew it was them. Was it so that she wouldn't know which one was which? And so easily discarded. I don't know what else could have been used as an impetus for the resolution, but something else with more oomph would put it over the top as a great story.

- In summation, 7.5/10:

Well conceived, thematic enough to the show, but differing sufficiently for the more serious tone without being over-the-top. Aside from different climax possibilites, few distracting issues of mechanics, strong central character work, worthwhile idea and satisfying resolution, with minor issues of background and feel.

:ajsmug:

loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:loved it :pinkiehappy:

I really like these kinds of stories, that acknowledge how broken the ending to "The Mysterious-Mare-Do-Well" was.

Thank you.

I, too, like how this fic points out how broken and... stupid... the ending to that episode was, but at the same time... did Dash just HAVE to be made a villain with that Ultramare persona getting out of control?  I mean... really?  I mean, sure, if we went with the 'talk out your problems' thing, we wouldn't have an interesting story, but... I'm conflicted on this one.

I'm not sure what you're getting at. The way the story was set up had to follow along with how the episode ended: Rainbow Dash just accepting the (supposed) abuse her friends had heaped on her without complaint, but at the same time without actually demonstrating that she'd actually learned anything from it.

I could probably have written it so Dash had an epiphany and talked to her friends from the start, but that would be a very short fic, kinda boring to read, and... to be honest, would have crossed the line for me. I had no intention of simply setting out to write a fanfic to "fix" the episode. My goal was to write an interesting story based on an idea: "Could this be made into a supervillain's origin story?", while also building off of a preexisting and related story. I'd planned on doing the same for The Last Roundup (the idea of Rarity and Pinkie getting completely forgotten never sat well with me), but couldn't figure an interesting idea for it.

Anyways, Rainbow Dash becoming the villain wasn't just mandatory, it was what I sought to write in the first place. She needed to be sympathetic to boot, which is what set me to write Ultramare the way I did.

How long is she in prison?

>>1609585

I have no idea. Never actually worked that out, but it'd probably be a few months or so.

Dash is Ultramare. Calling it. Calling it. The fic is complete, so this may not count, but I'm calling it.

Before I read this story. I just want to know if this is a MLP adaptation of Ultraman?

Boo.  This sucks.  Black Kyurem was going to favorite this, but found the ending just too unlikeable.  Thanks a lot.  So much for "not too late".  Not too late, my ass.

>>4095629 You didn't like ending too?

>>4118144 You didn't either?  There, now you can say "Sister Dash" was not all that bad... not compared to this.

>>4120716  even if that Fic  was made out of anger it provided a little more closure then this one.

>>4122286  Hell I would rather have Rainbow Do community service in ponyville to earn there trust instead of being in prison but it is what it is.

>>4231645 Starting to wonder if anyone actually cares how much humiliation Rainbow Dash had to endure.

>>4232051 hmmm not many   there have been a Few fics  That deal with the issue

like that comic Alone

and What's Eating Rainbow Dash? ( I found out  the Original Ending to that Fic  was much darker by having RD doing suicide)

And  The Price of Loyalty  which I will not post a link here.

>>4232709 Ouch.

And... why is that?

>>4234693 beats me and I have a Felling it was changed to be less depressing.

>>4234796 And... as for "The Price of Loyalty"?  No link... because?

>>4234881 This isn't about "Sister Dash", isn't it?  Black Kyurem can still look at fanfics that handled Mare-Do-Well better than "Sister Dash", but that Mare-Do-Well episode just sucked balls.

>>4095629

The epilogue's title is in reference to Dash's own personal redemption, not how society sees her. And as far as prison time being too harsh a sentence, consider the following: By the end of the story Dash has stolen a powerful and dangerous magical artifact, caused onscreen and offscreen property damage, deliberately interfered with Ponyville's weather in a way that was seriously endangering the townsfolk's lives, assaulted and hospitalized (however briefly) multiple ponies, and capped off all of this with multiple accounts of attempted homicide.

As far as I'm concerned, her feelings while committing the aforementioned crimes and her personal redemption at the end of the story don't excuse the things she did. That was the entire point of the story: That you have to take responsibility for your actions and the consequences they bring, even if they make you unhappy.

If that does not satisfy you, that's okay. A lot of people weren't satisfied with the episode this fic is a sequel to, as evidenced by the sheer number of fics it spawned attempting to "fix" the errors they'd seen in it. It's only natural that people would take exception to any given number of those "fixes".

Finally read it. Gosh it feels good to fulfill an old promise. It's not bad, really. I mean it clearly needs editing, and the pacing could do with a little clean up (not to mention you've got the worst case of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome I've ever seen), but barring all of that I really enjoyed the read. :pinkiesmile:

My only real qualm is that you totally passed up the opportunity to show Luna relating to Dash over the comon ground they now share. I would have liked that.

>>4571333

Yeah, in hindsight all the lavender unicorn stuff is just... wow, how did that slip by me the first and second time through this story? I'd go back and fix it all, but I haven't felt up to touching ponyfic stuff in a long time.

That was actually what I was trying to go for with Luna's visit to Dash in her cell, but I could've done more to make it work, yeah. Sorry about that.

>>4057373

Figured I should've answered this sooner, but eh. No, this is not an adaptation of Ultraman in any way. The name "Ultramare" was actually in reference to a DC Universe villain named Ultraman. Ultraman there is an evil alternate universe version of Superman. Ultramare in particular is closer to the Batman Beyond movie's version of The Joker, though. I was a DCAU fan before I was a pony fan, eheh.

Good fic, just one question. Uh, Rainbow Dash isn't sentenced to life in prison, is she? I ask because I didn't notice you give any specific time, and the mention that her friends will only be visiting her every two weeks makes it seem like she's going to be in there for a long time. And I mean, I totally get the reason for jail time after everything she did, but... life in prison seems kind of harsh... :pinkiesad2: :fluttershysad:

>>4778101

The length of her sentence was left out intentionally, as I couldn't think of an appropriate amount of time. Though, given how light the setting can be, I wouldn't put it at more than a few months.

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