Celestia goes through a regular day as all her other days as the princess of the sun when Twilight comes to her and starts to curiously dig into her past as to why exactly the Elements of Harmony no longer work for Celestia. This brings back painful memories from the past and Twilight's questions may or may not be answered.
This is a one shot that started as a spur of the moment idea after thinking about a question:
that question is: "why Can't Celestia use the Elements of Harmony anymore?"
this is my theory.
thank you to anbolanos91 for being the artist who created the awesome picture to which i'm using.
and thank you to my editor Nobrains for making corrections and making the story better in my opinion (he didn't change any part of the story only made it stand out more) and for that i am greatly appreciative.
hope you guys enjoy!
First of all: First
Secondly, not bad I have to admit. Storyline flows well and I will be looking forward to the next chapter.
872365
sorry but this was specifically a one shot at a sudden spur of the moment idea. make no mistake i will make more stories following this universe in the near future.
glad you liked the story
Even better now that I'm leisurely reading it!
872670
awesome to hear it!
I like this story c:
872684
glad to hear it!
872698
lol sorry i forgot that was on monday
oh and i'll send you a list of the story's i got planned for the future so expect it soon! i will want your honest opinion as always and its 9 different stories 8 with plots so get ready!
872706
Okie dokie lokie!
I liked it!
872754
happy to hear that!
wowwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
873085
you like?
A little short, but well flowing, nice job, no discernable mistakes, and it gets the situation across, though more emotion could be portrayed and that would really MAKE this story. But as it is it's good.
Well done
Honora Imperator
873388
thanks for telling me. in truth i planned to make this far more longer but somehow i accidentally put all i wanted to in it in such a short ammount of words. i agree it could use more emotion portayed but i find myself satisfied with this. plus i feel if i add any more words to this i would have to make this into a full blown story instead of the one shot i originally intended this to be. i will remember what you said for the other story's in the future.
873096 eeyup :D
873388 I have to disagree sir, I found a few mistakes. None too large, but they detract greatly from the rest of the story. I suggest you go get a good editor, author, and while I may like this story, it has several grammar and spelling mistakes.
873486
well my fine sir i will go back through and check as well as talk to my editor about the missed mistakes. i can assure you the both of us will fix this.
edit: no mistakes noticeable that would take away from the story by what i see.
That was a good little story
Good flow and excelentley paced 
874471
thank you!
would anyone believe i wrote this in roughly five hours?
>>TheArcher20
i belive it!!! I wrote a cupcakes 2 story and it took 3 hours! i belive it!
876419
really?
873495 I believe you mean ma'am. I can edit it if you wish.
923177
well ma'am apologies for the gender mistake. but if you see errors then by all means post a comment pointing them out. as i said the only thing i could see would probably be a small amount of grammar mistakes. but if you see something then like i said feel free to post a comment that has the sentence in question in the comment.
it's an interesting answer to the question, but i really think there could have been more put into the story. also, NightMare Moon's entrance was very...abrupt.
))
I think that my only issue with your grammar and whatnot is that your grasp of the older forms of English (thees and thous and such) could use a bit of help ('Thy' is a second-person possessive pronoun, and there's one point where you seem to be trying to use it in place of 'My', which is first-person(or pony...eh, details
on the whole, not bad, just rough around the edges. my suggestion for whatever you write next is: don't rush yourself trying to get everything out in order, give your characters and story room to breathe, metaphorically.
929559
thank you for letting me know these things. i have little grasp of the old english so it made this a bit tough to write. her entrance was abrupt because i didn't take my time. i just went from the idea - plot - story - editor - post. and if i had taken my time it would of been maybe 300 words more maybe. thanks for the advice. i'll remember that for the next "The Past and the Present" story. If i have the time i may poke the story here and there to fix it up. but nothings for sure.
P.S: anyone else who just says its bad without actually pointing out some of the flaws as examples will most likely be ignored.
923344 Well, they don't really take away from the story per se, they're more like itty bitty things that nag at your brain that keep you re-reading the sentence, thinking "That doesn't sound right, why does that not sound right?!?!?" I'm currently editing it in Google Docs, I'll fix all errors that I can find. Most of it is just missing commas, running sentences together, and such. I can PM you the edited version if you want, or you can PM me your email and I can email it. (I think the second option would be best, as it is over 1,000 words.)
965682
well like i said you can just post a comment that pointed the mistakes out. i'm not too keen on comma's because when i do put them i put too many, as for run on's i'll have my editor look for those. you didn't have to completely rewrite the story. i hope this does not bother you too much as i didn't mean for you to completely try and go through and fix them yourself. since there probably is a few run on sentences i think they may even be there on purpose. i do not intend to have a viewer do my or my editors work.
may you have a nice day.
p.s. i appreciate your willingness to go to such lengths but dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png just let us run through it a few times now that you pointed out what exactly we should be looking for.
965718 Well, because of my nitpickiness, the list is... rather long... because I look at tiny details too much XD so do you want me to pick out the bigger ones only, or give you the full, nitpicky list? The whole list would probably go best through PM, people aren't too fond of long comments.
Most of these edits are probably nonexistent, I should warn you.
965812
i would say you may be worrying about this too much, i will as i said look back and take down the most obvious ones but i still have to continue the other stories i am working on. i have a few long chapters for both my stories to work with and i would have to say. it may just be you for the majority of the case. i would suggest shrugging off problems like that as i made those mistakes because. i am trying to be as polite and nice as possible on this matter.
so dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png
ps: this is only a fanfic site, i would say it is something worth nitpicking if it was going somewhere more important but i don't see much need in addressing this issue immediately or within the early future.
965907 Okay. Sorry bout that, I'm a little(<-- Understatement, HUUUUGE understatement)nitpicky. It really is a good story though, I didn't mean to make it seem like there's a mistake in every word. I really like it. It's probably better than what I could do on my own. Keep writing, you're pretty good at it.
i like this! The last few paragraphs were my favorite part. I feel that you ended it perfectly with the ". . . and I couldn't be happier."
1231043
glad you like it
If I wasn't even worse when I started writing stories of my own, then I would be complaining about the weird but mostly good grammar and horrible lack of proper punctuation. As it is though, this story just comes off as boring to me. A theory that probably has a lot of truth to it in canon, yet seems obvious to me (the part about the elements slowly going inert one by one is just a detail that has little to no consequence on the big picture, but more minor details like this would help the story). Celestia is described as crying, yet this is delivered in such a dry manner that I just felt annoyed when reading it, and Twilight is literally just used as a prop to further the story instead of being an actual character of consequence (other than being the catalyst for this situation when she asked the question(s)). It all flows together like a straight and thin river without life in it, if that makes any sense.
I wish I had more constructive criticism to give, as well as more specific pointers, but for all my experience in writing stories and reading both good and bad stories, I don't really have much formal education when it comes to English literature. Keep trying though, that was for the most part what I did when I wrote any fiction.