More than a thousand years ago Luna was not a princess. She was a wandering warrior, strong and proud. And she had good cause to be, for who in all the world could ever defeat her? But when a drunken bet causes her to venture into Tartarus, she will learn that even the most powerful can be brought low.
Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest.
Edited by the wonderful Jordanis. All mistakes (including any errors in the Elizabethan dialect) are my own.
Cover art borrowed from the talented Earthsong9405.
Chapters (1)
You forgot to add 'a soft spot for the origins of the Nightmare' it seems!
Nicely most done, yes.
8016890 Yes, that too! Though it's not quite as much of a repeated theme in my work as the vampires are... It's not as bad with my pony stuff, but my original fiction keeps coming up vampires everywhere.
Prophetic, Arawn was. Certainly not in that he saw the future, but if you measure his words against the subject....
Never is a long time indeed, and even the impossible may come to pass, if only it can wait long enough.
8016990 When Jordanis and I, brainstorming, came up with that final line was when I decided that yep, I was actually going to write this. I feel it makes the self-indulgent rest of it worthwhile even to people other than me.
A thrilling journey for Luna and the reader both. The story flows wonderfully, from the scenic opening to the delightful absurdity of Luna literally skipping through Hell while singing Greensleeves to the quiet horror of seeing her enthralled, which in turn makes the ending all the more satisfying and haunting. The incidental worldbuilding was icing on the cake. Great work here.
My only complaints are how this doesn't connect all that well with what we know about Tartarus. No Cerberus, no easy access for a unicorn returning him to his post, no apparent escape route for wizened centaurs... You set an incredible scene, but one that I can't quite credit as the Tartarus of the show.
Still, that's a minor complaint at worst. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the contest.
8018014 Thanks!
I sort of mentally pictured Luna and Celestia taking it over not long after this and, well... renovating it, I guess?
Now where have I heard this before?
8018685 How does the saying go? Good artists borrow, great artists steal? Something like that! But I do believe it's been said that Jannah exists in some form in every world, so why not this one?
8018699 You totally stole it. :P
8018709 Well, I did ask for permission first.
8018713 You're not a real thief! You're a poser.
8018729 I am no thief, I am a betrayer! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
8018806 That's totally a poser.
Great read. A nicely done take on the origins of Nightmare Moon.
You get a
8026176 Ooo, another mustache for my collection. Thanks!
Nothing to worry about, vis-a-vis the Elizabethan language. I'm a stickler for that stuff! :D And this was good!
8087404 Huzzah!
Have a
for this great story.
8368724
Thanks!
8368732
No prob. Usually, I'm the only one up at this time of night. I wasn't expecting a response, but this a plesant surprise anyhow. I suppose that if I don't want any response, I should wait till 3 or 4 AM.
8368740
Time zones, man. It's not terribly late where I am.
8368773
I keep forgetting about those darn time zones. When you sit by yourself with no-one to talk to you, you stop remembering that you are actually speaking to real people in different places.
Great story! I have a soft spot for stories of Luna as a warrior/adventurer and her travels and such.
10344036
Thank you!
cooool, very good story, I had a weird feeling when I read it, it's like mystery, blood, and flirt combined. It reminds me of my obsession with vampires when I first learned about them.
Great reading experience!
Was Arawn prophetic or the source of corruption? Either way a good story with a nice characterisation of Luna :)