I always loved Fluttershy. It never mattered that I couldn't have her, that we may as well have been worlds apart, I've never not wanted her. But when the time finally came that I could be with her, she was not for me. She had grown old and faded, while I had remained very much the same.
But I will not be denied. After so long, she is at last within my grasp, and I will not allow a silly thing like the passage of time to deny me my destiny.
I am going to travel back in time so that I can seduce the Fluttershy I fell in love with.
Written for F*** THIS PROMPT #15.
Chapters (1)
Excellent twist on the prompt! I love how it's not an OC that you've used as everyone's favorite protagonist. And the choice of Flurry Heart is even better. I felt that the reasons for their coloring was sound as well as their reasons for time travel. Additionally, I love how things don't go the way Flurry wants. TO be shot down before being attacked by a bear? Personally, I think it's brilliant. This is easily one of my favorite stories and as usual, you've done a wonderful job with it!
The story, for the most part, was good. I especially liked your coloring spell explanation—that was a neat take on the prompt.
Change in tone in the ending left me very confused, though. It feels dark, and Fluttershy’s dialogue sounds noticeably more cold-blooded in the last paragraph.
Hehe, excellent read, Moriarty. :3
Thanks for the entry. I shall read with interest
If I were judging the contest, I would probably be writing that prize out to you right now.
7945707 I'm flattered, truly.
I forgot to upthumb >.>
Dat twist.
And to think, it could have gone well. Just had to say you wanted to spend your whole life together.
The ending came a bit fast, but I certainly like where is went.
Also that Twilight line cracked me up
This story is impressive, but why does Fluttershy seem so angry at the end?
8291038
Honestly, I was pressed for time and thought a bear attack was a fun ending. Hindsight is 20/20.
8292117
Got it. I thought maybe Fluttershy was mad that this strange alicorn only wanted her when she was young and beautiful or something.
8292346
Well, that is the reasoning behind her being angry, but several people have pointed out she seems uncharacteristically angry.
8293040
Got it. Think you might want to edit it, then?
8293560
I prefer to learn from mistakes and apply them to the future rather than trying to change the past, personally.
8293596
Ok, got it.
8293596
Which this protagonist tried... kinda.
Stray thought: fate brought her to Flutter's house right when Fluttershy was trying Iron Will's method
I'm so confused on the self insert tag. The main protagonist is Flurry Heart, which you are clearly not. If you're trying to refer to Fiddle Diddle, then you better change it to an OC tag.