Hmm.. interesting concept.  Tracking...

I like it so far, maybe a few transition words?  It feel a littly choppy, I just can't put my finger on how...

Yea, no.  I can't put my finger on it.

I like.

For any of you thinking this is a take on Twilight you can go shoot yourself,

some people are gonna be dead today ;/

The main seems to be... Vinyl?

And she seems smarter than fanon gives her credit for.

This has potential to being a great story I was exspeting the professor to say " you shall not Pass"

good first two chapters!

an error i noticed:

“Yo Pinks!” Vinyl exclaimed, waving the energetic pony down.

i do believe they're humans in this one

*Looks at cover image*

Can I like, screw Vinyl's brains out? Damn you JJ for making godly hot humanizations.

Anyways, this looks interesting... I'll track it :3

Might wanna proof yourself or get a proofer- there where a few mistakes here and there, spelling, and some I's not capitalized

Err wait its you. Your probably already have a proofer. Might wanna use em.

Auto upvote. Of its you, its good. And Vinyl is best pony.

>>928475928475 Well her pants are already unbuttoned and unzipped.

>>928195928195

Yes but he need the Balrog for that, and he should have been Gandalf the white as that reincarnation is more powerful, but it is really good.

>>928195928195if you go to my story Equestria University he says it there, forgot to put it in here.

>>928394928394 *facepalm* DAMNIT!

>>928555928555 fun fact both of these chapters were written while people were watching on gdocs, they missed it and so did i so Nyah!

A Promising start, got a thumbs up and Watch from me, looking forward to how this progresses, mainly cause I see Vinyl paired up with Octavia too much but TwixVinyl might become a new Favourite for me

twilight? check.

Highschool? check.

vampires/demons? check.

makings of a classic dark story. gonna love this

>>932717932717 dunno if it's going to be dark yet. if it is I'll swap the random tag out for it

>>931993931993 I do have an OctyScratch that I'm going to revise when s3 comes out, but yeah. you can see my progress on Gdocs as well, the link is in a blog post

forgive the transitioning and pacing with SHining, dunno why I flopped there so hard...I'll do better on his next scene, wherever that may be

>>933910933910 Will Twilight and Vinyl do MMA? I need spoilers people or hints.

>>934330934330 if it was mentioned there's a 50-50 chance it will or won't happen

>>933910933910 Will Twilight and Vinyl do MMA? I need spoilers people or hints.

I foresee Twilight handing something 'Great and Powerful' to the unfortunate soul that takes her on.

Nice story there dood, no complaints here.

>>935942935942 : P.

AMS will have magical duels. plus the MMA

Image: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2012/01/Lets-Guess-Which-Harry-Potter-Scenes-Daniel-Radcliffe-Filmed-While-Inebriated/_jcr_content/par/cn_contentwell/par-main/cn_blogpost/cn_float_container/cn_image.size.s-harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-part-2.jpg

FOR THE CRUMPETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzdX5QnrCykJ4zmwCFi3bnQu4WFL6G-Z6UaI7EkDb0RNoRKCFU

FOR THE CRUMPETS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously? Gandalf?

>>936681936681 Eeyup. I've come up with so many OCs it's hard now so I like to use other characters, this is a remake of EQU so I decided to use a lot of the same things : P

hey my chapters are getting longer. before they used to be 1.2-1.5k. now they're in the 2k more than half the time eh? hope you guys appreciate that!

Where are the damn Vampires?!

>>937113937113 This is getting good. I was kinda hoping Prince was going to get his kicked oh well

How long has this story been out and it already ha four chapters? Your nickname is know darkminigun cause you write so fast.

i think you might rember me, im that guy who complained about your stories comeing out too fast

is spike the same age as twlight also where the human tribes was  ponies at one point

>>937167937167 they be coming, don't worry. We're still introducing stuff! these first 5 chapters are more like the Prologue.

>>937366937366 a few days, lol I already have the title 'industrial sized printing press' from my  other stories haha.

>>937557937557 Spike is 15, a freshman, while everyone else is a Sophomore, 16, and the princesses are Juniors, 17. and no they weren't ponies, they just had the special things about them. they were still human. and yeah I remember you, you are the .01% that doesn't enjoy fast updates

>>937591937591

>>937590937590 i don't mind you updateing frequently as long it is good the story I complain about  crisim dawn because it  got boring for me

>>937590937590

Yeah I read a couple of you other stories, great story that Crimson Night it was, after they were finished. And I figure that I should give you a now nickname to laugh about.

You update again. WITHIN THREE HOURS!? Stops and looks for lower jar and snaps it back in place. Dam, fuck darkminigun, your new nickname is hypertyper592.

i do want to see gore and Gilda being i hope you put a twist about twilight's new friends* make them non human*  and you can finish the rest

>>937886937886 I have no idea what you just said...

>>937975937975 2 things 1 omg you write fast

2nd>>937886937886

Light gore is cool with me. Like have blood or maybe an injury that's so bad they can see bone but no actual loss of the limb. And NO torture. I absolutely hate that shit.

GET THE MATURE TAG ON!!!!!!!!!!

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kQ_B1uuO_4k/T214h0ZPYRI/AAAAAAAAATY/SIX_lNdDAUc/s1600/fluttershy_canon.png

Great story my friend

your a great writer can't wait to seem more, oh and consider my idea thanks  now go to bed, you need your rest so contune writing towmarow

XDDDD Three chapters in one day

>>938379938379 please don't do this if they're that minor please. if you must correct me then correct me when I'm writing it on Gdocs. major mistakes are fine, but most of that is easily looked over.

>>938436938436 but it's only 10:10...

>>938509938509 if you're in my time zone it's about to be four

omg 3 chaptes in a row

>>938706938706 OMG SO MUCH

Twi is lucky. I'm jealous. Anybody else want it trade her spots?

>>938706938706 Hey, I'm in your time zone. Yay! Four chapters!

>>938706938706

Ur sentences are getting to sound like run ons, bro.

Be a lil more liberal with comma's,it MAY help.also the odd capitalization error

Dont rush for our sake, go as fast as u want

I i love the story and setting

Great job so far

>>939025939025 people like you make me laugh. I never rush, I've only ever rushed three chapters in my entire writing career. you say write as fast as I want? That's what I've been doing. I start and I just can't stop.

>>939138939138

I am happy that i make you laugh and i laugh with you

I know exactly how u feel

Also, u prob dont re/proofread

Not trying to be offensive btw, just trying to give a few pointers

Tell me if i should stop

Still, some of the capitalization/punctuation seems off.

And yet, this story makes top five on my list