What an EXCELLENT story! Not much to stay, as this incredible piece of literature speaks for itself, but...

Here, have a raving Maurice!

Image: http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/208/6/1/slow_down_maurice__by_mandella644-d58tnwo.gif

So far after reading the first chapter the only thing that I found wrong was the ICU part, since it's a baby it should by the NICU. Other than that seems like a good story.

I punched me playfully in the foreleg May want to correct that. No offense.

>>980106980106

Thanks, I'm only human.

Wow, great story so far! Thanks for the read, hoping to see more!

>>980118980118 Ponify freaking rocks! 'Thanks, I'm only pony.'

*Clears throat* Anyway, very good so far! Likes and favs for you good sir!

This story RULES! I'm getting some major Avatar the Last Air Bender vibes too!

Dammit, after Bubbles, I promised myself I wouldn't let another fic make me cry.

...

You sir, are a monster, for bringing me these...DAMNED...manly tears...

I love the story so far. Please for the love of Celestia don't ever stop writing. Everything is perfect. I love how it's written how Dashie would tell a story. And I love pony-origins.

This is great. Thank you for this.

I like this.

MOAR.

Great story! This is awesome :) Liking and Faving :D

AMAZING!!!!

Can't wait to see the themes come into full effect too.

For a 'minimalist' piece, it is quite gripping. I hope to see more soon. Receive my track and my upvote.

I love this story but there's a cliff hanger. But I expect when they go back to visit their dad, they'll find out he's passed away or something. Keep making it cause this story was too good. Machen Sie mehr!

MOAR

“I know, honey, but we’ve got our HANDS full with our own daughter as it is. We can’t just take him in…”

EPIC

>>982277982277  i think he meant that as an expression.

The not-quite-canon notion that pegasi are not generally inclined to discuss their pasts is always worth challenging, but getting the tone correct is essential.  So far, you're pretty much spot on: I haven't seen anything yet that made me think "That doesn't sound like Dash."   I'll stay with this as long as it runs.

Dang, I waited all day and night for a new chapter and I get nothing! It's 5:50 AM here! More!

>>986125986125

I'm trying, but I've been really busy with Drum Captain-ing the last few days, and haven't gotten around to writing. I'm going to sit myself down and try to produce a new chapter within the weekend, considering drumline camp starts on monday, and I'm basically screwed from then on.

>>980562980562

"For the last time." those words brought shock to my body.

i cried too.

Great Story, I can really feel for Rainbow Dash and Aero. I know how she feels personally I will definitely be reading this to the end.

well whenever its convienant to you... MOAR! MOAR! MOAR! MOAR!   lol

>>980562980562

>>988898988898

Thanks, I'll take your tears and put them in my jar, and when I get a few more, I'll bathe in the emotion of my readers. I'm just wierd like that.

>>989627989627 Sounds kinky.

But seriously, you better update the hell out of this. I already see this becoming a fast favorite of mine.

>>990977990977

I'm having a really hard time getting through the next chapter, I want this to be the best story I can make it, so don't be too offended if it takes a while for the next update. This chapter is going painfully slow.

Dangit... This is my favourite story and STILL no chapter 6. I'll wait.

>>10040851004085

I'm going to release chapter 6 and seven together. I'll finish it tonight, most likely. I've been having problems with my ability, read this blog post I hope that when I begin writing today, this will all be a thing of the past.

This goes epicly when listening to HIgurashi no Naku Koro Ni Kai Openings!!

Sorry bout this, but I have to.

"I started crying to."

BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLB.

Supposed to be too. In the 2nd chapter. Near the end. Sorry bout this. Grammar nazi.

>>10067051006705

Well, I've always needed a good editor.

D:

I... don't....know what to say. This.......just........Never stop writing Chrome, never.

>>10067101006710 I'm your editor.

Oh god sorry, I'm actually somepony else's editor, I got mixed up.

Hmm... one thing I noticed in that chapter, aurora sunset... aurora as a first name, something entailing the movement of the celestial bodies for a last name, in a flight school... reference to aurora dawn of rainbow factory fame?

Ugh. This story is too good for only one chapter.

>>10090211009021 I'll never tell! But, yeah... he's a nice guy, and one of my favorite writers.

>>10099501009950 Chill out, dude! A guy can only work so fast! I absolutely love your enthusiasm, but there is a speed I have to work at. If you want updates from me, I suggest following me so you can get access to my blog. It would be greatly appriciated!

>>10088561008856 hey man, it would be greatly appriciated if you could be mine too. Not saying you have to or anything, but I need one consistent reader to look over my stories. You don't know how much it would mean to me for somebody to do that for me!

Moar moar moar dear god moar.

>>10138431013843 I got mixed up with the author of "Rainbow Dash Gets a D-". I'm HER editor.

"About 20% of you will be involved with some sort of weather control"

Did anyone else get that?

wow chrome big thanks for this awesome story though i didn't like the kiss at the end

added to favs, i'm looking forward to reading more of your awesome storys

Also I've got a question:

Where did you get the cover of this story from? I'm really fan of this black and white pony pictures.

please. continue. this story. thank you

>>10167651016765

I made it using a vector and filters on GIMP. Feel free to use it.

thanks

Very promising piece here. Consider me interested.

>>982277982277hey i read a story where octavia and a oc had bacon for breakfast so LOL!

>>10327591032759

I was actually thinking about writing a dark story about a pony who becomes obsessed with bacon, and decides that pigs are not the only suppliers of tasty back meat.

You have almost brought me to tears 5 times now in one story, you're really good at this.

I am really looking forward to the next chapter.

>>10067101006710HEY i ya need a editor im up for hire but all the same awesome story

Image: http://www.google.com.au/imgres?q=manly+tears+have+been+shed&num=10&hl=en&biw=1022&bih=664&tbm=isch&tbnid=cVrFmWnMNNPo3M:&imgrefurl=http://ouja.wordpress.com/2010/07/08/manly-tears/&docid=hFXVmahUoVpZwM&imgurl=http://ouja.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/mot1.jpg&w=554&h=480&ei=WQweUJ6bA-2TiQfSh4H4DQ&zoom=1

>>10330851033085

Definitely, I require that you follow me,and I will give you access to all of my stories in advance, so long as you proofread for errors and give me plot feedback, and be as specific and brutal as you wish.

>>10330981033098already followed you by the 4th chapter teehee still im up for it

Finally got the time to read this chapter, and all I can say is...

Holy. Shitsicle.

I was not expecting that ending. I'll admit, in the beginning of the story, I wanted Dashie and Aero to get together, but over time he was more of her brother in my mind.

But then, I always had the thought that he wasn't.

I did read that correctly, right?

*Goes back and checks*

Eeyup. He kissed her.

All I can say is, holy shit.

I know first hand that someone seen as almost a sister and best friend can turn into romantic interest.

...

And then it bites me in the ass.

Why am I not following you yet? I thought I hit that button a long time ago.

Ah well, I'll do it now.

I have this strange feeling that something bad will happen to Aero Wing.

We did everything together.

Past tense? He's dead. He's going to die. Oh damn.

The day the thunderstorm came.

Yeah. Someone's going to die, either Aero or mom.

For the last time.

FFFFOh god. Rainbow's mom is dead. That's not good! Downward spiral incoming!

That day, and the day that came afterward, changed me for the worse.

Downward spiral confirmed! Oh Jesus Christ, this is going to be bad for everyone involved. Something will come up with Aero, I know it!

I started getting in a lot more trouble.

She's going to go to jail or something. Maybe some prank has serious consequences. Either way, seriously bad things are going to happen.

Valiantwing was starting to spend a lot more time in his room when he would come home.

Alcoholism?

"I’m sending you two to Cloudsdale. You will be spending four years going through the Cloudsdale Flight School. I want you two to come home for the winter holidays, and during the spring. Once this school year ends, I will fly you to Cloudsdale.”

Oh. Not as serious as I thought, but still bad. This sounded sort of robotic in my head, but that might be your intention since it certainly wouldn't be easy for him to say that.

Yet another great chapter. Okay, this story has me hooked now.

“So… Awesome.”

I see what you did there.

“Hey, no worries, I bet we’ll have at least one class together!”

This means you won't. Congratulations Aero, now all you have to do is say "What could go wrong?"

“Keep making fun of her and find out!” He took another step forward, and pedaled his forelegs in the air, nickering loudly.

This is exactly what Rainbow says to them when standing up for Fluttershy. I guess she learns that from Aero?

It was the mark of the Storm Scouts.

I did not see that coming!  So that's why he was sad...

"N-no…” He locked his lips with mine, and before I could object, he flew off with Smokeshade. Fear spread throughout every limb in my body.

Wait whoa! I did NOT see that coming! This will end badly though, for both of them. It has to. Something will go wrong eventually. After all, the intro implies that pretty bad shit goes down.

This was a wonderful chapter. You did a great job at setting up those surprises. Dash's early relationship (or rather, lack thereof) with Fluttershy is pretty interesting too. Avoiding the 'instant friends' thing is a nice change of pace from other stories.

>>10425961042596

holy crap... five notifications from one guy eh, at least you liked it!

>>10428441042844

Meh, I comment on chapters as I go. It's something I do sometimes.

I'm not sure if reading this or not... I'm that kind of guy who cries on almost everything with a "SAD" tag on it... But the comments are making this story interesting...

Still, i'm not sure if read this or not...

That description has thoroughly grabbed my attention. I'll definitely be reading this.

I just, the feels man. The feels

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_gasp.png

Go on...

Gawd, y u make Rainbow cry?

must see more...

I'm surprised I didn't get teared up to this. I'm just sitting here, mouth wide open, shocked.

GOD DAMN YOU! N-next chapter

k, done reading truly sad fic that makes me shed womanly tears.

Time to kill some zombies.

Definitely tracking this story. This is really, really good. I love the idea of this story, the whole fillyhood of Rainbow Dash.

Keep up the amazing work!

great chapter, two minor mistakes i noticed: She brushed my main softly.-should be mane not main; and: “Miss Rainbow Dash, have you seen Miss Fluttershy lately? She is your roommate, correct?” I nod.- should be I nodded. keep up the great work

Well nodded is a past tense, nod is a present tense. I have a feeling this story is in present tense. Ohhh right it is in the past. Ah nevermind I don't get it.

>>10798811079881 it's not, and he's right. I didn't have time to fix it this morning.

Hmm alright fine.

finally read the new chapter

great work, I thought the story was over but you still continued!

MOAR

QUESTION.

In the end of the last chapter, I do believe Aero kissed Dashie. Yet, in this chapter, it's like that never happened.

Maybe I'm just reading chapter 5 wrong somehow. I dunno.

I bet you've got something for this planned though.

So keep up that good work.

Didn't catch up to this story until now. I'm disappointed that you didn't take my advice regarding the storm scout cutie mark, but, oh well. Good luck, anyway

Fantastic story   fav and a watch!

>>11212921121292

some artistic licence was taken. Don't kill me

>>11058361105836

Well the story does have a romance tag...

We shall see soon

>>11330161133016 I hope to Celestia so! Part of the reason I started reading this was the Romance tag. I'm a sucker for Romance

>>11332881133288

Hell, I didn't even notice the romance tag at first and this story has been crying in a corner in my read later list of 130 stories.

I'm so glad that I decided to give it some attention and I do like Romance too

>>11333321133332 I normally don't even read incompletes. But this one is just...Amazing...

HURRY UP, CHROME!

>>11333481133348

>>11333321133332

Oh you guys! I've got a day off in two days. I'll begin working on part two of the story that day, as there will be a big break in time between these two chapters. I think it will be time to move on and make it into a part 2. Either way, a big event is about to come.

>>11333641133364

Wooo!

>>11333641133364 BIG EVENTS WOOOOOOOOOOO!

I have never been more pumped for a story, to be honest. It's just...great. Simply great.

>>11333881133388

>>11333921133392

Thing is, I lied... two more chapters until part two. Should have the first one done by the end of the day. I need encouragement, I keep getting distracted.

YES! New chapter!

OH GOD DAMN CLIFFHANGERS

Edit: Gratz on being featured!

Poor Rainbow. I can tell that by her fillyhood that she obviously acts tough to hide her pain. If she was real, I'd hug her so hard, her eyes would bulge out.

whomever had the guts to dislike it and break my streak.

I commend you.

Not afraid to take me down a notch.

Awesome chapter of an awesome story. Keep this great work!!

Also I've got a question:

There was a romance tag on the story while it only had 5 chapters (and it was shown as completed bur then you released a new chapter and it changed..) what was meant with this romance tag? The love between Rainbow Dash's parents or the kiss at the end of chapter 5?

>>11644701164470

I put it on the story with the intention of putting more romance later on in the story. It won't be a romance heavy story. It's more of a tragedy. But yes, there will be some romance a little farther along.

>>11644801164480

Thanks for the fast reply!

I hope you won't focus too much on this romance thing as I don't like shipping in My Little Pony...

well l guess it's part of growing up so RD has to find her first love :D

>>11641431164143

But you almost got a 100 like streak!

Oh well, you can still go for a 100:1 like to dislike ratio.

>>11634221163422

You.....you lied!?!

Disliked, Unsubscribed, reported for terrorism

But, wooo all the same.

Eh, I'll give you the centennial like.

Also: Storm of the decade would be more fitting, no? Century implies once every hundred years...

>>11644801164480 I clicked on this story because of romance tag...

Oh my Celestia I've loved this story ever since it was posted. I neverr want it to end.

I really love the build up that's happening so far, I just wonder where it's all leading to...

>>11641431164143 trolls... well at least you got to 100 before you got disliked.  I got 2 early dislikes but now I'm 34:1.

>>11663131166313

I have a reason behind the naming. It will be revealed in part two

>>11679321167932 Roger. Keep on keeping on.