When you are born into royalty there are many enemies, some of which you know nothing about.
First fanfic EVER, leave comments
This is very good! I especially like that you showed in Equestria's history how alicorns age slowly. This is a neat idea and you show a lot of promise. My only pointer is her birthday wish seemed a bit sudden, she showed very little desire to be 'normal'. I guess her annoyance with Blueblood could be perceived as that, but to me it seemed more like any healthy filly's boredom at sitting and listening to someone blather on. But again, great story, can't wait to read more
First fanfic? I am stumbled on mine while you're having a ball. This story is very good to help me with mine. You sir, or ma'am, deserve a like, a comment, and a favorite. Keep righting more.
A stellar first fic! I really like how you characterize Celestia, omnipotent, majestic ruler and still the cool mom. Very fun to read. Keep writing, you're off to a good start!
Now for a couple bits of constructive criticism, just for you:
I'm not sure why night is capitalized, that made me a wee bit paranoid
It could use a skim from a proofreader, but that's perfectly fine, we could all use a little proofing.
This isn't really a critique, but the whole time I had this nagging thought in the back of my head; if Celestia is the mother, who in the hay in the dad?
Keep being cool
This sounds already Awesome! More please!
>>877947877947 If you will notice I also capitalized the words moon, day, and sun. Also you will have to wait until next chapter to hear about Fudge's dad.
Chapter two is now up! Oh and if any of you noticed I changed the tags and discription a little. I actually know where this story is going now .
So read and enjoy my faithful readers.