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Dennis the Menace
3
18
89
3
18
89
Joined December 2011
1,846 followers
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45w, 1dThe Fillyfoolers.
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39w, 3dOctavia Fans
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25w, 6dEquestria Daily Rejects
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45w, 4dVinyl Scratch
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45w, 1dF/F ships
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45w, 2dEquestrian Vampirism
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44w, 1dTransformations
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45w, 1dOctaScratch
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34w, 2ddark soul
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23w, 6dVinyl Scratch/Octavia
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41w, 5dbronys united
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44w, 4dfimfiction's favorites
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41w, 3dRead later
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40w, 2dcheck on
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37w, 5dAlternate Perspectives
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29w, 5dFimFiction Gold Archives
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25w, 2dVinyl and Octavia
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21w, 4dCompleted Story Compendium
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17w, 3dTHE DJ PON-3 REVOLUTION
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3d, 7hMeri's Favorite Stories
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"You got any jacks?"
We sat opposite of each other, our eyes shifty and narrowed as we looked at the cards we had been dealt. This was it. The moment of truth. When all would be revealed. Life or death. This would change everything. I smiled coyly as I glanced down at my cards and then back at her.
"Go fish."
"FFF—"
She jumped up from her cushion and flipping the table in a fit of rage, sending our cards and drinks flying.
"Vinyl, why would you do that?!" I screeched. "What a mess!"
She snorted. "Because it's hilarious!"
"You won't be laughing when it's your turn to clean the bathroom," I snapped.
She wilted. "Aw."
Knock knock. Who's there?
"Huh, I wonder who could that be?" Vinyl trotted over to the door, pulling it open with her magic, and was promptly tackled and sent flying clear across the room with a great crash.
"Vinyl!" I shrieked, by her side in an instant. "Vinyl? Vinyl, speak to me!"
My attentions were drawn away from Vinyl and the gray pegasus on the carpet to the loud chatter by the door. There was a sharp gasp as Vinyl sat back up, resuscitated.
"Derpy Hooves!"
The gray, wall-eyed pegasus with a blonde mane squealed as they hugged each other tight.
"Octy, I'd like ya to meet my friends from Ponyville! Lyra Heartstrings!"
Mint green, with a mane that looked and smelled of spearmint, eyes of gold.
"And her marefriend—"
"Vinyl!" Lyra flushed.
"—Bon Bon," Vinyl teased.
A mane like cotton candy, a voice sweet and sugary.
"Carrot Top!"
"Hello!"
A disastrous mane the size of a disco ball and somehow even worse than Vinyl's.
"And finally, Derpy Hooves!" The pegasus waved, sticking out her tongue in jest.
No comment.
I chuckled nervously. "And what do I owe the pleasure of having you four wonderful mares today?"
"You don't mind, do ya Octy?"
"Of course not! Come right in—well, you're all already inside, so uh, make yourselves...comfortable..."
Lyra grinned. "Ooh, Vinyl, she has an accent!"
"You talk funny!" Derpy noted.
"Derpy! Don't be rude!" Carrot Top chided.
"So are we gonna play or what?" Bon Bon butted in.
"Play? Play what?" I asked.
Apparently they all loved to gamble.
"With real bits?" I sighed. "Isn't that irresponsible?"
"And now you know where my paycheck goes!" Vinyl joked.
I tossed a few bits into the pot, trying to keep a straight face as I took another peek at my cards, biting my lip.
Jackpot, sweet Celestia, if I won...
"Show 'em."
"Ace high."
"Pair of queens."
"Three kings!" I laid my cards down with a satisfied smile, trying to hide my grin as Lyra and Bon Bon swore.
"Royal flush!" Derpy cheered.
Our jaws dropped.
"What?!"
"Yay! More muffins for me!"
"FFF—"
And for the second time that day, a table was flipped.
Day turned to night, the sun dipping into the horizon. Luna's moon, a full moon, high in the sky, a sea of twinkling stars blanketing the world as ponies all over Equestria took to their beds, drifting off into peaceful slumber. When darkness fell Canterlot became something else.
I had left my door ajar, so as to mask the squeak of the doorknob or the creaking of the hinges as I slipped into the hallway, holding my breath.
Careful now, Octavia. Watch that loose floorboard.
My eyes flicked back and forth shiftily. I craned my head, sidling up against the wall adjacent to Vinyl's bedroom door, my ears twitching as I listened.
That feeling in my chest, what was it? The fluttering of my heart as I heard the unicorn toss and turn? Right, I needed oxygen.
I gasped, sucking in air, and slowly pressed on her door with my hoof, using my other hoof to manipulate the knob. With a squeak and a graceful trip, I tumbled in, surprised, rolling head over hooves into Vinyl's domain with a painful thump. Moonlight poured into the room, casting eerie shadows all over the place. I stood up slowly, eyeing the sleeping mare on her bed, taking a step forward. As my hoof connected with the carpet, it was met with the hair-raising sound of a potato chip being crushed underhoof. I pulled back, disgusted, before pressing on, cringing.
I was finally at the foot of her bed. I crawled, peeking up above her mattress. She slept on her back, her head facing away from me. Vinyl continued to snore loudly. She turned her head, and I saw that she did wear her purple shades in her sleep.
It was time to find out what she really looked like.
I lifted myself onto the bed, the mattress shifting with the new weight. She snorted and smacked her lips. I swallowed, my hooves above her face as I grasped her lenses, lifting them off the bridge of her nose to find...
...that she also wore a sleep mask.
I resisted the urge to groan.
Vinyl turned again, this time facing me. She snored, breathing through her muzzle. At least she brushed her teeth. Her hooves wandered, searching around until they found me. I squeaked, freezing. She pulled me into an embrace, murmuring to herself.
"Mmm, Octy," she cooed deliriously, still sleeping.
Is she dreaming about me? Should I be flattered? Or worried?
I rasped and struggled for air as her hooves tightened their vice around my neck. Can't...breathe! She nuzzled me, combing her hoof through my hair. I blushed furiously, my face heating up. I squirmed as she continued to press against me, holding me close. Too close! Way too close! Personal space officially violated, and in so many ways I couldn't even begin to describe—oh sweet Celestia, please let me go.
It feels...nice.
No, it doesn't feel nice, Octavia. You're about to smothered to death by your roommate!
But she's so...warm.
No, no, she is not! She is not adorable when she is sleeping and her coat doesn't feel like silk rubbing against yours and you don't feel woozy when she pulls you close!
Liar. You feel it, don't you? Opposites attract. The butterflies in your belly when she brushes up against you in the street. Your heart racing...
I can't stand her! She's a slob! A mess! She is rude and rowdy and—
—I was oh so very attracted to her.
There are things in life you cannot choose, like how you feel. I couldn't possibly have affections for her. It was unheard of. I couldn't possibly be in love. Call it denial. I wanted to get her to stop drooling on me. I wanted to remove all doubt from the equation. Make my problems disappear. Not have to worry about the ramifications, the social stigma, the impact it would have on my musical career. I could see it now on the front page of Equestria Daily. The word was out. Octavia the fillyfooler.
What would my mother think?
Life knows two miseries. Getting what you don't want and not getting what you want. The trouble with wanting something is the fear of losing it, or never getting it.
Finally she loosened her grasp on me and I slipped away, undetected, slipping beneath my covers and shivering.
A beautiful melody. The sound of harmony. We were a well-oiled machine, in sync—
I cringed as I snapped into reality, my bow pulling across the strings of my bass, creating a horrifying sound that sounded like an angry feline with kidney stones.
"What? What?"
My three companions glared at me.
"You've been kinda distant lately, Octavia."
"Sorry everypony."
"I vote that we end rehearsal today," Frederic suggested, idly tapping a key.
I slumped and packed up my things and left. I had been distracted. Thinking about what I tried and failed to do last night. So far, I wasn't any closer to finding out whether or not Vinyl was a vampire. At that point, my mind was focused on other things: my feelings for her. That cursed mare. It was all her fault. It had taken a while for me to come to terms with it all. I'd brushed off the signs as nothing more than Vinyl being overtly friendly. But I knew, oh yes, I knew. I knew that she wanted me, wanted me to want her.
I was in love.
Was I really? I couldn't even grasp the concept. I had never loved before. Never kissed a pony. Never had a relationship, intimate and open. But I knew this was love. When somepony, no matter what the cost, shows you there was a choice.
You can't pursue this relationship, you stubborn mare. It's career suicide. Social suicide. You're going to risk everything for her?
I silenced that voice in the back of my head indefinitely. Maybe I was over thinking things. She liked me, and I liked her. Wasn't that enough?
If only things were that simple.
Of course, fate would not leave me be, and as I tore open the fridge to grab some sparkling water, thinking I had all the answers to the mysteries of life, I spied something, hidden behind some orange juice and some leftovers. I reached in deep, feeling around with my hoof, until I grabbed onto something cold and lumpy.
I pulled the object out and screamed at the top of my lungs.
A blood pack.
Oh nononono...
I shut my eyes and tried to will it all away, pretend I was seeing things. I wasn't. There it was, laying on the kitchen floor, cold, crimson blood inside the offending plastic package with a clear label stamped upon it stating the blood type.
I swallowed.
What do I say to her? What do I do? What kind of pony brings home blood bags? I certainly didn't bring them home and that meant that she had.
I felt woozy. I felt sick.
Vinyl Scratch was a vampire.
Unless she has to give herself her own blood transfusions! What about that, Octavia?
That voice inside my head, the voice of reason, had stopped making sense. Even it could not dissuade me from the truth. Logic told me that there was a reasonable explanation. Logic was such a liar. This was undeniable proof. Now what? Nopony would believe me. What could I do, call the guards? Try and slay her myself? Leave. Disappear. Make myself scarce. That would have been the smart thing to do.
I guess I wasn't that smart.
I wanted to ask, confirm my suspicions, see if they were true. And again, probably end up lying in a pool of my own blood for asking.
It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake. Maybe some holy water. I imagined myself screaming, "The power of Celestia compels you! The power of Celestia compels you!", as I splashed it on her.
I heard the door open. I gasped and grabbed the bag with my teeth, trying not to think about it, and tossed it back into the fridge.
"Octy, I'm ho-ome!"
I slammed it shut and turned around, grinning nervously, my grin stretching wide. If she found out that I found then they would find my body in a ditch, or a dumpster! I was too young and beautiful to die!
Play it cool, Octavia. Be cool. Just pretend that you didn't see anything. She's still your friend, she's still Vinyl Scratch.
How am I supposed to be cool when my best friend is a blood sucking monster?!
"Hey Octy, you got some mail."
"Mail?"
"Mail. Yeah."
"For me."
"Yeah, Octy, could you move? I wanna drink."
Blood! She's going to drink the blood!
"Ha-haaaa, I've never gotten mail before!" I sidestepped her awkwardly, never taking my eyes off of her.
"Are you alright? You look nervous."
"Me? Nervous? Of course not! Let's just see who this mail is from." I read the return address and recognized the stamp immediately. "Mother?"
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Things were about to get hot inside.
Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
The big reveal... dun.dun!DUN!!!
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.pngLoved it. Wow, I've took up half the page with my comments. 
Image: http://www.movies-wallpapers.net/Movies/Cliffhanger/Cliffhanger-01.jpg
>>883257 Already have....my computer did not like it 
Also.......first thing is first, no matter what......DERPY!!!!!!!!!!! Now on to the second word.....I was so busy laughing my tail off that I forgot I was reading a story about Octy thinnig Vinyl being a vampire....ahh...this is turning out to be a pretty great day.
>>883178 i saw what you did there...
to the author, who is just that awesome, this. was. hilarious! poor octy (henceforth, the name octavia has been stricken from my vocabulary), freakin' out over some blood. it's just blood, girl. there are plenty of conditions where one needs a blood transfusion. i think. i... hope?
anyhow, well done, and well writ.
This is good. As always.
also because no-one else has done this yet:
Image: http://static.themetapicture.com/media/funny-gif-table-flip.gifenjoy
I can see something like this being an actual episode.
My theory is that Vinyl has some type of condition that she's hiding and that's why she needs the blood, and Octavia will over react and attempt to kill her with a wooden stake, garlic, silver bullets, and holy water. 
Okay, this story is, in my lone opinion, so very, very odd. And yet, it is so very, very wonderful for it.
Honestly, I don't think I've read anything on this site in the style that you have. I've read plenty of first person perspective stories, but never any like this. If I had to sum it up in a few words, they'd be: hilarious, charming, and endearing. I love it. You have an interesting concept, you've created interesting personalities, and your writing is great.
On that note, it's fun to see a take on Octavia where she is actually the, more or less, dense one in the relationship. The way we get to view her thought process in the writing is an extreme bonus, too. Just another reason why this story is awesome. When it comes to your Vinyl, although we really only have what Octavia says about her, she seems more or less the common portrayal--with all the vampire qualities excluded, that is. I would like to see more of her side, besides the small amount of dialogue we are given. She's really just a large mystery to us, much like she is to Octavia.
Anyway, really great story so far. Fun writing, fun characters, fun scenes, and an all around good time 
The way I see it, there are only four ways you can go. They are either:
A) Vinyl turns out to be a vampire *they kiss*
B) Vinyl doesn't turn out to be a vampire, and Octavia was blowing it all out of proportion *they kiss*
C) Vinyl is a vampire and proceeds to suck Octavia's blood
D) Vinyl is a vampire and ends up turning Octavia into one as well *they kiss*
Seeing as this is a romance and a comedy, you can probably cross the third one out anyway. And I kind of don't see the fourth one happening either, to be honest. Either way, I'm sure it'll be fine in the end
I completely forgot how fun it is to bait people into replying. You do realize by now that...
You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you have probably been told "don't reply to this guy he is just getting a rise out of you, yes it's true; you respond and that's his cue to start trouble on the double while he strokes his manly stubble."
You've been trolled, you've been trolled, you should probably just fold, when the only winning move is not to play~, and yet you keep on trying, mindlessly replying; you've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day!
DISCLAIMER: I actually didn't set out to troll you. I just suddenly realized that my comments looked very trollish, and I thought, "hey, a great way to lighten the mood is to quote You've Been Trolled, just for the heck of it." And so I did.
Think of it this way: you just got Rick-Trolled. *badumtish*
DISCLAIMER THE SECOND: Your spelling isn't that terrble, actually. I can still understand your comments, which is a damn sight more than I can say for some people.
This whole chain of comments started with me misunderstanding your first comment, and you typed up this long-winded reply, and I stated that your errors made my eyes burn (an exaggeration, mind you!). Then you replied again, basically saying I don't need to be so picky.
And that brings us to this comment, which involves me quoting a "song" from YouTube, two disclaimers, and me admitting I was wrong and I misunderstood your first comment.
Depends on the story and the country of origin. Some verisons (as listed here on wikipedia) don't even have a weakness to garlic. Sunlight and Stake seem to be the most consistent of a vampire's weaknesses, more often than not being fatal to the vampire.
I read the return address and recognized the stamp immediately. "Mother?"
YOU CAN'T BE BUCKING SERIOUS! FER SHIZZLE!
This can't be a coincidence! I just wrote a chapter that ended almost exactly like this one! What the buck! Impossibru! 
Anyhoof, We all knew Derpy was the best at cards. You can never tell if she's bluffing. Damned derpy eyes!
Anyways, good chapter. Can't wait for more.
Vampire puns anyone?
The rivers will run red.
The clot thickens.
Go ahead. Be negative. You'll be just my type.
Care to make a donation?
I'd love a pint.
I'm a universal recipient.
A harvest moon, so aptly named.
My cup is half empty.
Please, let it all out.
Let's pool our efforts.
You look like someone who's got a lot going on beneath the surface.
Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/IS+THIS+A+NEW+MEME+I+SMELL+_d96db5fed18cd74fd197a64effbd15d4.jpg
Great story so far, and I personally preferred the style of Chapter 2. Then again, I'd assume that all the people that had trouble reading it was because they were sane. I love the pacing and am anxious for more, keep it up!
I was listening to this when I read your comment, bravo!
& no, please don't start the puns, they are the most vile form of humor their is, & I don't think I could bear that draining feeling. I'm done.
...I know of someone who wears a mask under his mask. Is this perhaps related, with Vinyl's sunglasses? :3
HO MY CELESTIA THIS UPDATED.
*reaches the end*
Aw, COME ON!
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png
>>885482 *shrugs* Love is love. I'm misanthropic, so the basic processes behind most human interaction creep me out from an objective standpoint. I thus am no more creeped out by lesbian couples than straights, and I ignore it altogether so I can function in society.
Clop issues aside, I don't see the problem. Clop borders creepy, depending on how you look at it, considering the animal nature of the characters.
>>885537 ... Your social mores allow you to look past the surface to see the inner personality of talking magical horses and love them/enjoy them loving each other, but between two women/ponies you can't? Fascinating 
Annnnyway. Great story so far Dennis 
Looking forward to further updates!
So I've seen this story come up in the search results before. I looked at it and thought to my self "well that sounds stupid, i wont read it," thinking it would be just another very odd story that i find typically to be poorly written. Well then i saw it again, then again in the featured box, i was bored, so i thought "Why not?" NEVER, i mean NEVER, judge a book by its cover. This is a great story so far. I am really enjoy it. I cant wait for it to update again! I am deeply sorry for not giving it a shot sooner! Keep it up! (please keep it up... I need more!
)
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