Ok, just looking at the preview image . . . what the hell? I just want to Kill the Twitubed monstrosity and put it out of it's misery

Um... after reading this I have noticed a few things.

First: Just slow down a bit. I (the general read) am getting hit with a lot of info. Take your time with the story. No rush at all.

Second: I supose that there will be more right? Because there are A LOT of plot holes right now that could use some explaining.

That's it really. Pretty good. I give you a Mustache Spike:.

You know... this has some potential.

It's pretty bucked up, and I'm saying both what happens to everypony and how the plot is playing out.

Again this has great potential to become a pretty good fic! And I agree with Killer, there are so many plot holes... SO MANY!!!

So just please instead of trying to hook us with more of what you've written (And believe me what you've written is very hooking!) Try to shed some light on the topic more! Although job well done on the latest chapter (Ch4) It did make sense, after a read or 2!

i think i read this somewhere else...

and it gets insane...

FUCKING CREEPY FUCK SHIT JESUS I FUCKING SHIVERED.

Fallout New Vegas Time.

wat

What. The. Fucking. Shit. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read?

Alright, I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here, but all I know is that I am not impressed. I'm sorry, but I simply have to dismiss this as a troll fic, it's the only way I can make any sense of the existence of this fic.

Simply taking something that's cute like MLP and putting the characters in a setting that's more disturbing than Orion's Arm and 1984 combined DOESN'T make the fic thought-provoking or engaging in any way - it just makes it annoying and unpleasant to sit through.

This is the equivalent of someone writing a fic about how Blue's Clues was actually set inside the mind of a dying cancer patient - it's pointlessly contrived, gratuitous, and serves no purpose other than to disturb and/or annoy the reader. Furthermore, the entire idea of it all simply has no rhyme or reason to it; the the willing suspension of disbelief has to be set next-to-none at the beginning of a story, so you can't immediately expect the audience to accept the idea within the first few sentences that "Oh, alright, MLP is all just a dreamworld in Twilight's head, and then the Flying Spaghetti monster appeared out of nowhere and started preaching the will of the Jeebus, and Tom was God all along."

Ergo, no matter what way I look at it, this fic simply has no redeeming qualities whatsoever - it's nothing more than grimdark shit for the sake of grimdark shit, and what's worse is that nothing is paced at all, unlike other grimdark fics. Spend your writing skills on something that's actually worthwhile, would you?

I thought it was an interesting if confusing concept

I think I read this on fanfiction.net once.

Could be a fascinating read if you demonstrated any idea of whatever manner of fuck you're doing. Proper, mind-raping Grimdark requires excellent writing skills with excruciating descriptiveness.

Sorry, buck-o, but you don't have either. What am I reading. Tell me, because the fic won't.

>>5037850378

>>5056750567

Well, I'm certainly glad I wasn't the only one.

>>5037850378  "nothing more than grimdark shit for the sake of grimdark shit"

That is certainly not my intention.True, I like to play out different outrageous scenarios, trying to discover the true potentials of the basic idea (I believed I had that element covered by the category "random"). The overall picture has nothing to do with cheap gore and mind-bucking.

"Simply taking something that's cute like MLP and putting the characters in a setting that's more disturbing..."

Just a tiny hint: In the first story, Twilight Sparkle is reduced to a head in a jar. But she turns the situation around. She WINS. Because she is stronger than that. This is a pattern you will discover in many of these stories, and if anything matters here, this is it. If you think I'm one of these trolls who simply like to break their sister's dolls, you probably didn't grasp the concept.

Now you'll say "Well if you have to explain anything, your story fails on so many levels". You are entiteled to your opinion, and many people share it, but many others don't. A lot of people seem to grasp this without any explaining other than the stories themselves, or at least they are sensing there will be more ahead, knowing the meaning of the word "ongoing". The reason I'm replying to you is that you have taken your time to write a lenghty and sophisticated comment that deserves a reaction. You have explained what you think about this and why, and your reasons are good, though they come from completely different interpretations and preferences than my own.

"I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here, but all I know is that I am not impressed"

This sums it up pretty nicely.

>>5074950749 Buck them I like it. Write some more

Alriiiiiiight.

This thing was mildly insane, very fast paced and a great deal disturbing. What I could make sense of so far is that "Outbreak" is an ongoing tale that follows a single story line, while here you post more or less one-shots that stick to the overall concept established in "Outbreak", right? I am not certain what to make of this, since it is at least as far away from the usual structure of fics as it can be without getting entirely unreadable.

I like the concept, and though some might argue you are going for cheap shock value (and you certainly are sometimes) it all fits together nicely in the end. Somehow the uncertainty what to believe and what to firmly tuck away to "the be crazy, yo" territory is what keeps me interested here.

I wish to read more, but I also wish for some clarification where to place those "short stories" in the context of "Outbreak" since I am, if nothing else, a sucker for epic tales and love hunting for background information.

>>5037850378

Don't listen to this guy, he's a hater. Look at his avatar! He's even part of the Loner faction for goodness sake! How horrid!

The way I see it, Chapter 4 has two interpretations that seem to be equally valid:

1.)  Twilight Sparkle has been drugged/hypnotized into believing that she is actually a mentally ill human. At the end, she manages to break away from the effects of the drugs/hypnosis.

2.)  Tara (severely mentally ill human in a mental hospital) with delusions that she is Twilight Sparkle experiences a lucid period but she becomes combative and is sedated, returning her to Equestria. "Normal" Equestria and the whole "High Octane Nightmare Fuel" Equestria were all products of her delusional mind. At the end, she is slipping back into the delusions of her own mind.

----------

But either way, this is a seriously creepy story. I like the minimalistic descriptions and the slightly erratic writing style - it gives the fic a dreamlike quality that is eerily reminiscent of a psychotic episode.

First! Also, to tell the Truth Freeman's plan is what I am planning for the future but... A bit different. Who knows what will be possible in the future? Kinda wondering about which university should

I go to and how much would sOmething like this cost... Pretty sure that much!

Anyway! Great chapter! Waiting for more!

No matter how horrible the rest of the story gets, I'll love Fluttershy and the troopers.