i cant wait for the next part of le retour. when are you going to release it?

Yes k12 (I'll just call you k12 from now on) you said stay tuned, least you didn't said "th-th-that's all folks!"

My final score to the fic (in credits I do from 1 to 100.99)

I give it  a 86.45, meaby not the best in the gender but enjoyable as hell, funny as hell and good story

Yay, I got mentioned again :D

YES CELESTIA YES P2 this is the greatest fic ever! I waas sad about p66! Finnaly!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEQUEL!!!

this is one of the best stories i've read, the only problem was a few proofreading errors (like typos or incorrect word usage). i'm hoping to see more works like this soon :)

Wish fulfillment fics Rule 1, Don't write shitty wish fulfillment fic, honestly I read this entire "thing" and honestly, heres the main, problems.

1. You Gary Stued the crap out of the Human.

2. You made every other character beckon to his every wish, it comes off as extremely inorganic. Not to mention it lets you turn this into a clopfic.

3. This is a clopfic, don't bother denying it, its just a stupid chance for you to write yourself banging RD

All in all, its a crappy fic. And I REALLY want to punch you, and rip out the perverted parts of your brain, and leave the decent writer parts.

Congrats, your the first brony I every wanted to assault.

>>718334718334

To quote Harry Dresden, "You mad, pony?"

Fic is always wish fulfillment.  Some is better than others.  This isn't bad at all.

There's always worse...

>>787996787996

Actually, this is the worst i've read, and yes I am rather upset at the misrepresentation of 97% of the characters, along with everything else mentioned prior.  Now if you'll excuse me I need to erase the shittyness of this story out of my head with some Mario Kart.

I found this story in a link (be sure to thank Omnius for that)and haven't even read it yet. But, 60+ chapters FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-.

>>15014391501439

Yeah I know, but Kyle haven't write the story for a real long time now, so... :(

awesome story ;D I think I read too much I feel tireddd

i hereby demand a sequel

This is by far my most favourite HiE fic! it's funny, whitty and downright AWESOME!!!!

A MOUSTACHE FOR YOU, GOOD SIR

Well... After having carved through the entirety of the story... It's not bad. Truth be told, it's not good either. I assume you're a relatively new writer. I'm a bit rusty myself. I intend to start writing a fanfic of my own soon for this site actually. Just telling you that it sucks or that it's awesome won't do you any good though.

You've got potential. I'll start with that.

Your biggest issue with this was the over the top hero worship of the main character. Wish fulfillment and all is fine, but the human character is entirely unrelatable. No singular person is ever that two dimensional... Heck, even the original characters on the show aren't that two dimensional. That's WHY all of us bronies and pegasisters are fans. Many of us stepped in to humor our little cousins, daughters, or in my case, nieces expecting to be bored out of our minds. Instead, we got something else entirely. It captivated our minds and sent our imaginations running to places and seeing things many of us hadn't thought about since we were children. That relatability is what makes the show and it's writing so enjoyable. Your work, up to this point lacks that almost entirely.

Your writing style, while enjoyable in it's own weird way, does need a bit of work. For one thing my friend, grab a thesaurus some time. They are a writer's best friend.

Sadly, I must agree with one of the earlier comments, to a degree. This is absolutely a clopfic. However, you approached the topic with some dignity. I must give you credit there. IN my opinion, that's one of the best ways to insert a scene of romance into almost any work. Short, to the point, and with all of the goings on behind closed doors left to the reader's imagination. That you did remarkably well. In fact, I'd almost be willing to say that how you approached that topic was the best part of your writing.

There's only one major other critique I feel the need to give you. There are a variety of others I could give, but this one i think is the most important of those that remain to be given. Too many references bud. Doc Who, the Travelers, Men In Black... Tone it down a little, or at least come up with a bit more of a justification. and backstory as to why these creatures and people are HERE of all places. Should you choose to reference other works in the future, I would also recommend ensuring that the bits you are citing are cannon in those other works. There were a large number of things you wrote regarding Doctor Who specifically, that were FAR and away from the cannon of that particular series. I'm certain that the Doc was not the only victim of this. As an avid fan of that work though, the inaccuracies were rather infuriating. I would suggest doing a little research in the future to alleviate such problems. Instead, do your best to create a well defined reason as to why those things are different in the world you are recreating. A little would go a very long way in that regard.

I look forward to seeing how you may progress in the future. Best of luck.