<

cheezesauce

Joined December 2011
34 followers

Groups

Stories (2)

  • Draconequus
    Something lurks in the shadows of the night. Twilight doesn't know what it is.

    37,564 words · 3,256 views · 121 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Once a happy pink pony
    I came from a shimmering pool of crystal clear water. I moved from the dark forest to the cheery village that was built nearby. I was once a happy pink pony, but then things took a turn for the worst.
    2,307 words · 551 views · 27 likes · 3 dislikes

Blog Posts (10)


Little is known about the creature cast in stone. On the night of an eclipse, an unknown horror is released into the Everfree forest, seeking out the blood of a particular purple pony.

Armed with a mysterious black book and with the help of her friends, Twilight is forced into a terrifying adventure of uncovering secrets and finding a way out of her nightmare. But the problem is that nopony knows what a Draconequus really is.

---

EqD Link: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/01/story-draconequus.html

Special thanks to: Burraku_Pansa, Aquillo and Casca for editing help

First Published
11th Dec 2011
Last Modified
29th Jun 2013

Comments ( 70 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

Oooh-hoo-hoo-hoo......

I say, that was a chill to read through.

Please, sire/madam, more...

???
#2 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

soooo...discord was a fossil?

#3 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

Special thanks to:

-Burraku_Pansa,

-Aquillo

-Casca

For tirelessly working with me on this. I've learnt a great deal from your comments.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 4d ago · · ·

fantastic

#5 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 2d ago · · ·

Oh my goodness....can't wait for more!  

#6 · Chapter 1 · 123w, 1d ago · · ·

Haha. thanks.

you guys are gonna love chapter 2 :)

#7 · Chapter 1 · 121w, 3h ago · · ·

>>68687 Isn't that the truth! x)

#8 · Chapter 1 · 121w, 3h ago · · ·

Hope you'll have chapter 3 written soon too! :twilightsmile:

#9 · Chapter 2 · 121w, 2h ago · · ·

for me fear is replaced by anger. My gawd if I was in that situation I'd fucking go into this pure unfiltered rage and gawd I don't fucking destroy the whole place in one glorious explosion.

good story I be tracking yo

#10 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 6d ago · · ·

Few things are more terrifying than the monster hiding in the closet, than the shapeless form lurking under the bed, than the unknowable creature drifting through the currents of oblivion right outside your door. What I'm trying to say is, things in the dark are freaking scary.

Nice chapter.

#11 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 6d ago · · ·

fantastic

#12 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 6d ago · · ·

>>96098>>96102>>96888>>97230

thanks for all your comments! they really make my day :rainbowkiss:

#13 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 4d ago · · ·

Eagerly waiting for more.

#14 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 1d ago · · ·

Hmmmm...

Well, you asked me for a review on this. I am happy to comply, though at the moment, there's really not much for me to say. If you want my opinion though, you're doing very well. Far better than most of the fics I read. You managed to pull off the dark, claustrophobic atmosphere in this chapter that, while I wasn't necessarily scared, it was pretty tense. And that's not easy to do with me, at least not with the written word.

Although, I have to say, there's little in the way of mystery, what with the whole situation with the moon and its effect on stone being placed right before us. Also, while I like to preach the word "detail" a lot, there comes a point where you may want to take a step BACK. In this case, it's not much of a big step, but I remember in the first chapter cocking an eyebrow and saying "I already know that Twilight is meticulous and well organized, why do I have to know the location of every single thing she's set up?" Furthermore, while you do add a lot of detail, at times it feels you opt to tell rather than show, which can sometimes feel like a speed bump in the story.

But in all honesty? I'd say that aside from the occasional quirk here and there, along with the odd spelling or grammar issue, you're doing pretty well for yourself. At least a good 4/5 so far. Still, I'd like to read more before I give anything more in depth.

#15 · Chapter 2 · 120w, 1d ago · · ·

>>100481

>>108412 Okay, noted. Thanks :)

#16 · Chapter 2 · 119w, 3d ago · · ·

Second chapter in, and you've already succeeded in creeping me out :D Not so much the monster thingymajig, but the way you wrote the 'coming up the stairs part' and the ssh's. *Tracks.*

I wonder why Discord isn't in the tags...hmm.

#17 · Chapter 2 · 119w, 3d ago · · ·

...Wait a minute. I get that the genre here is horror, but...heh. Wait. :rainbowhuh: I'm assuming too soon that this is a story about Discord. Of course, it makes way too much sense for it NOT to be Discord, but, you know, I haven't got that far yet. :twilightblush:

Anyway, that just goes to show you how creeped I am. Please continue! :twilightsmile:

#18 · Chapter 2 · 119w, 3d ago · · ·

>>119573

I thought it would have been misleading to tag Discord. Because the 'Discord' in this story is just based of the idea from the show, but it's a long way off from the original Discord. It doesn't follow the canon characterization or god of chaos type of powers.

>>120175

Glad you enjoed it! :D

#19 · Chapter 1 · 119w, 2d ago · · ·

Trioxychloromethylbenezoyl Pentoxysillicate. THAT. Is not a safe chemical. :twilightoops:

#20 · Chapter 2 · 119w, 2d ago · · ·

>>121891 It doesn't even exist in real life. I just lumped a whole bunch of chemistry stuff together to form a ridiculously long name. :pinkiehappy:

#21 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 2d ago · · ·

How often do you think you can update? I understand it takes a bit of effort, but just so I have a general idea. :pinkiehappy:

#22 · Chapter 2 · 118w, 2d ago · · ·

>>138815

I think i need about two weeks per chapter. I kind of procrastinate a lot >_<

But im pretty sure that chapter 3 should be done by next week! :twilightsmile:

#23 · Chapter 3 · 117w, 4d ago · · ·

DAYM discord, you scary!

#24 · Chapter 3 · 116w, 2d ago · · ·

I agree with the above comment: dayum.

#25 · Chapter 4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

I really liked the line "Little is know about the creature cast in stone."

#26 · Chapter 4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

Mindless praise time!, it was amazing.

#27 · Chapter 4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

>>178332

I was quite happy to stumble upon it :twilightsmile:

>>176716>>178612

Mmm... excellent.

#28 · Chapter 4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm normally not one for horror, but I'm enjoying this one.

Also, Rarity is my favourite pony and it's rare to see her used in a capacity other than 'bitchy' or 'fashion pony without any other features or qualities', so kudos for that!

#29 · Chapter 4 · 116w, 1d ago · · ·

I love the story so far, its got a good atmosphere, moves at just the right pace, and the descriptions are top notch.

Just one little question.... was the book 'Draconequus' written by NiegH.P. Lovecraft?

???
#30 · Chapter 4 · 115w, 4d ago · · ·

...this is a side i haven't seen before...plus people how do we know it's discord? thier may be more than one...unlikly but still

#31 · Chapter 4 · 105w, 3d ago · · ·

Hey there, cheeze. I'm happy this is being so well-received! Question, though; it's listed as incomplete. Is there still more to be added or are you reworking things?

#32 · Chapter 4 · 105w, 3d ago · · ·

>>460045

yup! there will be more chapters coming up. I tend to procrastinate a lot though, and I'm also concurrently working on another one-shot sadfic along with RavensDagger.

Thanks for helping me out with my story!

>>179712

Thanks! I'm not sure about that though; I didn't read any of his stories.

#33 · Chapter 4 · 105w, 3d ago · · ·

>>460330

Not a problem at all, and I look forward to editing those new chapters, as well. Keep up the good work.

#34 · Chapter 4 · 101w, 1d ago · · ·

excited to see more! :D

#35 · Chapter 4 · 86w, 1d ago · · ·

Please do write more. I was enjoying this hugely.

#36 · Chapter 4 · 84w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1182645

I am, but I'm an incredibly slow writer, and I procrastinate too. I also became more and more unsatisfied with the current chapters, so I'm reworking things a little. My apologies :twilightsheepish:

#37 · Chapter 4 · 84w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1250854

Well... If you're unsatisfied, maybe there's something in it - but you may also be seeing flaws that aren't really there. To be 'one's own harshest critic' is hardly an uncommon thing in a writer.

I'm pretty damned picky, as a casual glance through my comment history will show, and I see nothing wrong so far. 'Tis a class act.

In any event, I'm thrilled that wheels are still turning!

#38 · Chapter 4 · 75w, 4d ago · · ·

Damn it, when this appeared in the first couple pages of Latest Updates I though there was a new chapter.

Whelp, time to go burn down an orphanage for the blind to get my spirits up!

#39 · Chapter 5 · 74w, 6d ago · · ·

New chapter :pinkiehappy: and I loved it keep it up good sir!

#40 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Oh no! Owloysius is watching Rarity!

#41 · Chapter 5 · 72w, 1d ago · · ·

Aha! I caught you! Twilight doesn't know what a draconequus is, so this must be taking place in the past. And Sweetie can use magic, so this must be taking place in the future. And let us not forget that you gave no sign in the description or in the initial passages of the story that this is not taking place in the present, so by convention it must be.

Also, on a less pedantic note of complaint, your characterization of Sweetie is off. She actually does like her friends.

#42 · Chapter 6 · 71w, 3d ago · · ·

This story is creepy...continue please. Also im asuming this takes place before Discord or is this an alternate universe or something. Well anyway I'll be watching this story.

#43 · Chapter 6 · 71w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1780527

Oh yes, this is an alternate universe story. I'm exploring a darker take on discord, and it seems to be going quite well! :twilightsmile:

#44 · Chapter 6 · 70w, 6d ago · · ·

:pinkiehappy: this is amazing! Please continue!

#45 · Chapter 7 · 69w, 2h ago · · ·

Great chapter, didn't notice any mistakes. I cant wait for the next one.

#46 · Chapter 7 · 69w, 2h ago · · ·
#47 · Chapter 7 · 68w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

This is turning into one of my favorite dark MLP story. It's hard to find a good one that I haven't already finished today. Awesome work! :pinkiehappy:

#48 · Chapter 7 · 68w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1877105

Dark seems to be a combination of horror and suspense here, and I'm glad that I've managed to create that feeling without having to resort to gore or killing off lots of characters. Thank you so much!

#49 · Chapter 7 · 68w, 1d ago · · ·

Now this is Dark in the sense of horror and suspense and not depressing. Good job.

#50 · Chapter 7 · 68w, 22h ago · · ·

>>1896372

Oh, you mean like a combination [Dark] and [Sad]? Yes, quite a number of stories fall into that area, probably because it involves our beloved ponies dying :(

0 3634 348591
Login or register to comment