flitterbloom
Joined 22nd Feb, 2012 ·
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This... this is a troll-fic, right? Tell me this is a troll-fic.
This has to be a trollfic. It has to be
Um... I don't know what to say to this.
Oh my goodness! Thank you for the great laugh! What an amazing comedy fic... wait, romance tag? Nooooooo, that's silly
Well, I'm going with trollfic on this one. lol
*Reads discription*What the fuuuuuuuuu........."
Oh dear sweet gods above, this HAS to be a troll fic.
Constructive criticism only guys. Can't you read!? (that was not a joke...)
First off... I would completely avoid the desire to write a clop fic in your case immediately. Not a good idea.
Secondly... unless this is a trollfic. Then do whatever.
Thirdly (wordly)... spelling is a bit off. And grammar as well. So, yes, I would advise you fix those things before you post stories.
Fourthly... the plot here is the repopulation of the alicorn race. Ummm... don't do that.
Fifthly... capitalization is your fwend. (though I was surprised that you did start a new paragraph with every speaker... good job on that.)
Sixthly... if this is a trollfic, it was a valiant effort.
i.imgur.com/T3geS.png
i.imgur.com/fY4e3.gif
908718 908760
This story looks like a 10 year old who read her first clopfic tried to do it herself.
I actually like the idea of repopulating the alicorn race...but this....
NOPE fybertech.com/4get/13303690941628.gif
Ya know what would make this way better? PUNCTUATION. Anyway, i dont like the plot, word choice, grammar,... basicly it sucks, however, i may be so harsh because, unless a clopfic is really good, i dont like it. better luck next time.
THE GRAMMER!!!!
Gais, it's like rly kewl.
i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/102/2bd33ea25491f3413747bb7f0ad5e123_display.gif
He's back, everyone. Or, at the very least, his editor is.
"Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time."
Brrrrrr... I'm having relapses.
909287 I wrote better than this at 9, and knew what sex was at 10. Because of a book that my parents bought me. Oh, the sweet, sweet irony. (To their merit, it was a science book, but they didn't read through the "human body" section before giving it to me.) I don't know the average, but I think that was a little earlier than they intended.
this is not a troll fic oh god
theres still more coming just wait
916425
nope no editor dont have one
to every one who read this and said "THE GRAMMAR" i compleatly forgot to run this through spell check i'm going to do that now
edit: also it doesn't help that i have PDD really messes things up >.< damn life always hindering me (BACK TO EDITING)
edited
918920 I was referring to the story that I linked to.
920039 yea i know i was just stating that i don't have one
i think this story was a bust T.T
909287 oh yea did i forget to mention im a guy
Oh another dead story damn sounded good too