"You sure about this, Dash?"
"Of course I'm sure, now seal me up!" Derpy just shook her head and did as she was told, carefully making sure that the tape will be strong enough to hold while still letting air in for the box's passenger.
Dash found herself getting ever more excited as her eyes became accustomed to the darkness. Not that she had much to see, since the cardboard box only just had enough space to fit her. She shifted her legs to a more comfortable position and tried to calm herself. Last time she got so excited the box soaked through and she fell out. As she calmed, she thought of where she might end up. Manehattan? Fillydelphia? Maybe even Cloudsdale or Canterlot!
After a minute, she felt herself being lifted up. The slow bump of being carried brought a new flush of excitement, and it took all she had not to squee in pleasure. After a short canter over to the delivery wagon, she felt herself being slid into place. Her wings were uncomfortably wedged against the box, restrained from reaching their full length. The box felt like a furnace, and RD's stuck out tongue dripped with saliva, wetting her chest. She silently wondered what could possibly be more wonderful than the sensations she was experiencing, short of joining the Wonderbolts.
She listened sharply to the sound of boxes being loaded, felt the gentle bump as each was slid into place. After a few more minutes, the loading stopped and a slam indicated the door of the wagon was shut. Soon, Dash felt the wagon shift, and knew it was about to depart. It bounced around a bit as whatever pony was pulling it got used to the reins, and then smoothly accelerated to speed.
This was the first time Dash had ever tried the airmail, she realized. She figured it would be smooth, without all the gentle bumps that so tantalized her, but she swore to herself she’d at least try it. And while the straightaways were quite smooth, Dash found herself thoroughly enjoying the surprising amount of turns the driver took, sliding the boxes around in the cabin and giving Dash that amazing feeling of being completely out of control she so loved. Each slide was so tantalizing, it was almost as if she was plummeting through the air, but it was so wonderfully short-lived as the box bumped against the wagon’s wall and stopped. And every time the box behind Dash would gently nudge her, making her feel ever more close to her own body despite the space around her not changing.
She tried to wipe the sweat on her brow, but her soaked foreleg only wet her head more. Every single inch of her was covered in one liquid or another, and the box was as warm as it ever had been. Dash wished she could squeeze her forehoof between her cramped legs, just to relieve some of the pressure. She eventually couldn’t take it, and shifted to put herself against the side of the box. It had been her downfall last time, but so had not having the proper preparations. Derpy had been informed to use the tape to give the box a full wraparound, so there was no way it wouldn’t hold.
She silently enjoyed her new position for a few minutes, but soon felt the bump of a touchdown. She stopped and waited for the wagon to be opened, checking the box to make sure it wasn’t revealing anything. It was wet, of course, but nothing too terrible. She waited excitedly as the mailponies slowly unloaded the packages. Soon, she felt herself hefted up. The box caved in slightly, causing Dash to almost cry out, but it held form enough to hide its contents. She felt every last bump as the mailpony trotted to whatever destination had been set on the box. It was torture of a wonderful kind trying to restrain herself from screaming in ecstasy, and her mind swam in endorphins. After an eternity, Dash was lowered rather harshly to the floor, and her rump nearly bounced on the ground. She made a gasp and her eyes shot wide as she silently waited to be revealed. She released her breath as she heard the mailpony canter off, apparently not curious enough to check the contents.
Suddenly, a trace of fear began to grow as Dash looked around her narrow field of vision. She realized the box was pretty well secured, and it would be a harsh effort to bust out. She was contemplating how she would do it when she felt herself lifted up again. This time, however, the feeling reached all around her, almost as if she were being lifted by magic. It was a tantalizing feeling, and Dash forgot herself as she let the warmth wrap around her. As she returned to the ground, though, she realized that she was likely going to have a pony to explain to once the package opened. On cue, a box cutter emerged through the cardboard and cut a path. After a few more cuts, the box’s flaps opened.
“P-princess?”
“Rainbow Dash.” Celestia looked down into the box at the sweaty, sloppy pony that resided within. “What brings you to the castle?”
“Ah, umm...” RD quickly scrambled into an upright position and bowed. With a streak of red across her sky blue face, her eyes traced their way up the imposing figure in front of her, not quite reaching the face.
“Well?” Celestia reached forward and pulled Rainbow’s face up. “Why did you decide to ship yourself here?”
“It wasn’t really my choice...” Rainbow Dash was the most embarrassed she had ever been. “My friend just sticks whatever mailing address she can get.”
“Sounds a little dangerous. Any purpose?”
“N-none I’d like to discuss.”
“I see.” Celestia smirked. “Perhaps you can drop in again sometime. Anyway, before you head out, care to stay a while? You’d probably at least like a bath by the looks of it.”
“Th-that’d be nice... I guess.” Rainbow Dash followed the princess deeper into the castle.
da fuk was that?
Da fuck did I just read?
............
I am thoroughly amazed. And a lllleeeeeeeeeeeetle creeped out, but still amazed. You even covered all the bases of what such a fetish would entail. Take all of these fucking stars, every single one.
Wow. Thank you for almost murdering me with laughter. Jerk.
You win everything. Every single one of my internets.
The scary part is, I sorta want to ship myself somewhere now.
That...made a really awkward sort of sense. Maybe. Great writing, though.
ITS TRUE SHE CAN BE SHIPPED WITH EVERYTHING EVEN SHIPPING ITSELF
What did I just read?
lol
what?
5/5.
... WHAT?!
Don't like it, I presume?
It's alright. Can't please everyone. Hope you have a nice day anyway.
48876
I maintain a strict policy of: Rating up when I like something and it's amazing, not rating at all when I don't like it but it's well done, and rating down when it's fucking awful.
Everyone should do this. This is well-written, you're just maaaaaaayud.
And for the record, I can give him as many stars as I damn well fuckin' please.
48877
It's not a matter of "I don't like it". It's a matter of "wat".
48887 Was talking to Idle, but that's cool. It is a kinda weird story, the idea came from a post on a forum.
Have a nice day.
Well, it was definitely weird, and not my cup of tea, but it wasn't bad. I'd give it a 3 due to there being no spelling errors, which is a rarity, and it was very descriptive.
It was an incredibly absurd idea, yet it somehow... worked. I found myself laughing harder than I should have.
You get 4.5 stars from me for sheer guts in writing this and making it hilarious.
:D omg, i want moaaaaaaaaaaaar
looooooooool at the beginning, when i read the desc. i didnt get what it meant, but now i do
At first I thought this was going to be some sort of clop fic and almost stopped reading, but this was hilarious. Rainbow Dash shipped with shipping itself.
AHAHAHA!.... wait.... I hope this aint molestia universe.
What is it about Rainbow Dash and bizarre puns? And just how soaked is it possible to get on your own inside an otherwise empty box? Heat-related sweat is one thing, but...
Oh, and also,
I love puns so much. I was just going to ship her with a potted plant or something, but this is a way better take on the cliché.
I...You...
Yes.
...
Yes.
It's the best concept I have seen, and definitely the best approach to it. It's bucking serious, but it's a bucking parody as well.
Some would say bucking pointless.
But, as the genius, insane and deceased mind of Sarah Kane would say,
Pointless Bucking.
That's how much I loved it. I even quoted HER.
You sir, are a great writer. The story itself maybe lacks some of the great things, but you truly do how to make a random, short piece of comedy.
Last piece of comedy of this calibre I read had to do with second person and you being inanimate objects engaging with ponies in perfectly normal activities, but it was told in such a way...Well, let's just say, you didn't know what Luna was sucking on until you were told you were a bottle in the end.
.....WAT.
I don't even...
XD
Second line and I saw what was coming. I lol'd. XD I have no IDEA what made you write this, and it's weirder than weird... I liked it. Also...the thrill fetish thing oddly mades sense for Dash...
Also, 5/5 because I was thoroughly amused!! :D
my entire reaction.
My initial reaction. I guess it's true, then. RD could be shipped with anything, anypony and any...action I guess.
Yo Dawg, I heard you liked shipping, so I put a shipping in your shipping while your ship ships!
rofl 5/5 stars
My mind is so full of fuck right now I will use an image to express how awesome this is.
i92.photobucket.com/albums/l23/muai_2006/Reactions/Pinky/898.png
That is all.
what is this i don't even...
WHO THE FUCK GETS OFF BY BEING CARRIED IN A BOX?!
I didn't expect something like this... And it was only after Celestia said it that I realized what this story was all about.
The amount of sipping stories I like can be counted on one hand but this one definitely deserves a place in that list for the brilliant idea. 5/5
Oh dear lord, I can't stop laughing.
Lul wut
most amusing though. Short and sweet
>I have a semi now.
>Whyboner
What is...I don't even....wow. Dunno whether to laugh or be confuzzled, so I think I'll do both...
This is about the longest drawing out of a pun I've even seen.
I love it!
..........Uh.......um...........ah...Wat?
Uh...um...*shattering glass*
You are full of win...and a very weird idea source...but mostly win!
And now, I sign off!
Godspeed you magnificent bastard-BlazingShadowBrony
ooooooooohhhhhhhhh THAT kind of shipping. i thought this was gonna be some sort of ship-ception. and i was real curious as to how dash would date a concept. but this makes more sense. lol
I'm not the only one who created one of these meta concepts. I'm trying to convince my friends to post their own work. I can't seem to convince them, though.
Well, that was different.
x Boxes is now in my headcanon, I don't care how little sense it makes.
This was so awesome. Pony faces cannot express my happiness, laughter, bewilderment, and sheer love for this story. But they can try.
48877 Whoops. No, I did like it, my reaction was more "wut" than anything. Very odd take... but well written. The 5/5 was the stars I gave. :P
At first, when I read the summary, I thought "shipped with shipping. What?" and clicked out of morbid curiosity.
About ten seconds later, I started laughing my head off as it all became clear. The ending was a tad abrupt, but apart for that, I have nothing to object about.
5 stars. Take 'em all.
this is brilliant, but I'm not sure how... except it is. Rather meta concept, here.
didn't see that coming lol though now that i think of it, dash doing something like that doesn't seem all that unlikely
49870 my thoughts exactly
Did..
She...
What....?
49716Have you ever considered shipping dash with dash?
Featured for one chapter?
Good job