Diary Of A Demon

Day One: I'm drifting away

Day Two: I miss my sissy.

Day Three: I'm alone, and scared.

Chapters (2)

Day One - Day Eight · 20th Feb 2017 · 1,370 words
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Day 9 - Day 15 · 21st Feb 2017 · 1,371 words
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Comments ( 6 )

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BellChime

BellChime #1 · Feb 20th, 2017 · · · Day One - Day Eight ·

I don't understand.

Pastel Candy Candies

Pastel Candy Candies #2 · Feb 20th, 2017 · · · Day One - Day Eight ·

7963450 She's died and she's going to heaven but she's not an angel Note: Read that only if your ok with minor spoilers.

RB_

RB_ #3 · Feb 20th, 2017 · · · Day One - Day Eight ·

Huh. Well, this is a neat lil' thing.

One thing I would like to bring up is your character voice.
The story's being written by an eight year old, right? (Unless you're being clever, in which case you can ignore me.) So you've gotta make it sound like it's being written by an eight year old.
Something like this:

I don't know how much longer I can take it, it feels like it wants to rip me apart and drive me to the brink of insanity.

doesn't really sound like it's written by an eight year old, does it? Same goes for things like 'I don't know your gender'. Consider swapping it out for something more juvenile sounding, like 'I don't know if you're a boy or a girl'.

NicLove