The approaching shitstorm, will be legendary.

Interesting concept, and good grammar!

I can't wait to see where you go with this.

>>912918912918

Image: http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/21449285.jpg

>>912942912942 Don't get me wrong, I have no grievances with the story, hell the grammar, formatting, and storytelling are fine. Better than most actually. It's just the fact that it's an alicorn story with an OC generator picture. That's gonna cost the author something serious.

Oh the things I can say...but this has got to be the worst way to bring about an alicorn, and I saw two rainbows FUCKING to bring Unicorns!

The Oc alicorn isn't even ROYALTY, which all alicorns should be, because it MAKES SENSE.

I give this story my "Geon's Seal of DISAPPROVAL". BURN IT.

>>912918912918 One of these days, I will get to a story first!

You are now my arch rival. XD

The grammar is good, the characters all felt in-character, and the story itself is fine. Get's a thumbs up from me. Not sure what all this 'Brace for impact! Shitstorm Incoming!' is about.

>>912963912963 If you do, I'll remember to use this.

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5Z5BW0qiFvE/Tb2qfSw2WcI/AAAAAAAAAIg/LGpXs-X0SUw/s320/Blue%2Bshell.jpg

>>912980912980 It's the pony simulator cover and the alicorn concept.

Two things that drives us apeshit.

>>912990912990 Doit.

>>912963912963

Alicorns need to be royalty?

Honestly, I am not seeing why there should be bees in bonets over alicorn stories.

>>912990912990

I'll give you the generator cover art. That's normally a big turn-off for me. If I wasn't so bored waiting for some of my more favourite stories to update I probably wouldn't have opened this story just because of the art. But then I'd have missed out on something decently written.

And I thought people didn't mind Alicorn stories?   Or is it just original character alicorn stories and Mane Six getting wings is more acceptable?

>>913010913010

Many bees in bonnets tend to be had over alicorn stories. The "loving and tolerant" fanbase is apparently very unloving and intolerant of alicorn stories.

>>913010913010 Look at the Princesses. Even Chrysalis qualifies as one.

they're all alicorns. The golden rule:

In order to make a OC alicorn work: it must be royalty.

I mean, it's a practically legendary creature.

>>913010913010

I agree. I'll never understand why people hate Alicorn OCs. A badly designed character, yes, but just for being an Alicorn, no. The story is actually a good one and I will definitely be tracking this one. Excellent first chapter.

>>913024913024

That's a shame. I was planning a story where the mane six were alicorns, and had alicorn foals, and had to escape to earth, and then had to fight Discord in an epic Disco Battle in order to rescue Elvis and the Beattles.

=^.^=b

I suppose I have to agree with everyone else it doesnt very well make sense if the alicorn isn't royal

>>913033913033 Think about it like this:

There are only 3 Alicorns. Period. Unless Hasbro makes more. All 3 of them?

Royalty.

That's why. People make them out to be COMMON. Like EARTH PONIES.

It's like making a legendary pokemon, a pokemon like Mewtwo, when there's supposed to be one and one only, into millions. And they're badly colored.

See where I'm going with this?

-------------

>>912956912956 Hits the nail on the head. If the Alicorn OC was a bit more...IDK, not common? You get what I'm trying to say? These are legendary creatures, here. Not earth ponies.

Also, I hate Pony creator covers. They reek bad fic.

>>912980912980 Just sit and wait a while, then you will see what their on about...

like that it's original

>>913065913065 He's not really making them out to be common. I mean, he did put this line in:

"Alicorns are the most powerful of all ponies," Rarity said. "The birth of an alicorn is a monumental event. In the last fifteen hundred years, only four alicorns have been born, including the foal that arrived today."

Maybe he's proposing that they're not necessarily born royal, but become royalty due to being Alicorns? He hasn't done anything bad, so why are we acting like he has?

>>913065913065

That is pokemon though. The lore for Mewtwo was that there is only one. An Alicorn doesn't have to be royalty. We only see 3 Alicorns in the show. Until they specifically say that they are the only 3 or that every Alicorn is part of the royal family it is still up for interpretation by fans. If he wants to have his Alicorn to be born to a Unicorn and a Pegasus it makes sense to me because of genetics. The chances of an Alicorn are slim to none though.

Dear writer, DO NOT let the hate get to you nor influence your story arc. If every OC alicorn is royalty, none of them are. Keep doing you, keep on truckin.

>>913065913065

Except that it's stated in the story that the OC Alicorn is in fact only the 4th one born in the last few thousand years, the others being Celestia, Luna, and Cadance. So they are rare, extremely so, even in the context of this story. Which actually makes a little plot hole, if they are so rare, why is Twilight required to be present for the birth of any foal with a Pegasus and Unicorn lineage?

I don't think it is fair to judge a story on the basis it has an OC Alicorn, and one of those ugly eye-roll inducing generated pictures. . .  Okay, maybe the later a little tiny bit. >.> ... <.<

A story written by

MythrilMoth? Shit....count me in. Let me know if you need any advice, help or ideas, I got your back....got a great feeling about this story

>>913104913104 It's because it's so...weird to see a Unicorn and an Pegasus do the nasty, and that equals Alicorn?

I can see where he comes from on this, being both ponies share the DNA required or something, but it's just..so....weird to see in action.

I'll explain why most people hate Alicorn OC's below.

>>913112913112 Fine and dandy, but to people like me? Which, btw, 98% of the fanbase share this ideal (Random percentage, but we overweight the people like you) think that an alicorn should stay just the 3. I mean, Cadence wasn't supposed to even be an alicorn. Hasbro called the shots there.

And it's not just PKMN , it happens just the same with people who think there should be more of something they shouldn't touch. They make PKMN OC's and make 'em legendary PKMN.

In this story? Not a problem, but the fact remains, that people like me are just gonna hate it, because the alicorn race shouldn't be fiddled with.

>>913140913140 Look up. that's why we hate it.

>>913149913149

I can understand that. I don't agree, but I can understand. But instead of coming in and posting negative comments off the bat you should just not bother opening the story. Not everything is going to appeal to everyone. If you know something wont be for you, then don't go there. It'd be like going to an opera and booing because you don't like opera singing.

I almost didn't bother because of the cover art. I'm glad I did read the story though as it actually isn't bad.

>>913104913104 Because alicorns are so devilishly overpowered it's just not fun to read about them. Even if they are foals.

Omg its its a grouping of my favorite concritters!!!

HI GUYS!!!

Very neat concept!

Tell you what author. I'm an artist, and I wouldn't mind making a new cover for you. Just give me a few days to work on it, and I'll send you a link. Nice story, favorites, and watched.

Keep writing. Don't let the supposedly loving and tolerant fans put you down. You got supporters, and we'll back you up to the end!

Im genuinely interested to see where you take this, although Mr Ignorable's lecture on Alicorns  is still quite fresh (He wrote a section on them in a new writers group). However, the story seems to have gained popularity (And most of the good kind ) will track and see how this goes, goodluck!

>>913184913184 Understandable.

That's why I thumbed this up. the story (If I ignore the fact it's a...ugh....OC ALICORN....) is alright.

His grammar and everything else is fair, and there's no real glares.

>>913667913667

You did? I just assumed you were one of the thumbs down.   Stupid on my part. I'm sorry.

Wow, this one got a lot of attention in a hurry!

To address everypony's comments and concerns here:

First off, to those who are enjoying this story and awaiting more, thanks! I assure you, you won't be disappointed.

To those who didn't like this for one reason or another: I'm very sorry to hear that, but alas, you can't please everypony.

On the question of alicorns needing to be royalty: Bullshit. An alicorn can exist without being royalty, there's no rule saying they can't. Also, as has been pointed out by those who actually read the story, it's specifically noted that alicorns are INCREDIBLY rare, and Velvet Frost's birth is a HUGE event.

Regarding the cover art: I can't draw. Even if I could, I have no tablet and no scanner. So I have to make do with what I have access to, which means Pony Creator. Sorry if that's a big taboo around here; didn't realize Pony Creator was a berserk button around here. Once somepony donates a better cover (thanks, GunslingerWhiteRose! The offer is MUCH appreciated), I'll toss the PoCr image. That having been said, I think it's a LITTLE silly to overreact to PoCr cover images. Not every writer can draw.

Concerning Twilight Sparkle being present for the birth: it's purely a matter of protocol, since Celestia is aware that an alicorn COULD result from the pegasus/unicorn pairing, it's just not LIKELY to. That makes sense, right?

Anyway, thanks to all who commented favorably and are looking forward to more of this; I'll try not to keep you in suspense too long. For those who didn't like it for whatever reason, that's too bad, but I understand. For those overreacting to it because of the OC Alicorn or the PoCr cover art: I respect your opinions, but perhaps you should've kept them to yourselves? I'm just saying.

>>913692913692 Baaah. I never said! XD

You wouldn't have known anyway!

>>913695913695 hmmm...that right there deserves a watch. you took my criticism, and you didnt get pissed. That is respect to the fullest.

Have a watch.

And you know what? I'll fav your story too. I think I was too hard on the story anyhow.

>>913708913708

Thanks, Geon. And hopefully you'll enjoy my other stories as well.

I've been writing fanfiction for over 15 years. I've long since learned how to accept criticism gracefully.

>>913736913736 Awesome.

And will do. Anyways, I should PROBABLY get back to my HiE. I got BIG plans for it, and people all over my board are getting ANTSY.

That and they want my Donkey Kong/Daring Do crossover. XD

this reminds me....I need an artist! D:

>>913708913708

Took your comment to remember that I had yet to actually Fav the story.   

>>913695913695

Nice, you're getting gift cover arts! Congrats.   

>>913747913747 No worries. XD

now I need to find an artist for my stuff....damnit...It's like, Impossible.

>>913756913756

Tell me about it. I am using a screen cap from 'Read It and Weep' for one story, and just some generic fantasy arts off the net for another. I hate just using other people's art without permission and used to just not have any art. But people seem to use the art as more of a guide to read a story than the synopsis.   

Another thing that is hard to find: editors. Mine keep going off and having 'real lives', like sailing, or school/writing their own novels/stories.

I find this chapter quite humorous. Alright. I know exactly what I'm going to draw! I'll make you a cover art that will make you proud! Free of charge of course.

Dat ending!

>>914737914737

Eep! No literal shitstorms!

>>914969914969 Don't worry! If I really like a story, and it's in need of a cover art, I happily create one. Just know, I'm top of my Art Class. But tell me Dahling, do you just want the picture, or do you also want me to put the title in it? And if so, please do consider checking out my fics? You don't have to, but it's just a suggestion. Anyway, I'd better get to work! Happy writing!

>>915521915521 Adding the title is fine by me.

I'll definitely make an effort to read your work ASAP.

Thanks again!

Nice

Poor Velvet, abandoned by her parents for three weeks.   At least she has Cadance and Pinkie! Twilight is more liable to break down...

Yay! 'nother chapter! The picture is ahead of schedule, I just need to finish coloring in one more pony, darken up the outlines, and do a background. If I find time, it should be done by tomorrow. Anyway, happy writing!

>>918736918736 Awesome, thanks!

>>918897918897 just one liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle drawback. I don't have a scanner, so I have to take a picture of it. Good news is, my camera is pretty good and takes okay pictures. So it should still come out good.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.... Holy, umm.... Hmmmm.... What the foal made rain three times that week. It's 4 am. Welp, TOTALLY WORTH THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION!

I am really liking this story. I find it strange that a new mother would leave her foal alone (unless it is part of an abandoning subplot), but I also like the resulting hijinks. Continue.

nice little fanfic you have here ^_^

i'll keep reading

>>912963912963 You do realize that Celestia and Luna were middle/lower class ponies once right?

With every chapter, I'm just loving this little foal more and more.

Behold! Velvet Frost, princess of unseasonable weather! Behold the unseasonable glory!

The chaos this foal spreads would make Discord proud.

ouch...  that was some burp

I await more. I'm also learning quite alot with your writing!

It's a shitstorm disguised as a blizzard.

Now that was a shit storm!

No more... I beg of you... My sides are killing me.

Image: http://twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/130698077396.jpg

A fart tornado!

If she is so destructive with her bodily activities when she is a foal... I do not want to see her as a full grown mare pregnant

WOW, it "Baby Cakes" time 100. Poor Pinkie

GREAT NEWS MYTHRILMOTH! The cover art is done. One liiiiiiiiiiittle problem. I only have access to my iPod right now. BUT! Once I get to a computer, or somehow figure out a way to post the cover here, you'll have your new cover art!

>>943131943131 Thanks, really looking forward to seeing it!

>>943145943145 HERE YOU GO!

http://0-0mylostlife0-0.deviantart.com/art/The-Alicorn-Foal-cover-art-316001109

I hope it came out like you wanted it to... Please don't hold back on the criticism!

(Please Dear Luna let it work... )

>>944353944353 Excellent work! Thank you very much.

Nah baby is still fine. Wait till you get to the terrible twos.

>>945977945977 You're welcome! Please credit me!

There's no doubt about it, you've been to Houston before. My condolences.

We (Texas) try to keep travelers out of that neck of the woods so to speak, damn shame they got tourist attractions like NASA control though.

Chapter two, to poop or not to poop, that is the question.

When it rains, it pours.

They say it's not good to hold it in.

>>946931946931 I was there just last week for a doctor's appointment. I live in Port Arthur. And I really really do hate going down to Houston; even though I don't do the driving, the insane traffic still makes me nervous.

(I still support the Houston Texans though. They're my team!)

Wow! Pinkie flew with a burp

I'm from Texas, and you know what? That was a really good description of it. It's boring, dull, grey, and in summer, you fry in the sun in 10 seconds flat. I'd rather live on a mountain than live in Texas. Lol

>>950445950445 Amen! It's especially bad down here on the Gulf coast, where the heat is exascerbated by humidity, and every year you have the fun of wondering if you'll have to run from a hurricane...

As much as I would have said, "I Take offense to that!," I'm not gonna. The references are almost spot-on, and everything that you did for the city was amazing. Excellent job.

I'm guessing that they were in the best pony translation of Japan that I've ever read? That was really, really well done. Excellent job.

>>952320952320 In all honesty, I could've done better with the Japanese horse/pony/deer puns. I just got really, really lazy. But glad you liked it.

>>952437952437

Well, Nippony sounds a lot more like an Italian place in my opinion, and when I first saw it I thought that they were going to do a lot of things that one would do in an Italian province.... if that makes any sense at all. However, as soon as they started speaking with their first tour guide(Which threw me for a total loop, and was amazing) I knew right then and there that they were in japan. Though I do have to be honest. Neighpan doesn't sound as good as Nippony. Not by a long shot.

>>952466952466 Yeah, I kind of expected "Nippony" to confuse people. Not everypony is aware that Japan is otherwise known as Nippon, or rather Nihon. I kicked around a LOT of possible puns for this one, and "Nippony" worked the most nicely.

>>951206951206 I know what you mean bro. Live in Corpus Christi, Texas, and live near the water. If you know what's good for you, STAY THE HLL AWAY FROM TEXAS! Lest you be shot.

good chapter feel sorry for Pinkie.

oh my raining manure....

good chapter cant wait for the next

I am from Texas and I think Houston was pretty  nice...except for the heat.

>>10109591010959 And the insane traffic. :P

new chapter :D

"share the muffins" epic line.

Cadance and Twilight getting fat cause of the foal sitting!

"Okay, I'm in a real bad mood this mornin'," the grungy, cider-breathed blue pegasus growled at the three fillies in the demolished carriage. "So your head is goin' up the driver's plot, her head's goin' up YOUR plot, and you...well, you drew the short straw, 'cuz your head's goin' up MY plot..." ......... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...ect., ect., ect. Oh lordy! That scene was almost too much. I'd love to see someone actually make that into a comic. I doubt it'd make EQD but it sure would be worth the effort. Keep writing them chapters, and don't be so shy when posting more of them.

I actually contemplated writing "Hoofcock" but decided it wasn't workable, so I threw the only scene I'd come up with in as a one-off gag here. It was just too funny to NOT use.

If an alicorn foal is this much trouble, imagine how much worse it would be if Cadance were pregnant.

Now imagine if Celestia were to become...with baby bump.

To my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

Due to a recent blessed event, I will be taking a tour of Europony for the next ten-twelve months.  In my absence, Luna will be taking over my royal duties, please obey her orders as you would my own.  Make that better than you do my own.  (I swear you six are like having my own foals)  Please pay no attention to the sudden rash of pickle-and-ice-cream cravings that have been sweeping across the country, I'm sure it is just a natural occurance, and will go away soon.  I had better close this letter now before I go throw up.

Sincerely

Princess Celestia

SNOWFLAKE!!

>>10893871089387

Image: http://www.mythrilmoth.net/misc/roidrage.png

YEEEEEEAHH!!

>>922734922734 give me one quote from hasbro, the website taken from, and a video showing Celestia and Luna were never royalty.