Chapter 5
Disclaimer: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro and Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling.
"Hello." -Normal Speaking
"Interesting..."-Nightmare Moon speaking
'Huh.' -Normal thoughts.
'All mine...' Nightmare Moon's thoughts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
****************** A year later *****************
As he had been looking out the window from where he was laying on his bed at the cloudy, dreary September sky, Harry sighed once more. "At least it's not raining today."
Having heard a snort, he glanced to the side to see Luna as she looked over at him from where she was reading an encyclopedia (which after receiving as a gift, Dudley had never opened). "Harry, the amount of rain we get around here sometimes I forget what dry dirt feels like."
Harry rolled his eyes at this before staring back at the ceiling. "Still boring."
Luna glanced back at the book and then around the room. "Do you have anything that you want to do Harry? Because while we can work on your magic, all that's left is for you to master what I've taught you so far and... well..."
Harry just chuckled a little. "And like me you want a small break but are bored like me." He then glanced at her again. "Library?" Her grin was answer enough as he got off the bed and the two headed out.
Once they arrived at the library, they greeted Juliet before they noticed the stuffed animals on display. Smiling, Juliet walked up and stood behind Harry who was looking them over. "Do you like them?" Harry just nodded. "You know, we're having a teddy week and all of our patrons who have them are encouraged to bring them."
His next words caused her and Luna to frown though. "I don't have any..."
After a moment, Juliet shook it off and gave him a smile. "Well, maybe your aunt and uncle might buy one for you then." When Harry told her they don't have the money for it, her eyes narrowed for a moment before she brightened. "Harry, you told me that you're good with sewing right?" Harry nodded as he had learned that a while ago to repair his clothing. "Well then, how about you come with me then?" Confused, he nonetheless followed as she led him into the Hobby section. After she took a few books down, she handed them to him.
Harry looked over the titles and found that most have to do with making stuffed animals. 'Is she...?'
As she crouched down, she smiled as she looked Harry in the eye. "Now Harry, that should give you the info to make your own little pal. Do you want to check them out, or photocopy them?" Harry got them photocopied (and despite his protests, Juliet paid for them) and then left after he thanked her. As he walked down the street, Juliet watched while the other librarian walked up and stood beside her. "Isn't there something that we can do? It's obvious he that he's being neglected."
Robert, the other librarian, just shook his head sadly. "There's not much that we can do. Unless he tells us or we see him hurting, we have no proof besides the clothing. And that could be explained away as being hand-me-downs."
Juliet scowled before she gave Harry one last glance. Sighing, she headed back inside, the whole time wishing that there was something that she could do.
Harry, on the other hand, was walking with a bit of a smile on his face as Luna watched him. "So what are you going to make then?"
Harry looked up at the sky and smiles. "I have an idea... but I'll need to get some stuff first." After heading back to his relative's house, Harry went up to his room and popped open a loose floor board which revealed a small felt bag.
Seeing it, Luna's eyes widened. "Isn't that the money you've gotten for the last while?" Harry just nodded before they headed out. A few weeks later finds Harry as he slowly worked the stuffing inside a purple alicorn as Luna gave him a deadpan look. "Is there a particular reason that you're creating a stuffed version of me?"
Harry just looked at her with a small grin. "Besides the fact that it's supposed to be my 'Friend'?"
Luna's lips twitched as she watched him pick up the needle and thread using magic as he began to stitch it. "Well, I would think that the fact that your aunt, uncle and cousin seem to freak out a little when they see a unicorn might have something to do with it." She then gestured to the needle as it finished its work. "Though it's been great for teaching you precision with magic and your control has gone up."
Finally having finished the last stitch, Harry wiped away some sweat from his brow. "Yeah, that's true. Never would have thought that it would be so tough to do something like sewing with magic."
Luna nodded before she floated over the strip of fabric with the "Mane" attached to it. "Hence why I had you do it. While it may not seem like it, those unicorns who's talents lay in creating fabrics and clothing have the some of the greatest amounts of control over their magic and can use it with a precision that's neigh unbelievable. Add in that they use their magic to also strengthen the fabrics and well... It's a great skill to learn."
Harry just snorted as he looked up at her before he laid the strip along the doll's back and threaded the needle and thread through it and the doll while he commented dryly. "Somehow I think that creating a stuffed toy is an altogether different thing then making clothing." Harry reached over and grabbed several small pieces of felt and sewed them on as well giving the doll Luna's Cutie Mark.
Luna just nodded as he started placing the black covering for the hooves. "True. I will admit that there's quite a bit of difference between creating a spectacular dress and a stuffed toy. However, it's still rather useful as an exercise." She watched as he floated the two plastic eyes over and then began placing them. "And you are quite good with this."
As he nodded while he concentrated, Harry sewed the last bit. "Thanks Luna." After placing everything aside, he held up the stuffed toy. "There! Done." Looking at Luna, he grins. "So? What do you think?"
As the alicorn looked at the toy, she giggled as it was a plush version of herself. "Looks great." She then made her way beside him and laid her horn on it before it began to glow. "Harry? Would you mind giving me some magic?"
Nodding, Harry channeled his magic into her. "Here you go Luna."
After a few moments, she backed away from it. "There. Whew! I forgot how hard casting those spells could be when you don't have much power." Harry just cocked his head to the side and asked which ones. "Why, preservation spells, self-repair, and a spell to make it resistant to rips and tears."
Harry set it aside and was about to say more when he stopped. "Luna? Did you hear something right now?"
Blinking, she looked around. "Now that you mention it... I did..."
Having heard it again, they turned and watched with wide eyes as the toy stood up on its own, it's originally round pupils now slitted as the eyes glow. "YES! I NOW HAVE A VESSEL OF MY OWN WITH WHICH TO INTERACT WITH THIS WORLD! SOON IT SHALL KNOW THE MIGHT OF..." She trailed off as she notices that her voice was slightly high pitched as well as the fact that Harry and Luna seemed much bigger than normal. "WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS!" As she pointed at them, she noticed her hoof for the first time and lapsed into silence.
Harry meanwhile glanced at Luna with an icluderous look. "Um... is that Nightmare in there?"
Luna's eyebrow twitched as she nodded before she began to tremble. Seeing this, Nightmare grinned. "Yes... that's right Little Princess, fear me and tremble before my-" She got cut off as Luna collapsed into howling laughter. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"
Grabbing a piece of cotton nearby, NMM threw it only for it to go through Luna which caused her to laugh even harder as tears streamed from her eyes. Enraged, NMM leaped at her causing Harry to just watch with a completely blank look before he covered his eyes. "All the ponies I know are crazy..." He waited a few minutes as Nightmare raged. He then laid down on his bed and faced her. "So..." Noticing he had gotten her attention, he raised an eyebrow. "Any particular reason that you're here? In a doll?"
She looked at him and frowned."I didn't know that it was going to be a... teddy. All I knew was that you were building a body that I could inhabit outside the Princess." Hearing a snort, she gave Luna a glare to which Luna just grinned. She then let loose a huff before she looked back at Harry. "Besides, this gives us a chance to talk."
Harry blinked at this of course. "Talk?"
Nightmare nodded. "Of course talk." She gestured with her head toward Luna. "After all, despite me giving you those holidays and birthdays in your dreams, you never visit me." Harry flinched at that. NMM didn't seem to notice, though Luna narrowed her eyes at her. After she jumped up onto the bed, Nightmare gave them both a haughty look, that was somewhat diminished by the fact that she was a plushy. "So, since you won't come to me, I decided to come to you."
Luna raised an eyebrow at this as Harry looked at her curiously. "So... you just want to talk?"
Nightmare nodded. "Of course... well, that and interact with the real world once more."
Harry gave her a saddened gaze as Luna's own eyes became hooded with suspicion. Harry then rested his head on his arms as he stared into her eyes. "Can I ask you a question?" She just nodded. "Why did you attack my relatives using bad dreams?"
She looked at him silence for a few seconds. "Because they hurt you. And by doing so, they're attacking me. Because you're mine." Harry was about to say something before he let it drop. Instead, he pointed out that they had never hit him to which she snorted. "They still hurt you and that is unforgivable." Hearing a snort, she turned to see Luna giving her a smirk. "And what is it that has you amused Princess?"
Luna just shook her head. "Well... you've tormented them in their dreams and are now in a doll that resembles yourself." She then gave Nightmare a vicious look. "And chances are that they'll tear you apart."
Hearing a gulp, they turned to see a slightly pale Harry. "Not to mention what they might do to me..."
Nightmare just shook her head and walked up close to Harry's face. "I am not worried about those animals. It's but a simple matter of using an illusion to make them not recognize me." She then reached up with her hoof and gently brushed some of Harry's hair from his forehead, for some reason, Harry found he can't move anything but his eyelids as a shiver runs through him and his eyes widen. "I will not allow them or anything to keep me from you Child. Nothing." Suddenly able to move, Harry jerked back as Nightmare watched with a sly look on her face before she turned and jumped off the bed while she ignored Luna's glare as she flew to Harry's side. 'Yes... things are going nicely indeed...'
A little while later while Harry was gone to the bathroom, Luna confronted Nightmare by getting into her face. "What is it that you think that you're doing!"
Nightmare merely smirked. "Moi?" Leaning forward, Nightmare gave the impression of a toothy grin. "I am simply insuring that Harry knows that I care." As she got up on her hind legs, she spread her forelegs wide. "And now, I can physically comfort the poor boy."
Luna just snarled."You're up to something... You want him to yourself and will do anything-" She was cut off as Nightmare began to laugh. "What is so funny!"
Nightmare stopped after a moment and leaned in closely to her counterpart. "You are." Leaning back, Nightmare chuckled. "You seem to think that I have some grandiose plan to make Harry ours and ours alone." She then chuckled darkly. "Simple matter is... I have no need for a grand complicated plan. None."
Luna stuttered for a moment at this. "You... you could do something like... isolate him and..."
She trailed off as Nightmare laughed. "Isolate him? How? And from whom?" She then gestured around them as she sneered. "Seems to me that his relatives have done a fine job of isolating him themselves. Other then ourselves, who has he got Princess? That Librarian?" She snorted in derision. "They barely see each other outside of the library. And she likely has an idea as to his life..." She leaned in close to Luna which caused her to recoil. "And she does nothing for him."
Luna started at this. "Well she could-"
She then got cut off by Nightmare. "She could what Princess? Perhaps she'll find out about his magic and accept him?" A glint of amusement entered her plastic eyes. "Perhaps Harry shall help her regain her home from her aunt who kicked her out after her beloved father's death. And then, when those buffoons he calls relatives have to make a run for it due to Vernon being caught by the authorities... I mean, nice boat salesmen, she might convince them to sign adoption papers for Harry. And then the two shall live happily ever after." She then narrowed her eyes into a glare. "This is real life and not a book. We are the only ones he can truly rely on. And it shall remain that way for a long time yet." She then chuckled. "So you see Princess... why should I bother with a plan when others have already done the work needed? All we need to do is give him comfort... a shoulder to lean on... a friend and he shall be ours. And guess what?" Nightmare leaned in close. "You can't help but do exactly that. It's part of whom you are." Realization crossed Luna's face before she snarled causing Nightmare to chuckle. "And now... the only question remaining is this: Will he be like you... or will he be like me...?"
Luna's eyes light up in pure rage. "Harry is nothing like you and never will be like you!"
Nightmare just sneered. "Such naiveté. Look at him closely Little Princess. He already resented his relatives before we met him. Possibly even hate them a little. I would even hazard a guess that he'd come to resent those around him even if he had never met us." She then leaned back with a satisfied look at the expression of loathing on Luna's face. "And now... all we have to do is wait and see who's right in the end. If nothing else... we have patience..."
Luna just scowled at this. "And yet, for all you say you care for him, you still set it up where one day his relatives might snap and hurt him!"
Now it was Nightmare's turn to snarl. "I will never allow that to happen!" Shocked at the vehemence in her voice, Luna recoiled as Nightmare calmed down. "They are animals and thus can be trained as such."
Luna is shocked at what Nightmare just said. "But... but they're thinking beings..."
Nightmare sneered in response. "And yet... they act like animals. Thus, they shall be treated as such." As she threw her mane back, she looked at Luna with a haughty expression. "And it is already working." Seeing the confusion, she smirked. "What? Did you think that the way they now treat him is because of just that one time. Hardly!"
Luna looked at her with a slightly sick feeling that she knew what was going on before she replied weakly. "What have you done..."
Nightmare snorted before she spoke. "Nothing like what Discord would do. Just... training them as the animals they are." Now Luna demanded an answer in a stronger voice. "How else? When they hurt our Harry, I punish them harshly in their dreams. When they do the opposite and either ignore him or treat them well, I give them the most restful sleeps with the most wonderful dreams imaginable. And as you've seen... it's worked." Luna still glared at her which made Nightmare roll her eyes. "As if you would not have done the same..."
A few moments later, Harry walked in to see a smirking Nightmare being glared at by Luna. He simply blinked and shrugged it off. 'Somehow... I think that this will be a common occurrence...'
Later that night, Nightmare got up in her new body while Harry was sleeping and jumped off the bed. While she made her way to the door, she smirked a little as she senses that she was the only one awake. 'Now then... let's see what I can find...' Using her magic, she unlocked and opened the door before she walked out into the hallway. After a moment, she heard the television downstairs on and left to see what was going on. Upon entering the living room, she took a moment to sneer at the sight of Vernon Dursley as he slept in a chair.
She gave a glance to the tele and was about to leave when the next announcement caught her attention. "We shall continue our Late Night Horror Movie marathon with Child's Play coming up next and later with Nightmare on Elms Street..."
Blinking, Nightmare turned with an interested look. 'Now then... that sounds very interesting indeed...' Later, neither Harry nor Luna could understand why Nightmare asked for a striped sweater for the next Christmas...
September turned into October, and Winter slowly became Spring which turned into Summer. One day about two months after Dudley's birthday (which involved an incident with a boa constrictor at a zoo and Nightmare playing games in the Dursley's dreams afterward), the mail arrived. After a small argument, Harry left to get it when he found a letter addressed to him.
Luna blinked and looked at Harry. "Do we even know anyone who might send us a letter?" The two look at the letter's address and raised an eyebrow at what it says:
Mr. H. Potter.
Smallest Bedroom
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey.
Luna gave Harry an odd look from where she was leaning over his shoulder. "The address is... oddly specific, isn't it?"
Harry just nodded. He was about to open it when Vernon comes in, and upon seeing it, grabbed it from him. "What's this now? Who'd be writing to you now?" Opening it, he read it and started changing colors. "BOY! ROOM NOW!" Harry was about to argue when Vernon grabbed him and shoved him up the stairs. Harry was soon followed by Dudley as they could hear snitches of the conversation downstairs.
Later that night, Harry was laying back on his bed deep in thought while ignoring Nightmare as she grumbled about what she was going to do to his uncle for having dared to touch her Harry. 'I wonder...'
Luna was pacing around the bed as she shook her head. "This is just too strange... who would be writing to you, and why be so specific?"
Hearing a snort, she turned to Nightmare as does Harry. "It's another piece of the puzzle about Harry." Seeing the looks, she shook her head. "We know that his relatives have lied about what happened to his parents, that much is obvious." She walked over and jumped onto the bed as she gazed at her companions. "Then you have all those people who seem to know Harry on sight... while he doesn't know them. And, finally, we have this letter which is very specific about where he lives." As she waved her hoof around, she shrugged. "They're most likely connected somehow."
After a moment, Luna nodded and turned to Harry. "As much as I hate to admit it... she has a point." Luna sighed. "It's like that detective from the books said: 'If you've eliminated the impossible, whatever is left, no matter how improbable, is likely the truth.' Everything being a mass of coincidences is unlikely. Possible, but unlikely. So I guess the most likely answer is that they're interconnected somehow... How though is the major question." She then frowned. "All we can do is wait and see if something else happens..."
The next day there was another one, but Vernon got to it before Harry again. "Those freaks..."
Early in morning after, Luna flew out the bedroom door and a moment later returned as she shook her head. "We can't get out the front door. Vernon is there waiting, and he's not in a good mood."
Both her and Harry turned to Nightmare who shrugged unapologetically. "I'll keep it up until he gives in." The other two sighed and shok their heads before stopping as she pointed something out. "Besides... isn't it odd that he's expecting one?"
Both Luna and Harry blinked before they turned to each other in surprise. The next few days continued to be odd as more and more letters arrived. When 24 arrive rolled up and hidden inside two dozen eggs, Luna just shook her head. "Whoever they are, they're persistent. Give them that... and creative too. Though how the hay did they get those letters in the eggs in the first place..."
The next day though... what had to be around forty letters came down through the fireplace chimney. Once more Harry tried to grab one, but with Petunia and Vernon trying to stop him, and Dudley trying to grab one himself, Harry was unable to and soon both him and Dudley are chucked from the room by his uncle who slamed the door shut. That night found them in a hotel miserable. Beside him, Dudley snored in his bed before his attention was caught by Nightmare poking her head out of the backpack she was in. He was about to comment when Luna practically screamed in frustration. "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON HERE?" She then glares at the wall. "Whatever it is... Vernon knows and so does Petunia..."
Nightmare just nodded from where she was laying her head across her folded arms. "Indeed... and it's a simple matter to find out."
Luna scowled at Nightmare before she replied as Harry winced. "I don't think that your usual methods might work here..."
Nightmare just chuckled. "Who said anything about my usual methods..." She shoved one hoof into the bag with a smirk. "After all, there's no need since we have... THIS!" And with that she pulled out one of the letters which caused their jaws to drop. "Yes, yes. I am truly magnificent."
She just watched with a smirk as Harry sputtered and Luna stared incredulously. "Wha... but... when... how...?" Dudley started for a moment causing Harry to wince before he rolled over.
At this Nightmare rolled her eyes and grumbled about overweight pigs. She then handed Harry the letter. "While those oafs you call relatives were busy trying to stop you and that fat pig of a son of theirs from getting one, I managed to snag one that came close to the door and rush upstairs with it before putting it in the backpack when I heard him yelling to get packed." Seeing Luna about to ask something, she gave her a smirk. "As to why I didn't mention this... did we really have time before now to look at it?" Once more, Luna grumbled at Nightmare who jumped onto the bed. "Now then..." Her horn glowed for a moment and she let out a sound of exhaustion. "We won't be disturbed by them. Now with how deeply they're sleeping." For a moment, her eyes closed in enjoyment as Harry softly stroked her mane. He was brought back when Nightmare taps the letter.
Opening it, he froze after reading the first line.
Intrigued by this, Luna drifted over to look over his shoulder and her eyes widened as she read aloud.
"'HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, international Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Potter...'" She read the rest in a soft mumble before she looked at Harry. "Harry... do you know what this means..."
Nightmare spoke up. "That someone likes their titles?" The other two blinked and stared at her for a moment before they facepalmed (and hoofed). Seeming to ignore it, Nightmare smirked. "Hm. Some of those sound interesting. Might use them later..."
Luna just rolled her eyes. "No... well, besides that." She turned to Harry. "It seems that you're not the only person to use magic."
Seeing the frown on his face, she softly blushed as he grumbled. "But I liked the idea of my magic coming from you..."
She just nuzzled him."Thank you." She then pulled away with a smile. "But I am glad that it seems that you're not alone in the world besides me."
Harry smiled himself before he frowned. "But... what do we do now? We can't get in contact with them." He then deadpaned as he gestured around the room. "For one thing, I don't have an owl." He then scowled. "Maybe I should confront Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon about it."
Luna shook her head, a smirk on her face. "Actually... let's not." Upon seeing the other two look at her, her smirk became an evil smile. "We know what's in the letters now, so no worry there. And of the people are this persistent, then they’re not going to stop anytime soon. Someone might even come and confront them about why the letters haven't been answered. Then you can reveal that you already knew. Just the looks on your relatives’ faces..."
Nightmare looked at her with wide eyes before bursting into laughter. Calming down, she gives the lunar princess a approving look. "Very nice Princess. Very nice indeed." Luna just nodded. Later that night, Nightmare was watching over Harry as he slept. After a moment of simply staring, she reached up and brushed some hair from his forehead before she glared at his scar. 'One day... one day...' As she glanced at his face, she closed her eyes and softly nuzzled his neck. 'Perhaps one day...' She then pulled away and spent the rest of the night, like many others, just watching over him. Then, with first light, she went back into the backpack and went to sleep herself, with her spirit leaving the doll which had taken on more and more of her physical characteristics since she had began inhabiting it as she headed back to her and Luna's moon.
Of course, none of them knew what was just around the corner...
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keep it up
I like this story.
Not bad, can't wait to see more
Love it, very well written.
Must have more!
And now we get to the good parts!
I was so prepared to not like this. I mean, really. I didn't want to. But now I've looked at it, and it's utterly charming, and I want more. I'll be tracking.
I am Loving this Story, this story is getting tracked.
When I started reading I had a few mixed feelings about this, but I'm glad to say that this was acctually pretty good. If you keep writing, I will keep reading.
*SPOILERS*
Please keep writing, I really want to see peoples reaction when they find out he can already do magic without a wand, and I REALLY want to see Draco scared s**tless by little Nightmare.
Oh my goodness. All of my money.
I loved the original series, but this... THIS! This is fantastic! The characterization, the dialogue... and that one thing they never touched upon in the actual books: how Harry managed to do all those things in the first book before he got his wand. They always say that the wand is what makes the wizard/witch able to preform magic, yet Harry could do that without one. WHY DID THEY NOT NOTICE THIS. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A PLOT POINT, but now... Now it shall be EXPLORED!!
With 20% more pony, of course.
-=SPOILER=-
Do I see a hint that this young human boy is influencing Nightmare in a positive way? That perhaps now that she has someone she cares about, selfishly or not, she might be "redeemed?" Perhaps leading to an alternate ponyverse where the elements were not needed on that night? Where twilight never went on her adventure and became good friends with the others? Where she stayed secluded and anti-social?
... this leaves me conflicted. on one ho-HAND I wish to see Nightmare redeemed, on the other, I want Twilight to have friends... There can be only one, and it saddens me.
-=END SPOILER=-
NONE THE LESS! Carry on, good sir or madam. I TRACK AND 5-STAR THIS WITH ALL MY BEING!
Nightmare Plushie!
You have yourself a reader!
I wonder how Harry, Luna, and Nightmare will react when they find out that unicorns do exist in his world, I'm not sure how they'll react to them giving hairs for wand cores but oh ho ho will they have a FIT when they find out what's going on in the forbiddon forest.
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/147/087/jd.png?1318992465
53292
not a huge harry potter fan ...read all the books saw the first and second movie when I was a child... though as i grew older I kinda grew out of it....
since u gave it a shot i think i also will...
My body is ready for the next chapter.....
MATILDA REFERENCE!
The movie "Matilda" came to my mind while i was reading this chapter.
lets see what behind door 1....
its a portal TO THA MOOOOOON!!!!
door 2...
its a huge hairy giand with a gayis pink umbrela and a clumsy way of entering a home by kicking in the very same door...
door nr three is a blockade for door nr 1 so nr2 is only left good luck J.H.P
I am now thinking about a yandere (psychotically possessive) alicorn. Voldemort is so bucked. I can just imagine fullblown Nightmare Moon punishing him: "In every shred of darkness I will show you your deepest fear. Every passing shadow, every cold night, every time you blink you will see nothing but terror. You flee from the Shadow of Death so much that I shall make it so that is all you ever know. You can pray for forgivness but nothing will grant you respite. You should not have tried to take what is mine."
I'm hoping that someone in Hogwarts will be able to see Luna or NMM. Perhaps Dumbledore?
nightmare moon taking tips from nightmare on elm street......
the world is doomed....
Rereading this story again, I just realized something.
How exactly does Nim know the plot of Matilda? Was she just spying on Harry when he read it sometime and followed along?
58015What meme is that? By that I mean the British part. I know this one is just a British version of "Shut up and take my money," and there's also "The fecal matter has hit the air circulation device" which is basically the British version of "The shit has hit the fan." What meme is it (if it is a mem) that Britishizes other sayings.
Heh, It's been a while since something in a fanfic made me laugh out loud. That part, when Nightmare Moon takes control of the toy...HILARIOUS!!
53953 Well, remember, Twilight was sent to Ponyville before Nightmare Moon came back. Since there would be no way to know about a change in her morals until after she came back, Twilight would still most likely be sent to Ponyville, it would probably take her longer to make any friends, however, seeing as that "spark" would not be needed for Nightmare.
I am loving this Nightmare Moon. So freaking adorable.
I see what you did thar. a.deviantart.net/avatars/h/u/hurrhurrplz.png?1
Reading available chapters for the second time (yes, this is that good) I recognized the Matilda shout out! But wasn't her father a Car salesman?
i keep thinking about when he meets luna lovegood. wait your names luna? *looks at luna and nmm* okay.
532596
A voice whispers into your mind, "Read the book..."
55745 Now that you mention that, it makes me wonder if Luna or Nightmare won't try to add their own tail hair to Harry's wand.
This story had me intrigued with the summary alone. Now that i've actually started reading it....most excellent. I'm definitely enjoying your spin on things and, now that the story;s caught up with book 1 so to speak, i eagerly await seeing how things progress next!
Yes... YES... YESSSSSSssssss...
Should be glowed.
Past tense, came, to match the rest of the sentence.
Minor quibbles over misuse of past and present tense aside, I'm liking how this is going. Nightmare plushie = adorable.
How many hes are we talking about here? X3
I wonder if she means one day she would find out where he got that scar or that one day she would torment the one who gave it to him...I hope it the latter cause I want to see Voldemort's face when he is confronted by an angry plushy
Oh shit o.0 here we go! :D huh I wonder if luna might spare a bit of hair from her for a custom wand instead of using the phoenix feather from the wand he should get o.0 here we go :D
687369 twoc.deviantart.com/art/YES-109628682 Yes Yes, I can so see Nightmare saying that. I LOVE IT
874363
Lets be serious. The second he got the DIY stuffed toy books we all knew he would make a Luna one.
3079307 A wand with an alicorn hair in it would make the Elder Wand look lame.
3470895 LOLZ! Oh god, I can now imagine Nightmare Moon being with Freddy Krueger!
3638987 Putting a draconequus feather in it would make an alicorn hair wand look like a broken sparkler. But he doesn't have a draconequus. Oh the things he could achieve with such a powerful artifact...
This should be While it may not seem like it, those unicorns whose talents lay in creating fabrics and clothing have the some of the greatest amounts of control over their magic and can use it with a precision that's neigh unbelievable. (the reason for this change is because the definition of who’s is who is, or who has, while the definition of whose is belonging to or associated with a specified person. Well, actually, the definition of whose is belonging to or associated with which person, but it makes more sense my way, so…)
This should be Harry meanwhile glanced at Luna with an incredulous look.
This should be "You can't help but do exactly that. It's part of who you are." (The way to check when to use the word whom and when to use the word who can be tricky, as I learned when I looked up the definition. However, when I found out that the definition wasn’t the way to go for these two words, I immediately looked up when to use these words, and came up with this rule: use this he/him method to decide whether who or whom is correct:
he = who
him = whom
Examples:
Who/Whom wrote the letter?
He wrote the letter. Therefore, who is correct.
Who/Whom should I vote for?
Should I vote for him? Therefore, whom is correct.
We all know who/whom pulled that prank.
This sentence contains two clauses: we all know and who/whom pulled that prank. We are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. He pulled that prank. Therefore, who is correct.
We wondered who/whom the book was about.
This sentence contains two clauses: we wondered and who/whom the book was about. Again, we are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. The book was about him. Therefore, whom is correct.
For the purposes of this sentence, replace the word whom with her, and then read it to yourself to see that it is the word who that should have been used here. I could have just said that it was the Microsoft Word spell checker that said to change this, but… then I wouldn’t have explained why it said so. If you find overly complicated explanations like this annoying, please let me know, so that I will know to not do it in the future, as I kind of do, but I was also curious as to why the word whom was incorrect in that sentence.)
This should be The other two sighed and shook their heads before stopping as she pointed something out.
This should be Once more Harry tried to grab one, but with Petunia and Vernon trying to stop him, and Dudley trying to grab one himself, Harry was unable to and soon both him and Dudley are chucked from the room by his uncle who slammed the door shut.
This should be He then deadpanned as he gestured around the room.
This should be Calming down, she gives the lunar princess an approving look. (The reason for this change is because Use "a" before a word beginning with a consonant or the sound of a consonant. Use "an" before a word beginning with a vowel or the sound of a vowel.)
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He was a either a car salesman or a parts dealer but clearly much more, most likely mob or something. The nice boat salesmen, were FBI agents in that movie if memory serves (been a good decade or so).
Nice use of Pavlovian conditioning. Yes, I decided to read through this again... Nothing updates anymore and i don't want to start something new and this is a great story. I actually think it's better than the original.
oh, you bloody wish.
"Harry, the amount of rain we get around here sometimes makes me forget what dry dirt feels like."
>Then again why would she say that? Considering she can't manipulate physical objects in his realm, therefore she can't feel the wet ground or the drops for that matter.
This is also very unclean. At this point you are making a time lapse, describing that a lot of time has passed. The same problem was in the previous chapter too, where you suddenly wrote after a sentence that 'weeks turned to month'.
If that is the case, then you should put that sentence as a new passage, instead of following it up with the previous sentence.
A few weeks later finds Harry as he slowly worked the stuffing inside a purple alicorn as Luna gave him a deadpan look
those unicorns who's talents lay in creating fabrics
is an altogether different thing then making clothing
it's originally round pupils now slitted as the eyes glow
She trailed off as she notices that her voice was slightly high pitched
She looked at him and frowned."I didn't know
I am simply insuring that Harry knows that I care
she smirked a little as she senses that she was the only one awake
She just nuzzled him."Thank you."
And of the people are this persistent
1. Umm... Huh? The structuring is quite off... I get the meaning but the wording is quite... awkward.
2. Whose.
3. Than.
4. Its.
5. Noticed.
6. Forgot your spacing.
7. Ensuring in this case.
8. Sensed.
9. Forgot your spacing.
10. If.