It's a nice start, a little date rape-y (the part with Daizy and and her 'date'), the syntax and formatting are good and the writing doesn't have any errors or at least none I can see. I wouldn't expect a huge wave of trackers or readers yet, just because their isn't enough bait on the lure. Like I said it's a nice start and as long as it doesn't get too dark or involve Dubstep, I'd like to see where this goes.

Peace Out.

A interesting story. I will give this story a thumbs up and a favorite and wait a eternal wait for the next chapter.

Hmm. I can sense Daizy becomeing super jealous after she realizes what she did and how the OC ended up after.

>>884709884709

Now, now... Lets not jump to conclusions, my friend.

Nice. Now I'm wondering  if we will see his ex or hear about Vinyls last relationships.

this is comming along quite nicely

Karma's a bitch, isn't it Daizy?

this reminds me of something... though I can't put my hoof on it. hmmmm

>>897999897999

You do? That's not good. I don't want to sound like I'm copying someone else's work

>>898171898171 just seems weird, I have never read anything like this, but I have a strange sense of deja vue

>>898497898497

hmm... alrighty then.

This is a good story. A VERY good story actually. Keep up the good work!

And because of you're effort's I will give you a 'stache

(Reads the ending of this chapter)

Daaaaaawwww! that right there just made my heart to mealt . I just cant seem to get enough of these cliche moment's. Keep up the good work!

My heart just exploded. TOTALLY WORTH IT

>>883089883089 Yeah I can agree with him, no mistakes to be found. >>885017885017 To clarify any questions, No I am not going to Costa Rica, well at least not any time soon. So, I will be able to work with you anyways.

HOLY SHEET no mistakes... or this dubstep was too loud, and messed up my editing skills. Whatever. GOOD JOB!

I feel so great to have been missed so  much. I hated being away too, Heartbeat. :3

Ok, great job. The ending had elements of suspense, and just the right touch of romance. These are what make your stories so great. You don't go to big on the romance, and you always play the suspense card right. :D plus, you don't have them all repetitive. Ever single one is unique. Great job brosef! /)

>>903152903152

Thanks alot

Flares special somepony is either octavia or fake

Wow mate this is an awesome short sweat story. nice one

Thank you HeartBeat for making such a awesome story!

"My couch!"

Trololololol

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE END! MOAR

sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ sequal PLZ

>>940369940369

Id love to, but how would I continue it?

>>940887940887 What ever happened to Flare and Octavia's realization that she shoulda taken him up on his offer? In chapter 6, Snow said he had somepony to talk to when he got back, what happened to that?

>>945142945142He was going to go speak to Flare once he got back into town. But I forgot about that part So I think I dun goofed.

>>945493945493 mhm,

>>947336947336 i believe an epilogue should wrap things up quite nicely.

>>947471947471 You don't know how much your reply made me laugh right now, I'm crying! I think you meant 'things' not 'thongs' BWA~HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>947485947485 oh crap! yeah I ment things

>>947925947925 Lol, I was crying over here, that made my day.

>>947949947949

I guess it was pretty funny

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW so cute i love

you could have a sequel where vinyl and snow raising kids and going through life delema's?

>>10783351078335

Thanks for the idea, friend

so let's see how much swag Snow has on his date tomarrow...

so beautiful!

I was smiling the whole chapter. Well done

Beautiful

That...Was fucking adorable...... No amount of emoticons can explain how awesome this was!