2012Sorching summer comes, in order to thank everyone, characteristic, novel style, varieties, low price and good quality, and the low sale price. Thank everyone

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

$33 True Religion jeans, Ed Hardy jeans,LV,Coogi jeans,Affliction jeans

$30 Air Jordan shoes,Shox shoes,Gucci,LV shoes

50%Discount winter fashion :Sandle,t-shirt,caps,jerseys,handbag and brand watches!!!

$15 Ed Hardy ,LV ,Gucci Bikini

$15 Polo, Ed Hardy, Gucci, LV, Lacoste T-shirts

$25 Coach,Gucci,LV,Prada,Juicy,Chanel handbag,

$10 Gucci,Ed Hardy sunglasses

$9 New Era caps.

give you the unexpected harvest

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

==== ( http://www.fullmalls.com ) =====

==== ( http://www.scnshop.com ) =====

No soliciting please.

Well, that escalated quickly.

The ending seemed somewhat...abrupt and I think you need to find yourself an editor, or at least a proof-reader, as there are so many grammatical errors it's tough to count them all. Otherwise, it's a sound idea and I do like.

You got yourself a thumbs up, sir.

EDIT: One point that occurs to me: You mention how Celestia is nigh indestructible and how no physical harm could kill her; yet Luna finishes her off with a mere stab through the neck. You're contradicting yourself there, and I would suggest that you reign in (haha) your description of Celestia's toughness.

Idsertian, thank you for your comment. I appreciate your constructive criticism. Although, please elaborate on my 'grammatical errors' I'm using Microsoft Word 2007 so spell check removes most of my errors.

>>982866982866

Apologies for the late reply, I haven't had a chance to get onto fimfiction until now.

Rather than crap up the comments section with a long-as-hell post, I'll read through again with a critical eye and send what I find in a PM, along with any fixes/suggestions I think up.

Also, don't rely on the spell-checker in any word processing application, it's a rudimentary tool. It'll catch basic rules and errors, but nothing more. There's no better checker than your own two eyes, or failing that, someone else's. :P

Also also, every time I see the title of this story, I think of this: http://youtu.be/OKAQzS40PeY?t=3m20s

Also also also, you should contact a mod and ask them to remove the spambot comment in 1st. You can find their details in the FAQ.