Keep Calm and Canter On
Ruling a land for a thousand years gave one a particular ability to sense when something was wrong with it.
Now, Celestia knew there was a more overt sign something was up—the staff was running around in blind panic, the servants were fleeing the castle, and the Guard seemed to be preparing to launch some sort of rescue for her, but those were not it.
Somewhere, something was wrong. Something seemingly minor—only a single pony’s power—drove this feeling, but no normal pony could raise her unconscious alarm like this. And of those she could think of, Twilight Sparkle was currently indisposed at lunch.
Racing from the throne room to the secret vault in her chambers, she confirmed her fear. She had left the statue of Discord there for safekeeping—and it was shattered.
The telltale signs of magic led from the vault to her window, then outside. And in the distance, she could see her groundskeeping staff struggling to remove large handlebar mustaches.
She swore in the most regal way possible.
“Okay, just gonna let you know, but there seems to be an assault team on the other side of the door,” said Rainbow Dash, flying back into the dining hall. She’d left to use the bathroom, exiting through a window and visiting the upper floors of the castle to use the pegasus bathroom—apparently, it had the softest toilet paper.
“What?” said Applejack in alarm. Twilight, who was suffering though Rarity and Pinkie tracing her hooves for Rarity’s notes, let out a long sigh.
“Uh, might want to go get Celestia,” said Twilight, looking to Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” said Dash with a nod, flying back out the window.
“Ah’ll see if ah can talk some sense into them,” said Applejack, opening the door to the hall. On the other side were nearly fifty guards, holding weapons and standing on knocking knees. “Uh, howdy.”
“Oh, Celestia, look at it!” shouted one of the guards. They all saw Twilight in unison, screamed, and fled.
“… ah paid how much in taxes to support mah military!?” Applejack shouted at them as they ran. “An’ she ain’t done nothin’, ya hear!”
“Okay, this is getting out of control,” sighed Twilight, clearing her mind and stepping away from Rarity. “When Rainbow Dash gets back with Celestia—“
“‘Sup,” said Dash, flying though the hall, Celestia beside her.
“Hello, Princess,” said Twilight, flinching. “Um, I think the castle guard is having some problems with me.”
“You must forgive them—Discord turned most of them into chickens when he attacked,” said Celestia with a sigh. “I think the effects may be lingering. I think we should take you to the throne room, Twilight. We have an announcement to make so that we can keep this from getting much worse.”
“… you’re going to tell the whole of Equestria, right?” asked Twilight weakly, looking up at her.
“It may be for the best, Twilight,” said Celestia, walking over and nuzzling her student. “Rumors spread more fear than fact.”
“And idiots are spreadin’ rumors,” said Applejack, watching two servant mares flee through the gardens. “We might want to hurry, Your Highness. Won’t be much longer till all of Canterlot’s goin’ crazy.”
“This way, Twilight,” said Celestia, leaping into the air. “Flight will be quicker.”
“And safer,” sighed Twilight, taking off into the air after her mentor. “Uh, Princess, quick question—um, Rarity wants to make me some shoes like yours.”
Celestia gave Twilight a quizzical look.
“Uh … is that okay?” asked Twilight, wincing. “Uh, it’s because my magic is in my hooves now and if I’m wearing shoes, we think I won’t accidentally use magic. It’s—it’s not like I’m trying to dress up as you. Again.”
“Twilight, you can just borrow a set,” said Celestia, looking to the other Elements as if to confirm that this conversation was really happening. Rarity nodded eagerly, while the rest just shrugged. “I have a million of them. In fact, this set is a little small—you may have them.”
As Celestia levitated the golden shoes from her hooves, Pinkie Pie licked her lips and watched.
“Somepony tell me what is going on!” shouted Orion Sparkle, struggling to hold onto his wife as a crowd of ponies stampeded through the streets of Canterlot. “Anypony!”
“W-we need to go to the castle!” cried Dazzle Sparkle, using her magic to create a bubble in the street to keep them safe. “We need to see if Twilight is okay!”
“The guard won’t let us in!” said Orion, arguing but forcing his way forward though the river of ponies.
Dazzle pointed to the sky; a flock of Guard pegasi were flapping away. “Don’t think that’ll stop us now!” shouted Dazzle.
“Let’s go!” said Orion with a nod, and the two ponies began to force their way towards the castle. For several tense minutes they fought for every step, the chaotic crowds buffeting them, and once or twice they nearly lost each other. It wasn’t until they were nearly in the gates of the palace that things stopped.
“Citizens of Canterlot! Cease!”
Princess Luna’s voice echoed over the whole of the city, drowning out the sounds of thousands of ponies in an instant.
“We, your rulers, beseech you to calm yourselves and come to the castle! We will put your fears to rest!”
As they felt a surge of ponies rushing towards the palace, Dazzle and Orion’s fears only grew. They climbed onto a statue of a unicorn as the citizens of Equestria began to pour in, both the ponies of Canterlot and journalists from around the land. They had a good view of the ocean of beings from their high perch and could see the balcony of the castle where the Princesses both stood, flanked by five of the Elements of Harmony.
But not the one that Dazzle and Orion wished to see.
“I am sorry for the panic that has spread today; it is my fault,” said Princess Celestia, waving over the balcony. Thought she lacked her sister’s volume, her voice was clear to everypony present. “But I knew not how to handle the situation. I see now I should have told you sooner.”
“Has Discord really returned?” shouted a voice.
“Who will be the new Element of Magic now that Twilight Sparkle’s dead?” shouted a photographer, making Dazzle and Orion’s blood run cold.
“Was a monster truly loose in the gardens?” shouted somepony else.
“Neigh, Discord has not returned—at least, not as he did before,” said Celesta. “For when Twilight Sparkle, my student and the Element of Magic, fought him, she weakened him greatly; his magic is now no stronger than a unicorn’s. You saw the Guard leaving town; they were not fleeing, as the rumor suggests. They were beginning the search; in his weakened state he is little of a threat, but he is a threat none the less. He will not get far.”
The crowd cheered as Dazzle and Orion shouted for more news of their daughter.
“But there is more to tell,” said Celestia, silencing them. “The powers of chaos cannot be simply sealed; they need a guardian. Twilight Sparkle has become that new guardian.”
Dazzle and Orion could only watch in horror as a strange creature appeared next to Celestia; its resemblance to their daughter was disturbing. It had horns and wings and a monstrous tail, but its body, its mane, was still that of their daughters.
“She has saved Equestria twice now; she means our land no harm,” continued Celestia. “And has let her power be dampened to its most minimal of levels. There is no reason to fear her.”
“T-twilight,” said Dazzle, tears in her eyes. The crowd murmured, talking to one another. Most seemed suspicious, even if they had been told not to be by their beloved Princess. “W-we need to go see her, Orion. We need to go see her.”
“Move,” said Orion, pushing apart the sea of ponies roughly. He led his wife though the crowd as Twilight left the balcony.
The Royal Guard, Princesses, and anypony who got in their way be damned. They were going to see their daughter.
“Uh, so, how did that go?” asked Rainbow Dash nervously as the balcony emptied back into the castle. Below the crowds were slowly dispersing, but many ponies seemed to be hanging out to get another look at Twilight.
“… I do not know,” said Celestia with a sigh. “But there is no longer panic in the streets.”
Twilight Sparkle did the best she could to slink to the back of the group and vanish—she was blushing and obviously wanted to be out of the spotlight.
“Next ordera business, Discord!” said Applejack, running to face Celestia. “He really got out again?”
“He has, but this time, he will not be as grave a threat,” said Celestia, looking out the window. She could see her pegasi guards slinking back towards the castle atop several cumulus. “I want you five to go after him.”
“Us? Us!?” said Applejack in shock. “What about your Guards, then? Mah farm paid six thousand bits in taxes last year; don’ tell me that they ain’t gunna help! And why only five of us—Twi could probably whip him with ease now!”
“I’m afraid I will need them for keeping up appearances around the castle,” Celestia said with an apologetic look. “And truthfully? They are not worth much.”
“… you surrounded yourself with good-looking but worthless guards,” stated Rainbow Dash, her jaw dropping. Celestia blushed slightly. “I don’t believe this! What if something goes crazy and Equestria needs help? Are we your only real fighting force?”
“… perhaps a refund might be in order,” said Celestia awkwardly, looking to Applejack and giving a nervous smile.
“S-shouldn’t we go catch that meanie first?” interrupted Fluttershy, drawing everypony back to the topic at hoof. “Where did he go?”
“His trail leads through the gardens,” said Celestia, gesturing in that direction. “But he will be long gone. I have a method for you to track him—an amulet that will sense his magic.”
“But Twilight has his magic,” said Rainbow Dash, looking to Twilight. The unicorn-turned-draconequus’s face lit up in horror.
“No!” she shouted, rushing forwards. “No! He has my magic?”
“Oh, this won’t be fun,” said Applejack with a sigh.
“I am afraid so. I believe that is how Discord escaped so easily—he may be mightier, but your magic may have possessed the precision to help him break free that he had lacked before.”
“Okay, so we’ve got to watch out for teleportation … mustaches … levitation … and the fail-safe spell that failed …” said Spike, jotting a list of spells on a parchment. “I’m making you guys a full list of every spell Twi could use. And—“
“Why isn’t Twilight coming?” Applejack asked again. “She’d know her magic perfectly!”
“I don’t think I would be much help,” said Twilight quickly. “I can barely walk around without wacky hijinks ensuing.”
“Then, uh, why doesn’t Spike just come with us?” said Rainbow Dash, flapping over to an armor display and picking up a mace. “Uh, I’m gonna borrow this, princess. For when we find him.”
“Go ahead,” said Celestia with a nod. “… make it hurt.”
“I, uh, I want to stay with Twilight,” said Spike, scratching his spines. “If you guys are going, someone should stay to keep her company.”
It was unsaid, but the fact that she’d need someone who could deal with normal ponies for her echoed through the air.
“Right, well, let’s go!” said Dash, flapping down the hall.
“The amulet,” said Celestia, levitating the necklace to Rarity. “I assume you know how to use it?”
“I may not be a magician, but when it comes to magic jewelry …” said Rarity with a smile, connecting it around her neck as the other Elements followed Rainbow Dash. “… I am up to the task. Twilight …”
“You should go,” said Twilight, gesturing to their friends.
“Don’t get discouraged,” said Rarity with a reassuring smile. She turned and galloped off, leaving Celestia, Spike, and Twilight alone.
“… guess I should go back to practicing magic,” said Twilight with a sigh. “Make myself useful.”
“You should not think of it that way,” said Celestia, turning to face her student. “You have always been the leader of your friends and taken great risks for them—it is their turn to save you.”
“I think I owe Applejack a few dozen rescues already,” said Twilight sheepishly. “She tends to help me not fall off of cliffs.” She let out a weak little laugh.
“Twilight!”
She spun in an instant, recognizing her mother’s voice. Her parents were galloping down the hall, looking haggard and scared.
“M-mom!” she said in alarm, desperately trying to avoid moving her hooves. Her golden shoes had worked so far, but she did not trust them as of yet. “Dad!”
She didn’t have a chance to say anything else before her mother embraced her.
“We were so worried,” said Dazzle, holding her tightly. Twilight could feel her shaking. She could see her father’s face as he came to a halt; it was covered with fear and hope. She flinched as his eyes traced the two unfamiliar horns atop her head. At the same time her bat wing, held tight against her body by her mother, sent pinches of pain through her body. “A-are yo-you okay?”
“Mostly,” said Twilight, hugging her mother back. “I-I’m sorry. I should have sent news sooner. I-I …”
“It’s okay, Twilight,” said her father, taking a calming breath. Behind him, a pair of guards poked their heads into the hall, looking to her in alarm and Celestia with pleading eyes. Celestia excused herself and trotted off to them. “We know why we weren’t told now. We were scared when we saw you, but we’re fine now.”
For the first time that entire day, Twilight felt herself relax. She had her friends, she had her teacher, she had Spike, and she had her parents. Even if she never returned to her real form, she could survive this.
“Any news about that mess’o Guardsponies we saw earlier?” asked Rusty Rails, trotting down the main street of Trottingham. The old unicorn was sooty and tired from a day at the train station, but always had time to gossip about the news. He’d spoken to the town crier, one of the few ponies still around at this time of the evening.
“None yet; I’ve heard that the papers will have some big story tomorrow,” replied the crier from his post. “There was some announcement in Canterlot.”
“Interesting times, lately,” said Mousey Squeak as she led her foal from her store. She closed and locked the door, and Pip Squeak trotted around happily. The dappled earth ponies were of one of the more skittish families in town and were famous for their dislike of excitement—though rumor was Pip was a bit of a black sheep. “I heard from Cabbage and Lucky that some sort of monster was loose outside of the castle.”
“Well, that’d explain it,” said Rusty, looking towards Canterlot. It wasn’t far from Trottingham to the castle. He then glanced up and down the cobbled street, his eyes tracing the old stone buildings. He didn’t spy any monsters, which put him at ease. “Probably something the Princesses had locked up that Discord set loose.”
“Wouldn’t the monster have shown up earlier?” asked Pip, galloping over. He looked very interested. “Unless it was a really old dragon; don’t they move slowly?”
“A dragon? Goodness, Pip, don’t speak of such things!” said his mother, grabbing him by the tail and pulling him back away from Rusty Rails. “I’m sorry, Rusty, he gets so imaginative.”
“Oh, don’t worry—the Guard could set a dragon straight in a hour,” laughed Rusty, using his hoof to jostle Pip’s mane. “And this brave little colt could probably handle one on his own!”
Pip Squeak beamed.
“Oh, I doubt it,” said a voice, echoing around them. The four ponies jumped in terror—they knew that voice. They doubted anyone in Equestria would forget it soon. Pip hid behind his mother and Rusty and the town crier stood on either side of her to shield her—but there was no sign of where the voice had come from.
“A hungry dragon would gobble you all up without so much as blinking.”
Rusty turned, looking to the top of the candy shop; there, he saw it. In the shadows was the slinking, serpentine form of something. It had to be Discord.
“Go!” he shouted, focusing magic around his horn. The next thing he knew a burst of purple light surrounded him and he found himself standing high atop a cloud, the streets of Trottingham far below. He saw several more bursts of light below, then was struck with panic—why wasn’t he falling? He wasn’t a pegasus, he couldn’t walk on clouds!
Then, besides him, there was another burst of light.
Discord had been a monster. This looked like a baby monster. It was only the size of a pony, though the serpentine body might have been longer overall and was missing parts. There were no wings, and the horns were gone, replaced by a pair of small unicorn-horn-like nubs.
“Oh, don’t even tell me I’m adorable,” said Discord, but this time it struck Rusty he sounded younger than several days before when he’d cackled after he turned all of the trains into dragons. A toothy smile—one of the large forefangs was gone—spread across his face. “At least, don’t unless you want me to cancel the cloud walking spell on you.”
“Y-you don’t scare me,” said Rusty, trying to edge towards the center of the cloud.
“No? Well, you’re no fun, then,” said Discord, reaching behind his back and producing a terrified looking Pip. The foal bucked and kicked, but Discord’s horns glowed and ropes appeared to bind him. “But you strike me as a pony that cares about other ponies. I imagine if I threw this poor lil’ fella off the cloud, you’d be a little upset.”
“D-don’t!” cried Rusty Rail, his voice vanishing into the night skies. “Don’t. Please.”
“Good. Now, I’ve a little proposition,” said Discord, tossing Pip from one paw to another. “I’ll give you the foal if you give me your magic. All of it.”
“W-what?” said Rusty in shock. His eyes narrowed. “Wait, you only do things for fun. Where’s the fun in any of this?”
“Oh, believe me, there’s a gag in it—but I wouldn’t want to spoil it yet,” chuckled Discord. The joviality drained from his face in an instant as he lunged towards Rusty, stopping only a hair’s breadth from the unicorn’s face. “Now. Tell me I can have your magic and I’ll give you this foal.”
“Why—“
“Ah ah!” said Discord, looking off toward Trottingham; there were a number of lights turning on and ponies in the streets. “It won’t be long until we’re found—the deal’s gone then. Tell me I can have your magic or I throw the foal to his death.”
“… f-fine,” said Rusty with a gulp. What options did he have?
There was a burst of pain as purple light enveloped him, and then, as quickly as it came, it was gone. He found himself lying on a cloud with a struggling and still bound Pip Squeak.
Rusty put a hoof to his forehead—his horn was gone.
He realized now that he was an earth pony, trapped among the clouds.
“Arrivederci!” cackled Discord, poison and mirth in his tone, standing on a distant cloud. There were two glowing auras around him now—a bright purple one and a smaller, dimmer red one. “And should you happen to get down, do tell the Elements of Harmony what happened in the most agonizing of detail.”
There was another flash, and he was gone.
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
877 users online
630,984 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow this has got to be the most evil thing discord has done
Now this is getting interesting indeed.
She flinched as his eyes traced the two unfamiliar horns atop her head at her batwing, held tight against her body my her mother, sent pinches of pain through her body.
You might want to reword this sentence. Otherwise, I'm enjoying what's there so far. Looking forward to more.
57851 Fixed! Missed a period and a word. Thanks for the edit!
Oh, this again... I feel like I'm a bad person for enjoying a story with this many basic spelling and punctuation errors. This is lovely, but please, please find yourself a competent proofreader.
(When it's the very first line.. you gotta correct it) Ruling a land for a thousand years gave one a particular ability...
That is pretty evil all right! Good characterization of Discord though. I think there needs to be a real re-think on the budget for the palace guard. Con-sarnit.
I actually sort of want Twilight to stay this way and adjust to her new powers and appearance? She should lighten up a bit and learn to enjoy chaos, when expressed responsibly.
"She swore in the most regal way possible."
Le fuck?
o_o ..... *takes the mace from Rainbow Dash* Give me that, I want first swing at the bastard. >:C
Well, discord is pretty desperate.
Awesome chapter.
57935 ....uh....what? I don't see the typo. I know I have a ton, but I don't see it.
57925 Wanna step up to the plate? I could use one with all the complaints.
With all the complaints to grammar and spelling mistakes, am I poorly educated because I can't find them ._.
... Ouch. Admittedly, my knee-jerk reaction here is to complain about Discord being OOC. He strikes me more as a glorious bastard than just downright cruel. However, on further reflection - this is quite easily justified. Nevermind the 'turned into a statue' (he'd spent a thousand years as one, and came out laughing - a couple days ain't gonna faze him). But the 'lost all his own magic', well... And glorious bastards do tend to be rather cruel when crossed. I still want to complain about him threatening to chuck Pip off the cloud, but I suppose, without his powers, he couldn't really do anything all that much more imaginative with no preparation. So yeah - whilst I am uncomfortable with cruel, basic Discord, I can see the reasoning behind it.
The only other complaint I have, really, is that RD is the one to grab the mace. Sure, they all have reason to hate him, but Fluttershy's reaction when she was cured... Yeah, she should totally have first crack at him.
Apart from those, this was a brilliant chap - I mean, "She swore in the most regal way possible." ? Cracked me up. And lusty Pinkie? I should not find that funny. But I so totally do.
58046 What is an evil trickster god without his tricks or godhood? Evil. Discord will be much less pleasant in this fic.
58045 Naw, brony. I've worked as a writer for television scrips on internship - only grammer nazi's and editors care. And if it's spoken, like my stuff is? Nobody cares. The english language won't even use the same system of punctuation in 150 years - go read the Age of Innocence if you want an example of how it evolves. The apostrophe don't exist and the dash is everywhere.
58098
Oooo what scripts?
That sounds pretty fun actually
58046
58098
In semi-agreement with the both of you- Discord has every reason to be downright cruel, yet I still think he should be enjoying himself. The tiniest bit less "evil evil" and the slightest bit more "discordious."
I have no clue at this point. Just keep on going. Tally-ho!
58150 It's been Comedy Central stuff. Most of it - and I mean 98% - was working on scrips for sitcom pilots that would never be made. Those were a blast, though - we got to act the scenes out on leftover sets from other shows. But I did get to decide the timing on a joke for the Daily Show that made air about Herman Cain - but as an uncredited intern I can't honestly prove it.
But, two weeks I'm graduated and looking at gruntwork - minimum wage gagwriting for the company - but thats the way you get in.
58175
this is me purely assuming so don't be mad (This goes for everyone :l)
But I think the reason Discord seems Truly Evil is his powers weren't just his strength they were a part of him specifically his insanity and Humor. Without them he is just a monster stripped of what made him, Him.
Also I believe you're right out of all the Villains Discord has every right to be angry. He is the spirit of Chaos in a world filled with harmony he has no place and that's not by his choice. All he can do is cause Chaos nobody once tried to help him they just proceeded to trap him in stone again the moment they got the chance.
58193
Can't wait till you make it big time if any of the scripts are half as good as these we may have ourselves some comedic gold on television :D
57777
You must not have read Heavenly Turmoil, lol.
I just found this today, really liking it so far. I've played with the idea of Twilight somehow aquiring Discord's chaos magic, but this is the first time I've seen it in a fanfic.
terrific
I really have to say that I'm loving this story. It's very well made, humorous, has a good twist and conflict to it, and it's going to be really interesting to see how Twilight handles Discord's power. This one truly is excellent. You should be proud. More please.
Although, I think you MAY want to tone down the "Pinkie Hoof Fetish" thing that you have going for her. It's starting to get a little... intrusive.
Why does Discord play with ponies? Because he is so far above them they can't harm him. That smug arrogence is why he is so genial with everyone. Take away that power, his ability to fly, and encase him in stone? Suddenly you have someone frightningly like Nikol Bolas. He was powerful once, and enjoyed that power immensly, then they stole it from him, leaving him with his back to the wall. He escaped being turned to stone once, because they did not know to prepare for it, what are the odds he can escape again? Desperate good people often make decisions they will regret later, compromising their morality for survival. Desperate malevolent people drop their pretenses, drop their games, and become truly dangerous. Why take their magic? To get his own back, or worse, to become more powerful. It was speculated that he only roughly controlled his own magic before, now he has magic that obeys him, if he has a method to become just as powerful as before, why would he even want his old magic back?
I am SO looking forward to this.
58486 Yep yep! Thats where I was going with this!
58027
You know what? Sure. Comments sections aren't the most convenient places to do it, so send me a PM and we'll arrange something.
This is getting better by the chapter!
I can't wait for the next one~!
This is good overall, but I don't really like how you're portraying Pinkie. Awareness of our reality is ok, but it feels like that's all she's got going for her in this story and it's getting really old.
Wow.
To be frank, I was expecting Discord to be turned into a pony (because it seemed funny), but you chose to keep Discord as a dragon-thing. And you're not making him fun, you're making him really evil, but with a "fun" magic.
Now, let's make the math. In your story, Discord is evil, with a "fun" magic keeping him somehow limited. What happens if you give him a magic working fine, instead of a magic having random result? I'm curious to see.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
only a single ponies power drove this feeling,
-I think you mean "pony's".
She had left the statue of Discord there for safekeeping - and it was shattered.
-Was not expecting this...
And in the distance, she could see her groundskeeping staff struggling to remove large handlebar mustaches.
-From themselves? I wouldn't think that they would consider that emergency enough to try hedge-clippers rather than going to find a barber... unless they were so heavy as to impede movement? Also, it took me until I started writing this comment to realize that it REALLY IS Twilight's magic he is using. Although the realized (as opposed to potential) versatility of her powers seems to be driven by practice, so unless he got her associated learning in addition to her raw power and scope of potential it doesn't make sense that he would be using her powers in such a similar way to her own usage of them... unless his study of her (he knew the virtues and flaws of each Element Bearer), included her repetiore of spells, and he is trying to rub it in Twilight and Celestia's face... I see them swapping back at the end of this, possibly with Celestia getting disabled or something temporarily, such that Twilight becomes the bearer of Magic/Friendship again.
apparently, it had the softest toilet paper.
-Made from clouds, and thus insubstantial to both the hooves and the excrement of non-flying species?... heh... magical pegasus poop... weird idea.
“ I think it might be lingering on them somewhat.
-Interesting "Luna Eclipsed" reference... I expect Pinkie Pie to go non-linear with the narration to lamp-shade it any paragraph now...
As Celestia levitated the golden shoes from her hooves, Pinkie Pie licked her lips and watched.
-Took me this long to be sure you had given PP a hoof fetish... thought she was just thinking of Clopping (perhaps clopping a partner rather than one's self, but clopping neigh-the-less).
“ WE, YOUR RULERS, PLY YOU
-"Ply"? I suspect a typo, but I can't figure out what it should be.
But not the one that Dazzle and Orion wished to see.
-Eh, she will be out soon enough... I also find it odd that Celestia doesn't seem to be doing ANYTHING about the complete monster running around free, with the third most powerful unicorn in the kingdom's magic.
his magic is now no stronger than a unicorns.
-"unicorn's"... and I see she is being clever by not specifying WHICH unicorn.
They were beginning the search - in his weakened state he is little of a threat, but he is a threat none the less.
-Ah! Didn't connect this... also interesting that he is weakened enough to not be as much of a threat as the actual standard (if there can be such a thing) CASE NIGHTMARE DUSK scenario.
They were going to see their daughter.
-I was half expecting her to see them on their high perch and fly over to them... probably a good thing she didn't, no telling how the crowd would hav reacted.
Rainbow Dash nervously as the balcony emptied back into the castle. Below the crowds were slowly dispersing, but many ponies seemed to be hanging on to get another look at Twilight.
-What? The showboat athlete of the group can't read a crowd at all? Seems odd.
She could see her pegasi guards slinking back towards the castle atop several cumulus.
-So... they really WERE running in terror after all? I guess that makes sense given the bit about the chef contacting them. Still, I don't see Celestia telling her little ponies an outright falsehood like that... maybe it was "giving them the benefit of the doubt"?
It was unsaid, but the fact that she’d need someone who could deal with normal ponies for her echoed through the air.
-Good point, but I don't know if it outweighs the benefit of having someone who knows her magic inside and out with the "hunting" team. This also shows that there isn't an actual "Case Nightmare Dusk" file in your setting (well, beyond the existence of the amulet, assuming Celestia didn't enchant it in the last half-hour). Or at least that too much of it is based around her personality, rather than her powers to show to them usefully. It actually makes sense if the guard are that useless though... although why Celestia and/or Luna don't go after him themselves... they actually would have the most knowledge of him, having lived a while under his rule, plus Celestia having perhaps LITERALLY taught Twilight most or all of what she knows (or at least knowing what reading she assigned, and what classes by other teachers she put her in).
t is their turn to save you.”
-From what? False guilt over knowing that her power is being used for evil ends? She certainly seems to be in little to no danger otherwise...
Even if she never returned to her real form, she could survive this.
-I still say she should try to keep the wings...
Mousey Squeak as she lead her foal from her store. She closed and locked the door and Pip Squeak trotted around happily.
-Nice world-building...
The dappled earth ponies were of one of the more skittish families in town and were famous for their dislike of excitement
-Are English Spotted Ponies (or whatever the name of the breed that fans have decided Pip Squeak is) known for being more skittish than other breeds?
thought rumor was Pip was a bit of a black sheep.
-Yes... quite so... although I wonder if "exception" would be a better word... I guess I can see them being judgmental about it... shades of that movie about mice, rats, and soup that I can't remember the name of?
“ And this brave little colt could probably handle on on his own!”
- handle one on his own!”
They doubted anyone in Equestria would forget it soon.
-He was moving around Equestria making public announcements or something?
then was struck with panic - why wasn’t he falling? He wasn’t a pegasus, he couldn’t walk on clouds!
-So while Discord's magic is naturally disposed to Chaos, Twilight's is hard to use in a really harmful way (thus pairing the teleport with a cloud-walking effect?). Then again, Discord doesn't seem to like breaking his toys... also maybe the age regression mellowed him out a bit.
He realized now that he was an earth pony, trapped amongst the clouds.
-No, he is an Earth-pony without the benefits of BEING an earthpony (bless the land... and a lot of fanon makes them stronger and more enduring). Still, it shouldn't be THAT hard to get some help, unless he is above yelling range of the ground. I seem to remember the cloudwalking spell lasting a while, then again, Discord might have intentionally shortened the duration. I also find the power-stealing interesting. Breifly wondered if that was how he got his power the first time, and the Chaos is partially the result of having several hundred or so different mis-matched powers inside him.
59414 The world 'ply" is an olde english form of the term "request".
I'm too drunk for the rest of your comments, so sorry thats all I wrote.
Hey potato someone drew a discolight too :) http://nyuuchandiannepie.deviantart.com/art/Discolight-273099814
I know Nonagon just offered, but if you want a second opinion, I wouldn't mind acting as a second proofreader :3
59611 EEEEEEE OMIGAWD YES
THIS IS NOW MY BACKGROUND!
Man that is Joker grade evil. When Discord gets desperate ponies get screwed, how unlike Q.
59715 yay glad that you like it so much :) Awsome story btw.
Grats on EQD
Congrats on getting this fic on EQD! I really liked the concept and thought it deserved to get featured there. Looking forward on what's gonna happen next!
I really like this story but Pinkie is too much a 1 trick pony with all her stuff being 4th wall related.
Brilliant and fascinating idea! I can't wait for more!
This promises to be an interesting fic indeed!
I'm already loving it =D Especially Pinkie and her not-so-subtle lewd jokes xD
That one with "magic hooves" had be laughing so hard xD
How come only Spike and Twilight are in the characters list?
61979 BELIEVE IT OR NOT I actually have a reason for Pinkie breaking the fourth wall.
62026 Yeah, the hooves joke just popped into my mind as I wrote it so I rolled with it!
62102 Well, it asks for the most important charecters and most people have like 10 charecters on their stories. I try to be better.
I must say, I'm a bit disappointed with this direction that the story's taking. I was hoping that perhaps Twilight had become Discord, in a way, and the main drama of the story would be in her struggle to prevent her sanity from being consumed by chaos and her essentially becoming the new Discord in mind as well as in body and powers.
But hey, this works too.
I'm just eager to see more Twilight. Her situation here is quite intriguing. Discord, on the other hand, has taken his change-up totally in stride and is already working a nefarious plan with barely a beat missed. He even knows how to augment his own abilities by taking others', something Twilight certainly didn't seem to know hot to do. Compared to Twilight's side of the story, I'm finding that more than a bit dull. But this story is young, so we shall see how that turns out.
oh how i hate you rainbow....your ego will be your fucking death
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
me likeeeeeee
62150 Well, sorry to dissapoint. At least you didn't have to spend much time reading!
62212 FINE-FRIGGING-ALLY, someone who doesn't hate how I wrote Pinkie Pie. Thank gouda somepony else enjoyed it.
It's good to know that people think on the same wave-length as me, in reguards to stories.
Seriously though, I love the plot, can't wait to see where you go with this