I'm mainly a pony artist, but I do some fanfic writing on the side. You can find me on deviantART under the same name.
I once had a friend. She was the dearest, most special friend I'd ever had, and she stuck by me in a place where nopony else would. But she's gone now, as well as every good memory I once had. It's all because of a condition I have that not only gives me uncontrollable bouts of rage, but also renders me incapable of remembering most of my life.
I want everything to be okay. I just don't know where to start.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This... was absolutely fantastic. Emotional, captivating characterization, believable situation. Bravo.
Though, the only thing is, where does this story go from here? Honestly I'd think this first chapter as just a normal short story in itself. Figuring out how to recover those memories?
Also noticed you used human years in the journal entry at the beginning. I, myself, really never thought that the year-counting was the same, so wondering if you intentionally did that.
Edge Of Thorns - Savatage
937253 I'm glad you enjoy it.
That is one thing, but I have more planned as well. And I wasn't quite thinking in Equestrian when I put the date. I guess I'll just go with it anyway.
Very compelling start! Friendship really is magic
Its me develray from DA...I promise ill read it later, right now i gotta fix my crap on here......Be warned, there be grammer nazi's everywere.
Not bad, not bad at all.
First of all, great first fic. This was very descriptive, emotional, and, best of all, touching. I'm glad you linked it to the cover pic on DA (great picture, by the way).
Second, I love love love when little details from the show are snatched up and stretched into big, deep stories. I went back and watched the scene in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" you referenced. I had never noticed Raindrops' reaction before! Great job there.
I like how you're shaping Raindrops' condition. I've never seen that type of rage in a fic before. It's an original idea for a background pony that already has me very intrigued. I definitely look forward to more of this story.
Two quick things to check out in the scene where the boss is lecturing them: 1. You use the word "footsteps", which isn't really a big deal but usually it's "hoofsteps" in FiM-fiction. Your choice.
2. You suddenly (and briefly) switch to third person with "Raindrops glanced uncertainly at her co-worker". I think it's supposed to be "I glanced uncertainly", since Raindrops is speaking.
Like I said, I'm excited for more! You are a truly talented artist in many fields, Dawn.
945583 Thank you very much for pointing those out. The story was originally written in third person, but I decided to rewrite it at the last minute.
946459 You're welcome! I never would have guessed; the story works very well in this perspective. Good choice!
It was a really good story and I'm glad I took time to read it!
When I saw this was a raindrop and derpy story I just let out the happiest grin