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  • 107w, 5d
    Reviews: Round One

    As we all know, is a huge repository of stories. So huge, in fact, that at over 60k stories, it is a true hurdle and almost impossible to really find the good stories that get lost in the long queues, and trash, that gets posted along with them.

    In an effort to correct this, Seattle_Lite proposed the creation of a group of reviewers that would endeavor to fish these ‘lost treasures’ out of the archives and give an honest opinion about them, with the purpose of sharing them with all and giving them a fair chance. These reviewers were found to be as objective and professional as we could find. Individuals with the honest mission of searching for stories without our direction or influence. We call them: Seattle's Angels.

    The stories themselves all have their home within, have NOT been on the Featured Box for at least the last 3 months, and have never been showcased in EqD.

    The reason for this goes back to the ‘fair chance,’ since not all good stories make it there. A certain amount of quality-check is required, of course—all reviewers have to agree that each story deserves to be showcased in this manner, and will entertain you with their brief impressions on why each story deserves this spotlight.

    Our only involvement, as staff members of, besides putting the team together, is to post the reviews on the front page. The reviewers have the first and last word on the fics chosen, and we trust their judgement and objectivity to show through and encourage people to give the stories a chance.



    Episode 4: A New Review

    With Fimfiction in a state of disarray brought upon it by the rising of the Nofictoread Empire, it is left up to Seattle’s Angels to fight and bring forth the Hidden Gems that have eluded us all, in the hope that these inspiring stories can bring forth a new age of quality reads for the good of the

    STORY 1

    Pip, by Invictus


    Pipsqueak gasped for breath, short legs pumping furiously. The massive, steam-powered machine was nearly through the turn, and he needed to be on it before it sped up again.

    There are a litany of cutie mark acquisition stories out there, but few discuss something that is arguably just as important to ponies: their names. Lucky for you though, Pip[ does just that. Disillusioned and determined, Pip boards the Friendship Express to escape his meaningless existence—or being called names... whatever. When he hops into an empty car however, he finds something he wasn’t exactly looking for.

    Pip is a delightful, heartwarming, and occasionally humorous little story. It may be on the short side of the spectrum, but what it lacks in length it makes up for in pure heart. It’s a bit like your grandmother’s chicken noodle soup. Sure, it’s probably not the greatest soup you’ll ever eat, and you’re pretty sure there’s at least one piece of uncooked chicken in there, but you know eating it that it was made with love. It tastes good going down, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and it’ll probably help you get over a cold.

    It’ll only take you half an hour to read, at most, so you’re really missing out if you skip over this. Give Pip a chance, you might be surprised at what you find.


    Pip stows away on the Friendship Express to escape the constant teasing he faces at home and runs into Equestria’s two most well-known salesponies. What could go wrong?

    This story maintains a fun, light-hearted tone while still addressing the serious and relevant topics of bullying and self-worth, and I thought this was a great way to approach the subject. The dialogue is entertaining and fast-paced, as one would expect from the world-famous Flim Flam brothers, while still moving the story along.

    Short and sweet, much like the protagonist himself, Pip is an entertaining story with fun twists and a good lesson at the end without being overbearing or heavy-handed. Kind of like the show itself, right?


    Pip is cotton candy: unsubstantial, but sweet. Here, you have a story that clocks in at about two thousand words. It comes in, does its thing, and gets out of the way.

    The story isn’t much more than a single dialogue exchange, and the spot-on character voices are what you’ll remember about it. However, what I like best about Pip is how it maintains fidelity to the show's tone and characters without being overly dependent on the show for its plot. What happens in Pip is something new—not a rehash of ideas hinted at in canon, but a real expansion of Equestria. That is the kind of story from which new fanon is created, and that is what Pip is.

    If you enjoy cute, show-style stories and snappy dialogue, I think you'll get a kick out of Pip.

    STORY 2

    Chronomistress: Out of Time, by D. G. D. Davidson


    Chrysalis bent her face close to his and blew gently against the hairs in his ear. He trembled.

    “Now dream,” she whispered.

    What’s that you say? You’ve seen a hundred fics about Chrysalis and changelings? Well, that may be true, but I doubt you’ve seen one that stars Time Turner and isn’t a Doctor Who crossover. It’s just your luck then that Chronomistress: Out of Time is here to deliver on that obscure need. When Time Turner discovers a dark secret about Ponyville, he and Minuette (Colgate) must work together to stop Chrysalis while dealing with existential questions about the validity of their reality.

    With such a heavy-handed message to deliver, Chronomistress can sometimes get bogged down with details and its ending leaves something to be desired. However, like a road trip with your best friends, it’s more about the journey than it is the destination. And in that regard, Chronomistress delivers in spades. With gripping scenes and captivating imagery, D.G.D. Davidson has managed to craft a thought-provoking and interesting story that left me wanting more.

    With a possible follow-up on the way, Chronomistress: Out of Time is well worth your, well, time.


    Chronomasters, changelings, and clumsiness—an odd combination, but one that works extraordinarily well.

    That’s what stands out to me—how incredibly well these elements come together to form an engaging, exciting story that left me wanting more. The characters are particularly well-developed in such a short amount of time, making them both believable and endearing in their own quirky ways. D.G.D. Davidson uses the situation to create doubt that drove me to read on, and though this is longer than most one-shots I’ve read, I could hardly believe it when I suddenly came to the admittedly abrupt end.

    Overall, a great story with great characters in a thrilling situation. All I can say is, I hope there’s a part two.


    Chronomistress is gold. Davidson's strong world-building skills are on full display here as he unveils and describes a hidden side of Equestria while maintaining an unsettling consistency with the canon. Lush descriptions surprise and enthrall the reader, and no line is a chore to read. Meanwhile, the storyline has more twists than a soap opera and as much suspense as a primetime television drama. And all that is to say nothing of the writing itself: the prose is some of the best I've seen this fandom produce. Davidson writes with professional aspirations, and it shows.

    If you like action, if you like fantasy, if you like suspense—hell, if you like ponies—I suspect you'll find something to like about Chronomistress. It's not one of the best stories I've ever read, but of the stories I've read that aren't the best stories I've ever read, it's one of the best.

    STORY 3

    Never a Rainbow, by NorsePony


    Fluttershy bent to pick up the bag of apples in her teeth, but hesitated. She looked past Applejack’s shoulder. “Maybe I’ll come and buy more apples tomorrow.”

    Never a Rainbow is an interesting look at what might’ve happened, had Rainbow never performed the Sonic Rainboom. It may not be the first story to ever do this, and certainly won’t be the last. However, what makes it stand out, to me, is its ability to weave such a compelling and captivating story in such a short amount of time.

    More than just making it stand out though, Never a Rainbow’s length is what makes it so enjoyable.


    Think “My Little Pony” meets “It’s a Wonderful Life” as told by two of the latter’s side characters, and you have “Never a Rainbow.”

    Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom was instrumental in bringing the Elements of Harmony together. So what if the Rainboom never happened? What if the intrepid speedster never existed? This story examines what the lives of two of our heroines would be like if not for the rainbow explosion that changed their fates. How will their destinies change without the Element of Loyalty? You might just be surprised at what stays the same—and what is different.


    Never A Rainbow, like Pip, is a two-thousand word short told almost entirely over the space of a single conversation; unlike Pip, it is tragic and thought-provoking, at times startlingly so.

    It's difficult to say much about Never A Rainbow without spoiling some of its most rewarding surprises... but, we're trying it. The story concept strikes me as one that, while it may have been done before, is worth doing more than once. The conversation in the main scene flows with remarkable facility, and watching the play of the characters' words and thoughts is enjoyable. The story's main attraction, though, is the gradual unveiling of the actual events it describes. These events, both those made explicit in the text and those left to the reader's inference, are depressingly probable given the story's premise, and I feel I would enjoy reading a much longer story or two set in its version of Equestria. The feeling that persists upon finishing Never A Rainbow is one of having been shown a terrifying image—a single morbid, still-photograph from a much larger slideshow of suffering.

    To anyone who enjoys thinking about the nature of Equestria, what-if questions, questions of identity, or alternate universes, I'd recommend this story as being well worth its reading time.

    *** Please note: The reviews are done by a group of individuals whose only relation to fimfiction is that they have proven themselves to be dedicated and honest members of the community and are providing the reviews for the post—because that’s what this is about: the fimfiction community. None of the Fimfiction Staff members are endorsing or promoting the particular authors, reviewers, or the stories reviewed; we are just providing a means for others to find good stories they might have missed.

    DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT PM the reviewers asking them to review your story. There are lots of them, so have faith in them and in your story, they'll get there. As well, please do not request to join the Angels. They are super exclusive, and will hunt down more members if the ranks need bolstering.

    ~WD & Seattle_lite

    30 comments · 283 views
  • 123w, 6d

    208 comments · 1,348 views
  • ...

Sweetie Belle has been living with Rarity since their parents went off to see the world, but some years have passed, and it may be time for a change.


Credit to title pic goes to dlazerous of deviantart

First Published
9th Jul 2012
Last Modified
16th Oct 2012
#1 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

wait what about divergence

#2 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Well, this was definitely slice-of-life and I must say I enjoy these types of stories. Just a little look-see in the window before you stroll past, usually delightful. Thankfully, you deliver in that regard.

Spelling and grammar were top notch, whether due to editors or your own skill, I'm not sure. Either way, I admire that you combed through it as well as you did. On a cursory inspection as I read, I didn't find anything that would pull me out of the story, so a wonderful job there.

Due to the above, it was relatively easy to read. As I said, there was nothing to pull me out of the story, though I did feel you over-relied a bit much on the description. There is a -lot- of it, perhaps too much in certain spots, with commas interrupting the flow of the sentence, and in turn, the story. I would have personally spread them out a bit more into several sentences, but perhaps it is simply a stylistic choice. Do as you will, I suppose.

I found myself relatively entertained by the story, at least enough to keep reading through. I have to point out that the beginning, while somewhat relevant to the end of this piece, was almost enough to put me off. It's rather adult, with an awkwardness that might make some readers look away - which would be a shame based on the rest of the story, because I enjoyed the moments you had here. The real, romantic moments and the playfulness between the two main characters. Call me a sap, but I love the playful romance more than the actual physical aspect of it. Even so, I can nod that you did those more mature parts well for people who enjoy them.

Overall, I felt it was a simple, light piece with a soft edge of funny that hit right where it needed to at the end. A successful, solid story in my opinion, aside from the beginning for the reasons I listed above. You wrote well and I want to thank you for taking the time to do it. Writing is a talent and a pleasure so many people never get to enjoy; I'm sincerely happy that you created this.

#3 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Wow, this is actually pretty damn good. Better than the average fic that can't even get your and you're straight, anyways! XD Like Croseh said, your spelling and grammar were great, the story moves along at a good, slow pace to start off with, explaining everything needed for the fic to make sense, without it being totally boring. I look forward to moar!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

#4 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·



#5 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

I have to agree with Croswynd, the opening paragraph was a bit off-putting until I got further into the chapter, but otherwise, it's a good story thus far.

#6 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This is truly beautiful. Scootabelle, aged up. Some years behind them, no more awkward fillies flirting with feelings but mares ready to take on the world together, as one loving couple. And their relationship is so passionate yet playful with just enough seriousness to keep it secure. I eagerly await more.

#7 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Spelling and grammar are excellent and the pacing is great. :twilightsmile:

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to love this story. :rainbowkiss:

#8 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>880891 who is Scootabelle?

#9 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Oh, what a cute piece. I liked how you made the relationship work. I hope we get to see it develop, more or perhaps how it came about later. I love what you did with Rarity's perversion and promiscuity. Quite amusing. I can see that, Actually all the characters are believable. I can see Scoots behaving like that and Sweetie being awkward like that. As stated excellent technical writing and description, I think you did a good job here.

#10 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>880950 you just red my mind

#11 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Hey, Seattle!  So awesome to see you again!  I had no idea you were a prereader for EQD!  Congrats on that.

(If you don't remember, you proofread my story A Rose is a Rose.  Thanks for that!)

This is adorable, somehow.  I'm not sure if I would have done it in present tense, but that's hardly a big deal as long as you're consistent.

Keep it up, man!  Glad to be seeing you around still.

#12 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Term for a Scootaloo x Sweety Belle ship fic

#13 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

well you have my interest!

#14 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


yeah what's up with that?

why can't anyone tell the different between your and you're?

you are=you're

in other words referring to a person

your=referring to a person's possession.


#15 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

indentations irks me.

what irks me even more is indentation with line spacing, meaning the person using both doesn't understand the purpose of either. put off reading it...

#16 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Looks like I was beaten to the explanation.

#17 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Loving it. Grown-up Crusaders + shipping? Fantastic. Let's see more! :ajsmug:

#19 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This is relevant to my interests. Fav.:pinkiehappy:

#20 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

O_o this story has been faved

#21 · 123w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Good story. I'll have to keep and eye out on this one

#22 · 123w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


This is excellent.

I love it.

There are a few places that could have been streamlined a little to make the wordflow more natural, but other than that, everything seemed spot-on.


What are you even talking about? Their usage is appropriate; the editing as a whole is effective both aesthetically and practically.

#23 · 123w, 5d ago · · 1 · Chapter 1 ·

rely good and well rittern i was hoping for scooterloo to not be able to fly but i gess peoples thorts are mixed on that so wat ever you want to do is good

never done this befor but 5 mustashes out of 5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#24 · 123w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Go on.

#25 · 122w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

A very interesting chapter. I look forward to see how this continues.

#26 · 122w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


I'm trying bro. Have such a block going with it. It's infuriating. How goes Anywhere?


Again, thank you very much for your thoughtful and considered analysis. I'm very pleased you enjoyed it, and appreciate you pointing out the room for improvement.


Don't quote me on that.


SB, every time we cross paths you ask if I remember you. Heh, of course I do mate. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Everyone else, thank you for your comments and thoughts! This was my first shot at first person, so I appreciate your indulgence. Cheers!

#27 · 122w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


On hold while I work on a chapter of Blood. I've got so many fucking ideas for both projects, though.

#28 · 121w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This story is OK so far. I didn't really like masturbating part:twilightoops: because that not something I like read in a MLP story but oh well. I'm looking forward for your next chapter.

#29 · 121w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This story is amazing. This really is one of the best shipping fics I've read in awhile. Fav'd, liked, and watching. I can't wait for the next chapter! I never heard of Sweetaloo shipping before, I never really thought of it. Brilliant.

Is it bad that I was laughing as hard as Scootaloo when Sweetie Belle said that?

I'd rate it 10/10 :twilightsmile:

#30 · 121w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Very cute, and I love the casual flow of events as just the right amount of background detail is filled in. And I see it's incomplete? This should be a rather fun story to explore. Sweetie and Scoots have a nice dynamic going on, and I'm particularly liking how Sweetie's occasional pessimism in-show is translating to a full blown exasperation at the world that's never that far from her thoughts. I'm keeping my eye on this.

#31 · 121w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

You need to keep going with this, sir or madame, I've been waiting for the next chapter for a while now. :raritystarry:

#32 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

That was beautiful. I'd love to see more of this, if you feel like it. Thumbed and favorited, I'm excited for more.

#33 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Thanks for saying so mate, I really appreciate it. I'm also mildly freaked out right now. Like... right after you commented, I had a good 26 people favorite the story in a span of maybe 20 minutes. I have no idea what just happened.

#34 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Why, my dear boy, you've been featured ^.^

#36 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·



That previous comment was directed at you


Yeah. Featured. As in, the box in the corner that showcases good stories, like this one, for the readers. Color me green, I'm Jelly. I've been trying to get my own work in the feature box for... Months.

#37 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Well hell... This story WAS in the feature box... Right where Fallout Equestria: Starlight is... At least, that's how I got around to this story. It's gone now. That blows. I'm sorry, mate.

#38 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


I'm... yeah, I got that. But the 'wat' still stands. I don't see my story in the feature box. I see ten stories, and none of them are mine. Kiiiinda trippin' out atm, heh.

#39 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


See last, I'm sorry. It disappeared before you could see it. I swear, it was up there. That's how I got around to it.

Still, a fantastic work. Even if for that one glorious, brief moment, you had it. Congrats. I hope it gets back up there...

#40 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Madness! But overall, pretty cool. Guess I should let you know that may have been my fault. I accidentally hit the Publish button instead of Edit for Chapter 2, which I may add, is just awaiting review before being ready. So... I guess we'll see if it gets back up there? Either way, glad you enjoyed it mate, cheers!

Wanderer D
#41 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Nice! I'll be keeping an eye on this one! :pinkiehappy:

#42 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Cheers D. Ficbox is tripping me out mate.

#43 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Huzzah! Cannot wait for chapter 2!:yay:

#44 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·


Gimme like, fifteen minutes, lol.

#46 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

>>1010098 the feature box is how I got here. This is the first time I've read this, and I love it. :pinkiesmile:

Oh, and its still there. Very last story in the box.

#47 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

8/10, would enjoy light CMC shipping and adult humor again.

#48 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Go on...

#49 · 120w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 2 ·

Annnd Chapter Two

#50 · 120w, 4d ago · 1 · · Chapter 2 ·

I think one of my favorite parts was Twilight accidentally blowing AJ up.

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