AUTHORS NOTE: Almost Christmas, everyone! I hope y'all are ready for the Hearth Warming chapter! It's gonna rock! And don't forget to hear that teaser I made of the audio book. I bet you'll love it.

I sat in the bakery, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busy in the back cooking, and I was watching Pinkie to make sure she didn't eat everything they made the second they turned their backs.

"Please? Just one teensie-weensie-eensie little bite?"

"Pinkie, what did the Cakes say?"

"'One little bite leads to a snack,' I know..."

I saw the day's newspaper sitting on a table nearby. I picked it up and started reading from the back to the front, a habit I picked up out of nowhere one day when I was little.

When I got to the front page, my jaw dropped. There was a picture of me... And below it...

"DJ 1NS4N1TY's identity discovered! The human who has made himself comfortable here in our world is also its newest DJ!"

"How did somepony find out? I kept it so quiet, I didn't even put my picture on albums, I never DJ outside of Ponyville... The only thing people know about me is my fashion, and even then, lots of ponies have been buying ponified versions of my hat and jacket..."

I had no idea how anypony could have found me out. Then, I looked out the window of the bakery. There was a crowd of ponies from all around, gathered at the window, staring at me.

"It's DJ 1NS4N1TY! WE LOVE YOU!" They started pounding on the glass, shouting and screaming.

"Oh horseapples. Pinkie, is there a secret way out of here?"

"Yep! You can go upstairs, and in the attic, there's a super-duper secret hatch leading to the roof!"

"Awesome... But why?"

"So we can clean off the roof easily whenever winter comes along!"

"Oh. Well, thanks Pinkie!"

I rushed up the stairs and into the attic, and sure enough, there was a string leading from the ceiling down to a pony's eye level. I yanked it, and a trap door opened, and a ladder slid down. Upon climbing it, I was on the roof. I looked over the edge, and nopony noticed me. They were intently staring into the window, waiting for me to descend the stairs.

"Morons..."

I jumped off the other end of the roof into a back alley, hovering with my sneakers to break my fall.

"OK, now I just gotta find a place to hide..."

I said that a bit too loudly. "HE'S BACK HERE!"

I saw the horde convulse on me. I was backed into a corner, and there was no way out... But the dumpster next to me. I hopped up on it, and jumped, grabbing onto the edge of the wall I was backed against.

"Not today, folks! DJ 1NS4N1TY, OUT!" I jumped over to the other side and started sprinting away. I though of AJ's orchard.

"That place is huge. They would never find me out there."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AJ led me out to a very secluded part of the orchard.

"Yer' gonna be just fine here. Nopony's gonna be able to get t' Ya'."

"Thanks, AJ." I heard a twig break. "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?"

"Relax, sugarcube, I just stepped on a twig."

"Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid..."

"Ah' c'n see that. Well, Ya'll just stay here, wait fer' a lil' while. Ah'll be back with somethin' t' eat later."

"OK..."

AJ walked away, and I slumped over on a tree.

"Ugh... Confound these adoring fans, they drive me to seclusion."

I sat there for a good ten minutes, when I heard another twig break.

"AJ? That was quick..."

Then, I heard a few bushes rustle, and some leaves being kicked up, and I heard the snow crunching beneath hooves.

"Oh no..."

"IT'S HIM! HE'S HERE!"

"AH!" I scrambled up the tree I was sitting at.

"Come down! We love you!" It was that mare I had saved from the mugger.

"YES, AND YOU SCARE ME!"

"BUT WE'RE YOUR FANS!"

"I liked it better when y'all didn't know who I am..."

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!" I saw a familiar streak of cyan, and before I knew it, Dashie was standing in front of the tree, protecting me.

"And what're YOU gonna do about it?"

Dashie smiled, and flew up into the air, and started flying in circles, faster, and faster, and faster, until she was just a rainbow colored tornado. She scooped up all of the fans, and spun them about.

"AH! PUT US DOWN!"

"Not until you agree to leave Kyle alone..."

"ALRIGHT! JUST PUT US DOWN! *Mph* I think I'm gonna be sick..."

Dashie slowed to a stop, and eventually, all my crazy fans were standing around... Well, wobbling around.

I climbed down from the tree, and one of the fans approached me.

"Heh... Sorry... We just got a little-"

"Carried away, I know. But fear not, 1NS4N1TY is quite forgiving... Just go home..."

"Right! Hey, everypony! The DJ says to go home!"

They all groaned, but they left. Me and Dashie just stood there, the snow falling on our heads.

"Thanks for saving me, Dashie."

"No problem. I am the hero of Ponyville, after all."

"Yeah, and you're the greatest mare I've ever met."

"Awww... Thanks." I knew how to make her happy by now: Stroke her ego.

We hugged, and decided to go home and get out of the cold.

Thanks to paranoia, I didn't sleep a wink that night.