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72w, 5dState of the Uncle7 comments · 454 views
Is there a stated rule anywhere, or even a suggestion for what we're supposed to blog about on this site? That's not a serious question. I'm pretty sure there isn't beyond the mandate that content not be illegal or otherwise upsetting, and if you're gonna talk about dirty stuff you gotta put it behind a nsfw cut? I try to keep my blogging to fanfic, or at least ponies, but I have to fight the occasional urge to just do random biopic crap that nobody cares about. I've already done that with my Tumblr, it really doesn't have anything to do with my actual fanfic anymore, I should save this one for talking about that.
I really want to turn the "Stranger" chapter of Comfy and Easy to Wear into something a little longer. As may be evidenced by the fact that I wrote a god damn My Little Pony and Aliens crossover I really like having the pones interact with big huge scary things. Thing was, dragging a random original character out of another dimension and into Equestria doesn't really feel organic to the setting. Well, I guess now it does now that we know Celestia has magic mirrors serving as interdimensional portals in her basement, but I think the fewer story cues I take from Equestria Girls the better.
I think I have an idea for an OC I can work into the setting better though. I just have to hope that people will be positively inclined towards a story about an OC. Well, I'll worry about that when I get to it, I'm not taking on any big projects until I finish Distance. Which is going about as slowly as I expected and much more so than I'd like, but I'm still plugging along. I keep having existential crisises in the middle of it though, reading other Twilestia fics that are infinitely more awesome than anything I could ever hope to accomplish and second guessing everything I write. I gotta work through that! I might rewrite the first chapter a little bit. I don't know. I liked the tone, but now that I'm writing some more involved scenes between characters I'm starting to realize that my tendency to avoid an omniscient narrative style kind of hinders my portrayal of emotion. I'd like to have the characters express what they're feeling through their actions and words during a conversation instead of relying on "Twilight felt x and Celestia though y and then they started to lick each others' z". But... I'm not very good at it. Oh well, practice makes perfect.
Thanks for listening to me ramble about this, it makes me feel a lot better to get this stuff out and write it down. At least I'm writing something...
24 comments · 509 views
Six ponies sat around the table in Rarity's den, each of them concentrating on the playing cards in their hooves. Fluttershy's ear twitched a bit as she tapped her hoof on a pile of chips.
"... you know," she said carefully, "he's been in there an awfully long time."
The other ponies looked up from their cards in surprise, blinking at the sweet cream colored pegasus. She blushed and sank down in her seat just a little bit.
"He really has," said Rainbow Dash, "feels like it's been months, even."
"Someone should go check up on him," said Applejack.
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle just turned to look at Rarity. Her eyebrows slowly lowered in a titanic scowl.
"Why does it have to be-"
"Fine! I hope you all get papercuts."
Rarity placed her cards facedown on the table and trotted across the room and down the hall. Pausing at her bathroom door, she took a deep breath, and then very softly knocked. "Friendly Uncle? Are you alright in there?"
Somewhere in the room beyond the door Rarity hear somepony take a sharp breath, followed by a very low, whispered, "Almooooost..."
Then Rarity heard the most obscene noise that had ever emerged from a pony's bowels, followed by a loud splash. The fashionista's jaw dropped in unmitigated horror as the noises continued, almost drowning out the cries of "It's coming out! It's coming out! At long last, it's coming out!!!"
"Friendly Uncle?" called Rarity, "I just want you to know that is absolutely disgusting and I'm going to wall you in there!"
"Bite me, Squiggletail!"
Meanwhile, Luna frowned at her sister, who was pointing her telescope at Ponyville, making careful adjustments to the instrument as she attempted to get a closer look at something.
"I only wish to be certain that I understand," said the Princess of the Moon, "the bowel movement is a metaphor for his creative output?"
"Exactly," said Princess Celestia, squinting into the eyepiece.
"... and you are watching?"
"I think I'm going to be sick."
"I want to see what he's doing!" grumbled Celestia defensively. "Come on you friendly asshole, you promised me a love scene with Twilight Sparkle, don't make me come down there...!"
86w, 4dReports of my demise, etc.20 comments · 670 views
Bleah, it's been a while since I've touched this thing. Look at all the dust!
I'd like to apologize for not updating. Fact of the matter is I wanted to. I really really did. But I had a bit of a personal crisis towards the end of last year that took up a lot of mental energy that normally would have been spent on writing fanfiction. I'd rather not go into the details. Suffice to say I didn't feel very friendly. And I didn't want to come back empty handed! I've been determined to finish the next chapter of Distance, or put up another short story, or something.
You may notice that hasn't happened.
Darned if I know what it is. It's the single most spectacular case of writer's block I've ever had. There are aborted attempts at writing littering my hard drive right now and I don't know what to do with any of them. It just ain't coming. And trying to force it hasn't helped.
So I'm just going to stop stressing over it. It'll happen eventually I'm sure, but I couldn't say when. I still love those friendly candy colored mini horses, but I just can't get into the right mindset to do anything with them. Maybe I need to read more fanfic. Maybe I need to watch some episodes again.
Maybe I should post that random as hell porn ficlet I crapped out a million years ago. Anyone want some porn? It's humanized, but it's cute. I think.
I'm not quitting, I'm just really tired. Consider this a belated hiatus announcement.
I'm going to go to bed and try not to think about how much I'm disappointing everyone for a change, and maybe once my neck muscles un-knot I'll be able to make some sense out of some of these scraps. ...is this a paragraph about the Cutie Mark Crusaders discussing boners yes I think that's what this is was I high when I wrote this what the hell...
98w, 3dHearthswarming Eve Contest7 comments · 219 views
Your friend and mine, fellow pony fanfic author Andrew Joshua Talon, is holding a contest this holiday season. Simply read one of his fanfics and find a scene you feel deserves artistic representation in a visual medium, and then represent it artistically. We want to see some fanart, basically. And for your contribution AJT will be rewarding prizes of money dollars. So get your pencils or digital styluses or whatever it is you kids use to produce graphic images these days and let’s see what you can do.
I personally would love to see some fanart of Natrix getting defenestrated, but that is purely a suggestion.
101w, 2dSo, how about that season premier?58 comments · 229 views
Without spoiling anything I think I can safely say... I liked it. I thought it was pretty good. Not spectacular. Doesn't hold a candle to season 1 and 2, or even season 2's finale, but still really nice. I laughed a bit, and I was actually really nervous towards the end, so the dramatic tension is there. I saw that last twist coming from a mile away, but it was still nice. Celestia is best troll.
Speaking of which, I am taking Celestia's referring to Twilight as "dearest" as proof that Distance is canon. Applejack and Rarity is also canon. I'm just saying. You can argue with me about this but you will not win. Twilestia is best ship. Rarijack is up there.
(I also like Flarity, but it doesn't have to be canon, I'm comfortable with that being AU.)
Speaking of Distance, I need to get off my ass and finish chapter 2. Time for some ponies getting dirty...