When a certain white mare develops brain cancer, her friends do everything in their power to make those last days worthwhile.
I was hoping never to need this icon:
Need. More. CHAPTERS!
Your writing is certainly crisp and well-done, but, in my own opinion, the plot seems to be lacking as is. I know that it's far too early in the story to really judge, but there is a certain 'emptiness' about this story that just demands to be filled.
It's probably my own personal past muddying my view of it (one of the reasons why this was incredibly hard for me to even look at), but I feel as though the plot would benefit by not introducing the main tragedy in the first chapter. Give us some time to connect with the characters and their situations, or at the very least foreshadow what might come and leave the announcement until the third or fourth chapter, at the very earliest.
Please continue. Even though It's sad.
>>944945944945 Well then. I hope I don't muck up.
Wow... this is so real. Sof often we say something that might be a little harsh only to realize the other person has a more serious reason than you expected. Another good job.
I shall most definitely track this!
I hate waiting for another chapter for good stories like this.
I almost cried during the 'To Rarity' bit. I can tell that if tears poking out their heads this early in the story, I'm gonna need some tissues for the next chapter.
can't wait for more!
I want to read more but i'm scared
Keep on writing. This is great!
Go on and keep writing.
one thing though: watch your verb tenses. You switch around sometimes and it gets confusing. One example is this:
"It shows how much Sweetie and Rarity love eachother, and a foreshadowing to what'll happen when the time comes. "
I understand you were trying to speak through Twilight's mind but it seems more like you, the writer, are breaking the 4th wall. But don't give up though. At least get it written once or write out the chapters to come before so you have plenty of time to look over what you've written.
i say keep on. there are many SIMILAR stories but this one has it's own charm. ^^- i've read loss. and i agree it's well written but it's just that. well written and SIMILAR, it's not the exact same. and i really like this story
This is story is your own, and don't be intimidated by someone else's! Just keep writing darling, this is excellent
It's a great story and now i'm crying
Please continue it
Please continue this!
Loss was more about the time after Rarity's death, and while I would still like to see your fic explore that area, you could also show us her final days.
Bottom line, I think your story is different enough to be it's own thing, and just thinking about you cancelling it gives me a brain tumor!
When's the new chapter???
I WANT MOAR!!!!
You keep writing and doing you're own thing.
Keep writing your story. Just do your own thing.
Also, be a little more careful about proofreading. I noticed a your where a you're should be...
I Ahgree with everypony here continue this story do not I repeat do not stop.