interesting concept. i like it. tracked...

and FIRST!!!!

You have my attention. Please continue.

Good idea, the grammar just needs to be better.

You had me by the intro. I was rolling my eyes at the cliché-ness of it until you put in that rather clever twist once we get to the action. That was very clever of you, taking the expectation of an amateur way to start a story and making it rather stylish.

But unfortunately, you lost me with everything else.

Simply put, there is too little purple prose here. With not many specifics to paint me a pretty picture of the story, I can't really sink my teeth into the scenes. I can understand what's going on, and therein lies the problem: the whole thing is similar to a skeleton missing the skin, in that it has form, there is understandable movement, but no covering to make it attractive.

A particular grievance to the description of Owlowiscious. A tip for you: try to describe things from a second person perspective, unless a third person perspective makes more sense or is more dramatic. A reader likes to feel like he's part of the story, seeing the world through the character's eyes, or through a particularly attractive filter. You just describing things like it was an exposition is... boring.

Kudos to the Twilight vs Simplicity joke. I found that rather clever, though I would have preferred it if somewhere along the way there was more of "Ha ha... yeah, that's the ticket!" to really hammer in the point that Twilight, for all her intelligence, can get REALLY fucking stupid some times.

Might I suggest this tactic? Show, not tell. Do not say it was a moonlit night; describe the pale glow of the room as the moon bathes it in its glory.

Huh......sure, why not, I'm down for some crazy today, and where's PeeWee? Why does everyone keep forgetting him? Was he hit by the blast as well? For half a second I was expecting Spikie to be turned into a pony and that would have made me leave, as it is....don't turn a dragon into a pony and keep the aimals true to who they are.

For example: Angel is a rude, selfish bastard that for some reason may love or hate his owner, Fluttershy....keep him as such.

This is going to be good

Give me more.

No peewee? :( I would love for him to be a pony. I mean a fire pony it just spells coolness.   Still a nice story.

Nice

Hmm... I think it would have been funnier if Owlowiscious's first words were 'Hoo'

Anyway how will she turn all the other pets into ponies?

>>12178561217856

But of course.

>>12182071218207 Brohoof!

>>12189861218986 Cool, then unto the story!

Yes. All of my yes.

>>12189981218998 /)

Please don't forget Tank.

Owlicious - Owl - Pegasus

Pee Wee - Pheonix - Pegasus

Opalecence - Cat - Earth Pony

Gummy - Alligator - Earth Pony

Winona - Dog - Earth Pony

Angel - Bunny - Earth Pony

Tank - Tortise - Earth Pony

this cannot possibly go FURBAR.

...

(do it anyway)

Fav before even reading. You are a genius! A very original and interesting idea!

i want to see Gummy the sage and angel bunny

Just a little advice: try making your chapters a little bit longer.

Other than that, I like it! Nice interesting premise, good action. Good Job!

Ooooh boy...

Love it so far

THEN APPLEJACK CHOKES ON THE MUD!

She subsequently dies and Twilight realizes it's her fault, Winona also knows this.

Shit happens.

>>12501441250144 It would be the epitome of awesome if Gummy was a genius.

Query: Is this gonna turn ALL the animals into ponies, or just the pets?

'Cause that'd be some weird precision for a random accident.

PeeWee! Seriously, everyone seems to forget must because..... Well, because the writers did, too

i'm definitely looking at this later. Intriguing.

watched

"Unknown to the two, the storm outside was also getting worse, lightning bolts striking closer and closer to the tree house.

Owlowiscious stepped

"Okay." Twilight grunted. "Just one blast and the entire storm is gone.""

The grammar needs a bit of adjusting, but great story. :D

I demand Gummy-pony next chapter!

So far, so awesome.

Okay, this is a bit random, but does anyone else think that pony-Opal and Blueblood deserve each other? ya know, one pain in the flank (metaphorical) deserving another pain in the flank (literal)?

Y THERE NO TANK!?!?

>>12505081250508

THERE WILL BE

EDIT: SORRY ABOUT THOSE GRAMMAR PROBLEMS, ALWAYS MISS A FEW.

i loved that u added peewee i hope that u add peewee into the picture but why an alicorn but nevertheless i LOVED THE STORY i cant wait for more so glad u got it into the feature box u deserve it

PeeWee is a damn alicorn.  You magnificent bastard you.

>>12502771250277 ... Meh, easy. Elements of Harmony being connected, blah blah blah. You know, the usual crap. XD

(Also, Alicorn Peewee? WIN!)

>>12502771250277

good story, have a moustache

what the, (statters). the what, turtle, monkey, duh!

THAT IMAGE! it really throws me off guard! turning into, De-

DERP!

Great story to be poasted on my birthday, yes September 9th is my birthday! I wish would break the fourth wall and throw me a party, inviting   

dtlux1

PS: Rainbow = best pony!

Twilight = 2nd best pony!

Applejack = 3rd best pony!

Happy birthday to whoever may have the same Birthbay as me and good night!

This is going to be good

This is certainly going to get weird for the rest of the town.

Nicely done.

>>12506921250692

Thanks, I just figured that the pheonix is the alicorn of the animal world.

curious... wheres tank?

Of course someone will have to find Applejack lovingly curled up around a unknown mare. Possibly scarring applebloom.

Me: PeeWee! You were not only remembered but also alicornified! You've gone far, kid. By the by, great chapter! You have impeded my scheduled sleep for school. I say damn you, and thank you as well.

Damn, if I could draw, I would draw an Alicorn foal PeeWee.

>>12502111250211 I love that idea, and PEEWEE!!!!!! Thank you so much for adding him, made my entire night, this is going to be so awesome damn...that sucks for AJ.>>12508611250861 Happy birthday.

Hmm, the way Twilight acts after seeing Owilicious (jeez, it's worse than spelling Hanukah) seems a little OOC. Why would she automatically jump to assuming he's dangerous? Or hiding in the book fort? The latter one just seems silly and not in the good way.

Other than that I'm liking what I'm seeing so far.

>>12187351218735 How would "hoo" be any different from "who?" Honestly, "who" does make a lot more sense now that he's a pony and in my opinion is in much better taste, but either way, all the characters in the story hear is "hoo."

I imagine Owloysius having a classy Cambridge accent.

How do I sum Twilight's choice of action for a scheduled storm?

with emoticons:

with a picture:

Image: http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo310/advice_dog/double_facehoof.jpg

and with a video:

All in all I love the idea and I'm liking the story so far, so I'll follow it.

So does this mean the every animal within range was turned pony? If so, I hope to God Fluttershy's cottage wasn't in range... or do I?

When Twi got hit by lightning:

"Hrgaflrghfrg!"

Phonetically that's "Herga-Flerg-Ha-Ferg." Always read these like that, it makes it funnier.

Keep going, I like where this story is going.

Also I can't wait to see how Tank, Wiona, Opal, Gummy, and Angel react to becoming a pony.

Excellent work!

Looking forward to more.

PeeWee as an alicorn, I like it!

This is very entertaining so far, great job.

YAY Prince/foal PeeWee!

Awesome idea!

The moment I started reading this my face went:

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png

Twilight screwed up a spell, what are you gonna do?

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

The possibility of Angel the rabbit becoming a bunny...

excellent.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png

Mmmmmoar.

A thousand volts? Lightning is something like a hundred million volts!

More people should watch Mythbusters...

I'm so horribly sorry! I acidently hit publish while trying to save!

hmmm.

known

owlowiscious = pegasus

peewee = alicorn ()

predictions

winona = earth pony(easy prediction)

Opal = unicorn(because snobby)

tank = earth pony (or maybe pegasus so can actually fly with rainbow)

gummy = super genious earth pony (or just usual spaced out self as earth pony)

Angel bunny = pony type unsure, but will more than likely either be a jerk or just have the mouth of a sailor.

Keep up the good work

>>12620371262037

By per chance, you haven't read (or been inspired by) "Transdimensional Zoology", have you ? Either way, this idea is genius, and you just earned a fave + thumbs up from me.

*clap*

I LOVE THIS! WANT MOAR!

Interesting.. just a little question none of them is a unicorn? maybe Opalescence could be (this by watching the picture, now going to read the story)

If peewee  is a baby alicorn, then obviously philamena will be a adult alicorn too.

>>12542341254234 That first emote how and the second too we need answer please

I like this one

Man I love to see where this ends up and you remembered PeeWee keep up the good work,

Aww damn, I was planning on writing a story like this, but ya beat me to it. XD Ah well... *reads*

...*just read it* ....MOAR @_@

Also, when PeeWee said "Spikey!" I nearly slipped into a diabetic coma. ;w;

>>12626171262617

You jelly of my rad emotes bro?

I won't troll you any further than that statement.

Link.

Click this link to have it take you to a page.

Once you get there DON'T hit the giant Download button. Not yet. You should see another link on the page that reads in blue lettering: Tampermomkey

Click that and download the software to your computer. It allows you to change the scripting codes of websites giving them new features. After downloading and installing 'Tampermomkey' go back to the original page my link sent you to. This is the part where you hit the giant download button. The rest from that point can be figured out with minimal effort.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

Shakarom Shakarom>>12515081251508

Well well well Nexas. You certainly got my attention with this fanfic

And thus begins my attempts to make Peewee as adorable as humanely possible

Will try to make chapters faster and longer.

~Nexas

>>12829031282903  Don't you mean as adorable as ponyly possible?

Marshmallows~!

that line was so adorable I think something broke.

hdjgajfksudofk. brain.exe has stopped functioning. Run backup of program?

Wait... Fluttershy has many pets. This is gonna get interesting.

"To be honest Tank, I was waiting for this to happen."

It's always funny (and maybe kinda sad) when your friends can predict how badly you'll react to something going wrong so easily and accurately.

Peewee is the best pony. Love the person gallery to him/her.

I can hazard a guess that Winona will be all talkative and possibly easily distracted, Opal will be all snooty and unresponsive, Tank will be a slow, yet wise speaker, Angel will be all grumpy, yet very protective of Fluttershy, and Gummy will just simply be Gummy?

Ha, HA! Got to love Peewee, and I realy haste how Spike is left out of everything fun or worth looking in to, it get gets very annoying, plus how old would Peewee be in this story anway? HA! Owl is funny as buck in this and very, very wise....wonder what that would make Gummy? Onto the next one and poor Tank.

I wonder how Angel will talk...Maybe a Boston accent? Like Scout?

>>12831521283152

Maybe.

That Owlowiscious-pony in the picture is going to haunt my nightmares.

>>12831871283187

That's actually kinda how I picture him.

>>12832091283209

Haha, and he bucks ponies who piss him off, yelling "BONK!"

...actually, I could picture him saying a lot of Scout's quotes.

I actually pictured Owlowiscious wearing reading glasses with tan colored frames that made his eyes look big. The reading glasses would replace the tan ring of feathers that surround his eyes when he is an owl.

I bet celestial already knows. just ask philomina

What if the magical spell blasted all throughout equestria? It would be kinda awquard for a mantacore pony and all of futtershy's pets as ponies. And i can imagin Trixie turning into a toad from this, it sould sooooo sute her attitude. Also MOAR.

love it... MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>12831521283152 gummy will be alicorn. For he is God. And his word is law. Or else he will have pinkie use her...........pinkie-ness.

Waaaaaaaiiiiittttt. What's going to happen to TOM?!

>>12834511283451 Tom is a rock not a pet

Man I would hate to be Spike when Twilight gets back.

"Those were so much quieter when I was a bird."

Huh? Owls have absurdly sensitive hearing, shouldn't it have seemed louder?

I highly approve of any measure taken to make Peewee as adorable as he can be!

Still Peewee shouting "marshmallows!" and then Twi and Owlicious hearing Rarity screaming at the of her lungs ...

*double checks tags* ... Thank Celestia for the lack of a dark tag.

Oh god MOAR. @w@ MoremoremoremoreMORE. *spazzes* X3

>>12829031282903

like that would take any effort

And why do i have the sudden image of Gummy turning into steven hawking?

>>12829681282968 Back-up not found. Terminate brain.exe Y/N? Yes. Brain.exe successfully terminated. Start Windows Safe Mode?