Before anyone gets a chance to comment, I'm just going to take my chance as author to put my two bits in about this story.

I'm not very happy with this. I think I did a lot of things right: accuracy of characterization was decent (although not so much for Pinkie Pie), my writing is descriptive enough (if not a little too descriptive), and I'm pretty sure that there are very few areas where a reader might get dislodged from the story, except one. Of course, having no pre-readers, I can't be sure, but I'm analyzing myself as best I can.

The ending to this story is horrible. I actually didn't realize there was anything wrong with it until my friend (a non-brony, actually) offered to read it and told me that the ending went far too fast. I realized what he was saying immediately and got mad at myself for it. I would have changed it, but I had absolutely no ideas about what I could do to better the ending, to possibly fix some errors--heck, I couldn't even push myself to revise the section. I tried, but it didn't work out well.

Apart from that one (albeit relatively major) flaw, though, the story is decent. I probably overdid the vocabulary a little in a few parts, but I think that the areas where the prose feels purple (or, in other terms, too vocabulary-laden) are relatively minor and don't detract from the story too much. I also think that Pinkie Pie's portrayal was slightly off, which I've already said, but it was somewhat necessary for the context of the story.

But that's my opinion. Comments, criticism, feedback and appreciation (whether for the story or for myself; it doesn't matter to me) are and always will be appreciated. I hope that I didn't waste your time with this story. After all, the goal of a writer is to write something that the reader will genuinely enjoy, one way or another.