Chapter 18
Disclaimer: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro and Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling.
"Hello"-Normal Speaking
"Interesting..."- Nightmare Moon speaking.
'Huh'- Normal Thoughts.
'All mine...' Nightmare Moon's thoughts
___________________________________________________
Sitting in Hagrid's hut as he sips some warm tea the day after his match, Harry watches the argument between Hagrid, Hermione, and Neville. "Hagrid, he had his wand out and pointing towards Harry while moving his lips! I remember reading that, that type of jinx needs continuous eye contact to work and as soon as we set fire to his robes and he broke eye contact, it stopped!" Slightly amused with the thought of his least favorite teacher being set fire to by someone as rules orientated (not to mention placing teachers on pedestals) as Hermione, he softly snorts into his cup causing Hermione to turn her attention to him. "What?"
Harry doesn't say nothing though he smiles as he polishes off his tea. Hagrid pours him another cup before looking towards Hermione with a scowl. "Now I keep tellin' yeh. Professor Snape would not do something like that! Dumbledore trusts him."
Poking her head out of Harry's sweater, Nightmare raises an eyebrow as she leans her head against her hoof. "So let me get this straight... we should trust him, because Dumbledore does? Am I hearing you correctly?"
Slightly flustered, Hagrid sputters a bit. "Dumbledore is a great man and-"
Nightmare cuts him off and jabs her hoof in his direction. "Exactly. And that is something that you have seemed to have forgotten." She shakes her head as she explains. "For all his age and wisdom, he is but a man and so is not infallible. He can be as wrong as the rest of us." Seeing that she has caused him to be flabbergasted, she nonetheless throws Hagrid a bone. "That said, I agree with Hagrid that Snape was not trying to kill Harry."
Hermione whips around and glares at her. "How can you say that!? You were right there with us when we got close! You had to see him standing there looking at Harry while having his wand in his hands!"
Nightmare rolls her eyes at that. "Let us look at that piece by piece shall we?" Glancing towards where she can see fang, she gestures with a hoof. "First, him standing up. I will note that he did not do so until Harry started to have problems on his broom. And he was not the only one. Same with keeping his eyes on Harry. Almost all of the people there were too, unless you're suggesting that they were in on it."
Hermione just scowls. "He still had his wand in his hands and was moving it."
Cocking her head to the side, the Alicorn plush smiles. "And? From what I can see, most wizards would and did go for their wands while mumbling. Perhaps he was considering what spell he might use under his breath. Or perhaps he praying that Harry would fall off?" Seeing the looks, she shrugs. "That I would not put past him."
Gulping some, Neville takes a short breath. "And what about the fact that as soon as he noticed the... er... fire, he was distracted and looked away? And then all of a sudden Harry's broom was back to normal?"
Nightmare regards him for a moment and then smiles. "Very good Neville. However there is an explanation there."
Crossing her arms, Hermione gives a slight huff. "Oh? And what might that be?"
Smirking, the dark Alicorn chuckles. "Simple. We don't know at what point the spell on Harry's broom was undone compared to when he was lit up." She then shrugs. "Could have been just before, just as, or just after he was lit up."
Hermione sputters a bit before finally getting it out. "But the jinx! You have to keep eye contact and-"
Jabbing her hoof towards the bushy haired girl, Nightmare snorts. "Exactly." She then leans back and crosses her forelegs across each other. "And how many people did you bump into or knock over in your rush to get to Snape? Hmm?" Seeing the heavy blushes on Neville's and Hermione's faces, Nightmare smirks. "Exactly. And then you have the fact that, I don't know about you, but for me seeing someone on fire would be distraction enough to pull my eyes to it."
Now grasping at straws, Hermione tries to say something. "Bu... but... he hates Harry!"
It's Harry's turn to roll his eyes. "Yes Hermione. And that is a fact that just about everyone in school knows about." He then jerks his thumb at Hagrid. "Even Hagrid as much as he doesn't want to say it, knows about how Snape dislikes me." Leaning forward, He doesn't see Nightmare try to get deeper into his sweater as she notices Fang looking at her. "And since everyone knows his personal feelings, he would be the first one to be suspected with the way he was acting." Harry then shakes his head as he leans back, not hearing Nightmare's sigh of relief. "And despite everything, I can't see Snape being that stupid."
Seeing the scowl on Hermione's face, Nightmare taps Harry's neck causing him to look down to see her wink at him. Harry's lips twitch as he nods before Nightmare speaks up. "I am still surprised that someone as into the rules as you..."
Harry nods. "Who worships the ground the teachers walk on."
Nightmare shakes her head. "And who adores authority figures..."
Harry shakes his head as well. "Would do such a cruel..."
As Harry trails off, Nightmare takes up the slack. "Horrible thing..."
"Like setting a teacher on fire."
"We must be..."
Harry finishes as he shakes his head sadly. "The most awful influence on you." Hermione glares at him before glaring at Hagrid who snorts, not noticing Neville trying to hold back one of his own as he turns away. Turning back, she glares at the amused duo of Nightmare and Harry while unseen by her Luna is snickering.
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Not too long afterwards, the group is walking through the halls as they head back to Gryffindor Tower. Rolling his eyes at Hermione's continued grumbling, he sighs. "You're not still hung up about my disagreement with you, are you Hermione?"
Huffing, Hermione turns her head away. "You didn't have to be so dismissive of it." Placing her hands on her hips, she gives Harry a slight glare. "You could at least not have dismissed it out of hand like you did. Snape could have been trying to kill you."
Harry just rolls his eyes as neither him, Nightmare, or Hermione notice Neville freeze up with his eyes widening. "Come off it Hermione. Snape would never try to kill me with something so obvious as jixing my broom in the middle of a match with him standing up and a wand in his hand." He then waves his hand as Neville turns towards them panicking. "If he actually wanted to kill me, he would likely use a poison in my food that would be undetectable and likely have symptoms akin to food poisoning or an allergy so no one would think about the possibility of poisoning." He then frowns thoughtfully. "Perhaps something that would decay rapidly with warmth so that the heat in my cooling corpse would destroy it."
All of a sudden him, Hermione, and Nightmare (as well as Luna) stiffen at a familiar voice. "Indeed Potter." They slowly turn to see Snape looking at them with a raised eyebrow. "I would never do something as obvious as jinxing a broom in full view of people." He then looks at Hermione with a small glare. "Ten Points from Gryffindor Granger for your accusations." He then turns and takes a few steps before stopping. "And five points to Gryffindor Potter for correctly theorizing a method by which I would kill you."
Watching as the potions professor walks out of view, Harry becomes thoughtful before looking at his friends. "I'm confused as to whether I should be amused by what happened or paranoid and worried that he agreed with me..." He then scratches his chin as Hermione and Neville stare at him. "Of course, he's unlikely to use that method now that he's admitted that it would be one way he could kill me." He then frowns. "Unless of course he wants me to think that so that I'll let down my guard and because no one would think that he would use that method due to what just happened..."
At that moment Tonks walks up and sees the stares and looks at Harry. "Wotcher Harry." She then jerks her thumb at Hermione and Neville who are still staring ludicrously at Harry. "What's up with them?" Harry tells her what happened and his thoughts only for her to give him a deadpan look before her enlarged hand covers her face in a facepalm. "Gee, I wonder what might be wrong with them..."
Amused by the whole thing, Nightmare leans her head against one hoof. "The world may never know."
Harry ignores the glare as he sighs. "Do you guys think that if I added methods of him killing me to my essays that I might get better marks?"
Hermione and Tonks exchange a looks before the metamorphmagi's hand comes up and slaps Harry in the back of the head, with the same answer coming from both her and Hermione's mouths. "No."
Hovering in midair, Luna can only shake her head in amusement. "Only you Harry, only you..."
___________________________________________________________________________
Sighing happily and with some pride as she closes her book, Hermione smiles. 'There, all done.' Stretching, she looks around and soon notices that most of the tower has gone to bed besides Neville (who's currently dozing in his chair) and Harry (who's looking over one book as he writes on some paper). Blinking and feeling curious, Hermione gets up and walks over. "Not done the homework we were assigned?"
Harry just shakes his head as Nightmare watches him write with a pencil to Hermione's surprise. "Oh, I got that done a bit ago. Just working on something extra is all."
This catches Hermione's attention so she leans over his shoulder excitedly. "Something extra? Did you find a way to get some extra credit?" She then blinks as she recognizes what book he's looking over. "Harry... that's a muggle textbook..."
Raising an eyebrow, Harry looks up. "So?"
Hermione just gives him a weird look before gesturing around them. "Why are you doing work problems from a muggle text book in a magical school?"
Looking at her with a 'What are you, stupid?' expression, Harry rolls his eyes. "Maybe because I'm planning for graduating in the muggle world once I graduate here? And maybe going to collage or university afterwards?" He then shrugs. "I had plans for my life before getting the invitation to Hogwarts you know."
Opening her mouth for a moment, Hermione soon closes it as she looks down in thought. "I take it that you'll be using the excuse that you were homeschooled then?"
Harry just nods. "Pretty much." He then sighs. "Professor McGonagall was pretty confused as to why I would want to continue my mundane education, but told me that something could be arraigned through the Ministry. If I work hard, then I should be able to sit for my GCSEs sometime around Fourth Year. Maybe the summer before it if I can."
Hermione just stares at him for a few moments as if in equal parts shock and awe. "You're... serious about this, aren't you?"
Leaning back in his chair, Harry nods as he clasps his hands together. "Very Hermione." With a sigh, he looks around. "When I graduate Hogwarts, I could very likely get any job I want. But would be because of me..." He then turns to her. "Or because my fame?" He then shakes his head before smiling. "Besides, I'm eleven Hermione, my future isn't set in stone." He then gestures at the papers on his desk. "And all this? This is just keeping my options open is all." Hermione just stands the for a moment and then looks back at his work before looking at him again with a thoughtful expression. Seeing this he raises an eyebrow. "What?"
Sighing, she gestures for him to move over. Still slightly confused, though figuring it out, Harry does so and she sits next to him before looking over his work."Where exactly are you?" She then raises an eyebrow. "And who's checking your work?" In reply, Nightmare raises her head and gives Hermione a look over her glasses causing the bushy haired girl's eyes to widen as she stares. "YOU!?"
Nightmare's smirk just causes her fists to clinch. "Who else did you think that it would be?Father Christmas perhaps?"
Harry just shakes his head. "She doesn't need to sleep Hermione. So she can check my work more then once."
Nightmare just chuckles. "Just to let you know, I don't explain exactly what you might have done wrong, just that you did and which question."
Raising an eyebrow, Hermione gives her a look. "Any particular reason for not telling me what I got wrong?"
Snorting, Nightmare shakes her head. "How else would you get better if I just up and told you? It's better in my view to make you work at it and through it."
Looking over the work, Hermione's eyebrows rise as she realizes how far along he is before she looks at Harry. "Harry... where are you finding the time for this? And how do you schedule it?"
Harry shrugs a bit before answering with a reply he had made a while back just in case. "I have a type of insomnia. So I find myself with plenty of time before I can fall asleep." He then taps his work. "As for scheduling it, I have a single subject that I work about two hours on a night. On weekends, I basically do a random choice of subject for about three hours or so." Seeing Hermione's jaw drop, he blinks. "What?"
Waving him off, Hermione sighs. "Nothing... nothing at all.' Internally, she shaking her head. 'I'm going to need tutoring over the summer if I'm going to keep up...' Suddenly she turns to Harry as she realizes something that he said making her worried about her friend's health. "Harry... is your insomnia really that bad?"
Harry simply rolls his eyes before replying. "Hermione, it's not that bad."
Scowling, Hermione waves a finger in his face. "Harry you need sleep! Too little sleep over a long period is unhealthy!" She then frowns. "Have you had Madame Pomfrey check it out? Ooo! I hope it's not a sign of something serious!"
Harry just internally groans at that. "It's nothing special Hermione and I've been dealing with it for years now. It's just something that's part of me I guess." He then gets a fake shocked look on his face. "Maybe it's one of the first signs of a superpower that was given to me by the killing curse!"
Hermione just watches him tiredly for a moment before she closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Harry, first of all that's something from a badly written novel." She then glares at him. "Also, it's late, I'm tired, and I most definitely do not appreciate you being sarcastic to me over this. Not to mention that a part of me wants nothing more right now then to take a page out of Tonks' notebook and slap you upside the head." She then gives him a pleading look causing him to flinch. "The fact that you're having trouble sleeping and it's normal enough for you to joke about worried me Harry."
Sighing as he shakes his head, Harry runs his hands through his hair before talking. "Look, I'm sorry that I was being flippant about you worrying Hermione. I really am." He then shrugs before opening his arms wide and giving her a hug. "Did you know that for the longest time I thought that being able to run on five hours sleep was normal? It was only when I read about the normal amount of sleep a person actually needs."
Hermione pulls away slightly and shakes her head with a worried look. "Only five hours Harry? That's nowhere near the amount of sleep you should be getting."
Disengaging from the hug, Harry gestures to his eyes. " Do you see any bags or rings around my eyes Hermione?" He waits until she shakes her head to continue. "I don't know why, but for me, five hours sleep acts like... I don't know, twelve hours for as normal person." He then shrugs. "I've never had issues with tiredness as long as I get that much." He then frowns a little. "Though apparently I sleep deep enough that nothing can wake me when I do."
That catches Hermione's interest. "Could you be somehow sleeping at a different level? I remember reading somewhere that very deep sleeps are the most restful I think." Harry just shrugs in reply before she frowns and places a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I'll let this go... for now anyways, as long as you promise me right now that if you get any issues due to your sleeping habits that you'll seek help." Seeing Harry about to reply, she glares. "And I don't mean in a sarcastic way Harry. Promise me."
Sighing and rolling his eyes (and stopping as the witch in front of him, glares at him) he nods. "Okay Hermione, if anything major happens due to my sleeping habits, I'll seek some medical help, okay?"
Seeing her nod, Harry glances around before his eyes fall on an amused Nightmare causing him to snort. Raising an eyebrow, Hermione first looks at Nightmare and then back at Harry. "What's so funny?"
Harry glances at her and chuckles. "Well... remember that comment about the killing curse giving me superpowers?"
Slowly nodding, Hermione gives him a look while drawling. "Yes..."
Harry smirks. "At first I was going to suggest that it came from being bitten by a magical horse."
Grumbling, Nightmare looks away as Hermione gives a unlady-like snort. "You bite someone the once and no one will ever let you forget about it..."
Blinking Hermione looks at her. "Should I even ask who..."
Harry rolls his eyes and snorts. "Seamus." Seeing Hermione's stare, he jerks his thumb at Nightmare. "Ask her, not me."
Grumbling as Hermione looks back at her, Nightmare sighs. "The foal was going to wake Harry up by dumping a bucket of water on him when he was asleep. So... I bit him." Hermione just keeps staring as Nightmare scowls and looks away. "Not my problem that he screamed like a little filly and tripped and hit his head with the bucket."
Hermione just shakes her head as she mutters under his breath. "Must have been from surprise." She then looks up and for a split second could swear that Nightmare was grinning with a mouthful of fangs before they disappear causing her blink and rapidly shake her head. 'I must be tired, my imagination is running away with me.'
She doesn't notice Harry give Nightmare a small look, only for her to return a "butter couldn't melt in my mouth" smile. Harry then sighs. "Anyways, to get back on track, I wouldn't worry Hermione, my sleeping ability is likely some kind of magical ability."
Hermione just looks at him. "Well, it's possible I guess..." She then bites her lip as she thinks. "Considering that Tonks' can physically manipulate her appearance and Professor McGonagall can become a cat as well as some others I have read about..." She then massages the side of her head and sighs. "I guess being able to run on far less sleep would look positively mundane next to those..."
Harry then shrugs. "Maybe it's not that common. Who knows?"
Rolling her eyes as she crosses her arms, Hermione grumbles some. "I wouldn't go quite that far Harry..." She then sighs and shakes her head. "Still though... I suppose it would still be a neat ability to have. Imagine all the books I could read or the amount I could study..." A slight sparkle comes to her eyes. "And I would have to be worried about being too tired after pulling all nighters either!"
All of a sudden they all jump as a sleepy voice speaks up. "That's great and all I suppose but..." Neville turns and looks at the clock on the wall as he stretches. "It's midnight. I'm heading to bed."
Hermione frowns as she glances at the clock and then glares after turning back to see Harry sorting his work and putting it away. At her expression, Harry chuckles. "Hermione, he's right. It is late after all and we got Potions first thing." He smirks as he sees both her and Neville wince. He then turns to Hermione directly. "If you want to join in, I can give you my notes tomorrow so that you can catch up. Sound good?"
Hermione thinks it over for a moment before nodding and holding out her hand with a smile. "Sounds good."
After shaking hands, they go their separate ways with Neville heading straight to bed. After waiting until the Dorm is once more quiet, Harry and the two Alicorns head into his trunk and soon after finds them sitting on the floor. Glancing between them, Harry gives a slight cough. "So... er... what's on the list for tonight?"
Nightmare rolls her eyes a bit and sighs. "Tonight we'll be working on two spells. One, as per usual is a distraction and the other can be used in battle."
Shifting a little, Harry glances between them as Luna settles next to him. "Which spells?"
Nightmare's horn lights up briefly to Harry's confusion only for him to jump at the sound of heavy footsteps right behind him. Twisting, Harry turns as the plush smirks. "That's the first. It's called 'Specter's hooves'." She then gestures at the spot where the sound came from. "With it, one can copy the sound of any kind of footstep and make it sound as if it was coming from wherever the caster chooses. Quite useful when sneaking around and you need a distraction."
Harry just grins. "Wicked." He then turns to Luna and blinks. "So what's the other?"
Luna shares a look with Nightmare before taking a breath. "Harry, in order to teach you this, I have to use it on you first you understand?"
Confused, Harry nods. "I understand Luna, I do trust you after all."
Grimacing, Luna sighs. "And that's what makes this hard..." She then gestures at his arm. "Roll up your sleeves and hold out your arm."
Raising an eyebrow, Harry does so only to yelp and pull it away after Luna reaches out with her hoof and a small bolt of electricity leaps from her hoof and into his arm. "OW!" Rubbing his now numb arm, he grimaces. "What the hay?"
Reaching out once more, Luna's horn glows as she runs her hoof over his arm, restoring feeling. "That was a simple spell called 'Shock'." She gestures at her hooves once she's done. "Unlike many animals, Ponies do not truly have what you would call natural weapons outside of horns for a Unicorn and those are not suited to be used as such. To this end, the Unicorns created a simple series of spells designed around the idea of touch." She then taps his arm. "Shock creates a small bolt of electricity. It has two effects."
Harry gives her a deadpan look. "It hurts and numbs, right?"
Luna nods. "Correct." She then frowns as she notices him still rubbing his arm. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you too badly, did I?"
Harry just shakes his head before letting his arm go. "Nah." He then frowns. "So... you're going to teach me how to numb a person's arm?"
Shaking her head, Luna frowns. "No." She then taps his arm. "The power behind the spell depends on control and the amount of magic being used. In this case, I used a moderate amount and managed to cripple one of your arms for what would normally be a few minutes." She then leans back and sighs. "But there is a drawback, can you tell me what it is?"
Frowning in thought for a moment, Harry's eyes widen as he looks at Luna. "You have to get right up close."
Luna nods. "Yes." She then smiles and holds her hooves about five inches apart. "This is as far as you can get it not matter how much power you throw into it." She then drops her hooves. "And even then, it's weakened by a lot due to distance." She then smiles as she sees the slightly worried look. "It is, however, pretty much non-lethal except in the most extreme cases." She then shakes her head. "And this is but the first spell of many that is used to help a Unicorn get used to manipulating the elements around them." She then steps in front of him and sits down as Nightmare curls up and starts checking his work. "Now, I'll start off the lesson tonight and then Nightmare can take over. First thing you do is..." By the time Harry moves onto Nightmare's lesson, he's arms are a little sore needless to say.
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YYYEEESS. THAT IS SO AWESOME!!!
I started reading this story yesterday, only to have it update today after a month!?!?
F*** YEAH!
EDIT: AND first post!?!?!?
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy
:'D
.....yeeesss.. Do tell me you intend to entirely change the entire series. Please tell me he doesn't marry Genny or Jenny(can't remember) and goes with Nim and Luna to Equestria.
Pleeeaaase. 
THIS UPDATED!
i.imgur.com/qKhmH.jpg
Mwahaha! Mostly a humor chapter, but it got a good ammount of development in, so yay!
Also, as always, as soon as I saw a chapter got posted I squeed and hugged the closest object, that being a chair, which then tipped over, but I don't care! Yay!
1256319
I second this motion. The whole Ginny romance thing in the main series seemed so incredibly pointless, spontaneous, and tacked on.
Equestria visits are also cool.
I REALLY want to see what happens during the return of Nightmare Moon what with happy Luna and 'not really evil anymore' Nim.
1256319 The story changed when Luna and Harry made the same wish at the same time. And nothing will be the same. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Love this story, really wanna see what happens when he tells someone that he was getting tutored in unicorn magic. That will pop a few eyes out of their heads.
"Ten Points from Gryffindor Granger for your accusations." He then turns and takes a few steps before stopping. "And five points to Gryffindor Potter for correctly theorizing a method by which I would kill you."
Once again, this story makes me grin practically ear to ear.
I love the amount of thought that you've clearly put into the series, and I'm curious just how divergent it'll be by the time Harry's godfather comes in, let alone by the final showdown. Especially since I can't remember if you've said when Harry is going to accompany Luna and Nim to Equestria... if it's a few years after he graduates, well. I expect only amazing things from a HiE crossover with the vastly more powerful and intelligent Harry that you're creating.
I only wish you could update more frequently, but I don't want faster chapters at the price of quality. If you can, great, if not, still great. Keep up the good work!
1256638
Friendship Contract started off awesome, but then it sorta... you know... started to suck... a lot. Sry
A story about Luna and Harry Potter? How delightfully absurd!
desmond.imageshack.us/Himg120/scaled.php?server=120&filename=hedonismbotwp6.jpg&res=landing
MY MONEY! TAKE IT!
1256522 Best line of the whole chapter!
Yay! Are you going to do every harry potter book? That would be awesome!
Getting super poers from a scar is like something out of a badly written novel. I definitely agree with that.
Nice chapter. Although, I'm pretty sure a normal horse's hooves count as a natural weapon. I'm sure an easy work around is that Equestrian hooves are softer and more malleable to allow greater dexterity.
YES! New update!
Though I wish you would update more. This story is extremely good. And hilarious.
*Insert yes dance*
You write the best stuff. Seriously. And I love it when Nightmare decides to ham it up. NMM is best ham.
1256953 agreed...
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Great story! Keep it up
To use shock you need to get close? Well, he will be getting the Invisibility Cloak sometime soon, right?
I love how true you are to Harry's personality and how you've given him a slight morbid sense of humor, the part where he theorised how Snape would kill him was just pure gold.
when will someone at least see Luna out of the corner of their eye?
i bet NIM will try to show her true form in the Waking World as a prank; to scare someone... I would have though as a Halloween prank but that's gone.
A point of thought though; how long till the Summer Sun Celebration aka Nightmare Moon's return? and has Celestia noticed or sensed what has happened to Luna?
also, remember that Harry was seen at the Royal Wedding, so we know he goes to Equestria with Luna.
Snape class
Harry: For today I prepeared an essay with they tittle " 50 ways how Snape can me without bying caught "
Later
25 points to Gryffindor Potter for a greatly made and detailed essay, this essay is so good that I m going to test theory in practice and if it will be succesful, next 25 point will be given, now class, dissmiss.
Harry using lightning. Hmmmm....
Harry facing a Death Eater.
"UNLIMITED POWER!" Shocks the daylight out of him.
AN UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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also i think snape would totaly give harry extra points for assasination suggestions
I think Nightmare Moon will go back to Equestria as a good guy, and Celestia will ask her to help her find the EoH by being evil and the first episode proceeds as normal. This is a great story except for a couple of spelling errors like jixed instead of jinxed or fang instead of Fang. Five moustaches.
I just love it how you are giving a eleven year old the behavior of a well behaved adult.
I guess you'l grow up fast if you had to endure what he has been through, and throw in two alicorns who roamed the lands for quite a few years and yeah you'l get this.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I must say, I am very impressed by this fic. Harry acts quite a bit differently than he does in the books, but I suppose that is largely due to Luna and Nightmare's influences. The story has a good mix of humor and good dialogue that I really can get into. It also provides a refreshing new look on an old story and tell it in a somewhat different way.
A couple things I must say though, there are small grammatical errors littered here and there; nothing too big I suppose, but it sometimes jars a bit with the immersion experience. I would also recommend rewriting the first 2 or perhaps 3 chapters. Compared to the quality you have now, they really stand out as a bit rough and "unnatural" feeling. To be honest, I was almost turned away from the story because of them, but I pressed on seeing as how the story had very positive votes and was a decent length already; I'm glad I did because I really like your work later on. Things in the beginning just progress without much transition, and it kinda feels like you are trying to force the audience to feel sorry for Harry. Perhaps it is just me though.
Either way, you have a wonderful little piece of work on your hands, and I find myself chuckling at Nightmare, Luna, and Harry's interactions. Kudos to you, and good luck with continuing your story!
I'm actualy currious to luna and Nim's reaction to theastrils...
"ZOMBIE PONYS!"
Quick! What do herbavore zombie pony's eat? GrraaaAAaaaAinssssss....
1258991
That's actually one of the only things I don't like about this story. Harry just feels very not-Harry. And I can't see ANY 11 yo acting like he is in his late teens or early twenties. Period. Full-stop. End of the line.
Especially considering even in the later books when he was older, Harry isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. He's no idiot either, though he makes a lot of idiot mistakes thanks to his wonderful case of Genre Blindness. He's slightly above average, but has Armour of the Protagonist +5 that he wears, and proudly. Harry was more of the instinctual caster, especially in his duels and fighting, compared to Hermoine who was the learned caster. In this story Harry has supplanted Hermoine as the learned caster, and it's leaving Hermoine as no real place to go. It's also starting to make things preachy (well, since the getting to Hogwarts its gone down that path to be honest). I often find myself wanting to reach across the ether of dimensions to slap Harry over the back of the head whenever he starts to lecture ADULTS of the setting about the stupid things the setting uses for humour.
It makes my eye twitch something fierce.
Which is amusing oddly enough as I wanted to tell the teachers off many a time about the stupid stuff in the Harry Potter books. I'd be right with Luna and NMM, face-hooving, at some of the inane things. I mean, a Cerberus, in a school, and telling the children NOT to go there? I mean, come ON!
But I KNOW that I am being overly picky and critical. And I oh so want to love this story, and I for the most part do love it. It's just... Ugh! Harry isn't being very Harry-ish! The Teachers and characters bend over backwards to NMM's antics when she should have been confiscated and locked in a teachers desk ages ago.
There are two things I am waiting for; Luna's encounter with Dumbledore. If there is any wizard who could sense her, it'd be him. Also, Harry and NMM in Equestria after her banishment ends and Twilight + the EoH are running around thinking they have to stop a cruel despot intent on eternal night. That's going to be a laugh riot, I hope.
Sorry, I don't mean to be overly critical. It's a failing of mine when it comes to cross-overs.
1268910
Everything you said in that reply is right. I know that Harry is a bit too perfect, but that's a thing that i like about this story. But that's my opinion about this story, everyone's opinion is different.
I also would love to see Harry in Equestria, there was actually a "Harry Potter pony" in A Canterlot Wedding.
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1268931
Hahaha! I never noticed that before!
Like I said, it's a failing I have personally with Cross-Overs. I understand that Harry's upbringing has been a lot different than in the books, but from my perspective, the shift is too much. I wouldn't mind him being more anylitical, but right now I feel like there is nothing of Harry in this version of him. Luna and NMM doing what they are doing? That's great and I am behind it for the most part. Except how the Teachers and characters let NMM get away with everything.
Luna is hands down the character that is drawing me back to this story. Ghost Luna in Hogwarts just works and feels like it really fits. Her reaction to the Cerberus was like a mirror of mine from when I first read the first book years ago.
I feel bad for Hermoine. Harry really seems to have stolen her schtick and she is more than a little lost because of it. Then again, that's good character development on her part.
1268910
Well, as I saw it, one of the reasons why Harry wasn't the brightest tool in the shed in the books was at some point with the Dursleys he just gave up on trying to excel at anything in particular. Here, he has Luna and Nim encouraging him and so he pushes himself as hard as he can to get approval and pride from them (kind of like how Twilight is with Celestia, just not to the same extreme). Because of this, Harry and Hermione will actually have a bit of a friendly rivalry going on when it comes to schoolwork.
As for him acting older, that's partially Luna's and Nim's fault. They come from a time where a child that was eleven would be taking on a number of adult responsibilities. So maturity came earlier (they did realize the issue, but by then it was too late). And Harry lecturing the adults (which admittedly does happen, but rarely) is coming from how he was raised by Luna and Nim. As for Nim... there's some reasons and laws as to why they're not locking her away which will be talked about.
1268957
Yeah, that personal part isn't a failure its part of who you are, don't feel bad about that.
And yeah it feels indeed a bit that Harry is hogging all the smarts but why not?
Hermoine sure has other great abillities that she can advance.
And a good reason why Harry is sooo different than original Harry can be blamed that his youth is WAAAAY different.
Book Harry started with proper social interaction when he came to Hogwarts and Fic Harry started with that since he met Luna.
And Luna and Nightmare have a lot of experience with life, sooo i'm sure that some of that got reflected on Harry since they are almost always together.
And that makes a very intresting senario and i like it a lot (my opinion whoooooooooooo)
1268963
Alrighty. I can sort of understand that, to a point. I guess you've just crossed my believability thresh hold when it comes to Harry and how he acts.
Personal failing with me, and I don't want you to suddenly change your take on Harry. Though I don't think you will. Keep on keeping on, and don't let commentors like me get to you. 
I am rooting for Hermoine getting her act together when it comes to the studying to show Harry up in some aspects.
Plus: Luna and Dumbledore conversation? Please? Por favour? Do it for Fluttershy?
1268976
I guess I do feel a little bad. Like I should be more willing to just sit back and enjoy the story, come what may.
Something I've failed to mention is that this story has a lot of great tone perfect moments. Snape for instance is done incredibly well. The interaction in the hallways was one of the best Snape moments EVER! That was just; Perfection.
1269001
Indeed, and that part where he gave points to Harry for making a very realistic theory of how Snape would have killed Harry, i don't think that the Book Snape would have gave him points for that but i'm sure he would atleast give him credit for it.
I cant wait for Harry to get Hermione into the closet so she can Really meet Nim and Luna.
Great chapter, sad that it took me so long to get around to it, but I am just back from my mini-vacation. Enjoyed that little bit with Snape giving harry 5 points. Also not sure if it's a reference, but I liked that bit where Harry began theorizing the methods which Snape may or may not use to poison him. I also enjoyed finding out about Harry's sleeping patterns and mocking the idea of a killing curse giving him powers.
As some people have stated, they find it odd how Harry talks to adults but as you said, Stallions/Bucks were expected to do the hard tasks when they were young and grow up quickly. Kinda like how in Ye olden Days, people would draft anyone who could hold and wield a weapon into a militia, including 14/15 year old teens. Whilst Nightmare does get away with a lot, I believe it may be something to do with the portraits around Hogwarts and how sentient constructs or lifelike objects might be protected by some form of law, this could also have Harry be conflicted about playing Wizards chess and wondering if it is ethically correct to force little game pieces that seem to have personalities and intelligence to go and bludgeon one another.
Anyway, keep up the good work Harry LeFerts
Nice! However i find it odd that Hermione is questioning how harry manages his sleeping schedule when she's been useing the time turner to get extra time for studies and going to different classes that run at the same time. Hermione could get some full rest, and if she did not finish all her studies in time she could go back to when she was still sleeping and study some more. I wonder if hermoine will alsi learn of harry's secret to studying in his dreamswhen harry learns of the time turner in year 3? Also, is there a reason for Ron's Lack of showing up in this fanfic? Did they not become Friends yet for some reason?
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Harry and Ron never became friends here outside of being dorm mates and classmates. In fact, Harry never met Mrs. Weasley because Luna figured out the trick for the barrier at 9 3/4. Here, Neville has taken his place.
This is such a good read
Truly a masterpiece. I'm glad to have found this story here on FimFiction. This particular story (on one of the other sites you post it at) was not only the first pony story I ever read, its also what convinced me to start watching the show. So congratulations! Your story has created at least one brony.
We need an update for this.
1256559 I think given the increased abilities that Harry has, that the events of the next years might pass by quicker than expected. Additionally, NiM and Luna's guidance should be able to help Harry avoid much of the problems he had in canon series... For one... Basilisk is going to be much easier to handle and discover with Nim and Luna's aid and Harry being more sided with Hermionie...I doubt that Pettigrew would get away with NiM and Luna's guidance because they'd probably remember Lupin needs to take his potion and therefore the return may be delayed... or might not happen at all.... Same goes with Triwizard tournament and the duel with Voldemort would be quite different. Additionally with the Umbridge incident... Nim would be able to make a bunch of nightmares for Umbridge, making the DA pointless...Can't say anything for book 6 and 7 though... because for all we know Dumbledore may not die...
Now I just wonder how Dumbledore is going to take to Luna because I'm almost certain he's going to find out sometime soon.
I am so loving this fic, it certainly draws you in. Though I must agree with....someone who posted above that I am to lazy to go back and find... That you might consider going over you first two or 3 chapters. Some of the conversations feel a little stunted and there are quite a few more grammatical mistakes than later in the fic. Seems like you just got more comfortable with writing the individual character's personality's as the story went on.
With that being said, I give this fic
and a 
. Do keep up the updates, as this story is simply amazing. 