There's a Skeleton in Twilight's Closet

by Frost Bear

Well, Get it Out!

Spike had just finished Twilight’s laundry.

Sure, ponies don’t wear cloths often and the majority (all) of the dresses Rarity made for Twilight just hung in her closet. It was still nice to clean them every few months to keep the dust and grime off them.

It was just a normal Tuesday.

Spike folded the dresses, put them in a basket, and carried them to Twilight’s closest. It wasn’t that big. Despite Rarity insisting Twilight use a rather large hall-like room for her cloths, Twilight still used a small space in her bedroom. Just enough space for storage. A quick pick and grab spot for when the occasion occurs.

Spike set the basket aside and opened the door. All was as normal as expected.

Until a boney limb shut the door.

This left a rather confused Spike staring at the closet. He opened the door again and watched the limb close it once more. So Spike repeated his action over and over again, expecting a different result. After a frustrating 39 door slams, the skull of a thestral with a glowing blue wisp for an eye popped out with an angry look.

For those who do not know; Thestrals, also known as Bat Ponies, are similar to Pegasus with the exception being leathery wings, fangs, and draconic eyes. They are also considered one of the most annoying species to ever plague a farm due to their habit of eating crops without permission.

This thestral, in particular, is dead. Making him an ex-thestral.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you the definition of insanity?” the skull yelled.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Spike replied with a scowl, “This is the fifth time this week you decided to be in Twilight’s closet.”

“It’s rather comfortable,” the skull stated.

“You do know there’s a lock on it, right?”

The skull slowly crept back into the closet and closed the door. A small click was heard. Spike facepalmed, realizing he helped a rather bothersome irritation become an ever greater irritation.

“Spike, what are you doing?” Twilight asked as she entered the room, “Oh, is it laundry day? Thanks for doing that Spike. Did you need help opening the door?”

Twilight reached for the door.

“He locked it,” Spike grumbled.

“Who locked it?”

Spike sighed, “Frost Bear”

Twilight’s eyes flared with rage as she began pounding on the closet door.

“Frost Bear! Unlock this door right now!”

“No, thank you,” Frost Bear politely refused.

“Why do you have to sit in MY closet specifically?” Twilight growled, “Why can’t you sit in Rainbow’s or Rarity’s closest?”

“Have you seen their closest?” Frost Bear asked.

“I’ve seen Rarity’s closet,” Spike inquired, “She has a locked room in her closet only she has the key to. Don’t know why she doesn’t want anyone in there.”

“That’s where she keeps her leather and lace cloths,” Frost Bear chuckled like a pervert.

“How would you know?” Twilight wondered, “Rarity’s the only one with the key. How would you have gotten in there?”

“…Skeleton key?”

“You picked the lock,” Twilight accused.

“It’s not lock picking unless you get caught!” Frost Bear proclaimed.

“You just admitted to the crime!”

“That sounds like something you’d be into, Frost, so why don’t you want to be in Rarity’s closet?” Spike questioned.

“Her cloths are pointy. All her dresses, stockings, and garments have gemstones sewn in them. It’s like sleeping on rocks.”

“Fine, than what about Rainbow’s closet?” Twilight growled.

“Cloud house.”

“Aren’t you a pegasus?” Spike asked.

“First of all, I’m a thestral. I have fangs. Second, I’m dead. Dead things can’t really stand on clouds without help. Even pegasus bones fall through without a spell.”

“Fluttershy?”

“DOGS! Bloody hounds wanting to bury me in the back yard!” Frost Bear cried.

“That explains why he doesn’t go for Applejack’s closet,” Twilight sighed, “That just leaves Pinkie Pie…”

“You don’t want to know.”

After thinking about that statement Twilight and Spike agreed.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Starlight came around the corner.

“Frost Bear won’t come out of the closet,” Spike commented.

“I thought he was open about his sexuality?”

“LITERAL closet,” Twilight corrected.

Starlight pondered, “Did you try asking about other closets?”

Spike and Twilight nodded.

Starlight thought for a long while, “Don’t know what to say. It’s not like there are other skeletons wondering around Equestria we can get answers from.”

“Maybe this is just something he likes to do,” Spike rubbed his head.

“I’m getting help,” Twilight mumbled as she walked away.

A few minutes later in the afternoon.

“Alright Bone Head, your time is up!” Applejack threatened.

“Who you calling Bone Head?” Frost Bear whined.

Applejack kicked the door, splintering the wood and snapping the door in two.

“Get him, Winona!”

Applejack’s pet dog leaped into the closet with glee. It took a short second for the skeleton to evacuate the area. Winona chased the fleeing pile of bones who was bawling his non-existent eyes out. Twilight sighed with relief.

“Thanks, Applejack, he’s been a real nuisance.”

“Can we keep Winona for a while when he comes back?” Spike begged.

“No can do,” Applejack firmly said, “I got to make sure he stays away from my farm. Darn dead thestral picks my apples and leaves muck everywhere!”

“We can probably get a dog from Fluttershy. She’s been trying to get those chiwhatdas adopted. They might be good to have around.” Spike suggested.

Later that night

Frost Bear sneaked into Twilight’s castle. With everyone asleep and no dogs around, it was the perfect time to get into her closet again.

As he made his way to her room, a faint growl was heard behind him.

Frost Bear slowly turned around with dread. Ice ran through him in a foreboding fear. He met the creature he was momentarily terrified of and had to look down at the tiny thing.

“Ah, it’s just an oversized rat,” Frost Bear laughed.

The Chihuahua darted forward and snatched Frost Bear’s leg. Frost Bear fell over with a loud thud. He quickly picked himself up.

“Hey! Give that back!” Frost Bear shouted as he chased after the chihuahua.

Spike and Twilight came out of their room with tired eyes.

“It’s 4 in the morning! Why won’t that tiny dog stop barking?!” Twilight cried.

Comments

[RMWarPony]

silly undead fun

[Cinder Vel]

Well that was very simple story.

“I thought he was open about his sexuality?”

And I found this quote most fun.

[Mikeljaden]

Hilarus

[mastermenthe]

excellent everything!

[PonyDragon]

Good story!
And so many hilarious jokes.
I lost it at the Skeleton Key.
Have a like!

One small thing.

due to their habit of eating produce without permission.

Maybe you should reword that. Maybe "crops"?

[Frost Bear]

7981012 I looked it up before editing and apparently produce is used for manufacture term. I thought it meant a food item since I've only heard the word used to describe items in a grocery store. Learn something new everyday.