Comments ( 37 )
You are crazy, the ponys are crazy, heck everyone on this site except for me is crazy! Im the only sane one here! dutbac bloo va
Wow... poor bon-bon. But wouldn't she have records or documents with a house/apartment with the people that lived there?
lyra if you take the blue pill,you'll wake up in your bed believing what you want. if you take the red pill I'll show how far the rabbit hole goes......
I entered five different things here none fit. Good job you stumped me for a clever comment.
HUMANS.
Never look beyond the veil of reality. You won't like what you find, and you can never unlearn it.
I was looking for a feel better story because my sister was diagnosed with Juvenille Myoclonic Epilepsy and this was perfect![]()
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YAY INSANITY!!!!
Nice little nutty story. Although a few times you mislabeled BonBon with Lyra, like when she was going up the stairs. Assuming Lyra isn't just a figment of BonBon's imagination to begin with..
Well Lyra to be fair to the Staff they can't exactly hire a crack team of anthropologists and biologists to figure out how such society would work.
You did it again! I should hate you for being so freaking awesome! But I love your stories.
Any idea on when you're continuing the crown?
“We received an urgent telegram for you. I was given explicit instructions to make sure it got in your hands, and not to read it myself.”
What's surprising is that bellhop pony didn't seem surprised to be asked to put a letter in Bon Bon's hands...
Great story!
Oh dear god people/ponies! Stop messing with the fourth wall, Its there for a reason! Do you people/ponies have any idea what your doing to the fabric of the universe?! Everythings going insane!
I was given explicit instructions to make sure it got in your hands
She always wanted to ask someone
not only is everyone
1. ...
2. Somepony.
3. Everypony.
But... where is the real Lyra?!
bookplayer sent me here. I saw that the tag was comedy, which I was slightly surprised to find.
This... this is awesome. Teacups. Such a simple item that would go unnoticed by the eyes of so many. But Lyra knows. Oh yes, Lyra knows. Of course Lyra knows. I mean, teacups!
Nice work, you deserve a medal.
The ending suggest that Lyra never existed to begin with, and Bon-Bon made her up and sent that letter to herself. ![]()
You don't know how goofy my smile was while I was reading this! Gotta love Lyra ![]()
I love it when Lyra is portrayed as realizing the existence of the fourth wall by sheer deduction alone. She's not innately blessed with extradimensional senses like Pinkie Pie, she just puzzles it out through observation. Way cool. ^_^
The first thing I noticed about this story was that it had zero dislikes and eighty-seven likes despite having only six hundred readers.
I thought to myself 'no way it's that good' and read it thinking to prove just that.
You may notice that you still have zero dislikes, but your likes and favorites have both gone up by one.
Well-played, my good author.
"got in your hands"
"The bellhop said" Dialogue tag is using a speaking verb; "the" should not be capitalized.
"...how was it." I know that this is supposed to be asked in a matter-of-factly way, but that doesn't excuse not using a question mark.
“Do who? ...do who what?”
"but was confident that crazy ponies didn’t think they were crazy" I can see what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work here.
" This led me to think about: writing." That's not supposed to be a colon. Not sure what it should be, but definitely not a colon. This happens again at "“Or how about a park bench.”" And again at "Neither did I, until: I passed a teacup in the square."
"Well some Ponies need their items carried..." I can understand that you didn't use a comma after "well", because this is spoken dialogue, but "ponies" shouldn't be capitalized. "Children’s" shouldn't be capitalized either.
"till." To till means to prepare soil for farming. You meant to use "'til."
"I sit on the bench that way because it seems like they are designed to be sat in that way" To be sat ON in that way.
"...but she had enough." You meant to use "had had enough".
"...only to find Bon Bon in a house, alone, yelling about how she wasn't crazy, her roommate upstairs was." I'd suggest sticking a "but" between that comma, and "her."
The wall gets weaker every day.
Soon, Lyra will find a way to hop dimensions into our world.
And I will be waiting to give her a hug.







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