One Thousand One Ways to Thwart a King

by enigmaMystere

Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.

A bird flies through the air in the ensuing silence, much to Twilight's embarrassment and Dainn's bemusement. He scoffs, gesturing to the creature. "This little thing is your hero? It couldn't do anything to my weakest bitch, much less me."

He suddenly feels a sting in his arm. Wincing, he turns to look at it, only to become baffled at the dart now stuck to it, tangled in his fur. "...what the actual fuck is this?" His head turns left and right before his eyes narrow. He flattens a building with a burst of magic, exposing the figure hiding behind it.

He finds a man with a white set of robes on, a hood covering his face. His black cloak flutters behind him slightly as he takes a step back, his boot audibly thumping against the crystal road. The guy tsks, then makes his way towards the purple pony. "I guess stealth isn't an option, this time."

"...who are you, and what were you even trying to do?" Dainn crosses his arms, wincing a bit when his fingers brush against the fresh cut.

Twilight swears he sees the faintest hint of a smile before he responds, bowing with his arms spread. "My name is Ezio Auditore."

The caribou furrows his brow at this. "Why did you bring that up? I don't need to know your name to kill you."

"I could've sworn it was proper etiquette for one to introduce themselves before issuing the challenge for a duel." His eyes flick up to his horns. "Am I mistaken with what your race does?"

"No one's ever challenged me." Dainn sneers at him. "So few want to commit suicide that way."

"Good thing I'm not planning on dying." He turns to look at Twilight, placing a hand on the hilt of his sword. "You won't tell anyone about this."

She quickly shakes her head. "N-no, you go right ahead. I promise not to tell a soul!"

"Let's hope so." He faces the caribou, drawing his sword. "Are you ready?"

"...You know what? Sure." The king exposes the blade in his staff, holding it in both hands. "And, just because you're being a cocky bastard, I'll best you without using my magic."

"Magic?" He thinks back to earlier. "Ah. That's how you were able to do that without a weapon." He steps forward, bringing his sword up to bear as he nears his opponent.

Scoffing, Dainn swings his halberd down, intending to end the fight swiftly. To his surprise, his weapon was deflected to the side, not by a shield, but by the very sword Ezio was carrying. Anticipating a counter, he draws his forward hand back, swinging the blunt end sharply towards the hooded man, who just as swiftly jumped back.

Growling at his attacks having no effect, he lashes out with his right hand, aiming for his neck. As expected, the man stopped the blow, but only by grabbing his wrist. Seeing a blade now swinging towards his head, he instinctively brings up his arm, hoping his bracer will be enough to stop it. Surprisingly, the blade didn't have much force behind it.

Unfortunately for him, that was intentional.

He feels a blade dig into his shoulder, making him grit his teeth as he feels a burning like fire begin to course through his arm, his chest, his neck. He closes his eyes, trying to block out the pain.

It suddenly stops progressing, and he opens an eye to see a white room around him. He collapses to his knees, his breathing heavy as he looks up at the man before him, hatred in his eyes. "You think you've won? This isn't over." He lets go of his weapon to point at the being who single handedly beat him, and without any special abilities. "You cannot kill me!"

"This sounds vaguely familiar." Ezio looks down at the pool of blood beneath the caribou. "You may say that, but your body is already giving up. You cannot be saved."

"Maybe this body." He laughs weakly, coughing up some blood. "But there will be others. You haven't won." He falls on his back, his eyes closing as the darkness takes him.

---

"Zero."

Dainn is silent, striding up and picking Twilight up by the throat. "You're going to stop this, even if I have to kill you at the beginning of each and every cycle." He pulls his arm back, eyes narrowed as he stares at the tower in the distance.

"N-no, stop," she screams as she's flung through the air, "you PSYCHO! HEROOOO!"

Author's Note:

I hope I did this guy justice. I don't really play Assassin's Creed (I don't own an XBox or any gaming system ), so I had to take info on him from clips online and the Assassin's Creed Wiki.
On that subject, if anyone can and wants to help with research and/or making sure heroes stay in character, then I'd be more than grateful to accept that help. Next time? Well, let's say that there's a little subtle clue in the chapter. Maybe. I don't know.
Until next time!

Comments

[AShadyDetective]

Nice, though your right, you did miss a bit of Ezios cockiness, but it's fine.

Also can you try Geralt from the Witcher at one point, I can just imagine that all he would say is that he's just killing monsters

[DJSnakeBit3]

Perhaps Alex Mercer from Prototype?

[Godzilladragon]

Seras Victoria, and Geralt.

Or FemShep.

[Foolish shadow]

-My suggestions-
<The legend of Korra>
Korra
<RWBY>
Qrow Branwen
Pyrrha
Yang
Ruby
<Birdy the mighty>
Birdy
<Bayonetta>
Bayonetta
<skyrim>
A random female Dovahkin{bonus as a player made character their personality is a blank slate}
<Naruto>
Sakura
<Kill LA Kill>
Ryuko Matoi
Satsuki Kiryuin
<saints row series>
A female Boss
<Red vs Blue>
Tex
Carolina
Sheila
Caboose
<slayers>
Lina inverse{her signature SMD[Spell of mass devastation] say good bye to the city}
<histories mightiest disciple>
Kenichi
Miu
Shigurai
<Rosario x vampire>
Tsukune
Moka "Know your place"
<the various tenchi series>
Pretty much any one of the main females
<Other>
Eris<gender flipped Discord>{ just for sheer absurdity}
A witchblade< that then attaches to Twilight>{let's Twilight dish out some pain

[enigmaMystere]

7967898
...I didn't know even half those characters. I'm gonna go look them up.
Though when you say Tenchi, do you mean Tenchi Muyo?
And what is a witchblade?

[enigmaMystere]

7962711
7966300
Doesn't the Witcher do stuff with women? Probably not as bad as Connery's Bond... but I'll add all of these to the list.
Why FemShep, specifically? Not that I'm against it, I just wanna hear your reasoning.

7964413
Mercer? I guess I could finish that game to see all he can do. Added.

7964303
Exactly. Though I will admit, it didn't occur to me how he might be turned against Dainn until I looked back at the comments.

[Foolish shadow]

7974734 Technically his name is Tenchi Misaki, but yeah.
As for the witchblade, a rough summary is that its a powerful semi sentient artifact in the darkhorse comics universe that can only be wielded by a female of its choosing, though I've only seen the anime and read a few of the comics.

[Godzilladragon]

7974741

Ever seen the trailer "Killing Monsters?"

And yeah, Geralt sleeps around, but he isn't sexist.

And because femshep, kicks ass.

[enigmaMystere]

7975206
I might just do someone from his series. Maybe that scientist, or the outlaw. Can't remember their names... it's been so long since I've watched it...
Not sure if an artifact counts as a hero, though... I'll have to look into that one a bit more.

[enigmaMystere]

7975385
...wow, that was bad ass. Geralt is on the list. Underlined twice.
Also, I'll look into both forms of Shepard, but I'll keep female in mind.

[Foolish shadow]

7977267 The scientist is Washu and the outlaw is Ryoko. Ryoko's ship is called Ryo-ohki and in at least one series their both creations of Washy.
I suggested the witchblade because every wielder seems to get drawn into all sorts of supernatural craziness and every wielder I've seen or read of appears to be a hero, reluctant or otherwise. In the comics its modern day host(it does seem similar to the venom symbiote at times) is a cop named Sarah Pezzini and the anime one is Masane Amaha/Yasuko O'Hara. In the comics it is said that Joan of Arc and Cleopatra have been wielders as well. It can only be wielded by the worthy<what makes one worthy, I don't know>, anyone else loses their arm<the witchblade's dormant state{no wielder} is depicted as a gauntlet>.

[BarryTheFlashAllen]

Any chance of seeing The Flash?

[enigmaMystere]

7977633
Well, Washu and Ryoko are on the list, and witchblade is still pending.

[enigmaMystere]

7984726
He was on the list since day one, since he's one of my favorite heroes.

[BarryTheFlashAllen]

7998777 also I am writing a story about The Flash that you may enjoy after the rewrites