Apparition

The appearance of an otherworldly visitor disturbs the peace of a far away forest.

A/N: Former prologue to my yet to be published story.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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GloomyFace

GloomyFace #1 · Sep 7th, 2012 · · ·

Hello guys and gals!

If you read the whole thing, you must be slightly confused as to why it is labeled 'complete'. Well, let me explain then!
The "Apparition" was originally a prologue to my other story, but after getting some feedback I decided that it didn't fit to be a prologue at all. Firstly, it's too long - 7k words for a prologue? Are you kidding me? Secondly, the story was tagged with Twilight Sparkle and Celestia as its main characters, and as you may have noticed, they do not appear in "Apparition" at all. Nevertheless, I don't like to think that I have written 7k words for nothing, so I'm posting it here anyway - maybe some of you will like it?

~~The story that I mentioned will be posted in the next month.~~ I have already written a detailed draft for every scene for several initial chapters, but I will be simply too busy to write them in September. This time, the first chapter won't be all about OCs. And no, what I'm doing doesn't fall into "posting each chapter as a separate story" as the story I plan to post will be shown from totally different angle.

I'm not a native English speaker (Polish, woohoo) and the "Apparition" was my first attempt to write something longer than 500 words in English. Therefore I will immensely enjoy any form of feedback regarding my "writing style"!

TheArchive

TheArchive #2 · Sep 8th, 2012 · · ·

1234881

Just did a quick look over, and there doesn't seem to be any serious issues. The only thing I can bring up (which is not really an issue at all, to be honest) is that the entire chapter being justified might throw off the readers since it doesn't read as well as something that is left-aligned. I'm not really sure how to explain it better, so look at this page that goes into more detail:

Justify or Left-Aligned

Here's some of what it says:

About Fully-Justified Text
•Often considered more formal, less friendly than left-aligned text.
About Left-Aligned Text
•Often considered more informal, friendlier than justified text.

Also, I was thrown off when you suddenly mentioned being Polish. With how nice your writing is, I wouldn't have known you weren't English. I wish I could write that well in another language.

GloomyFace

GloomyFace #3 · Sep 8th, 2012 · · ·

1237833
Thanks for the reply!

About the justification: I don't think it is possible on this site to have a story with left-aligned text (unless you don't write any text at all and just link the images with left aligned text in your chapter - I've seen someone do that ). Every story that I have read on fimfiction.net has the text fully justified. Also I don't see any option that could change it in the chapter options. The GDoc version of "Apparition" was left aligned, though!

Also, I was thrown off when you suddenly mentioned being Polish. With how nice your writing is, I wouldn't have known you weren't English. I wish I could write that well in another language.

It's the power of Google translator! Although, I mainly use it to quickly find synonyms.