What Am I?
Chapter 8: What Am I?
The Moon Princess stood in the empty throne room as if she were a statue, her eyes locked on the place where the other Alicorns had been. Her mind was torn with denial, unable to believe what had just happened. Who was he? There was no possible person that made any sense. He couldn't have been anyone she knew.
She was torn from her current train of thought as another consideration came to mind, causing her to pale considerably, before leaving the room.
Meanwhile, in Luna's room...
'...It was a tragic day for Equestria, when the Moon Princess could no longer stand the distrust she felt from the common ponies and nobles, or the love they showered the Sun Princess with. Over time, the pain along with her growing jealousy of her sister soon grew into an unending madness, filling her with dark powers that had been locked within. It was the day Princess Luna became the dark Alicorn known as Nightmare Moon, and sought to bring about an eternal night.
But the day only got worse, as Nightmare Moon found a willing ally in the form of a young Unicorn who desired immortality and would pay any price for it. At the cost of her own sanity, her body became that of an Alicorn's, and she was soon just as mad with power as the Queen of Nightmares, doomed to serve her as if she were a slave. Equestria soon learned to call her Twilight Despair, as she burned city after city for her own sick amusement and to 'bring the true Queen to the throne', even more a symbol of insanity than Nightmare Moon herself-'
“You don't need to read that.” Luna said firmly closing the book with her magic and pulling it away from Twilight, having just come into her room. The Moon Princess seemed relieved at something, but what, Twilight wasn't sure of. “The things they said...” the lavender pony responded weakly.
“...All vicious lies and nothing more! Now please, listen to me... Celestia is gone.”
“Gone?! Princess Celestia?! How?! What are we gonna do?!”
“Be calm!” Luna yelled, attempting to steady the panicking mare, “She was taken by...another Alicorn. He was wearing a cloak, but I'm sure he was black. I...do not know who he could possibly be.” Twilight's eyes widened for a moment, but she didn't comment. “What can we do...?” she instead chose to say in response.
“Right now, I must take full responsibility over all that goes on in this government, as there is nopony else who can, with Princess Cadance and your brother off on royal business. There's no way the nobles will remain ignorant of the fact that my dear sister is gone, so I need to find something to tell them. I...can't tell them the truth, or they'd cause an uproar, those foals...”
“But Celestia...”
“We will do what we can...when we can, understand? We have no idea where she could be, and we simply cannot just leave Equestria to its own devices. W...I, have a duty to my people as well as my sister.”
The aura within the room was tense, both mares staring worriedly at each other. “I...I must go now...” Luna said shakily, turning to leave the room, “Before any chaos erupts.” As she was about to exit, Twilight ran up to her. “Wait, please!” she shouted, and Luna turned to face her, looking impatient, “...There's something I want to ask...”
“What is it? Please, hurry up.”
“Who is Eclipse Flare? And...what am I?”
A blank stare at the first question, yet no reaction to the second, “...How did you come to know of that name?”
“...A dream.”
Luna was silent, and her eyes darted all over the room, before she charged towards the pile of history books, looking through them all in a rush. “Read this.” she said firmly, handing Twilight what was likely the oldest book of the bunch, before dashing out of the room. She mentally kicked herself for not giving a personal answer, but it would require more explanations than she had the time to give. Equestria's own sanity was her biggest priority right now, however much her heart disagreed.
Luna turned to a nearby guard as she walked down the hallway. “Inform everypony of noble blood to meet me in Celestia's court,” she ordered, “I have urgent news that must be discussed with them. Every single one.” The guard listened carefully and nodded. “Right away, Princess.” he responded, running off to perform his new mission.
Luna watched him briefly, before heading to the court herself and waiting for everyone to come. Slowly, they all came, many of them looking very annoyed, others confused, and some genuinely looking concerned. The latter was so few one couldn't fault Luna for never noticing they were even there at all. But as all of them turned to her expectantly, she suddenly felt she could've waited a bit longer for their arrival.
“I will spare you all the introductions and get to the point,” Luna stated, going silent for a brief moment as she steeled herself for the inevitable response to what she was about to say, “...Princess Celestia has gone missing-”
It was as if she had set off a bomb. Soon the nobles were screaming out all sorts of things, but it may as well have been little more than gibberish, as she understood no word due to them yelling over each other.
“SILENCE!”
And as if by magic, they quieted down at the tone of her voice.
“...And until she is found, or Princess Cadance returns from the Griffon Kingdom, I will assume full control of this government in their absence,” Luna finished, “And I will order an invest-”
“And how do we know you didn't get rid of the Sun Princess yourself?!” one noble shrieked.
“Yeah, and how do we know you aren't the reason the Heart Princess hasn't returned?!” another yelled.
“Nightmare Moon never left! In fact, she's right here!” yet another cried.
Luna gritted her teeth as the accusations continued to be thrown her way, the nobles giving her no chance to speak. “It's so convenient that you take over with both of them out of the picture, isn't it?!” one of them shouted, slamming her hoof on the floor, “There will be none of this! No Nightmare Moon! No eternal night! Tell us where Princess Celestia is!”
“All of you...” Luna said slowly, narrowing her eyes, as they soldiered on in their misguided claims, “BE QUIET!” This time, her voice didn't leave as much of an impact, but it was enough for her to say one more thing, “If I did in fact do as you say, do you think angering me is a wise idea?”
Silence.
“I didn't think so.”
“And what of the Alicorn that burned Ponyville?” another noble dared to say, his tone filled to the brim with rage. “...And what of her?” Luna responded, trying to keep her own tone calm, but inside she could feel her anger boiling over.
“After what she did, simply imprisoning her isn't enough! The only punishment for a monster like her is death!”
The other nobles chose to stare at him in surprise, whereas Luna felt her composure falter slightly, before replying in a dark tone, “...Get out.”
“I will not!”
Any attempt at masking her emotions was abandoned as she screamed, “Then I'll force you to leave! GUARDS! GET THIS FOAL OUT OF THE COURT AND OUT OF MY SIGHT! MAYBE OUT OF THE CASTLE FOR AWHILE!”
“So you would refuse to handle a severe threat?!” the noble growled as the guards shoved him out of the room, “If you would refuse to do what must be done to protect this country, you aren't fit to rule!” His yelling soon became inaudible as he was taken further down the hallway. Luna closed her eyes and breathed slowly as her body shook, trying to regain her calmer composure.
“...It is odd that the accusations against you do not anger you nearly as much as the demand that...pony...be executed for a horrible crime...” one noble stated weakly, yet kept herself in Luna's sight despite feeling very intimidated. “Because I value lives more than I value ponies' opinions of me,” Luna answered bluntly, “And I will not kill my dear sister's student. Regardless of what happened, I feel that is not something Princess Celestia needs to come back to find.”
Luna scanned the entire court with a critical eye, before finally setting her gaze forward. “Now, let me repeat the reason I have called you here for, because of those unnecessary interruptions,” she began saying, feeling her anger subside only slightly, “In the absence of both Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance, I will rule the government fully in their place, until they return. And I will order an investigation of Princess Celestia's disappearance, send a message to Princess Cadance to request the reason why she has not returned, and I will go to speak with the citizens of Ponyville about the incident and help them rebuild personally. Is that understood?”
Plenty of mumbling, but they seemed to be a bit more accepting.
“Good. Then we are done here. You may leave the court now.”
The nobles immediately left the court, but Luna chose to remain for a few more minutes.
In Luna's room...
The book Luna had given her was very worn, some words along with some artwork faded, some pages slightly ripped, and the book itself older than she cared to imagine. How such an old thing was still, for the most part, readable...she had no idea. But she decided she should be thankful it was, for it said so much. She felt as if she would soon find the answers she sought, though another part of her wasn't sure any of it could be believed. The thought that Celestia would've kept all of this from her was something she didn't desire to entertain, but...
She wasn't really sure what to think anymore. But nonetheless, she gingerly turned the pages to the subject she felt more comfortable with, wanting to put the other one off as long as possible...
'Eclipse Flare was considered by many to be a strange and possibly lonely Alicorn. He had come to Equestria when it was still young, and his peculiar obsession with 'moving metal' caused many to be leery of him. The moving, occasionally even speaking pieces of metal put together were his only company for years until the Princesses had found him, working on yet another machine, as he had called them.
Finding another Alicorn had intrigued the young Princesses, and they asked him to come to their small country with them. He agreed, bringing his few creations with him. Luna seemed to show little interest in what Eclipse spent his days doing, but Celestia had steadily grown more interested in it, but whether this made him feel happy could not be said.
After a few years, and the incident with Merkir, being a scientist no longer fully satisfied Eclipse, and soon he found himself wondering why he had no power. It puzzled him that he, an Alicorn, was simply among the ponies that the Princesses ruled. Thus he wished to be among the rulers, but the Princesses only responded with rejection, not feeling he was ready to have a crown. This led to arguments, but Eclipse was at the very least sensible enough to keep the tension in words and nothing more. And neither side showed any sign of losing their resolve.
He disappeared shortly after Nightmare Moon and Twilight Despair were banished, no trace of his existence left behind. All his machines were simply gone. And the entire village he had been in was left lifeless, not a single one of the ponies who lived there had remained, and no evidence of anyone ever being there in the first place. Where he and the villagers, along with all signs of their existences had gone remains a mystery.
It is my wish that no one forgets Eclipse Flare and the villagers of Everfree.'
Twilight looked up from the book briefly, having caught a glimpse of gray in the corner of her eye, but thought nothing of it when she heard no sound. It was probably just her imagination. Sighing, she nervously began turning the pages to another subject, not at all looking forward to it. She was starting to reconsider ever wanting to know; the things she already knew disturbed her enough, but...
Well, that Merkir fellow sounded peculiar...
Yes, the other subject which she did not wish to name could wait. Just a little bit longer...
'Years before Nightmare Moon and Eclipse Flare's disappearance, there was a young Earth Pony by the name of Merkir. To say he hated being an Earth Pony would be an understatement. He envied the Pegasi, who had the gift of flight and the ability to control the weather. His jealousy of the Unicorns, whose gift was magic and everything it brought, good and evil, was great. He even would sometimes wear a fake horn or pair of wings which he had made himself.
To no surprise, Merkir was considered a freak, and made fun of mercilessly. It soon got so bad that the normally innocent pony began to grow resentful. But the personal attacks didn't cease, the ponies responsible oblivious to what they were creating. Eventually, Merkir had disappeared from the village, the only record of his existence within the memory of the ones who had made his life miserable. There were search parties, yes, but they always returned with nothing to go on.
A year later, Merkir returned, changed in more ways than one. His body was an Alicorn's, but whatever means had made him so were of the darkest kind, for there was no love in his heart. Only malice. He struck quickly, showing no mercy for any who crossed his path. And as more fell to his power, his armour began to turn the colour of blood. To many, he was an un-living abomination, for no truly living creature could be so heartless.
It did not take long for the true, living Alicorns to hear of his unrepentant destruction, and they soon hunted him down in a desperate attempt to stop him once and for all. It was the King of Malice against the Sun Princess, the Moon Princess, the Scientist, and the Musician in a battle that would last for far too long, not even the combined strength of the four was able to fully stop his dark power. As the battle raged and showed no clear winner, Merkir chose to run, but when they pursued, they could find no trace of him. Thus, they returned home, each of them claiming to have felt changed after fighting the crazed, self-proclaimed king.
But now, I can only say how truly sad it is that an innocent pony could become so wicked...'
Twilight raised her eyebrow ever so slightly at what she read, her face looking more curious than horrified, even though she was certainly feeling the latter. If this was true, then his story had been mixed with her own by some historians for a reason unknown. The similarities, she felt, were too close. But speaking of her own...
She went through the pages again for the relevant piece.
'It had been a few years since Merkir had last been seen, but the Alicorns found themselves still haunted by the memories of what he had done. To anypony who cared to look, it was clear something had changed within them, and as the time flowed by, it was for the worst. Though Celestia and Eclipse made no mention of it, preferring to continue their tasks, it was clear they were more withdrawn into themselves than they ever had been. Midnight and Luna arguably faired worse, with Midnight one day fleeing the castle, screaming long past his throat becoming dry. He disappeared into the slowly darkening woods deep within Everfree, and never returned.
The disappearance of one of her friends caused Luna to further withdraw into herself, and she soon became aware of her subjects growing to distrust her as she let her emotions rule her thoughts and actions. As their love for her dwindled, it only grew for Celestia, and soon the lost princess found herself jealous of her sister and closest friend. Celestia was unable to notice the darkness growing within her, and if Eclipse noticed, he said nothing. If anypony at all noticed, they failed to see where the signs were leading.
Consumed with grief and rage, Luna found herself spiraling into complete madness, the darkness that had taken hold of her heart changing her from the inside out, transforming her into what Equestria learned to call Nightmare Moon. With her newfound form and dark powers, eerily reminiscent of what Merkir had shown, she began her attempt to take full control over Equestria and bring eternal night upon it.
But she was not alone in her mad quest for power. She had soon discovered that a similar darkness crawled within the heart and mind of the Alicorn foal Twilight Sparkle, and with no remorse, she strengthened it, twisted it, and forced her own daughter to rapidly grow into a crazed, murderous mare known as Twilight Despair, who held no desire other than to destroy all who dared to oppose her mother, or as she often called her, the true Queen.
The extent of Twilight Despair's power and insanity was great, the only thing keeping her from burning all of Equestria into the ground being Nightmare Moon. But the damage the self-proclaimed queen had allowed her only follower to cause was massive, and there was none who could stand in their way. Soon, even the castle had fallen, despite the efforts of Celestia, Eclipse, and the army they commanded. This was a fight they knew they simply could not win.
Yet the battle raged on, and the two Alicorns turned to the Elements of Harmony in their desperation, attempting to use them to free Luna and Twilight from the monsters they had become. But within Celestia and Eclipse's hearts were fear and sorrow, and with it, no true Harmony. Nightmare Moon was instead banished with Twilight Despair soon to follow, but the latter Alicorn, enraged at what they were doing, charged towards Celestia and smashed the Element of Magic in an attempt to disrupt the spell. The shards of the broken Element sank into her skin like liquid, and she found herself pulled out of the world and joining Nightmare Moon.
And things would only get even worse, as Eclipse would disappear along with all of Everfree's remaining villagers, the forest surrounding it fallen into shadows, and Celestia would have her own rampage of insanity. Truly, whatever Merkir had done ruined them all forever...'
Twilight looked up from the book and closed it as Luna came into the room, not saying a word. Twilight turned to face her, eyes wide as everything she had read slowly sank in. Luna simply stared back, her expression unreadable, but Twilight could tell she wanted to say something.
“I take it that you have found the answers you sought?” Luna finally spoke up, her tone dull and words forced. The question came from the need to shatter the silence rather than the want to say something. The Moon Princess allowed herself a moment to swallow hard, nervousness threatening to take hold. She had wanted this. So why did she feel so numb?
“I...yes...” Twilight replied, her tone hushed as she struggled to find the right words, “Is all of...this...true? Am I really...?” She found herself unable to finish the question, choosing to hope Luna knew what she meant. “Every word.” Luna replied calmly, having regained some of her composure.
“I...need time...”
“I understand...”
Luna's expression soon became hurt, Twilight able to hear the sadness in her voice. Luna feared being rejected, and Twilight's inability to sort through her own thoughts and emotions only made things worse. But Twilight simply needed time. Memories of her parents, or who she had always considered her parents, danced around within her head. Then memories of her brother, and her time with Celestia before coming to Ponyville.
Celestia always told her she was gifted, and destined for great things, but she never imagined any of...this. Yet it all seemed to make sense. Why else would she have longed for Luna that night? Perhaps this was what Celestia meant when she said that Alicorns share a rather unique bond. The strength of their bonds could overcome even loss of memory, her teacher had told her.
“So this is why I longed for you...” Twilight said, her voice a mere whisper. “I felt your pain,” Luna responded, having heard it perfectly, “I wanted to be there, but I was...afraid.”
Silence.
“But then I felt the rage of Twilight Despair... Celestia told me to stay here, but I simply could not. Perhaps it is...for the better I had come against her orders.”
“...Yes. Yes it was. And...thank you for that...”
Luna allowed herself a weak smile, but soon her expression turned serious. “However, there are things that need to be done...” she said, “Though the disguise I have given you will make your true nature unknown to others, it does not change the fact that as an Alicorn, your magic has changed. Even something as simple as levitating a tea cup could lead to disaster. You have far more power than you ever did as an...honourary Unicorn. I believe it would be in your best interest to...train a bit. We don't know what we might be going up against.”
“That's a good idea!” Twilight shouted, her depression melting away for the moment, then she looked confused, “But, uh...where would we go that won't attract attention?” Luna's horn was already glowing, a sign that Twilight was about get her answer. Before long, she found herself standing in the crystal caves beneath Canterlot, where she had found the real Cadance during the wedding.
“Nopony should be here, and there should be enough room here...” Luna stated plainly, “Once you've grown accustomed to your new magical strength, I want to teach you some offensive and defensive spells. And how to properly guard your own mind from...unwanted visitors. And you need to learn how to fly. This all may seem...excessive, but after what happened to my sister, I am not taking any chances.” Twilight simply nodded in understanding.
“Good. We don't have much time, so let's begin...”
Elsewhere...
Shadow silently looked down at Canterlot from the mountains, sighing as a cool breeze blew through the trees around her, and a storm began coming in. She narrowed her eyes at the castle as rain started pouring. “Amethyst covered in darkness,” she muttered, “Phantom born of childish and petty revenge.”
She heard the faint clopping of hooves on the stones behind her, then the splashing of mud puddles as the pony came closer to her. She turned to face him, seeing what many would consider a black knight...except that he was not an armoured pony, but instead a machine. A black android Alicorn with glowing, dark green eyes.
“Tell the 'mighty' Amethyst Prince to cease this foolishness.” Shadow ordered, glaring angrily at the android. He merely cocked his head in response, his glowing, flame-like blue mane and tail blowing ever so slightly with the wind.
“Tell him to leave this land he has no quarrel with alone. Tell him to leave the object of his childish hatred alone. Tell him to return their Sun Princess.”
“He will not.” the android stated firmly, voice metallic yet deep. “Then tell him that he will not remain in power for much longer,” Shadow replied, struggling with the words, as speaking was never her forte, “Tell him that his world will snap and crumble before his very eyes, and only ash will be left of it. I make this promise to do what I must to protect the innocents he hurts. I promise to destroy him.”
“”Do you really think your odds of beating him are good?”
“Then if I cannot, somepony else can.”
“That is also unlikely.”
“No it is not.”
The android remained perfectly still for a few moments, but whether he was annoyed or not was unknown to the Unicorn. “Yes it is.” he stated plainly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Then believe what you will.” Shadow responded, her expression unchanged.
“Being a traitor has its consequences.” the android spoke up as Shadow turned to leave. “And being a tyrant has greater.” she snapped back, turning her head to look at him.
“The Amethyst Prince is not a tyrant.”
“Yet he has caused innocents pain over this grudge.”
Shadow started walking away, taking care not to slip in the mud. “...The hunt has already begun,” the android informed her, “There is no turning back now.” She continued walking, then stopped for a brief moment, but didn't turn to look at him. “Then your fate is sealed.” she replied darkly, breaking into a full-on run through the wind, rain, and mud, disappearing from sight.
The android remained where he had been the whole time.
“Negative.”
He walked away.
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Insert overused M. Bison clip here
IT UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem* Looks like my guess was right about Twilight was right...
The plot development is good, though the scene with the nobles felt a bit flat compared to most of the story (possibly because here it is mostly a faceless mob where before there were lots of characters that at least got a name and a scene to give and idea of what they are like).
Looking forward to some time spend dealing with the fallout of all these happening some chapter soon.
I need to go back and reread this... It's been so long that I have absolutely not idea what's going on. Hehe.
1421409
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3637-1330097145371495.gif
It seems the right questions are not being asked. Dispair and Sparkle are two separate ponies sharing the same body. Yet Sparkle feels as if they are the same instead of a split personality. Also, how is the huge time gap gonna be explained? Was Twilight in stasis for over 900 years?
1422407
That is not M. Bison, it is Q. Discord.
1422577
Well, it seems that the nature of the transition between personalities makes it hard for Twilight to feel that they are truly separate.
And the history book did say she was sealed.
1422928
What was sealed was who she was hundreds of years ago, which I feel should be considered a completely different entity; they act different, they have different goals, motives, and morals. It's not unheard of for people suffering memory loss to develop different personalities, though the author may be viewing this whole ordeal with a different perspective.
1423322
The book specifically stated that she was "pulled out of the world".
The reason it may be hard for Sparkle to identify Despair as a separate being is before they switched control she was feeling foreign emotions and impulses and afterwards she remembers what happened as though she did it (or that is the way it seemed with the mystery alicorn asked her about it in the previous chapter).
1423576
Since the updates are so far apart I feel as if I need to read it again so other story's universes aren't polluting this one. I would think Sparkle's conscious would try and separate who she knows she is from the actions that Dispair did; kinda like forcing the blame on something else.
2052631
Because Despair was sealed back then. My theory is Discord's antics put a crack in the seal.