This idea crossed my mind when I looked at my facebook page and due to ponyhoof, my status box says "What lessons in friendship have you learned today?" I posted a small section of this fic there off the top of my head, and then decided to go ahead and write it out.

I didn't bother editing or revising it, so feel free to point out any typos and stuff like that so I can get around to fixing them eventually.

Swag Swag everywhere

Hmm... I find the ending slightly odd. Is Celestia saying that she will still always consider or accept Twilight as her student, or is she stating that Twilight cannot simply 'stop' being her student?

Apart from that, A very nice story... which apparently took 21 hours to be approved. Ouch.

Very nice little story indeed.

You should write the reply Celestia makes, that would be awesome.

And possibly, not forcing you or anything but this would be cool, maybe a journal Twilight writes while on her journey.

Anywho, I think you did the story perfectly.

I applaud you.

*applause*

It started out rambling, and I was unsure where you were going with it. But then it ended nicely and with a touching moment from Celestia.

It's oddly stilted in a few places, and the concept is solid but the actual execution, especially in the individual stories, seems a bit lacking. It's also terribly short for a concept like this, which could have some serious potential to grow.

Image: http://www.jonhusby.com/gif/citizen-kane-clapping-gif.gif

Beautiful.

Honestly, all of the ideas in the story would be better served as fics in their own right. I'd love to read a good fic about Big Mac's singing career, or Twilight discovering that Starswirl was also Celestia's protege with a purple dragon.

As it stands, it felt like a series of random what-ifs stuck together within the loose framework of a letter. I'm not 100% sure how the things with Big Mac, Lyra and Luna are supposed to tie together with her future plans, or why she'd bring them up in the first place.

Another issue is that the pacing is way too fast; there just doesn't seem to be enough time to focus on any one thing. To me, the story read like this: "X happened to Y pony, which is sad. Also, Y happened to Z pony. Q pony told me this. I'm going to go travel the world. Bye."

My recommendation is either to elevate the ideas to full fic status, or explain their connections to each other better and give them more time to flesh out and have more impact on the reader.

This one has some power behind it! Beautiful!

>>888070888070 If I may take a stab at the reasoning behind these things: Twilight is picking out things that have produced the emotional effects that she is having trouble coming to terms with - namely that friendship isn't always enough. In short, Twilight is becoming self aware enough to tackle philosophy on her own terms, and in reply, Celestia is proud because she's always know the things that Twilight is talking about - and she's always known that such a path has to be chosen and experienced, not taught. Celestia has done everything in her vast wisdom to help Twilight to get to this point, and recognises that while Twilight thinks she is breaking from her prescribed path, Celestia knows she's merely taking the first step on a much more meaningful one.

Overall, the fic is more power because of it's understatement. It is much better to be misunderstood by many but have something worthwhile to say. As someone who has battled depression for many years, and now walk the path of the philosopher, I can personally attest to the very real-world relevance of this letter. No amount of friendship can replace the need for self-knowledge. Not ever.

-Scott 'Inquisitor' Mence

what i got from this

Twilight: its time for me to move on from being a student and help others in greater ways

Celestia:go ahead and help others im proud of you but one does not simply quit being my student

and dammit i was about to submit a story just like this well shit oh well time to write the fluttershy one or just not write one idk im bored its late goodnight

Oh wow omg this is a compleat rip off of Eternal dude what is wrong with you

I jest.

Great fic

Interesting. I like it, but I will agree with some of the other comments that it is rather short. I know you wrote in a very short amount of time, but I think the concept behind this had a lot more potential. It could have been a lot more drawn out and emotional.

The points about Big Mac and Lyra seem a bit disjointed, since they're not led into or out of, and they don't appear to be related to the idea of wanting to move on in life. If anything, it's more like she wants to move away from those sad memories and thoughts in Ponyville.

She could also have mentioned her friends and how she might miss them (or not), or what they're doin/feeling. It'd work without talking about them, but I think since they're such a big part of her life, she might have thought of them.

It feels a bit wrong to be so critical of something you wrote in such a short amount of time, and really it is quite sweet, but I just think it could've been more.

>>888070888070 Big Mac's singing career? Looks like they did have a pony version of Johnny Cash after all!

>>888343888343

Well come on now you. You know when I do these sorts of things, I tend to write a completely different fic based on it. I was actually thinking about writing an adventure fic featuring Twilight's journey through Equestria and meeting shit loads of pony OC's to help. Very similar to The Last Airbender, it would basically be her flying around with Spike (probably in search of a vague prophetic rumor or something like that) and helping troubled towns. Story development or an unfolding could happen at some point as well.

This is just something I felt like writing to get it out of my head.  

It could have been written a bit smoother and drawn out a bit, as Ariamaki said. It seems a bit stilted and and odd in some areas, but this was a beautiful idea, it just could have been executed a little better. The idea of it being a oneshot is perfect for it, I think.

Well done.

>>888393888393

This would be cool.

>>888157888157 Gotta love good ol' Mr. Jafari.

This wasn't bad. Nicely done. One criticism I have is that I don't think the topic of suicide fits in a letter that is supposed to be as momentous as this one in Twilight's (and perhaps even Celestia's) life. Other than that, I enjoyed this.

>>887952887952 >>888393888393

While I agree with Ariamaki that there is major potential for this fic, I do feel that this was just something you needed to write down. Well, you've graced us with it, and now it's up to you whether or not to polish this concept up. I do hope to see more based on this concept in the future.

That was goo. That was REAL good for one of those "I need to write this down!" moments.

...as for what you did to Lyra...

Image: http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/angry-no.png

Sophisticated Spike approves of this work of beauty and grace. 6/5

Great story

Bravo my friend and if you don't mind me saying this MORE!!!

..y-you killed Lyra. That's not nice.

Anyway, great story. I really enjoyed it.

Wow, depressing. Still touching though. I love how Celestia is like 'you're still my student, BISH!'

Wait, so did Big Mac's mother die from a heart condition or from being stabbed?  If the latter, why mention the heart condition?  If the former, what effect did the stabbing have?

>>888101888101

One does not simply quit being Celestia's student into Mordor.

>>891908891908

Lol, oops. I thought I removed all traces of the heart condition being mentioned. (The result of not properly revising)

That was really really good.

One word. Brilliant.

I am not going to lie: That was great!

I mean, someone can easily learn something very importatnt from this fic.

Deep...very deep indeed!

So sweet and i loved that you made Starswirl Celestia's student! It's one of my favorite theories.... Oh and congrats on the 100 likes~

Very powerful writing. And this was very deep for such a short story.

I like tragic stuff. I love Lyra, and her being killed really moved me. =D

Keep up with the good stuff.

PS : I find the end to be perfect, I wouldn't see it any other way.

That was a really good one-shot..........you earn congratulatory pinkies

I dawww'd. :3

Cool story bro.

I'll be very honest: I didn't enjoy this much. It wasn't bad or anything, it just seems like it was a sad story purely for the sake of being sad.

>>14182131418213

... Oh...

>>14182131418213 Don't really agree, I've read plenty of stories that were sad just to be sad, this one isn't even really all that sad to me I am actually relatively emotional and I didn't cry for this story.  As for the story, it was okay, not ImJustAnotherBrony's best work but definetly not bad.