• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 19th, 2021

Bigshot232


E

High above the mortal planes lies the sanctuary of the angels, guardians of life. One day an angel by the name of Raguel is banished from his home and sent into exile to a distant world out of their reach. How will Equestria and its inhabitants react to such a being? Will he be accepted, or will his presence cause unrest.

Only time will tell...

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 72 )

Authors Notes:

So it is finally happening, a story i keep envisioning is finally making its debut for others to see. Man i thought i had it all figured out. I drew up a summary for the story, I've written down 2 separate drafts on paper for each chapter up to 2 and have so far thrown most of it out the window. Never knew how difficult this would turn out. But now i have finally uploaded a chapter, it can only get better from here on... right?

Now i want to explain the last bit regarding the conversation. I want to get your opinions on it. Obviously you will know who it is and all, but how do you think it played out? do you think it should be tweaked or removed entirely?

Also speaking of which, if people spot any obvious mistakes, etc. feel free to not mention it... just joking!! seriously, anything that interrupts the story just email me about it, I'll do my best to correct it.

Well he's hoping you like the story

no comments. proceeding to read

All I can think of is just Tyrael, Tyrael... Followed up by multiple faces that could approximate Jizz faces...:rainbowkiss:

But I digress, carry on...:moustache:

-Jorofrarie

A few misspellings but still good. The eternal conflicts between Heaven and Hell is not the only factions fighting (Considering that some of Hell's Leaders used to be Angels). The other factions are the Denizens of the Void (The entities that survived in the mass of creation before god/the Creator created the Mortal realm but the mass is still there just less), The Dreamscape Walkers (Grows and evolves with each living individuals that sleeps [Which in turn explains why Angels and Demons don't actually sleep]), and Middle Planes (Sorry just referencing places like Limbo and other supposedly neutral places that are constantly either being conquered by another faction or has its own self standing force of some sort).

894647

Wow, believe it or not, but i never thought of the whole sha-bang like that. my knowledge was quite limited so i merely just kept to what little i knew before hand.

I've re-read both chapters and have seen some of my mistakes as well (I'm writing this in G-Mail, give me a break :fluttercry:), I'll send it to a another PC and get the corrections made when i can.

894684 I am not complaining about it as other people are quite rude at pointing it out and I find the story leaning into a new path or at least new to me. I have read stories where some paragraphs feel like it needs to be decoded just to understand it.

894732

I'm glad to hear that what i'm attempting to do is new. New is good and new is something I want to offer in my story. Though you'll find out more as the story progresses...

This is so Exciting!!:rainbowkiss:

This looks mighty interesting, keep it up.

angel of justice and slavers.......pass the popcorn

Evil shall be punished and punished harshly.

third... cool story bro ... update it again

Figures that when the chapter goes up the site's down. So here is Chapter 2. I feel I rushed this abit, but in all honesty, this chapter should have been up by Monday. Though certain things didn't make much sense so I had to tinker with it some more. :applejackunsure:

If anything feels out of place or if there are some mistakes, let me know of course. I want the story to be the best it can be. :twilightsmile:

Great, I can't wait till next chapter!

894684 Eh, all those other realms are just tropes thrown into modern fiction. It's fashionable to make your other realms as over-complicated as possible, which I actually find quite grating at times. Take inclusion of them in your tale with a grain of salt. Only if they fit your narrative. if not, no need to try and force them in.

970783

Have no fear, These 'realms' simply act as a backdrop to help remind readers what the angels do without letting too much slip with regards to how I want them seen in the story.

Edit*
Sorry looking back at your comment I get the feeling you think the conversations are of other things, don't worry, it'll all be clear much later in the story, just know the angel is being 'watched' somehow.

The final part was okay, it would make sense for Celestia to have some sort of instinct being as long lived as she is.
P.S. Thank you so MUCH for doing this story, you don't know how many times I've thought about this being made, and I must say that you're doing it much better than I would have expected
P.P.S. Nice bible lore by the way, and by any chance have you read any of the Dresden Files? Cause I'm guessing that's where you got the name Uriel

972779
Cheers about the last part. When making the story I wanted something at the end of each chapter to get people thinking of whats happening with other areas without doing chapter previews. I'm glad it's working out so far. :twilightblush:

No worries about the story, I just hope I can do it justice. The idea has been stuck in my head ever since I joined the site in April. :derpytongue2:

The bible lore was kind of not meant to appear in the story at first. But after re-drafting it a couple of times I found that I needed names to go with the other angels and background, so I googled 'Archangels'. This also led to a big change as Raguel was gonna be called Gaybriel. But then I found out that it was a she and blah blah blah. I also found Uriel there too as the angel of knowledge. This was the site I used: www.angelfocus.com/archangels.htm

Here's hoping the story meets with everyones expectations :rainbowdetermined2:

Only one word can judge this battle scene..

encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSU_yinhZyAqzpbLsJWg0HIE1xomHvwrMbUgy0NZYr2O3oSgJpkrQ

Can't wait to read more, this fic is really good.

First thing to come in mind- My name's Castiel and i'm the angel of the lord.

A few spelling errors, but it's looking good.
Can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

1024379
From the Supernatural? I guess I can see that:pinkiecrazy:
1024409
Rats, I checked it so many times with Word:applecry: I'll have a quickie over it and see what I can find. Ty for the heads up :ajsmug:

Good but I think they treat him a bit to regularly. Unless they don't know what an angel is?

Nice...Like the story Bigshot232....

1025940
Nope they have never seen an angel before, nor has an angel from the sanctum ever been or seen this world either (It's why Raguel did what he did in chapter 1). Though the key to Twilight ,applejack and fluttershy acting like they do is because of Spike, but as you can judge from the last bit of the story, not everyone feels the same way.

going to the party or not going to the party is the question :D

1024379 HA! Thank you for putting that thought in my head.

1024409>>1024553 I hope you don't mind if I point this out but one spot that was quite noticeable was the very first sentence:

"Pain, an unpleasant and emotional experience asscotiated with damage or potential damge to a living being."

You misspelled "associated" and "damage".

Twilight sees a human angel, no reaction, not even a single question. :facehoof:

And after all that time I present to you chapter 5!!:ajsmug:
...
:ajbemused:
...
ZZZZzz:ajsleepy:

Wonder how Raguel is gonna respond when Celestia tells him that she knows him. :rainbowhuh:

Awesome job, but you need to proofread and get punctuation right.

Awsome story but its SIGH not SIGN :facehoof:

Heh, sorry about some of the mistakes :twilightblush: I was a little tired when I put up this chapter. I just got on a roll with some of typing that I ended up pushing myself to finish.

Just a quick fix i have attended to the sigh vs sign issue but will look through it properly at some point

Celestia is a banished angel as well perhaps?

This story is actually quite intriguing. You have my favorite. I look forward to how to more

Not trying to be rude, but is English a second language of yours? You seem to mix up a few words

1317182
It's quite embarrassing to say this :applecry: but English is my first language (I live in England). I'm dyslexic (not sure if I spelt that right) so I find it difficult to pronounce, read and write long words. Not to say I don't have a wide volcabilary, but I have always found writing a great difficulty to do :derpyderp2:

But it will never stop me from trying, you can only get better at something if you keep doing it :rainbowdetermined2:

I guess I need some kind of proof reader or editor or something :applejackunsure:

Oh, this looks like it is going to shape up into quite the interesting story... Hope you get to update soon!!! I want to read more of this!:twilightsmile:

1331917
Aw shucks, I'm mighty happy to hear your enjoying the story so far:ajsmug:

I'm still writing out the chapter in my book at the moment, but I can honestly say I'm having a hoot of a time doing it, hopefully everyone else will enjoy the next chapter as much as I have writing it.

Speaking of which, I think I'll update my user page with how I am actually going about writing the chapters in my story. Might let people know why it takes me awhile to update an so forth.

Well here she is, Mrs Chapter 6, that's right, she's married so hands off :trixieshiftleft:

ERMERHGERD NEW CHAPTER

'his hanus act' heinous not hanus

Typed: Nice story.
Reality: OMGWTFISGUNHAPPENPLEASEMAKENEHWCHAPTAHRMENEEDNONOWWWWWWW:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

dun dun duuuun :rainbowlaugh:

A few grammar errors, but nothing that breaks the deal for me.

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