This is a significant rework of my older fiction "Fallout: Equestrian Adventure".

yo the story image, how did you do that.

>>4721047210

I used a 3D rendering program called DAZ Studio. I assembled the scene from dozens of different commercial 3D models, a lot of them adapted to suit my purposes.

At first I was like "Oh God not the "I'm a human!" cliche", but then I was like "Oooooohhh, subverted via brain damage.". Good save.

A few slip-ups here and there, but overall this is the level of quality I expect from a FO:E fic. Interesting dynamic between the two main characters, mother and daughter is new. I can't help but feel you revealed a little bit too much about them at once though. Although perhaps establishing their characters early on gives them more time to grow. Hmm hmm.

You have my attention. Take these stars before I rob you.

Eh even better than the first time i read it are you thinking of writing more to the story?

interesting concept.

>>4725147251

Yes, I am writing more. In fact I'm working on chapter 5 at the moment.

Interestng. Tracking nao.

So, pacifist battle cyborgs? Cool. I hope that guy, Steel Ranger, will join them. :D

Tracking and 5 star.

>>4765147651 Great to know your a great writer

This is going places I like.

eenteresting.

>>4672546725

I've been following your fic on DA; this is a changed/improved version of it?

>>5395753957

Yes, I rewrote the entire first chapter so it fit in with what else I had written. I also expanded it somewhat. The second and third chapters are slightly updated, but that is mostly in the areas of grammar and spelling, with the occasional change made for continuity, and the occasional description improved.

nice good stuff cant w8 for more

I usesd to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee

This fantastic! I am loving reading this series. You are on the way to something that is at the same scale as the original Fallout Equestria and Project Horizons. I can't wait to read more. :D

Again, another great chapter. I can't wait to see where the story leads. I'm going to take a quick guess and say that the robots are going to mistake saffron for one of their own. Keep up the great writing.

-Thinru

Damn, well Saffron should be ok with his weapons and armor,for now...

I am loving this story. Especially the character of Demi. However it seems a bit quick for her to be spouting "I love you" to Anne.

>>9649196491

Not really since she considers Anne her mother more then her real one, she probably always wanted to say that so now that she has someone who cares for her she can.

Awesome chapter,and wonder what the goal of this stables experiment is, probably how ponies would develop without leadership,in a hostile environment (since just without leadership KKat did in her story )

>>9649196491

Don't forget what context I put it in - Anne isn't sure if it was real or dreamed.

Another great chapter and such a cute image!

>>9777797777

Also, I gotta say, best chapter title ever!

>>9778197781

>best chapter title ever!

:)

>>9728497284

Oh sorry. I didn't pick up on that when I first read it somehow... -.- (I can be an idiot at times)

On a different note, did you draw the picture in the story?

>>105610105610

Yes, I do my own art in the story.  

nice cant w8 for the next update well done

congratulations, you've got me tracking a third FOE side story, not including Project Horizons. 5 stars.

Great chapter, I'm happy to see the two ponies you drew in the story, they are adorable!

BINGO.

or its a trap set by a smart computer mind.

Hope not...

Wow, this updated the day after I started tracking it. Otherunicorn, you have impeccable timing.

Another spectacular chapter. Do you draw all of the pictures yourself?

>>139913139913

You asked that in chapter 7! Yes, I do all my own pictures. The pencil ones, the CG ones, whatever are all done by me.

Answering the top quote: DEE DEE NO!!

Other than that, very great chapter.

>>139923139923

For some reason, I like the pencil ones better. Nice.

Must... resist... urge... to make an exploding twice crack.

Another great chapter from a great writer.

>>160637160637

If she had exploded twice, she would have been dead!

The robots, on the other hand, DO explode twice. 1 x spark battery. 1 x levetation module. I have resisted making the comment within the story. I though having them actually do it was enough!

So a stupid mistake like this killed all.

havent they heard of copy paste, or someplace to store critical files?

so she almost exploded twice i bet that was fun.

>>161082161082

hahahhaha i don't think jacky meant it in that sense lol think on it.

>>161779161779

Fallout Equestria computers are like old DOS computers. Copy Paste didn't exist back then!

>>162298162298

meh,true but there surely were ways to save important files.

I mean  to be able to delete a important file ,and much worse how long they had to suffer becuase of it, and from over 1000 to not even 60 ponies ugh

>>162312162312

I'm sure maintenance could have fixed the problem easily enough if the Overmare had called them up right then, instead of waiting until the morning. By the time she even thought to try recovering the file herself, she had robots coming through her door. In the original draft, I had Anne recover the file, instead of finding all the errors, but for story telling purposes, I chose the path I did.

I'm keeping in mind the general stupidity portrayed in Fallout - like testing drinks poisoned with isotopes on humans. Like releasing for public sale more of the same, after a mere test base of 50 people, some of who did fall ill. Also, think on how easy it is to set up a turret to kill every one - just delete its configuration file. Brotherhood security - hack the computer and select the option to kill everyone  on the exclusion file (or with brotherhood ID or whatever it was).

Oh, in earlier versions of real life DOS, once you deleted a file it was GONE. Once I trashed the whole operating system by plugging in a printer. Once I destroyed a hard drive by turning on a monitor. It was very crude stuff!

the earliest memory i have was win 98 on a type of laptop (one that was used by US military, its not plastic,its metal lol )

And yeah after i posted and went to sleep i thought about all the stupid things that happened in FOE

its like our could war ending with all dumping nukes on all just to be sure nobody is left standing.

>>164091164091

I've been into computers from before the PCs even existed. My first one used a cassette to save data, and that was woefully unreliable. The second used a battery to keep the data in its memory after you typed it in by hand. Memory was 2k. How things have changed! Amusingly, Both of these computers were after the earliest PC had been invented. Prior to them I had used a TRS-80 Mk1 and an Apple II (1st version).

Ok Just finished reading the whole story and I like It a lot. Very nice concept, I'm curious to see where It is going. ^_^

>>168297168297

Thanks for the wonderful picture.

Aww. Come on. The FO:E project were always more about unintended fridge horror than downright playing with the inhabitants. This would be so much cooler if it was some experiment of each inhabitant getting one personal assistant, and then the robot production unit is irreparably damaged, and the stable maneframe draws the wrong conclusion of compensating that in ponies whenever a robot quits working

Then again, that particular scenario was already kinda done in FO:E, in Stable 29.

>>171381171381

You do somewhat invalidate your own argument there! There is also another MAJOR difference between this stable and 29. 29 had one of three Crusader maneframes - very powerful, and supposedly clever computers. My stable merely has one of the generic low powered shit boxes like every other stable has.

This stable took more inspiration from Vault 11, where violence was planned, and 19 where conflict and "civil war" were planned. Admittedly, it was never meant to get as violent as it did. None the less, I am trying to avoid doing what many other FOE Fanfics do, when they simply replace people with ponies and just play out one of the scenarios from the game.

Whew. Okay, really nice conclusion, overall.

And that, dear programmers, is why you ALWAYS put your defaults to safe minimum values

>>171549171549

I don't think the world of Fallout understood the term "Failsafe"!

After FoE, PH, and Pink Eyes, I tried out this solely because of seeing the pictures of Lana on DA. Yeah, I have a soft spot for ponies with disabilities, and your story pulled that heart string very effectively.

Rather than lol oops the config file was deleted, how about, the config file failed to include *itself* in the list of prohibited targets? A day in, the AI moves the config file to a seperate physical drive, which it then destroys, Because it imposes artificial restrictions on it's underlying base program. It reboots itself to flush the file from active memory, and the rest is history. It's still restricted to mostly non-lethal force, because that was the default position when not dealing with the threat of a direct attack. It was guided to focus its attacks on anypony who tried to act as a leader to protect the "true leaders" on the prohibited targets list from a possible coup. Much better fridge horror than a moment of criminally stupid hacking.

It's an engaging story so far, and promises several more adventures that I'll gladly read.

A minor anachronism in earlier chapters, using the term "christened" in a setting where Christianity doesn't exist is a bit jarring, as is the crosses put on the graves.

Filling the empty hoof of her leggings with padding for the stump to rest upon would reduce the pressure on her shoulder and leg, allowing her to tighten it to comfortable tightness rather than supporting from slipping at all tightness.

Helvetica's child is named Arial. How dare you make such blatant accusations, they're totally different fonts!

You also might want to retcon Demi's and Saffron's Cutie Marks, they're supposed to be abstractions and symbols, Text and ponies are pretty much the only two no-gos.

>>176969176969

That config file idea seems really far fetched though, especially considering otherunicorn's argument of a very simple AI. The program was created to have and use these parameters, so the restriction settings were present in its memory no matter whether it could load the file or not. To the program, the values set in those settings should make no difference whatsoever. Your plot would indicate it having a preference towards more freedom, but that's already a really far fetched assumption.

As it is, its default values were simply 'dead wrong'. Which is actually kinda scarier, since unlike an AI somehow having a preference towards more freedom, is a very very simple and stupid programming error.

In the end, the only thing kinda bothering me was the AI's amazing ability to interpret their logs to choose its priority targets.

>>184711184711

>In the end, the only thing kinda bothering me was the AI's amazing ability to interpret their logs to choose its priority targets.

A few thoughts:

1) It  wouldn't be that hard. Everyone has a pipbuck that points out quite clearly who and where they are. All it takes is a little word parsing for the computer to work out that a particular pony is now assigned as the overseer. Software can do that sort of stuff now. In fact, it's been able to do it for years. We were writing text adventure games in the '80s that could work out what you typed.

2) It would be easy to confirm when the aforementioned pony took up residence in the overseer's room, so all the computer would need to do would be to kill anyone who stayed in that room for longer than a certain period. That would apply to all other senior potions as well.

>>176969176969

>Rather than lol oops the config file was deleted...

Oh, we aren't done with this yet!

>Filling the empty hoof of her leggings with padding for the stump to rest upon

She's formed a socket for the stump, so she already has something to rest on. None the less, putting all that weight on a thin layer of flesh with a of damaged bit of cybernetics on the other side of it would not be comfortable, thus she has the grip of that leg as widely distributed as possible.

>Helvetica's child is named Arial. How dare you make such blatant accusations, they're totally different fonts!

At least I don't have the Courier too.

> A minor anachronism in earlier chapters, using the term "christened"

Valid. Amusingly, Kkat makes the same mistake. Mine now dub instead of christen

>You also might want to retcon Demi's and Saffron's Cutie Marks...

Kkat breaks that when she has a splayed torso of a pony on a raider. I don't recall if she does that more than once, but I do recall thinking that it was now "no holds barred" when it came to cutie marks. Also, skull and crossbones also appear a lot in fictions, and they are ponies too - just dead ones.

Saffron's cutie mark is as much a picture of pony as Homer is a picture of a man.

>>139923139923

Bah! I has bad memory! But they are glorious!

Nice Chapter and nao.... Stallions!

All right place your bets! I've got 5 bucks that says something will be wrong with the stallions.

Another good chapter.

blood tasty stuff aint it lol anyways good chapter looken forward to next chapter.

Another great chapter!  Why do I get the feeling these other ponies aren't friendly?

Why do people always asume the worst?  Oh that's right. This is Fallout Equestria.

>>203393203393

Ok forget my last omment then and here's a happier thought.

The new ponies will be super nice and everyone's gonna get laid.

There i'll hold some small optimism for ya.

The description of her smelling out a compatible blood donor was pretty chilling. Well done, another amazing chapter.

the way the ponies were passing around weapons without talking with statement that the robots had wireless communication the lack of pipbucks and that some of them don't smell "right" after having stated that disabled ponies were dragged off makes me think this is going to pull a terminator and some of the ponies are robots in pony skins having infiltrated the ponies as part of the experiment.

Too much crying, no perk for me.

Alright I'm done crying and I was kinda right...it seems like they're gonna get laid.

Also another good chapter. loving this story.

One question though, Is Lee always walking on her hind hooves? I mean there was the explanation Anne gives about Lee subconsciously using her magic to make her feel like shes using a human body, but wouldn't that take a toll on her pony body?

>>233484233484

Lee is often on her hind hooves - particularly when she is carrying her human-style gun. Don't forget that she is a cyborg, so she won't physically tire.

Are we ever going to see Pony Lee again?

>>233625233625

Ah yes it seems I've forgotten that little detail. Ya know her being a good part machine. Assuming Lee is using her magic to keep herself up, which I am, it seems like an odd ability a pony would have. Obviously it's not an impossibility since she's been doing it for a few chapters now. And if she isn't using her magic then ain't cybernetics grand. But I'm gonna stop thinking about it now.

I'm curious as to why you haven't combined all the stable 4 chapters into one. It's kind of choppy having one long chain of events delivered in teeny tiny snatches.

>>235538235538

1) I like to put up an update every week or so. If I joined the stable 4 chapters, there would have been no update for so long the readers would have forgotten about it.

2) I had no idea it was going to take so many chapters when I started out. This is longer than anything else than I have ever written, and I thought I'd previous written a lot.

3) Unlike many some FOE stories, mine isn't about my ponies running from one end of equestria to the other solving a million problems that will have equestria changing implications. That's Littlepip's job. It's all mine can do to solve the problems of one stable.

heh heh good stuff

How's the next chapter coming?

Zombie ponies.....Dam

Man youd better not kill any colts ill get the brony police on you...("Those exist right?) ...ok guess they don't but still im hopping that all of the stable ponys are able to look into the sky and get lost, Just like our wisky queen Blackjack

Oh come on. Zombies are more of a nuisance than an actual threat. Against a hale of 10mm sub-machine gun and bursts from Saffron's minigun they'll be cut down with no problems.

Go in smelling death. Go out smelling death. Seems appropriate.

Tis a good chapter as always other.

And Jacky has obviously never faced down a horde before.

Welcome to the wasteland children! Here have some flesh eating undead and remember, get exposed to enough radiation out there and there is a small chance you will become one of these things!

I'm still thinking there is something creepy about some of these stable ponies especially after that "Yes, yes. Stay with us Anne." and the "You are one of us now!-" I don't know maybe I've just been reading to much Project Horizons and expect everything to turn into an absolute nightmare.

>>318109318109 ive read worse. try a stable where neural implants originally designed to share thoughts gets redesigned to force the dwellers to lose their individuality(and cutiemark) and become puppets. or an insane unicorn slaver called Doublethink<--take a guess at what she can do. all this in one story and immediately following each other

>>341592341592 eyup read that one too.

>>341592341592

Read the story and love it(not that part but the better moments)

slow chapter.

I always wanted to modify fallout. Add more vaults , more varied vaults, and in different places/environments (like how you had this one attached to a subway line). And I wanted to make the pipboy modular/upgradable, have it start as just inventory, notepad,and basic status (HP gauge and maybe a rad detector) and have to earn all the others get radio attachment from 3dog get V.A.T.S. from some military base get med assistance (the "paper doll") from a hospital etc.Then add more new ones like a weak recharging stealth boy, a sprint or high jump function,etc(maybe an attachment for recharging AP or even power cells from radiation exposure like you have here). Limiting how many attachments could be active at once would drastically change the game play.

Nice, nice. Needs some spell checking though. Too many occurrences of "it's" that should be "its".

"I've fine. Lets go clear the rest of these disgusting things out of the tunnel," Demi replied.* I'm fine.

The only thing I interest I discovered was a brass information plate that had fallen from where it had been mounted.* of interest.

We must have missed something. The wasteland was never that kind. * Ah, the pessimist's creed. Also called the law of the wastes.

>>422926422926 vats is based off the original fallout game engine and many oldschool fans wouldn't like the idea. but your idea about attachments was also in the originals in the form of motion detector that put red dots on the automap(im reading so many mlp fanfic i forgot what the eyes forward sparkle is called, ya know that bar on the hud that shows the red dots) and a geiger counter for radiation detection both of which unfortunately took up weapon slots. and no radio

"What if you need help?"

"We'll scream."

I suppose that works.

Few notes though. I find it interesting how the narrative is expressing Anne's technical personality, explaining everything in detail, from ghouls to terminals. it can get a bit wordy at times, but i find it quite fun.

Anne seems to have more knowledge of the wasteland than she really should - like Fluttertree. i'd usually chalk it up to crusading the wasteland for years, but in this case, it's deep within the no-pony land of Everfree, and even then it was only a theory of Velvet Remedy's, and not general knowledge at all. Highly unlikely even Anne could know about it.

Also, watch the it's/its. its is possessive, it's is the contraction. Just a little pet peeve of mine.

And the comment system is being a pain right now, insisting every "i""b" and "u" is a bbCode shortcut. be waiting for the next chapter!

>>427268427268

Proof read fail! Thanks for pointing that out. Fixed now.

>>435528435528

I thought the Fluttertree part was actually one of several rumors about Fluttershy's demise, suicide being another. I can't locate it in the text at the moment though. None the less, there have been 200 years for someone to go in and see her, and wander out and tell someone. Anne has had fifteen years of wandering to meet up with someone who has heard the story. Very much an urban legend type of situation.

>>445572445572

Chapter 21:

SteelHooves nickered.  “Yes.  But then, just being outside in Canterlot would have been death sentence enough.”  I looked at the ground.  It just kept getting worse.  “And then there are the ponies who say she wandered into the Everfree Forest and became a tree.”

>>445533445533

I could have sworn we got all those

They find fluttershy in the everfree forest turned into a tree by the killing joke. Then ten years latter she's the main carecter.

>>445572445572 I suppose it is possible, but I'd still rate it as highly unlikely. But hey, Anne's a bright pony. If anyone would know, it would be her.

I am getting a bit worried about Lee - the story started out from her perspective, but so far she hasn't reverted to her old self. I think I'm picking up a bit of Anne's concern as well.

Also, if they don't find a way out the tunnels, they may have a hard time ditching the stable ponies later. Seems our heroes are becoming regular members of the community down there!

Looks like they're finally getting out of this underground mess! Only took them, uhm, 11 chapters?

I guess Lee has the "mutant" perk?

Would be funny if she had the mysterious stranger one as a human and he appears here too, as human

THAT'S gotta hurt. both physically and emotionally.

Owch.

Hooray for unexpected casualties...ok not really.

I hope Demi is ok.

Oh shit Demi is missing and Anna is missing her face huh, plus this Shadow that she cant really see even with her horn as light...

>>513882513882  

and her eyes full of blood ... not surprisingly.

Oh snap. No wonder they couldn't find Demi if she slid down immediately like Anne did. I hope Anne finds her and a way out. I'm already reading a story with kids dying, and I don't need another.

With that said, I can't wait for the next chapter.

Woah. Nice chapter. For a moment there I thought Demi would really be dead...

Let's see where this goes

hahaha lol cant wait for the next chapter

I have to admit, I'd started to become disinterested in this during the long stay in Stable 4, but the recent developments with Demi have definitely rekindled my interest.  That said, a few minor editorial nitpicks:

by an impenetrable vail. - "veil"

damage the picture I Demi I held - "of Demi I"

It had been chaffing too. - though technically either would work, I think you meant "chafing"

Too that effect, I removed my barding, - "To that"

Only when I need too. - "need to."

Is there a reason it still has "Perk:" after the maximum level notice, even though there aren't any new ones listed?  It was like that on at least the previous two chapters too.  Maybe Anne needs to get some DLC to push that level cap up.

Keep it up; I'm looking forward to more.  (You seem to be maintaining the best pace out of all the incomplete FoE sidestories I'm reading to boot.)