Prelude
──────────PRELUDE──────────
e sing it now, as Chaos sleeps in stone,
And praise the rising of the Summer Sun,
With Moon to watch us as we weave our dreams;
May They both rule in gladness for all time.
Anon They stepped Them down upon the world
To tread on hooves like ours, yet still a-part
And redress the unmaking of all things,
Lamenting as we did the Chaos-craft.
Then ponies fashion’d Love, and She ensouled
The chant of yearning, singing of two hearts,
Her name was Cadenza, that all who live
Might heed the beat of Her name in their breast.
So Day was then to live, and Night to dream,
And Love to holdeth Chaos from approach;
Yet Chaos, tombed, can not be kept in stone
So long as Love doth free it willingly.
A stallion-knight, so charm’d, did vie for one
Of higher blood, a noble mare, whilst he,
Of common birth, sought out a courtship rare.
As Love did smile, so too did Chaos grin.
To tilt at beasts, and fiends, and evil wills
Was wont of all good-hearted knights like he
The winged, the horned, his fellow earth-ponies
Did gladly tribute him at tournament.
In feats of arms did favour come to him
And noble eyes beheld his martial worth
And though ‘neath Sun and Moon could his blade flash
In Love there was no foe stood to be cut.
She, unicorn, and fair to look upon,
A gentle mage who did not want for eyes.
And yet she saw no suit to be her own
But that which selfsame knight would set to her.
An but he knew, alas! ‘twas not his ken.
This she would 'dress, but her own dam forbade
Commingling they with ponies of the earth.
And with it so, the maid in vigil pined.
O fairest coat of sky and mane of snow!
O magick, sparkling argent lambency!
That one whose lot was blood and steelshod risk
Could fetch the fancy of that rad'iant mind!
He saw her high, and counted himself low,
Unworthy of her beauty and her charms.
Lamenting that she had no use for steel,
Then what, i'faith, could he put up for her?
So he did come a-call unto the Throne
And, supplicant, besought the Sisters there
To give him quest and make him prove his worth
In measure such to win a noble eye.
“O knight,” said Sun, “Love shan’t blush twice at thee
An thou seekest to court by letting blood.”
“O knight,” said Moon, “Our niece looks not soft ‘pon
Ungentle deeds and hardn’ing hearts, in sooth.”
"O Princess Day," said he, "I'll spill no blood
'pon sward or sea, in duty or in wrath."
“O Princess Night,” said he, “I then abjure
My sword and vow to woo by gentle act."
"An so, We fain would favour thee," spake Moon,
"So would I hold that our belovèd niece
Would favour thee in kind. So by My Crown
Thou shalt be put to quest. Seek Harmony."
The knight did not lift gaze, for well he knew
The Sun anon would turn put him to quest
And thus he wait’d for Her gentle speech,
Yet Day's soft voice was stayed a breath for thought.
“I sit bemused,” said She after a time.
“Hast thou naught to offer this mare but deeds?
Is she a-won with risks and with tributes?
A hero must thou beest ere love is claimed?”
“In all my ken, this is but my sole gift,”
Came in reply the knight to princess fair.
“I had not loved ere I beheld this mare;
Forsooth, mine roughness she would suffer not.”
“How ‘musing, then, must stallions be!” spake Moon.
“Perceivest thou that worth holds in her eyes
In symmetry as to be held in thine?
Suffice its stead our niece to smile ‘pon thee!”
“Thou hast set me to quest, and so I shall,”
Spake plain the vexèd knight to laughing Moon.
“‘Find thee thy Harmony’, as Thou hast spoke
And I so pledged to stay both blade and hate.”
The Sun perceived resolve and gave a smile.
“A maid must thou attend in number six
In keeping with the number'd Harmony.
They hold the taint of Chaos, and keep it.
I charge thee ‘solve them of their sore laments
And give them gladness where none ere abode.
Once questèd, then I say thou shalt behold
The worth in Love that thy self can not see.”
“Where shall I quest?” asked then the stallion bold.
“I have but will and hooves to carry me.”
The Moon sang then a sonnet sweet, Her voice
So fair that frost on mountaintops did melt.
"The Sooth doth echo out from fields and caves
Its power makes jennets and jacks rejoice.
Hear thee the Mirth to rise and break on waves
A swimming pony there laments her voice.
The Fealty rises up above all land
The hornèd folk do value it o’er all.
Benev’lence ‘round a tribe of wingèds band—
Talons and beaks ‘turn not their siblings' call.
So Charity be trust of graceful kin
The antlered ones of forests doth attend.
And Magick last, though with it shadow'd sin;
To darkest place of all that thou must wend.
His Chaos follows close, I so perceive;
Her Love shall be thy sole befirm'd reprieve.”
The knight found steel, yet not of sword, in stead
Of forthright will, so yearned did he for deeds.
To think a maiden kept in woe did call
To see an he could make it well for them.
The Sisters there 'pon marble throne could sense
Of smould'ring knightly wont for righted wrongs.
A love beside, no bid was due for Them
To set a martial soul to course for good.
The Sun then stood, and with Her stood the sky.
"A final charge, O knight, and then depart:
Our niece be Love Herself, gave flesh and coat.
Her witness will, I pray, avail thee oft."
"An Crown doth will, so 'tis my well-come lot."
He bowed again and felt the Sky’s pure love
O’erreaching him, kissing his very soul,
With feeling clouds a-running through his mind.
He took his leave, his sword left there to rust.
Cadenza, there, to tend to him anon,
Was found well met with goodly temp'rament.
They hied from there, to wilds and lands beyond.
"Fair knight, thou hast such charms, and thou wouldst quest?"
Cadenza neighed Her fretting to the road.
"A handsome face, a stalwart will, and heart
So given to the care of tidings dark!"
"To be called fair by Love's goddess is boon
Unlooked-for by a stallion clear of mind,
But lo, I pray Thee, soft! Those so besought
As I for storied acts needeth humility."
"An thou wert Love, wouldst thou give up thyself
To empty flatteries and pleasant words?"
The knight spake not and, smiling, Love did laugh
And 'solve to keep his favour close at hoof.
The grassy plains of Burrone set ahead.
So, trav'ling haste, the two sought Harmony,
That knight and Love alike might soar to worth,
Unwit of sorrows biding in the world.
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Sweet Celestia, Luna and Cadence this is AMAZING. I haven't read any new epic poetry in years!
I cannot write good poetry as I have no sense of rhythm and my wording is... more chaotic than I'd like. But this! My goodness yes. I almost thought that this was not pony, but some knight, true and brave, to win the heart of his lady. To write and transcend those boundaries!
My goodness yes. Please continue!
Writing in iambic pentameter alone gets this right on my watchlist. Fantastic. :D And it looks like you might well have a nice quest story going on there too. Bonus!
Most impressive. And the sonnet was lovely. Truly worth a track.
Glad to see people are liking the format! I looked for some kind of "Poetry" or "Medieval Equestria" or similar group to submit it to here, but there wasn't one, so right now it's just kind of out there alone, unassociated with any particular interest group. If you folks know of a group that would likely enjoy it, please feel free to submit it. I'm not read-up on everything available out there, so you'd be doing me a favor.
I started dickering around on my phone while away on vacation for Independence Day, just putting together lines for fun, and then I realized I was writing something, so I decided to stick with it. Keeping to the format is harder than I first thought it would be; I knew it was more involved than just hitting Enter after every tenth syllable, but the stressing-unstressing scheme really forces you to write a certain way, so at times it can be slow going. It's a lot of fun, though!
You are insane. Totally mad. Utter psychopath.
Seriously, I thought I was the only one who did shit this crazy, or noticed stuff like that.
And the sonnet! My gods, that sonnet! It names each Element in proper Shakespearean-era language! I could fucking kiss you!
It goes without saying that I will be watching this story like a goddamn hawk.
You've got thee vs. thou right, but "wast" is second-person only. Thou wast. But her name was Cadenza, and Day was then to live. Similarly, A gentle mage who didst not want for eye => did not want for eye, he didst come => he did come. "didst" is second person.
909690
Whoops! Good catch. Fixed. I did the same thing for "canst," "wouldst," and "couldst," too. I fixed those as well. Thanks for the heads-up!
909129
Fun stuff, isn't it? "Modern" Equestria as it's presented in the show still seems to have plenty of medieval elements about it, so I'd say that the society either isn't far removed from its analog to the medieval era or it holds the memory of its medieval era more fondly than we do.
...or it could just be a choice of style by the show-runners.
Also, I just re-read it and realized, I get the most wonderful "The Faerie Queene" vibe from this story. as a Spenser fan, I cheer you, sir.
Also, I bow to your superior skill. I am only an Elizabethan novice. My specialty is Early 20th century pop-lit.
Absolute Elizabethan Perfection....Well done, and keep writing, you have a talent there to hold on to
As an English major and somebody who recently completed his last English literature course, I salute you. Stuff like this is so rare to see. You deserve serious recognition, simply for writing this. The style is perfect, and I'm a bit of a nerd so I checked your lines to make sure you maintained the proper meter. You did!
Seriously awesome job, I can't wait to read more.
Unrhyming? For shame! I kid, though. This is the sort of thing I've been highly discouraged to do in my program, so it's hard to approach, but I'm interested so far.
My thanks go to Fable Scroll for getting The Deed of Sooth back up here. Suffice it to say that I'll be keeping backups in Google Docs from here on out.
An English major, a worthless degree.
But it still makes you good at poetry.
Slam!
909129 Just a little correction, Shakespeare didn't live in Medieval times. It was long gone at that time.
Y'all be doin' a whole lotta fancy talkin'... I dun git it...
(I do, actually, but I must be silly!)
This is amazing and I am sad that I can't read this in my normal way due to my Dysgraphia and dyslexia but to do this story proud I shall try and read it.
I'll tell thee greater praise than gods would give
To mortals such as thou and I deserving
Praise; superlative flow, language 'bove
The Poesy of lesser men of kin.
We need much more poetry like this in the fandom; that's all I can say besides "blank verse ftw"
I am impressed by both the flow, and the construction.
930615
There is no emoticon for this. This is a gem, Def. An absolute gem!
Pray tell good sir, how do you know so many old-timely words?
Oh, gods, language I actually have to think about to read! And it's good!
...
FANFIC WRITERS!
BOW DOWN BEFORE OUR MIGHTY GOD!
There's probably some point to be made about how the rhythm's flunking around chaos deliberately because it is, y'know, chaotic, but... well... very first line and all that. If you're trying to convince me you can keep it going, this isn't the best of starts.
It's also not the only point I stumbled on in the first couple of stanzas:
There's reasons I can see why you might have done these: the one in stanza three makes sense if you pronounce Cadenza as CAdenZA -- which is the opposite of the only way we've heard it pronounced on show; seriously, listen -- and the fourth might either be switching to a trochee to emphasize the out of place nature of it or you're splitting the diphthong in 'means', which would fix the rhythm but give you a feminine ending. I can't think up any reason for why either line in stanza two is such a mess; the 'and' at the start of the second might be admittedly stressed, but that doesn't really fix it -- in order to 'fix' this line, the rhythm has to become as forced as all hells, and that is never a good thing.
Stanzas four and six seemed fine to me, which kinda makes it even more offputting that the meter's wonky elsewhere. It also feels a lot like you're writing in chains -- constrained more by your meter than rising above it. I wouldn't say it's as bad as some stuff I've read on this site -- there was a poetry compilation not that long ago with precise meter and rhyme, but it felt like every line had to be put through a wrangler to get there. This isn't that bad, but even just going off the first stanza, there's problems: your third line there feels related only to the ones that went before it through a "I mentioned the sun so here's something about the moon" type way.
I don't know. I've heard good things about this from people I trust, and the comments seemed positive enough. I'll continue reading, but I am a little dissapointed.
Sweet Luna! This is amazing! I cannot even fathom how much time and effort you put into this, all I can say is that it was totally worth it, I loved how you portrayed the characters and the setting.
I do hope the following chapters manage to amaze me even further.
You may want to do something about those broken image links.
Oh my god. :D And this is how long? I am so stoked right now.
I first found this... I don't even know how many years ago. But now, after reading Beowulf as an introduction to epic poetry, I'm so ready to read this. The writing (and reciting) of long poetry like this feels so rare today, and yet it's such an enthralling genre.
I'm really excited to read this!