- Member Since 5th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 25th, 2022
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Celestia and Luna's royal bard. Nature is my God, Art is my religion, Love is the Law. Concordia Invictus
RoyalBardofCanterlot
Joined 5th Sep, 2014 ·
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RoyalBardofCanterlot · 15k words · 44 5 · 1.1k views
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Well written and engaging, but why on earth would Twilight have problems with her magic?
7912948
This is a sequel to To Touch the Sun
7912986
Ah, thank you! I didn't know this was a sequel.
Road trip!
"The only thing that really worried me was the aether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than an alicorn in the depths of an aether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon." - Canter S. Twinsire
Heh, everyone I've ever met from Saudi Arabia is scrupulously polite. Part of it is just being brought up decently, but at least the ones I've met are all looooooooooaded, or at least the children of the hilariously rich and powerful. It seems to give them a self confidence that borders on egotism, but lends itself to being extremely affable somehow.
Very sweet start. Though perhaps for the sake of clarity you could mark this story as a sequel to To Touch The Sun. I know there's a mechanic to do so within FimFiction's systems.
Celestia loved this moment, she always had. Not quite night, not quite day yet.
I see, so what you're saying is she loves the 'twilight'.
Dang. I'm guessing the thaumurgic engineering includes keeping the pressure cone from blowing out every window they pass? Mustangia sounds neat, I'm looking forward to this.
The way that Mustangia is being described is truly beautiful and I am eager to know how they will spend their vacation there.
7967953 most likly in a tent exploring each others wilderness as spring is heat season
7968805 No wonder Celestia refers them as primal.
That was very beautiful. You could really tell they were making love but also enjoying each other's company. Can't wait to see how things continue as this story is beautiful and I enjoy it's every chapter.
Nice chapter, but you should change the rating of the story to mature or you will probably get in trouble with an admin sooner or later.
That was a gorgeous scene, Madam Bard. But I'm preeety sure you're just a lottle bit over the line into a mature rating, now.
Leave it to Twilight to be keeping count. There's probably a scroll, quill, and inkwell somewhere close at hoof.
ok just read this story and I try to figure how I miss it.
anyway good story keep up the good work
Honestly, I myself wouldn't even call this clop despite the sex. It's more...romantic than anything else, and it definitely fits in with the rest of the universe in which this story takes place.
This is one of my favorite stories. I can't wait for more chapters to come out
I feel something inside me.
8095017 I hope you enjoyed the story. I mean, it's a good feeling right? (I'd seriously like some real feedback on this chapter.)
I liked it.
I'm sure that's all you want to do in those flowers eh Twi
I remember seeing your blog concerned about not getting a lot of comments, sorry I didn't get here early, I've been slacking on keeping up with FiMFiction.
My feedback would be: It was a great chapter! I love Mustangia and the way you described it, I loved the way Twilight and Celestia were together, both intimately and intimately.
I have a little minor feedback on the sexytimes. I think you overused the word "ecstasy" just a bit, I'm not sure what it is but re-using words is really obvious in cloppy bits so I'd say be careful of that. Also some of your sex words were pretty clinical, her "mons pubis," her "labia," where I'd usually expect to see "mound" and "lips" or something more common like that. Your words became less formal after about the second or third sex act and that's the spot you want to aim for, in my opinion anyway.
But yeah, overall I really really enjoyed the chapter just like I have been the fic, and look forward to the next installment!
8134695 Thanks for the feedback! I know I have a problem with repetition. If it's not too much trouble, could you give me some feedback on the chapter after this one? It's not getting much attention and I'm not sure why.
8135191
I have no idea how but I somehow missed the next chapter being available... brain you okay?
Anyway, onward!
First so I don't forget
I think you meant that to be "through an endless abyss" or simply "through endlessness" not some of both.
Also
superfluous "be."
Okay with the formatting stuff out of the way, I thought it was awesome! It was badass and heartwarming in equal measure to see the flames of the past and how heavily they still weigh on Celestia all these years later. And having Celestia then go into Twilight's mind, letting her see that to us all, our own greatest mistakes are greater than anything a loved one could do was simply beautiful.
But yeah, that talk about boundaries is clearly needed
A talk about sharing wouldn't go amiss either, clearly Celestia's subconscious thinks she should be more open with her marefriend, maybe they can talk about doing that without mind-affecting spells
8135608 Thanks for the feedback.
8135647
Sorry it wasn't as constructive as the previous one and basically boiled down to two corrections and "I liked it!" but hey, it's just as important to hear the stuff you're doing right aint it?
She politely asked that part of her brain to shut up for a second.
Yep, that's me in this sort of situation too.
It's alright, I laughed and only feel a little bit bad about it.
This truly seems a really good chapter and I love how the part of the stampede!
Twilight should learn that there is a hermaphrodite spell for procreation!
8224416
Thanks
That was the most beautiful chapter yet
Loved the stampede, and continue to enjoy your world-building of Mustangia!
I honestly didn't notice the run-on sentence but, as someone who is an enormous fan of them myself, I have to applaud when someone uses one in such a way that it's not distracting and, in fact, only adds to the story; especially since it was probably used during the stampede, giving the reader the same feeling of thought and action flowing as one that Twilight felt.
just finished the newest chapter and it is a lovely chapter looking forward to more
Great story. I really enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work and can't wait for more chapters.
Was any of this chapter inspired by "Midnight Run"?
8232278
Not consciously. And Twi didn't see ancestral memories during Midnight Run.
I'd love to see her meet Gran'ma Loki, too. Assuming he's not, er, tied up. Not sure where we are in the Cycle.
And Tia and Twi learn the eternal truth — don't fuck with barleywine. You think it's just beer and suddenly you're under the table.
Such a nice chapter there.
Loving the bard and the little display of the two lovebirds.
Lovely and charming, chapter updates like these make me wish I could like a story more then once.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED!
This looks interesting and fun!
Twilight goes to Asgard as a mortal and descends back to Equestria as a true warrior!
I'm kinda disappointed Odin didn't make some kind of joke, like "Come on Celestia, you forgot the Great in front of Uncle!". For some reason I'm expecting a version of Odin where Equestria and Asgard exist in the same universe to be the All-Father of Dad Jokes.
8232280
You do know MLP is rooted in Greek mythology and not Norse right?
ok good chapter, and dear luna over the last 1000 years everything cost way more
8320878
that or they find out twilight is half god, and her father is one of odin kids form a one night stand in mortal worlds.....
Just to be a grammar nazi:
I am fairly certain an educated mare like Twilight would never write a letter containing the "incorrect" construction;
Rather she would write; "Celestia and I."
The same goes for for Celestia writing;
8232280
Seriously, MLP is rooted in Break mythology, not Norse. And if you're going to use the MCU version of Asgard, you need the Crossover tag
8336251
I don't want this to come across as rude (let me know if it does), but MLP is rooted in pan-Indo-European mythology not Greek specifically. Unicorns, for example, are from Medieval Western Europe. The Sun Goddess is Norse and Celtic (the Greek solar deity was always male.) And as for the horse that pulls the sun, that is also pan-Indo-European.
This statue found in Denmark (the Trundholm Sun Chariot) could be Celestia herself in as much as the archetype of the Sun Horse has filtered down to us today through our ancestral collective unconscious.
scholiast.org/history/denmark/solvogn.jpg
8336316
Yes but all the creatures we've come across are Greek in origin.
Cerberus the 3-headed dog who guards Tartarus, which is both a Greek deity and a place in Hades, the Greek hell/underworld
Minotaurs like Iron Will are Greek
Pegasi are Greek, because the first pegasus (aptly names Pegasus) was a winged horse that some heroes rode in on
Griffins are Greek
Centaurs like Tirek come from Greek mythology as well
Chimeras are Greek as well
I say that MLP is rooted in Greek mythology because there are more Greek mythology references than any other mythologies
can Raven give Celestia a Curfew