i haven't read the story yet, but Salò, the movie that set the bar for being banned through out the world, that movie. If so, I'm gonna have to read this. Haven't had a good scare or something creeping me out in a long time.

*sees chapter title*

...Well, shit.

You have every right to express your freedom of creativity, You really do. I'm all for it! That being said, this honestly takes the cake of being one of, if not the most revolting thing that I've seen posted on this site. You deserve every thumb down that you'll no doubt get for incorporating ponies into one of the most loathed and heinously awful movies of all time.

There is no reason to have so much disgusting material. There COULD be, but it takes a lot to justify the shit that goes on in here.

Dear god, man... I think you may have written something that will inevitably become one of the most hated and taboo pieces of pony literature in our fandom, growing to the level of Cupcakes, if not worse! There are just some things in this world that ponies were not meant to be mixed with, and that movie is DEFINITELY at the top of the list. This is utterly disgusting, and I wish that my curiosity hadn't gotten the better of me. There is not enough Brain Bleach in the world for this one!!!

>>881601881601

Cupcakes is not even very shocking, not to mention it's not well written. Doesn't deserve it's infamy.

But as for this story, there's no reason to make a story like this asides from shock value, which is a terrible, terrible reason to write something-or in this case, just take one universally reviled thing, and put things from something completely unrelated in it.

If I could rate this down twice, I would.

>>881666881666 I agree with you actually. Cupcakes is terrible, but I feel this was written just to get a rise out of everyone in the community in the same way Cupcakes did, only on a much worse scale. Once enough people inevitably read it, it's certainly going to do it's job, but I think that the inevitable train wreck that this is going to end up as could have been avoided.

Saying essentially "don't like, don't read" does not make you immune to ridicule and criticism. The theme alone makes it undeserving of my eyes.

Trollficing is trollficing, but there are lines you shouldn't cross.

"Her tongue poked itself into my ass. The feeling was glorious." ಠ_ಠ

This, Sir, is one of the most disgusting, revolting, and despicable pieces of filth I have ever read.  Well done.   This was well written, It amused me, and I'm not sure which of us that says worse things about .   It will be interesting to see how this story is received by the community at large.

I award this 7 evil mustaches.

I clopped to this good sir! (No Joke)

You wrote something that my boner rejected. Thanks for letting me know I was still human.

no...just no.

I think i'll pass on this one...

Lets put something funny here for the lolz! :D

... Oh god where to begin...I just read all of it, and while I respect the freedom of speech and writing, I must say that I suddenly understand while censor is still so popular in some countries.

I can't really give this a like or dislike. Sure I really don't like the story, but you certainly nailed the mood and horror / insanity of “120 days of Satö”. So it's not a bad story,  more of a well written, but sad and unlikeable one.

The good parts:

believe able characters, good pacing, didn't find any flaws in the writing, and by the revoulsion I feel, I assume it totally achieved the story's intent.

The bad parts:

...I'm not really sure, but very predictable I guess. Though I find it makes the story even more horrifying.

In the end the story serves one purpose; it tests if my dick still have some compassion and human thought left in it... and thank god it does.

I kinda excepted the story to end with the aristocrats joke for some reason.

At first I was like

But then I was like

Well... I read it. I liked it, but I already knew I was a terrible person.

My only real criticism is to double check the paragraphs. You have odd instances of a seemingly misplaced carriage return throughout the story. Are these intended paragraphs? I don't know! Example paragraph:

"After spitting in the mother's mane, I set my sights on the real prize I craved. I announced that I desired to deflower the youngest daughter's pussy and ass.(Weird carriage return)

The mother, who had been enjoying the bliss from her orgasm was suddenly brought back to her harsh reality. She shielded me from the filly, saying that she would rather die before she let her daughter lose her virginity to the likes of me.(Weird carriage return)

The eldest daughter whined and said that I was breaking the arrangement.(Weird carriage return)

I spat in her face and said the deal had changed when her whore of a mother had the gall to cum before royalty. I told the mares to be grateful that I was still willing to release their father, provided the youngest was able to slack my carnal thirst."

My other complaint is minor and an insight into my depravity.

Why, if he was so cruel, did he simply poison them after hurting them so badly? No lesson was learned, and they were given a quick end after suffering terribly. It made the suffering... pointless? It felt like you were just done writing at that point. It makes sense, I probably wouldn't want to keep writing this. It felt like he should have kept them around for a while longer, at least one of them. Perhaps forced them to kill each other off, telling them that only one would survive. The only surviving one would have to kill the rest through some terribly slow torture.

Or maybe forced Rarity into some sort of prostitute for him, he keeps hinting at that. There are any number of sick twisted things he could have done, and he lets them go with poison? Wasn't he trying to make the father suffer anyways? The father never even realized what had happened to his family, the family knew not why they suffered. Blueblood ultimately accomplished nothing except getting a night of amusement and a head on a pike. Maybe that was his goal, but I thought this was about his pride and arrogance. The whole story kind of felt like it fell flat. It had a great buildup, and then just sort of... ended quickly.

I dunno. I liked it, but the ending didn't leave me feeling satisfied. And not in the way you might think. Then again, I'm supremely guilty of that myself, so... yeah. But anyways, you got one thumbs up from this weirdo.

hmmmmmm...... not the worst or the best ive read but I liked that someone has courage to put something like this on. Well done!

I'll watch this for the comments

how a show for KIDS converged into this? bronies are becoming monsters.

>>883856883856

Rule of the Internet # 34.2: If it exists, there are ponies of it. No exceptions.

When I wrote this clopfic, I was never under the impression that it would appeal to a wide audience.

As far as a definition of monsters go, a monster is anyone who would actually commit the depraved acts described in the story.

This clopfic itself is about as "monstrous" as a kinky sexual roleplay enjoyed by consenting adults.

In any case, thank you for the feedback.

I can only assume this story takes place before the events of the show or in an alternative world. Either way, my question is: WHY THE BUCK ISN'T CELESTIA OR LUNA DOING ANYTHING TO THIS MOTHERBUCKER!?!

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2dpjfU39k5fQR8_ZNtOGEA_IlIyZT3uEl2Z63KBqdxow8TWP_

why, why was this even posted?

i couldn't even finish the goddamned story

>>883856883856

Image: http://i.imgur.com/nshl1.jpg

No seriously, you must be new to the internet to be shocked at this. Things like this have been around for so, so, so long.

>bronies are becoming monsters

So...1 person = entire fandom. Gotcha.

>>882860882860

As far as the bizarre paragraph structure goes, I've never been a fan of the 'wall of text' fanfics and try to break up paragraphs into bite-sized chunks.

Thank you for all the constructive feedback! This fic was an experiment for me, in many ways. I wanted to write a grimdark clopfic that didn't use excessive gore.

I chose to write the story from Blueblood's perspective. One of the effects of this was never seeing Rarity or anyone else in her family mentioned by name. Blueblood didn't even bother to find out that most basic of personal information, because he viewed the family with such contempt. Having the story be in the first person was surprisingly restrictive, as I couldn't describe what anyone else but Blueblood was thinking.

A couple points you brought up:

Why didn't Blueblood slowly torture and then kill them? Because I didn't want gore to play a huge factor in their demise. The chosen means of death was planned from the beginning of the story. Also, it shows how little he cares for them. He disposed of the mother and daughters as he would a rat or another pest problem.

Why didn't Blueblood let the father know what was happening to his family? Because Blueblood wanted the females to acquiesce to his demands out of desperation. Having the father tied up and forced to watch would have changed the dynamic, but with the dad out of the picture, the wife and daughters would be more willing to subject themselves to the prince. Their compliance hinged on the promise of seeing their father again and saving him from an unjust fate.

(I suppose the use of a one-way mirror could have a loved one watch helplessly as his family is forced into an orgy...Maybe next time...)

Blueblood also could have gotten the father's attention when the curtains were opened; Maybe his wife fellating the royal member could've been the last thing the father saw as the axe fell, but I think the way it ended worked better.

No matter how horrifying an image is, it's never as bad as the fear of the unknown. The father died unaware of what became of his wife and daughters. As gruesome as their fate was, seeing them before he died would have removed some of the agonizing horror running through his mind in his final moments.

Lastly, as to why it didn't seem like Blueblood accomplished anything in the story, the answer is simple. In his mind, he didn't do anything of big importance. This was simply another day in the life of Prince Blueblood, designed to show how mundane this event was for him. The prince decimated an entire family with as much concern as the average person has when using a tissue. When he was finished with it, he crumpled it up and threw it away.

I hope this helped explain why the story went in the direction that it did. Thank you again for the feedback!

>>881703881703

You're starting to make me nervous...

Have I opened up the Pandora's box of clopfiction?,,,

>>881666881666

"...take one universally reviled thing, and put things from something completely unrelated in it." -lazy

It worked for Mel Brooks in "The Producers." I guess I should've included more musical numbers...

Look for "120 Days of Blueblood: The Musical" coming soon! JK

But seriously, thanks for the feedback.

>>884348884348

Good point. I should have added the Alternate Universe tag.

Update: Fixed!

>>884510884510

Your welcome

Great story. Had some weird stuff like rape and traumatic experiences, but into that stuff, should be good. I dont see why people hate it, this is a fetish clopfic, anyone who isnt into rape and pedophilia, will obviously reject this. Its all a matter of personal taste. SOME ponis might hate on this story regardless of their knowledge that this is for only a small amount of perople, but, well, fuck those people.

I also think this getting hate because blueblood is just an unlikeable character, and to that I say: 'REALY?' s stillm, great story. thump up.

>>884510884510 could you do me a favor and kill me with a blunt object like a wrench or actually even better a spoon :) thank you for putting me out of my misery.

>>881460881460'

what 'Movie?'This is afan fiction, you silly Billy!

>>884624884624

How about I beat you over the head with a Twilight Spork-le?

Heh, neat. Actually quite depressing.

Though the language of it was a huge disappointment to me. On one hand, Blueblood's all high, mighty and eloquent(the opening "proclamation" sets the bar for him rather high), and then, when they get down to business, his vocabulary descends to the level expected of some punk in the street. I don't expect threatening, purple headed warriors entering the ladies' open gates left and right, but when all you use is words along the line of  "cock", and on top of that they conclude complex, descriptive sentences, your story about depravity starts sounding like tales of Lieutenant Rzhevsky's exploits in the ballrooms of Petersburg(and that's a very, very bad thing).

A good thing was the characterisation of Blueblood, his callousness added greatly to the story's atmosphere.

I sort of wonder why you made it a one-shot. It has the potential for much, much more. Doesn't quite live up to its title and wastes some of the potential(exploring of personalities shifting in such circumstances, for instance). I understand the point about Blueblood not really caring, but it could be preserved with the whole act being drawn out. Though I must commend your integrity in pushing the humiliation right to the very end.

The effect it had on me comes mostly from the actions and thoughts of Blueblood. Rarity's family is left rather neglected in that respect(somewhat understandable since it's from Blueblood's perspective after all, but their feelings, which I think could add much, are lost to the reader).

Another note would be that I don't really think it's a clop. More like a concise summary of Blueblood fucking.

Really good overall, but all the asspain around it...nah.

Me: "stop it boner"

Boner: "N-"

*reads chapter title*

"Okay"

>>884740884740 OH GOD NOT TERRIBLE THE PUNS!!!

Image: http://lifethroughmy4eyes.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/zoidberg-why1.png

While using fancy words can certainly display one's vocabulary, they can make a story into a poor read. This story is a perfect example of this, besides the fact that you clearly wrote this just to troll the community. Don't write again, there's enough trolls in the world.

>>884424884424

i know there are other things like this.

its not just this, you silly. there are tons of fictions with monsters on it (not literally monsters, im talking about rapists and stuff.)

look, im not new, and ive seen many things like this. Many. and that worries me. you know, theres a fiction where ALL the ponies are depraved and evil dudes, even the fillies. In that same fiction:

Sweetie , RainbowDash , Celestia, Big Macintosh, Thunderlane, Lyra were addicted on alcohol and other drugs.

All the female characters where whores, even fillies.

Applejack used to beat Applebloom all the days.

Spanking and raping occured all the time in ponyville.

etc etc etc. imagine that the life of ponyville in that fiction was like the Bronx. you park your car, go shopping for 5 minutes then you come back and find that they stole your tires, broke the windows, murdered somepony in the back seat and meanwhile a bitch is being raped in the front seat. while they murder somepony in the back seat.

so, its not just you.im worried that Hasbro gets in this site, reads 5 or 6 things like Cupcackes, 120 days of Blueblood, etc etc and do somenthing stupid like

"We are cancelling the show due to the excess of related mature content internet" because "kids looking for the show on the internet can find those nasty things" or "blah blah blah"

you know, im not asking for you or the fandom to stop, i myself sometimes read clopfics, but i just think its funny how a show for kids can end into this.

did you know that the brony fandom is in the list of the top 10 fandoms with more mature content?

also, ive never read the rules of internet. could you link me to it please?

>>885596885596

2 fanfictions =/= entire fanfiction library. Hope you know that. Stereotyping is bad, mmkay.

And...wait...wait huh?

You actually, truly fear that...Hasbro will find some fanfictions and CANCEL THE SHOW? Just...what...what? You say you're not new to the internet, yet you scream "new to the internet" with all this naivety you're spewing. Whining about things like this, claiming Hasbro will cancel the show because of fanfiction...like, really? You're either very new, or I'm being trolled right now. (And as a side note, multiple people that work on the show have +Liked FIMFiction on Facebook.)

Hasbro doesn't give two shits about fanfiction. No company does. And no, "kids looking for show can find nasty things" is NOT a reason to cancel a show, it's a reason to tell parents to watch what their kids do online. Not Hasbro's problem. And they wouldn't even be able to find these anyways, because they're marked as Mature, and you'd have to have Mature enabled.

Also, got a source for this "brony fandom top 10 fandom with most mature content" ? I'd like to see it.

>>885596885596

Pokemon has much more porn made of it than MLP, and Nintendo has never considered stopping that gravy train. Though to be fair, Pokemon's been around for nearly 15 years.

I will concede that Hasbro is more scared of bad press than Nintendo; they did censor Derpy's eyes after all. In spite of this, I think that what cloppers are doing behind the scenes doesn't taint the image of MLP nearly as much as what the Michael Bay films did for the Transformers franchise. If humping dogs and racist robots are greenlit for a two hour long toy commercial, how concerned is Hasbro with the welfare of the children?

It is worth noting that at the rate this fandom generates mature content, MLP will more than likely surpass Pokemon, in terms of porn, before the year 2025...if man is still alive. (2025 being MLP:FIM's 15 year anniversary, to draw a parallel with Pokemon.)

There's already a fanmade X-rated Friendship is Magic series in the works.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUGf13W2dNg&feature=channel&list=UL

While not comprehensive, here's the rules for the Internet page.

http://rulesoftheinternet.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

Thanks for the feedback!

Anyways! Just read this, and...eh, not shocking enough, for the most part. But that's just me; I'm pretty much desensitized to shock, after all that I've seen.

Might be because I'm used to writing in such a style, but it seemed to lack description at times. Everything seemed like it went by really fast.

All in all, a decent dark/gore fic. +Disgustingness points for including WS/Scat and killing my boner.

Didn't realize it was your story Brony. Well let me dive into this sucker.

Oh. My. God. I am shocked. I am really just shocked. This fic. This... story... is... just okay. I mean, it didn't stand out. Blueblood being a dick, that's nice right? Whoopty Fucking Do. I'm not mad Brony... I'm just disappointed. Usually your fics go for shit getting realer and realer. But now, this type of story is old. Do something new. Something *gasp* not clop.

>>886015886015

This was just a one shot for a concept that was too dark for any of my current series. I appreciate you following my writings. I'll have more updates on my other stories before long.

Edit: No longer a one shot. LOL.

>>886105886105

I appreciate the response. Good writer sir. Good writer.

Dont listen to haters.

I love 120 days of Sodom. I think its one of the most under-rated movies of all time. So to see a pony version of it is kinda weird, but i thought it got the

movie very well.

WRITE MOAR

Obviously you guys can't read stories for "matures". If you're going to complain about how disgusting and innapropriate it is, then go ahead and uncheck the mature box at the top of the page.

Eh, I've read worse.

Ok so I know people will hate me for this but I think that this was very well written albeit the theme was disturbing (which you Warned us about ) and the actual writing was disturbing (also warned about ) so well done... Still hate you for and

But again well done.

So, where are the other three perverts who wish to exploit their positions of power to probe the depths of licentiousness? Where are the depraved whores whose tales drive them on to discover and embrace new fetishes, morality be damned?

It was an OK grimdark clop story on its own merits. I'm not sure why Blueblood decided to kill his victims with poisoned wine, or even why it had to be Blueblood doing the filly despoiling, since the story made a point of avoiding references to the Grand Galloping Gala or Rarity's history with him. The events of the story were transgressive, but the links on the pony side were missing -- presumably explaining the AU tag -- and the literary reference did not work at all, bearing little similarity to de Sade's cruel parody of Rousseau.

TL:dr, I wish this were both smarter and more depraved.

>>885643885643>>885764885764

well, yep, i think i can be overreacting. im just thraumatized because when i was a kid, there was a comic magazine (you americans probably dont know it) called Gibi. it was super famous, so famous that now Gibi means comics here in brazil. the fandom had millions of peoples. but then they cancelled it because the fandom was getting too creative. Well, i can only guess in your country things are more liberal.

about that top 10, the source is a brazilian Roleplaying Game magazine called DragonSlayer. allow me to quote a piece of it:

1.Animes and Mangas fandom

reason: it does not contain that much of porn, but the amount of gore is impressive.

2.Dragon Age fandom

3.Pokemon fandom

(then theres bla bla bla. skipping to the interessting part)

9. Brony fandom

it says in the magazine: "its not apparent, but in the brony fandom there is a considerable amount of gore and sex. each day,  circa 20.000 words of mature-rated stories are written by fans of the show." etc.

thanks for the links.

may Celestia have mercy on our soul.

>>888901888901

I'd like to know where that random Brazilian magazine is getting its statistics from. Dragon Age has more porn than Pokemon? Yeah, I'm calling bullshit. And how would they know how many words are written per day?

>>888918888918

listen here, o All-Knowing Master, im not that magazine , i dont care where they found that, i dont care if thats correct, ok? why dont you ask them? stop spamming me with your skeptical third-world questions. they probably know that circa 6 clopfics are written per day, and most of them contains 4000 words.

>>889445889445

If you don't care if it's correct or not, why are you posting it then? And I don't think conversation counts as spam.

>>889457889457 because you fucking asked. i could be reading good stuff, but instead of that i have to keep repying to 4-eyed cinic dude, because if i just ignore, some idiot is gonna start screaming bullshit like: "hihihihi look at that snow thunder thing, hes losting the argue so he stops writing, hihihihih, look at me, im gay, hihihihihi" or other random shit like that, you know?

Well, that ignited into rage very quickly.

My penis is now in a permanent semi-flaccid state.

i clopped tothis again!

...why would you post this...?

Sorry the writing itself is awful. Within the first few paragraphs there are several mistakes.

And even putting those aside it's mediocre

oh and if Rarity did whore herself out to pay for the supplies for this business, her father would probably know due to his involvement with said business. Ultimately he acquiesced this.

And since this is the case he wouldnt refuse the Prince's initial offer.

So the story kind of falls apart there.

Something I think you could fix about the fic is an explanation of the nature of this universe (Im assuming it takes place in an alternate universe).

I noticed that it says "my aunts control..." so that would mean Princess Luna is Princess Luna and not Nightmare Moon.

Did she never become NMM? Or was she vanquished by the elements? If so then Rarity is a national hero and being herself would not comply with Blueblood's demands when she could speak with Celestia and Luna (who are indebted to her for her part in saving Equestria twice), raise political clout among the Canterlot Elites or go back to Ponyville and leave her mother and sister there and return with her friends (one of whom is Celestia's pupil, most powerful unicorn in the world, whose brother is the Captain of the Royal Guard and sister-in0law is a princess).

Of you didn't hate blue blood before this,

you will after this,

Ow soo much.

This story is rated 18+ for allusions to necrophilia and graphic descriptions of rape, forced incest, torture and pedofoalila.

I'm sorry but that part right there would probably repel a lot of people.

Yeah, what Neiro said. Not really sure how Blueblood managed to brainwash the entire kingdom somehow.

Another decent chapter. Reading this and semi-enjoying it makes my brain go "WTF", but my boner go "me gusta". Always did have a little thing for rape/torture. Onward to the next pony!

>>896515896515

Thanks for the feedback! Rarity seemed like a natural first choice when dealing with Blueblood. Once it was over, though, I wondered what he would do when confronted with other members of the mane six.

As for the setting, I was going for a Canterlot that was set in a atmosphere similar to France right before the French Revolution. The commoners had yet to unite against their ruthless oppressors.

Having burned a heretic, Blueblood's next challenge will be to rid the kingdom of a gypsy witch.

"How do you know she is a witch?"

"She Looks like one!"

What the chainsaw-juggling Christ did I just fucking read? No. Just... Dang it, Bobbeh.

Still not as bad as the school area in DS2. And fuck Blueblood with a power drill, then cut off his hooves, slice open his stomach and take a shit in it before sewing it back up and forcing him the chew on rocks.

And all was right with the world.

You are one sadistic son of a bitch....

Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtJZj6yXs1_pLVRmSzJ86LxY8Q6iNNb5GelyCMzPbESvlwJjvHvPzRYlANaA

OH GOD THERE'S MORE

You have delivered me another beutiful orgasm with this second chapter, plaese, keep up the good work and continue this masterpeice.

>>906712906712

Since you seem to be the target audience for these types of stories, I must ask you a question.

Are there any subjects that turn you off? This second chapter had more gore in it, but generally speaking, extended descriptions of wanton violence doesn't do it for me. This story will not reach Cupcake-levels of gore, for example. Blueblood isn't going to remove anypony's internal organs while they're still alive, or anything.

But what specifically in the first two chapters either enticed or repulsed you? I've worked out the basic ideas for future chapters with the rest of the mane six, but are there any ideas you would like to see implemented? I'm very interested in your feedback.

>>906767906767 Well, for me the only thing I don't like is how there isn't enough mental/emotional abuse, other than that overall its pretty good, The only things I didn't like were how in the first chapter The father wasn't involved in the main event, He couldv'e been, say, forced to watch, or partake in it, Alsointhe second one Ithink you couldv'e added Spike and Twilight's parents,but otherwise I thik it's perfect the way is. BTW I really like the whole 17th century France theme.

this was hilarious. that is all.

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

>>911000911000 if you don't lioke it then go away, no one is forcing you to read this you filthy dirt pony.

I have no idea why I keep coming back and adding more comments to this thing. I've already established that I hate it. But then, there's a certain...something about this story. Oh that's right - Blueblood's comeuppance. That needs to happen. I will force myself to read all the way to the ending of this....thing.... if it means that Blueblood learns the meaning of Karma in it. I believe that's the only real way to salvage this story. If it happens to be Celestia or Luna giving the punishment, then all the sweeter.  Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure that this is going to hit critical mass soon. 1,500 views in three days, more than my story! That's really the only thing left to comment on.

>>914549914549 why would he be punished for doing the right thing, after all, the ponies he tourturedwere mares, it's not like women have souls or anyhing.

>>914854914854

While this series may be one of the most twisted and depraved things on this site, there are still lines you don't cross.

I will not love and tolerate any sexism in this comments section!

Apologize at once, my dear brony!

BTW: Blueblood will be punished in the end. The real trick is, can I make him suffer enough, without resorting to drastic levels of gore?

>>915082915082 1) I refuse to appologize for my beliefs. Mares, as well as Pegusi and Dirt ponies are vastkly inferior to the pure unicorn race.

2) If you need ways of tourtureing stallions without gore try this

1) Hook testies up to car batteries

2) use those anal pears in the twilight chapter.

3)force him to listen to justin beiber for 36 strait hours.

Good evening Mister Bronystories what have you made for us here?

Fascinating.

It appears you're making a definite effort to disturb and disgust and as far as I can see you're succeeding.

This fact earns you a thumbs up.

How could I do this?

Well the fact that I'd rather run a wad of sand-paper through my special place than attempt to masturbate to this shit aside I think its pretty well written.... For something of this nature that is.

I can actually see someone such as Blueblood doing these things in that position of power. Mainly 'cause it most likely happened in the past.

Mainly however its because I got a reaction from it.

In other words it made me feel.

Something ponies are annoyingly good at.

Frankly this disgusts me.

I spent the entire time fantasizing Bluebloods horrid demise.

My favorite so far is slow removal of the phallus via a timed clamp and cheesewire shrinking in diameter around the member by something like 4 millimetres a minute. No anesthetjc of course.

Then of course some form of buggery seeing as he appears to dislike colt-cuddlers, something along the lines of that there anal pear thingamajig.

Then the removal of the testes by first removing the scrotum with carefully applied caustic liquids. Drop. By. Drop.

Of course he'd pass out so wait for him to wake up every time he does and make sure he doesn't die.

Once the scrotum is completely removed mix salt and vinegar then lather the exposed testes in the solution.

Once this is done spend a few hours sanding down the organs and applying more vinegar and salt on the wounds.

If at any point his cursing and screams become tiresome pluck out all his teeth with burning iron tongs, melt his tongue with caustic powder and stitch his mouth shut with steel wool and a red hot needle (wear gloves).

Feel free to rub a lemon half on the stitching.

Once the testes and associated organs are nothing but pink paste move on to his limbs.

Get a boning knife and get filleting with those stompers but be sure to hook him up to plenty of ivs and transfusion thingies to keep him alive. And have lots of adrenaline handy.

Once all the meat's off of his royall legs grab a hammer and chisel and carve the name of all of his victims into the bone.

If you run out of room don't worry there'll be more.

Pull the bones from the sockets and set them aside. Cauterise the stumps.

At any point go ahead a rip his mane and tail out. Be careful with the tail, you don't want to damage the spine.

Now its time to go full on CUPCAKES. If you have any sense you've already removed his horn. If not, do it now. Just don't damage the brain.

At your own liesure open the ribcage and remove all nonessential organs. I.E. Everything other than the heart and lungs. Feel free to get punny.

Once this is done pump him full of everything it takes to keep him alive.

If there are any victims whose names you couldn't fit on his legs skin his skull and chisel them there.

If you run out of room.... Then well fuck.

Finally after a long day sprinkle his chest cavity with salt then feed him to his own dogs.

Remember to give the dogs everything that you removed.

Sleep soundly knowing you done good.

That is all.

Have a pleasant evening dear author.

Oh as a side note I read the other comments and....

Whats that movie?

Also despite being disgusted I did enjoy reading this if only because its been such a long time since I've had that emotional response towards a piece of literature....

...

....

......

Also maybe because I was partially aroused by some bits and I like conflicting emotions...

Inner turmoil is a wonderful form of release.

>>920787920787

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad that the story is registering with you on an emotional level.

As for the movie, check out the 120 Days of Sodom film review by Brad Jones

http://thecinemasnob.com/2009/08/16/salo-or-the-120-days-of-sodom.aspx

The movie is a modernized version of the 1785 novel, written by Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade. If you want to talk about influential authors, the words 'sadism' and 'sadist' are references to de Sade.

After reading your proposed torture for Blueblood, remind me to never get on your bad side.

>>920787920787 How DARE YOU PLAN to tourture a pure blooded unicorn such as blue blood! You infeior earth ponies have no right exsisting in equestria and even less a right to plan such horrendouse acts to your betters! Now, please GTFO and leave thew master race in peace!

>>921397921397

Neat!

I'll have a squizz at that, gotta be hell of a person to have that named after you.....

Still.... I take it since its 120 days in Sodom its based off of what went on in the long dead city of the Sodomites?

...

Also... Um... I have no idea how I came up with that... I didn't think I had it in me... I guess... I guess Blueblood just brings out the worst in ponies...

Excuse me while I sit in the corner...

>>922028922028

Oh boy here we go.

Hearths Warming 101:

Earth Ponies are essential for the provision of food.

Pegasi provide weather control that make the Earth Ponies' lives easier.

Unicorns control the sun and- Oh wait... No they don't!

The Alicorns control the sun and the moon!

Earth Ponies= Essential to survival.

Pegasi= Beneficial to survival.

Unicorns= Obsolete via Alicorn.

You may place your shapely and obsolete lips upon my essential dirt pony posterier and kiss it repeatedly.

I'm just saying that someone better be getting relised from there stone prison,and some pony better be getting stuck in a little devise named "The Changeling's Womb". A form of torcher in which said price over a coarse of 3 weeks has his sol magically ripped apart. (like Hellraiser).      

>>922984922984

Main carachter of MLP A UNICORN!

Growing food isn't unique to dirt ponies, anyone can do it and magic can do it more efficently

Weather can be controlled with magic

Unicorns origonally controlled the sun and moon, and then your Whore queen celestia barges in, takes it over and start spread her pompus bullshit about peace, equallity, and love.

now go roll in some mud like the living filth you are dirt pony and leave the master race alone.

>>924846924846

Image: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/085/6/b/heil_celestia__by_thesassyjessy-d4u2h8d.png

[Picture related]

Also, is it worth pointing out that in this story the two unicorn were the first to die?

>>924846924846

Actually unicorn magic can't grow plants.

Unicorns can control the weather but only pegasi can manufacture it.

Main character is a unicorn mare (I recall you lumping in all mares with us hornless pony folk) whose friends are non-unicorns bar one (two if Shining counts among her other friends).

All unicorn males who have had any lengthy duration on screen have shown themselves to be air-headed, pompous, inferior and decidedly annoying.

However Flim & Flam get points for being sexy.

And Fancypants gets a bit of a bumper cause I only half watched Sweet & Elite.

Also stuff Celestia.

I vote Discord.

Once again I am impressed and with good reason... I again congratulate you on you very very very very very veeeerrry descriptive writing skills and also pinkamena siding with blueblood would be interesting until of course she betrays him and does what questionable object suggested... Good job...

>>925318925318 Yes, magic can't grow plants but Unicorns can do them the old fashion way. And seeing as to how ALL docters and scientists are UNICORNS we would probably find a way somehow (Like with the technology you and the rest of your living trash race are holding back.) As for the weather, again,either magic or science. And if all else fails, I suppose the master race could enslave you all, rape your mares and force you to do all the meanial labor we are too good for. Also Unicorn mares are considered citezens. Just the ones of the lesser races are used as sex slaves, maids and cooks. As for pegusi... scince they are better than dirt ponies they wouldn't be eradecated, just treated as second class citezens. If you want to continue this argument go to the Unicorn Supremecy Movement's group on fimfiction, my comrades would LOVE to put you swine in your place.

>>924885924885 Technecly, it's not related, we veiw Alicorns as muddled disgrace (They have earth pony, pegusi, and unicorn blood) and that makes them a disgrace to our pure, unicorn race.

>>930719930719

I have never seen any unicorn other than maybe Twilight ever do hard menial work.

I highly doubt that any unicorn could ever get down and dirty and be as any good as an earth pony at farm work.

As for technology.... Flim and Flam were bein' kinda pushy on the matter. Coulda shown a bit of tact with the Cider machine... Like not threatening someone's business.

All doctors? Redheart ring any bells? I'm pretty sure she's a earth pony.

As intelligent as conquering the "lesser" races and getting them to do all the work or just killing them may be I'd like to point out several obstacles in that plan. Most prominent obstacle: You're a minority group in the smallest tribe and the only reason the other tribes didn't wipe you out back in the days of the windigoes was 'cause you made the sun and moon go 'round.

Closely following that is the fact you have a pair of living goddesses sitting on the throne. Last I checked Alicorns don't like being overthrown.

Then there's the factor of some non-ponies inferring that if you lot hate other ponies then it'd only be a matter of time before you began to pick on them and would give us "lesser" ponies a hand. That or see the inner turmoil as an opportunity to attack.

Then the least obvious but possibly the most dangerous.

Remember Discord? Big Draconaquus with mismatched limbs? Feeds off chaos and disharmony?

Yeah I think a pony v pony war would be an all you can eat buffet for him. Especially if any of the Elements of Harmony were killed... Or damaged. We all know they're a pretty fragile bunch in the head.

And then there's the Windigoes. Dunno if they were killed or banished but if they were just sent off with a smack on the wrist they'd be back in a heartbeat if a holocaust went up.

Now there's a whole group of you? Goodie, I'm enjoying this! I'll go give the USM a little visit ay?

Also I hardly see Twilight fitting into your picture of the supreme unicorns seeing as she's kind of a race traitor and is Celestia's #1 student.

>>934180934180 Yes, Flim and Flam were being pushy, TO AN EARTH PONY! The Apple family deserves to have their farm taken away and givin to the pure, master race. As for Hearth's warming eve? That is the version that Celestia told and after a few milennia the truth mixed with legend(Much like christianity) and now everyone believes it for they are too stupid to think for themselves. As for the nusre, SHE IS A NURES! NOT A REAL DOCTER. A nurse is just a fancy way of saying the docter's bitch. It's good to see the lesser masses finally finding their place like her. BEING THE MASTER RACES BITCH! and finally Twiligt is a pure blooded unicorn and even if she refuses at first, ever hear of stockholm syndrom? if we capture her and rape/tourture her fpr a few years she would eventually see the light.

YOU SAID IT WAS COMPLETE!!! THEN YOU WRITE MORE!!!

i cant read more of this blasphemy, but i cant control my brain (and other parts too).

so, i MUST READ!

>>920682920682

well done, mister.

>>937065937065

*Curtsies in a gore stained chef's uniform*

Why thank you.

I um.... I can't..... What?! I want to say I loved it? I do, I really do. But I cringed a LOT. Nice ending.... well it wasn't very nice but um.... I am at a loss of words. I... Ok well not really sure how to comprehend this....

>>918534918534

You need to quit being a sexist asshole!

>>942176942176 And you as a pegusis need to submit to the Master Unicorn race and accept your place as a sex slave/laboror.