Watch out for telling.

Let the details of the story come out naturally instead of telling us lots of information unnaturally.

That was a nice little story. I've only got two things to say about it though: I found a couple grammar errors, and the inserts about the other stories were jarring. Anyway, it was good, short, and simple to read.

6/5

The ending made me dawwww

DAWWWW. Seems legit. Scootaloo owns a delivery service, Applebloom- a hardware franchise, and Sweetiebelle- a contract with Vinyl Scratch.

No, I don't want to read another fan fiction.

Short, sweet, and nice chapter though. Hopefully you'll do the same for the others.

This was a nice little story.  I liked it.

Too short to be that enjoyable. It seems like this is only a preview of some epic saga unfolding the entire CMC's lives.

There are quite a few grammar errors as well, but none that make the story unreadable. 8/10 would read again.

very cute

i wondered what kind of talent she would have after building the cutiemark crusaders clubhouse, but this sums it up

cute :) but i don't think Diamond Tiara would be so nice

Good job! Like I think a few have said, I too found some grammatical errors. You might want to have somebody check over those for you.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

One thing I want to ask is that you had Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo point out to Applebloom that Zecora was intentionally sabotaging her own furniture and yet she still goes on doing the repairs, is there something I missed?

>>914665914665 She was being sarcastic. And no Scootaoo DIDN'T steal her face afterwards!

Well, I'm going to have good dreams.

This story was a mixture of amazing, cute, and sort-of sad. (for me at least) The grammatical errors are nothing that bad for me. Most of them are just a shortage of commas and improper use of them. Since the story has a colon in it, does that indicate this will be part of some epic saga? I love this entire story, but it was way too short to be of any impact onto your heart. I love your ideas of the CMC's jobs in mare-hood.

Epic saga please!

And, as I have said before: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Edit: BTW, who is Red Delicious. I don't know all the background ponies very well.

I find it odd that Applebloom and Scootaloo got their marks at roughly the same time, talk about coincidence.

>>914716914716 i sensed that.. but being called DT? i don't think so... steal her... what???

Only question I have after this is why Fluttershy wasn't mentioned at all and why we have heard nothing about what they may have done for the CMC?

nice :) but why are dt and scootaloo friends now?

Nice. That's all from me.

dawwww. that was such a sweet story

A very creative story! I like it! There's certainly a good amount of info in here, but overall, it's really good! I like it so far! 5/5!

>>915160915160

Because eventually everyone grows up.

What a cute story, quick, easy to read and gives a little more insight to the 3 characters. That mad my day

Bravo sir.  You have crafted a fine piece of work here.  One thing I might suggest is instead of inserting the references to your other stories in the middle of this story, maybe an author's note at the beginning or end.  As it is right now, those inserts break the natural flow of the story.  Still, I give this a solid 9/10.

Author gains 25 exp and a moustache.

l love this.

A story this short shouldn't have this many typos; also it feels pretty uninspired and has bad story-telling throughout... it gets a dislike from me.

>>914738914738 It's possible. Diamond Tiara and Twist got their cutie marks within a couple days of each other. That's probably what happened here.

D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Except the Sonic Rainboom is achieved at roughly Mach 5. Scoots has a long road ahead of her to get that kind of speed. Still, the premise is good.

As for the rest of the story? Keep working on your writing. You've got potential but it needs some work.

>>11267791126779

Thanks, though I assure you my previous stories were a great deal less aggravating.