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ThePizzaDeliveryPony 3032

Joined June 2012
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    ThePizzaDeliveryPony's Stories (3)

    • The Barcolt
      The road to opening the first bar in Ponyville is as interesting as the pony on the road.

      18,403 words · 368 views · 20 likes · 0 dislikes
    • Adopting / Adapting
      After a run in with the law, a young filly moves to Ponyville. Who does she move in with though?
      6,360 words · 267 views · 13 likes · 1 dislikes
    • What a Wonderful Life
      A princess is called upon in the middle of the night and goes to a room in which a mare lays dying.
      1,425 words · 264 views · 9 likes · 1 dislikes

    Updated Description: I have re-written the story, so if you have trouble understanding... well that makes sense. Same plot, but pushed back in time a bit. The old description still stands, however there is going to be less romance in the new version than originally planned. The new version is also a bit slower, but you can read the chapters faster than I can write them, so there should be no problem.

    Major point i need to make before hand... I really like Twi x Dash, and is therefore in the story. I have another story that goes into their relationship, however I have not written it yet. telling you so that a few chapters in, you are not confused by the sudden development of their relationship.

    So, i don't know if the rewrite is better, however my editor seems to believe so. It may be better than the original first chapter, or worse... I don't know, but this is all a learning experience for me, so if you get some enjoyment out of it, let me know, and if you have criticism I will take it as well.

    Original Description: A young filly has a run in with the law, but ends up getting treated pretty nicely. Whats in store for this filly? A new family, a new home, friends, danger, romance, an old family, pain, a past that catches up?

    Follow Summer as she goes through one of many ordeals in her life, and find out how ups and downs can bring out the good and bad.

    Okay, so I sat down to write one thing, and something else was created... so now i have another idea to add to the pile. This one moves a bit slower than my others I think. Not sure where this is going so all this may change as I go on. Comments and criticism are welcome. At the very least i will be having fun.

    First Published
    14th Jul 2012
    Last Modified
    31st Jul 2012

    Comments ( 12 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Well that passed much quicker than i thought it would. And it passed in the middle of the night no less... well now i have to write a new chapter for this sooner than i expected. But for now sleepytime...

    If anyone reads this, let me know what you think, this is a different writing style than most others I have written.

    -ThePizzaDeliveryPony

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Squee:yay: I love these kind of stories! They're so rare to come across! Oh please make Moar!!!

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I find the story very well written and am enjoying the style in which it is written in. Please continue to work with it. You have done a very good job of making me want to read more. :twilightsmile:

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 44w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>909232>>909553

    Thank you. you have no idea how happy those comments made me. I really appreciate the support with this story, but now i have to write more for it. i have a little plot planning, But I think I might throw it out the window and see what happens next.

    As always thanks for reading,

    -ThePizzaDeliveryPony

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 43w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I really enjoyed this chapter.

    Can't wait to see what other chapters you come up with.

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 43w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Okay, so i don't know how to put this, but i posted this sooner than i should have. just after i posted this, i managed to finally get a proof reader, and he also helps me with criticism and all that. after writing the next chapter after this, it kind of didn't work as well as i wanted.

    after thinking a little while, i decided i wanted to start fresh. i am not changing the plot, and i may incorporate this chapter as a later chapter, however i have begun rewriting the story, and my editor likes the rewritten version better.

    the rout i was taking with this chapter was not perfect, and was making it difficult to incorporate my later plot development, and character development. I really like the plot i have for this story, but i am rewriting to make the flow, and everything else, better... hopefully.

    Please forgive me!:fluttershyouch:

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 42w, 6d ago · · ·
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    just read your chapter and its a good start to the story please hurry and write more. :eeyup: :twilightsmile:

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 41w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Okay, so an update to chapter one, and i now give you chapter two. Sorry for the rewrites, and if you have any suggestions, i would love to hear them. It took on a dark tone, so i don't know how to tell you that it is funny, but maybe i can get some of it back in a later chapter?

    Thanks for reading!

    #9 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Good chapter.

    Can't wait for the next one.

    #10 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The first time I read this; I thought it was good enough to continue reading, but barely.

    Now that you've rewritten it though; I think it's spectacular! :pinkiehappy:

    The first time I read it I thought it was a little bit rushed, but now it's going at an almost perfect pace. I also especially like how you developed Summer's character this time.

    #11 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1004569

    I'm happy to hear it. the first time i wrote it, i posted before i had my editor read it, now I am sending my work to him, and he gives me advice on how to make it sound better. It is a huge help to have someone to read through my work.

    I'm sure he will be happy to know that all his help was not wasted.

    Thanks for reading.

    #12 · Chapter 2 · 41w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Great chapter cant wait for the next please hurry. :eeyup::twilightsmile::yay::pinkiehappy::pinkiesmile::heart:

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