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Portmeirion 6935

Joined June 2012
43 followers

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    Portmeirion's Stories (6)

    • Hot Chocolate
      Rarity and Sweetie Belle spend a day together snowed-in at Carousel Boutique. Cuteness ensues.

      4,886 words · 850 views · 82 likes · 0 dislikes
    • Hope
      Fluttershy seeks help from her friends to express her feelings for Big Macintosh.
      18,479 words · 1,836 views · 138 likes · 5 dislikes
    • Lullaby
      Twilight cares for a bedridden Spike. Fluffy cuteness ensues.
      3,575 words · 819 views · 57 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Where the Heart Is
      After an unfortunate mishap, the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempt to run away from home.
      7,683 words · 650 views · 30 likes · 0 dislikes
    • A Change of Seasons
      2,233 words · 208 views · 22 likes · 0 dislikes
    • The Successors
      29,466 words · 491 views · 36 likes · 5 dislikes
    5

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    Ever since Hearts and Hooves Day, Fluttershy has harbored a secret crush on Big Macintosh, but keeping it to herself has caused her to fall into a terrible cycle of depression.  When she finally gets an opportunity to tell him how she feels, she jumps at the chance...though she may need a little help.

    First Published
    19th Jul 2012
    Last Modified
    12th Aug 2012

    Comments ( 109 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    *ahem*

    FLUTTERMAAAAAC!

    That is all.

    Oh, and great story so far, too.

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    YES!!! FLUTTERMAC!!!! ALL OF MY INTERNETS GO TO YOU PORTMEIRION! :eeyup::yay:

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>936557 Thanks!  Nice to meet a fellow FlutterMac fan.

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I shall be watching this. A decent Fluttermac is just what the doctor ordered on my count.

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>936667 Thanks for the internets, friend!

    >>936722 Glad to be of service, and thanks for the comment! :twilightsmile:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh... FlutterMac. Joys.

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Alright, I can see where this is going. Good writing and good start, I'll be watching this.

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    It's not a bad story overall you just should think about looking over your work for the next chapter. there are some grammer issues but overall good job.

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>937103 Grammar issues?  I thought I proofread this quite thoroughly.  Can you name some specific ones?

    Thanks for the compliments, though.  I appreciate the feedback.

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>937118I checked over it again and I couldn't find any glaring flaws. so sorry about that:applecry: great story still

    #11 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>937174 Thanks anyway.  Glad you enjoyed it!

    To all: more is on the way...at some point.  I'm a rather slow writer, but Chapter 2 should be done sometime this weekend.

    #12 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I like how this story is different from other flutterXmacs where she just walks up to him and some how they are intently in love, your story has a bit of subtly that makes it seem more real, good job  

    #13 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>953411 Why thank you!  I was worried that the romance wasn't entirely believable, but I'm glad you think it is.

    #14 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    All good things require effort.  I like how Fluttershy is determined to do this on her own instead of another doing it for her.

    #15 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>953747 That's one of the key things I tried to address here.  I think Fluttershy has really grown more confident over the course of the show, and I wanted this fic to showcase her character development.  Thanks!

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The diary part was....perfect...i dont think you could have done a more exact fluttershy! Be honest...are you secretly fluttershy?:ajsmug:

    #17 · Chapter 1 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>955899 :fluttershbad: Eeek!  I've been found out!  *hides*

    Seriously though, thanks.  I often worry that I don't get the characters' voices properly, so your comment is really encouraging.

    #18 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I thought that it was interesting how you had made Rarity read Fluttershy like it was written on her forehead.:moustache:

    #19 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>956101 I like to think of those two as very close.  Rarity probably knows Fluttershy so well that she can read her like a book when she needs to; plus, we already know that they spend a lot of time together in-canon, so she'd be likely to notice quirks and patterns in her behavior.  Sorry if it seemed too...I don't know, convenient, but it just seemed to work when I wrote it.  Thanks for commenting, at any rate. :twilightsmile:

    #20 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    No it works just fine. Its just that I didn't think that she would have really noticed since she was really focused on the dresses mostly.

    #21 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>956034 it was well deserved! The part where she started apologizing to her diary was....impeccable!

    #22 · Chapter 2 · 43w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>956192 Thank you!  :twilightblush: I was quite pleased with that bit myself.

    #23 · Chapter 3 · 42w, 5d ago · · ·
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    You're a shy pony, and the situation got out of hoof, yet you didn't totaly lose hope, good on you fluttershy

    #24 · Chapter 3 · 42w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Fate always seems to conspire against us huh?  No giving up though!

    #25 · Chapter 3 · 42w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Time for the next round:eeyup:

    #26 · Chapter 3 · 42w, 5d ago · · ·
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    daaaawwwwww:pinkiehappy:

    #27 · Chapter 1 · 42w, 4d ago · · ·
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    This was a triumph.

    Finally, a good Fluttershy/Big Mac that is more than a one-shot.  Seriously.  I have found several excellent Twilight/Big Mac and Rainbow/Big Mac, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for (two song references in one comment?).  This story caught my optic sensors, and is shaping up to be a great story.

    #28 · Chapter 3 · 42w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>997944 Thanks so much for the compliment!  Actually, this originally was going to be a oneshot, but it turned out much longer than I thought it would.  Now I'm really glad it did. :twilightsmile:

    #29 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Sorry about the shortness of this chapter.  Only one more to go, and I promise it'll be of a decent length.

    #30 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    What a good friend Dash is:rainbowdetermined2:

    #31 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Platypus? Eh, as long as one of them is a secret agent, I like the idea!

    #32 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1035394 That wasn't intended to be a reference...but hey, if it works as one, no complaints from me! :twilightsmile:

    #33 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I enjoy combing my My Little Platypus's fur. Makes me feel like a real stallion.

    #34 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    SPOILER ALERT!!!

    (Drive-by critique/editing suggestions such as I do a lot of the time, depending more on my mood than the story. Questions about future events are usually rhetorical.)

    I thought about asking Rainbow to tell

    Rarity for me, but…no.  I can’t do that.  I have to do this for myself.

    -Extraneous line-break.

    fitting a dress onto a mannequin.

    -Interested if you know of the fan-made word "poniquin" or "ponyquin" and what you think of it.

    and frankly looked like it would be very uncomfortable and difficult to move in.

    -Rare mistake by Rarity, or did she warn the client, or is she giving a subtle lesson to a client who wouldn't listen to her warnings?

    Rarity probably knew best.

    -Not necessarily, I could see her getting carried away in that manner, and Fluttershy does appear to know the technical aspects fairly well, even if she is a bit lacking on the aesthetic judgement.

    “It, um…it looks really nice, Rarity,” she said.

    -Technically true, but if the initial showing of the dresses in "Suited for Success" is an indication, Rarity might not find that to be enough... ironically if Rarity adjusted her behavior based on that previous incident, it might cause her problems here.

    is holding a competition in Canterlot for new designers.

    -Ah, that could explain it, if Rarity knows it isn't being graded partially on what the model thinks or what the judges think the comfort level might be. Also, if it is a private enough affair, then Fluttershy might even agree to model again. Granted the first fashion show in "Suited for Success" was with her friends, and it was more Photo Finish abusing her verbally to get the moe look and then getting mobbed in public that she minded in "Green Isn't Your Color".

    I need two dresses to enter,

    -Well, that could mean that Rarity and Fluttershy would model... gives Fluttershy a friend so she won't be nervous... and it would be interesting if Fluttershy ended up in the uncomfortable dress. I wonder if Rarity would notice a slight balding around the rub points? She does notice fine details I think.

    but the deadline is tomorrow night!

    -Well, Fluttershy could help with the sewing.

    So I recycled and expanded upon our old Gala dresses.

    -I see. I wonder if they really are the same sizes. It would seem presumptuous of Rarity to make something specifically fitted to Fluttershy without asking first.

    Mine has been sitting around collecting dust for months now

    -So is this fitted to Rarity, or is she just using that as an example since she doesn't know for sure if the others have been using theirs?

    As if in answer to Fluttershy’s query, a voice rang out from an adjacent room:

    -Ok, so no Fluttershy involvement unless the other Pony has an emergency and they ARE the same sizes.

    “Rarity?  Are you sure this is how I’m supposed to put this thing on?” The voice sounded rather surly,

    -Rainbow Dash?

    and bore a distinct accent which Fluttershy recognized in an instant.

    -Ah, AJ.

    This made things much, much more complicated: Applejack was a very close friend, but she was Big Macintosh’s sister!

    -Yeah, that would be an obstacle (and thus a point of tension in the plot).

    As if she weren’t already nervous enough, now she had this to contend with as well.  Fluttershy frowned.

    -And with a time crunch, asking for time alone with Rarity might be a problem.

    Well, shuffled in is more like it – the dress was so absurdly heavy and ostentatious that she could hardly walk properly.

    -Ah, so a systematic problem... I wonder if Fluttershy will speak up after the Element of Honesty does so? Although I suppose this may be more RD's sort of honesty than AJ's.

    “How the hay is anypony supposed to move in this thing?!” she demanded, barely bothering to keep her frustration in check.  “I can’t hardly move my hind legs without tearin’ this whole dress half to pieces.”

    -No mention of the weight, but I guess that might not be an issue for AJ... or at least not one she would care to mention.

    “I realize it’s not entirely comfortable, but anything less extravagant simply won’t do.  If my designs don’t truly stand out, I’ll have no chance of impressing Scarlet Silk.”

    -Actually, given that sort of name Scarlet may turn out to be the sort of designer whose designs mainly get worn in bedrooms. Nah... Rarity would know something like that.

    The cogs and gears of her socially experienced mind whirred at a frantic pace; and then all at once the answer clicked like a lock.

    -I wonder if she will blurt it out in surprise?

    “Fluttershy,” she said in a soft voice.  “This is about Big Macintosh, isn’t it?”

    -Well, that is better than shouting, but the implication is still that AJ heard.

    Rarity prepared to answer, but was cut off by a small, weak voice: “Yes.”

    -I expect AJ to be "pleased as punch" (certainly AB only had about 5 seconds of "My brother?" in "Hearts and Hooves Day"). The only things I am less certain about is how long she will stare blankly and how loud she will be voicing her approval.

    but she pushed the thought aside; right now, Fluttershy needed her help.  She smiled as well, trying to tell her that everything was okay.  “So how long’ve you been crushin’ on Big Macintosh?”

    -Implicit approval not explicit. Interesting. And is she trying to help on nerves or method of approach?

    “I coulda told you that,” Applejack said with a broad smile.

    -Not seeing how this is relevant per se, but then again I guess that might not keep AJ from saying it.

    He treats everypony he meets with so much kindness and respect,

    -Second time she mention kindness, which makes perfect sense.

    By this point, Rarity had taken hold of a pen and notepad with her magic and was scribbling down notes.

    -I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I guess it does if she is trying to help Fluttershy come up with a script to rehearse/work from to reduce her tension.

    “Even though I know I’m not.”

    -Every time I see something like this from one of the Mane Six, it makes me want to hug the pony in question. Ex-Model, Head Animal Caretaker (including Winter Wrap-Up lead) for Ponyville, Dragon Tamer, Staremaster, one of the Ponies who put the "Revenio" in "Princess Luna Revenio", who were victors over the Arch-fiend Discord, correspondent with Princess Celestia Invicta, and, did she but know it, she whose scream would summon the wrath of nature itself to answer her (since she is more practiced and actually owned favors now, rather than merely being able to summon a swarm of butterflies to save her). She is special beyond belief... oh, wait... special to Big Macintosh, well, that can probably be changed with some effort (actually from a narrative perspective it is almost a sure thing).

    I’m sure you’re special to him, he just doesn’t know it yet.

    -Optimistic way to put it... or does she mean that Big Macintosh probably doesn't realize his own feelings?

    “It’s simple, darling,” said Rarity.  She magically passed her notepad to the pegasus.  “Just tell him this.”

    -Verbatum? Guess that works.

    “You mean…that’s all I have to say?  I-It’s really that simple?”

    -Complexity is generally not needed for such things. I wonder if you have Fluttershy reading too many romance novels with flowery language?

    No gifts, no ceremony, no clever pick-ups?

    -I take it mares giving stallions gifts to win them is more common in Equestria than the equivalent in America where it is more the guys buying stuff for the girls except for birthdays and holidays?

    Well…perhaps simple was the wrong word.  

    -Obviously. That would be true even if this weren't FlutterSHY we were talking about.

    In love, as in all things, you must know when extravagance is appropriate and when it isn’t.”

    -I wonder if the dresses will vindicate her judgement in this matter?

    “I’m guessin’ dresses don’t count as things, right?”

    -This is actually inconclusive.

    -P.S. Regarding the previous chapter: I don't think that the Element of Loyalty would lead off a relationship with an offer of sex.

    #35 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1037235 :pinkiegasp: Oh.  Oh wow, thanks a ton for the critique, I really do appreciate it.  I'd like to go back and address every one of your points individually, but...wow, that's a lot.  I'll probably go back and do a big sweeping series of edits once the whole story is done, and then I'll take all your suggestions into account.  Thanks for all your thoughts - they really do mean a lot to me.

    -P.S. That passage was meant to be taken as a joke; I thought RD made it clear that she was kidding, but I'll try to make it clearer still when I go back and edit it.  Thanks. :twilightblush:

    #36 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1037424

    May not be necessary. There was a bit of a time lapse between reading chapter 1 and chapter 2 for me, and I had entirely forgotten what Dash suggested, and I didn't keep re-reading when I went back to check.

    #37 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    A FlutterMac fic?  *marks for later reading*

    #38 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    That was a clever idea of giving them something to bond over

    Good Job :pinkiehappy:

    #39 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1037562 Oh my gosh!  I'd be honored if you were to read my fic.  I'm a huge fan of your work!

    >>1038528 Thanks!

    #40 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 4d ago · · ·
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    That cake sounded like if you took a bite, you would explode from chocolate over load.

    #41 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1038777

    I have...fans?:rainbowhuh:

    *squee!*:yay:

    #42 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 4d ago · · ·
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    (Sorry for the double-post, my edit to the previous one wouldn't take)

    I like how this is going thus far, I can see a lot of care has gone into writing it. :twilightsmile:

    ...And I would *so* totally watch a show called "My Little Platypus". :twilightblush:

    #43 · Chapter 4 · 41w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1042732 Thanks a ton!  Your compliments mean a lot to me.  This one won't be much longer, but I'm so glad you're liking it.

    And yes, you do have fans.  The two fics you've written are both among my top 10 favorites in the whole fandom.

    >>1039844 It does, doesn't it?  I'd love to try a bite of it myself, really.

    #44 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    *cough* you skipped chapter 5...

    #45 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1051055 :facehoof: Yeah, I noticed.  My mistake.  It's fixed now.

    #46 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Another excellent installment.  An incredibly believable choice by Rainbow Dash, trying to help out Fluttershy with romance, but overstepping herself.  Always like to see Rainbow and Fluttershy as best friends, and not as a couple themselves.

    #47 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    It's nice to see that Mac and Cheerilee can still be friends.

    #48 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1051189 Thanks again!  I like to think Rainbow and Fluttershy consider one another best friends, even among the mane six.  "Hurricane Fluttershy" convinced me of that.

    >>1051190 It is, isn't it?  I think they'd get along really well, even if they're not romantically involved.  They're both just so friendly.

    #49 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Dang I love this story so far. And the random cafe employees was a good addition to the setting.:rainbowlaugh:

    #50 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #51 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Spontaneous Combustion is best pony.

    #52 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This, this is good. You have definitely managed to capture my attention. Well written and it doesn't seemed forced. Liking how you are taking time to make some actual development. You have my gratitude for not making another, 'I love you. Oh? I've always loved you too. Then they lived happily ever after' fics that run rampant on the site.

    On a side note, for some reason when you were talking about Big Mac and Fluttershy having something in common, I had it in my mind that they both wanted to be trees. I went as far as to bet myself twenty quid on the subject. What happens when you lose a bet with yourself? Who knows! I'm off topic.

    Great fic, keep it up!

    Hunter C. Creed

    #53 · Chapter 5 · 41w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1056693 Thanks for the feedback!  This one won't be much longer (probably only one more chapter) but I'm glad you're enjoying it. :twilightsmile:

    #54 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Way to go your jerk! You gave me diabetes with this story.

    In all honesty great story it gave me the warm fuzzys. Hmm what? It's the diabetes? Oh well.

    Can't wait for your next fic!:pinkiehappy:

    #55 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    :yay:

    #56 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1073609 Sorry about the diabetes.  It ain't fun, I know.  But I'm glad you liked the story!

    >>1073621 :twilightsmile:

    #57 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Great story. :pinkiehappy: Well... Time to demand a sequel...

    :flutterrage: GIV SEEKWEL!!!

    #58 · Chapter 4 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I see the My Little Pony reference in the My Little Pony fanfiction.

    But seriously, platypus? lol. :facehoof:

    #59 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1073765 Perhaps eventually.  I've got a few other projects lined up, but I'll definitely consider coming back to this one at some point.  Thanks!

    #60 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1073776 Well, at least it starts with a 'p,' right? Heh heh...:twilightblush:

    #61 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    #62 · Chapter 4 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    I see what you did there :twilightsmile:

    I also see what Dashie did, slick :rainbowdetermined2:

    Four in an I'm liking this! Pacing is spot on :D

    #63 · Chapter 4 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1074126 Thanks! Glad you're liking it.

    #64 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Rainbow became a winner in one fell swoop, and thus concludes a story I really enjoyed.

    Kudos and etc to you, my good man.

    #65 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1074529 Thank you!  I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    #66 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    ...*squee!*:yay:

    Definitely adding this to my favorites list. :twilightsmile:

    #67 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1074710 Thank you!  I'm so glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

    #68 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    good ending:yay:

    #69 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1077412 Thank you!  I was a little worried that it wasn't any good, but I'm glad you thought it was.  Thanks again!

    #70 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    *sniff* beatiful:fluttercry:

    #71 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1077698 Aw, thanks!

    #72 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Yay! That was really good, I'm glad that you shared your work with us.

    #73 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1078673 Thank you!  And thanks for following me as well.

    #74 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Hooray, happy ending! :heart: My heart grew 1.2 sizes today!

    #75 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1080552 Hooray indeed!  Glad to have been of service, friend; and thanks!

    #76 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 2d ago · 1 · ·
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    I DEMAND AN EPILOGUE RIGHT NAO!!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

    #77 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1091528 Perhaps eventually.  I'm working on some other projects at the moment, but I'll certainly come back to this one at some point.  I'm afraid "RIGHT NAO" just isn't in the cards, though.  But thanks for reading!

    #78 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1091677 That's a funny way of saying you're going to worn on an epilogue right now. :scootangel:

    #79 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I lurved this from start to finish. Wonderful job illustrating the daunting hurdle Fluttershy's social anxiety created! Best FlutterMac I've read, easily.

    #80 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1094547 Wow, thanks!  There are a lot of FlutterMac fics out there, so I'm flattered.

    #81 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Good for you, Fluttershy. Oh, and great story.

    #82 · Chapter 6 · 40w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>1101408 Thank you!

    #83 · Chapter 6 · 39w, 10h ago · · ·
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    Couldn't stop smiling :fluttershyouch::eeyup: yay. Moustache for you :moustache:

    #84 · Chapter 6 · 39w, 9h ago · · ·
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    >>1152295 Woohoo!  Moustache powah! :moustache:  Thanks, pal!

    #85 · Chapter 4 · 37w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Only just now it occurred to her that she had forgotten breakfast that morning; this piece of cake was the first thing she’d eaten all day.

    Didn't Fluttershy eat part of a sandwitch last chapter?

    #86 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1204429 :facehoof: Whoops.  Yeah, my mistake there.  Thanks for pointing that out, I'll take care of it.

    #87 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 4d ago · · ·
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    I enjoyed this fic, it was nice and sweet. Very good work, Sir/Ma'am.

    #88 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>1216333 Thank you very much!  (It's sir, by the way :moustache:)

    #89 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I haven't read many FlutterMac fanfics, though it's my favourite non-slash ship, but this one is by far the best I've read. It seems like you rushed a bit here, at the ending. You made a few more mistakes and left out a word or two, but it's no big deal. Great job on getting the punctuation and grammar correct. Overall, it's a great story, and I'd like to see more of these. Good job. :yay:

    #90 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1224695 Thanks for the feedback!  I'm sorry the ending seemed rushed; I have a tendency to do that.  But I'm glad you liked it!

    #91 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1225683 Be honest. . .Have you taken any writing lessons? :unsuresweetie: I wouldn't be surprised. Your expertise in writing shows here.

    #92 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1225761 I have, actually - thanks for noticing.  I'm an English major with a minor in creative writing, so I've taken quite a few courses on the subject.

    #93 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1225783 Are you considering a career in writing? You're clearly an expert.

    #94 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1225863 Thanks a ton - I don't know if I'd say expert... :twilightblush:  ...but thanks!  

    And yes, I am aiming for a career in writing.  Fanfiction is actually good practice, I've discovered.

    #95 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1225964 Oh, don't be so modest. :raritywink:

    (Sorry for the late response. I don't mean to be rude.)

    #96 · Chapter 6 · 37w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>1226591 Oh no, it's okay.  But really, thanks for the praise. :twilightsmile:

    #97 · Chapter 6 · 36w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Lovely, lovely work. I've found fanfiction is good practice for more practical forms of writing, too.  Once you get use to actually producing something on a regular basis, it gets easier to apply that mode to your other works. Anyway, I really, really enjoyed this. It was very sweet. Look forward to seeing what else you churn out! :twilightsmile:

    #98 · Chapter 6 · 36w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1257124 Thanks!  I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, and I really appreciate the feedback.  I'll try not to disappoint!

    #99 · Chapter 1 · 35w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Only read the first chapter at this point, and I have to say, great story so far (I'll most likely comment again once I catch up). Also, I just absolutely loved this part:

    “And then,” continued Rainbow, “you say something totally clever.  Like, ‘Hey, big fella.  Wanna come back to my place and buck my apple tree?’”

    It made me think, "My Little Pony: The PG-Rated version". Seriously, I could see Rainbow actually saying that. :rainbowlaugh:

    I'll probably go further into detail with my next comment, once I actually get the latest. :twilightsmile:

    Also, solely because I love this icon, I'm gonna put it here: :flutterrage:

    #100 · Chapter 6 · 35w, 5d ago · · ·
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    >>1289341 Hehe, thanks for the comment!  I'm glad you're liking it so far.

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