I'm Comma-Kazie; grammarian, nitpicker, and all-around master of feels.
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Ditzy Doo is the daughter of a prominent family in Canterlot. So why has she shown up at Rainbow Dash's doorstep, years after they last saw each other? Rainbow is willing to go to out of her way to help an old friend, but she may get more than she bargained for: being away from home isn't the only thing Ditzy has to adjust to...
A prequel to the events of both continuities in The Winningverse.
Co-authored by Chengar Qordath.
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Very nice start. I look forward to reading more.
Very well written, few if no grammar mistakes.
Some bits were hilarious, and others sad. Overall very well done.
Thumbs, fav, and sub. I can't wait for chapter 2!
Loved it, I definitely can't wait for more! This is what I'm gonna be like when there's a chance to read more:
Mailman - Soundgarden
Lovin this story mang.......
It's got comedy and sadness, both of em are well executed and not overdone
Believable characters
Overall.....
Look foward to more from you
Maybe this fanfic will help me with this love/hate problem I got with RD.
A strong, promising opening chapter!
This is a well executed start to a story angle that I haven't seen covered before. Unless I am vastly mistaken this story will hook into The Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash/ We'll Bang universe.
I am looking forward to where this is headed.
This is brilliant! Oh I hope we get to hear more about the back-stories behind the other fics, for instance, it'd be great to find out what happened between Cloud Kicker and Fluttershy if it doesn't get mentioned in "The Life and times of a winning pony"
The moment where Rainbow is trying to explain to Pinkie about Ditzy being pregnant instantly made me think of "The incredibly dense mind of Pinkie Pie"
Just noting, in the letter where it says, "He’s mad, madder than I’ve ever seen her", I believe that "her" should be a "him"? Just pointing that out
But overall I think this is amazing so far and I cannot wait to see where this heads
I'm always a sucker for Ditzy-centric stories, and that it's taking place in the same approximate continuity as Winning Pony is just icing on the cake. You've definitely got me looking forward to more.
Words wont work quite write to describy my reactions. So here, have some emoticons.
In order:
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Derpy_Hooves_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
“Nice to meet you!” Pinkie’s grin was so wide that the other two ponies were somewhat amazed it could actually fit on her face. “Anyway, if you’re new in town you must not have very many friends yet, so how about--”
“Oh, that’s just super-duperiffic!” Pinkie cheered. “if you’re one of Dashie’s friends I’ll have to throw you the biggest and bestest welcome party ever!” Pinkie let out a huge gasp. “Wait right here, I gotta go get the Welcome Wagon!”
Did it cut off or am I just missing something?
Anyway, I like how you didn't portray her as a retard.
958285 Ach, stupid gdocs transitions. Thanks for letting me know about that.
957678 Fixed, thank you.
956347 Please let me know if ya find anything--my editors and I are good, but we're only human.
956647 As it turns out, you are not vastly mistaken. There's plenty more on the way!
956647
Yeah, like Kazie said the fics tie together. We collaborate often enough that it's ended up producing a sort of shared universe.
A very promising and well written first chapter. I like how you manage to throw in some funny things and still keep the seriousness of the situation. That's good.
So, yeah, really looking forward to read more
Hmm, seems we have a good mix of humor and sadness. This is definently a story I will be following. Nice to see another story in the Let's Bang universe. I look forward to future updates.
This appears to be a good start to this story. I excitedly await further chapters.
*thumb up and fav*
Duke Polaris University? Is that a 'Flight of the Alicorn' nod?
961259 It is, as a matter of fact. Good eye!
I am upvote #40, and I approve of this story.
Pinkish.... just, wow.
This looks promising. I Look forward to some updates.
Since you asked, I'll add a comment. Simply put, I like where it seems to be heading.
"She's expecting,expecting what?" "well it's supposed to be a baby but we are hoping for a velociraptor."
I was thinking, maybe well this is kinda like a few years before season 1?
Anyway This looks promising. I Look forward to see how it devolps
979471 Here's a handy-dandy graph which explains the timeframe. And rest assured, there's plenty more on the way!
Well done, It kept me interested throughout, and I'm looking forward to updates now.
Liking the story so far, it's rather smooth. A lot less comment wise than my normal things, but that might just be a good thing xD Anyhow, noticed a misspelling "he's mad, madder than I've ever seen her" it should be "him" I think. Dialoges are rather good as well. The characterization of Ditzy is a quite new take, and so is the concept of the story. Possibly offsets the main storyline of MLP, but just possibly, if going with that Sparkler would also be her child, and not adopted, if going with that fanon. (going with how the many six is 13-18 years old. While I rather like the new characterization, I guess the "ditzy" part could be her having sex while in season, or something. Or well, going with the "hard drinks", that would be partially excused, at least if both were intoxicated. (since if not going with estrus, you'd have human standards, and that's 2,5 %'s chance. Can be up to ~20 % if in ~20's and in great condition.) and "manticore back in it's cave" might be more "accurate", but I dunno.
Can she she could likely have just "put in a search" for whomever was at the party. And while I don't really see at least the religious whine about abortion in equestria, I still see them as caring quite a bit about unborn foals. So I'd see it as they are just much more careful of not getting "there" in the first place. Seeing how it would likely not exist such narrow mindedness as our world have. So yeah, her reaction is not entierly random. And not sure if "I a bit burned out" is gramatically accurate. Can say though, dash seems to "over-react" quite a lot to Ditzy's "condition", granted, she might not be very well educated in the matter, but she ought to know that that short in, Ditzy could still be fully active. Heck, I think one can up to like, the 6'th month for a human, equines might be up to the 10'th even. And can say it took me a while to remember the "origin" of this story, and whom Cloud Kicker "is" xP Have to say though, going with how CC seem to have been "active" very early, I really wonder when, how and with whom she started xD
And tbh, it would seem like flight school would cover quite the basics of weather care. Seeing how all pegasi knows how to help do a tornado, kind of. And half-expected something like that to happen xP Though, Dash seems overly worried tbh.Like, overly, overly worried heh. Since as said, it's barely anything, not even a living thing if I recall at this stage. Also, not sure if Pinkie would call her "Dashie", much indicate that they weren't friends before the show. And really, Dash is fuzzing too much imo :P Really starting to wonder what she even think she know's about pregnancy hehe. And yupp, that seems like Pinkie, never be anything by blunt xP And kinda wonder if CC and Dash ever did it. At least going with her attitude towards her hehe. Anyhow, overall, I found it a neat story so far. Hope I don't wall of text too much.
997571
Holy walls of text, Batmare! It's quite okay though, I always appreciate in-depth feedback. First and foremost, thanks for pointing out those errors; I thought I had already fixed those, but I guess not. Oops. My bad.
Though there are also ties to Chenger Qordath's Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash and The Life and Times of a Winning Pony, I'm still working to keep this story in sync with the MLP canon timeline. To that end, I've put together a handy-dandy graph which outlines things in a bit more detail. I'll outline this a bit more clearly in future chapters, but since you brought it up I'll also address Ditzy's pregnancy now: I'm writing this working off of the 11-month cycle equines follow rather than a human's 9-month cycle.
Overall, I'm glad to hear you like my story so far! Rest assured, there's plenty more to come.
998713
And no problem.
You call that wall of text? Wait till you see me in action xD I've made twice as long sometimes, I tend to ramble a bit a trail off
And yeah. I recalled that around halfway in that it was a "relevant" story heh. And I saw the graph, albeit after I posted my previous comment, but still
And I guessed it was the 11 month (thus mentioning the "10'th month") I just thought Dash is over-reacting. It's almost like it's a "we're going to try and make a baby", and she'd be as "flipping out". So I don't think it's "badly written" or such, I just think Dash is panicking/worrying a tad bit much about it. I hope you also include it's almost just us humans that have painful birth due to being bipedal.
And rest assured I will try and read it as it comes out. Not sure exactly how the "follow" system works here though, since some stories updated seems to slip past unnoticed.
So far I'm enjoying this although I noticed a mild continuity error in that Pinkie mentions Gummy in the midst of her rambling even though, according to your timeline, this is set a few years before Gummy was born. (unless, perhaps, the Gummy from the series isn't the first pet alligator with that name she's had or something to that effect)
On another not did I catch a Dresden Files reference with that "Open mouth, insert hoof." line?
I see you and Chengar Qordath have been collaborating a bit, or rather drawing inspiration from one another. I approve!! I love Ditzy/Dash stories!!! Also, fun fact, I commissioned the piece of art you're using for this story!
975489
Clever girl....SKREEE!!!
1165349
No kidding? I hope ya don't mind me using it for this story!
Chen and I have been bouncing ideas off of one another enough that we've developed something of a shared continuity. I wanted to explore Ditzy's backstory for a while, and while I had initially meant for this to be a standalone reinvention of Ditzy's earlier life, Chen was awesome enough to let me tie this in with the events of The Life and Times of a Winning Pony.
Finally got around to reading this, I hope it's still ongoing, would love to see more
1166335
Second chapter is almost done--just one more scenelet to go.
1166339 Excellent, then I appear to have started at just the right time
Looking to release Chapter 13 of St Louis Massacre soon, finishing up Chapter 14 now hehe
How the hell do you two write so fast, but still manage to make it so good?
Faved, thumbed.
Looking forward to Chapter Two. You and Chen are ambitious, but you are certainly making good on your plans. Good on ya both.
And congratulations on putting yet another EqD notch in your belt.
1166740
I have no idea. I just sit down at my keyboard and WHAM! Words appear.
1166860
Thanks!
This was an awesome chapter, liked and faved. Looking forward to see where this is going.
109 ratings and a dislike ain't one.
Congrats on hitting EqD guys!
Saw the post and smiled.
1166965
110 now, haha
oops, already incorrect again.
Not surprising, this looks really promising.
So, is there a name for this continuity yet?
the Kicker-verse perhaps?
Comma-Qord?
This is very promising. I shall fave it in the hopes that it does not get dropped.
Pretty good. didn't want to stop reading even though its 2 am on a school night XD Also. Finaly a story with derpy in it that i actualy want to read! :D
This is interesting and you (the author) are awesome!
So after reading the comments I'm guessing this: 'gasped with enough force to stagger a passing unicorn' isn't Twilight just arriving in Ponyville?
Looking forward to this one. I give it 5/5 derps
Letters are.
Awh, I find it cute how Rainbow totally went into over-protective-mode :3
There are various great bits of how in character Dash is, but the best is despite having her pre griffin the brush off attitude toward Pinkie, it in no way keeps her from eating the welcome cake. Pinkie is obviously also spot on.