The Unicorn Trap

by CinnamonSwirltheBreaded

Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash was having a bad day, the sort of bad day that made you just want to kick it with your hardest, strongest buck, and send it absolutely flying.

First, she had a storm that just got out of hoof, which meant instead of simply pushing the clouds into place, kicking them, and taking a nap, she had to wrestle with the infernal thing for well over an hour, getting drenched and scorched within an inch of her life. That, of course, made her late for Wonderbolts practice, no matter how fast she flew, which meant having her hero yell at her for another thirty minutes.

Of course, for punishment, she had to gather everypony’s sweaty uniforms and take them to get cleaned, which meant that not only did she get to ‘enjoy’ the stale smell of sweat from fifteen hard working pegasi, she was also late getting home.

But she was almost home now; the sun might be setting; she could see the lights in Sugarcube corner turn on, just as she landed in front of the building. If nothing else, Rainbow was certain she deserved a treat.

“Hey Pinks,” Rainbow said as she stepped through the door. Her friend was sitting behind the counter—most ponies having gone home for dinner, rather than eat pastries—fiddling with something in her hooves.

“Hiya Dashie!” Pinkie said in her usually cheerful manner—which unfortunately, Rainbow found somewhat irritating in her current mood. “How’s it going?” Her nostrils flared. “Wow you stink!”

“Ugh,” Rainbow groaned. She had skipped taking a shower after practice, and now she was paying for it. “Never mind that, Pinkie. You got any donuts left?”

“Oh,” Pinkie said sadly. “No, I’m sorry Dashie, we’re all out.”

“What about cookies? Cake? Pie? Anything?” Rainbow asked, as Pinkie continued to shake her head.

“I’m sorry, we’re all sold out of everything!” Pinkie said, smiling somewhat sadly at her friend. “I can get you a cup of coffee, though…”

“Ugh,” Rainbow groaned. “Typical, the way my day’s been!” She bend down and rested her head on the counter, groaning.

“Okay dokey,” Pinkie said, before going back to fiddling with whatever was in her hooves.

It looked like a short, cloth straw, from Rainbow’s perspective. “What is that?”

“This?” Pinkie said cheerfully, “I don’t know! Pinkie sent it to me.”

“Pinkie?”

“Yes?”

“No I mean, what do you mean,” Rainbow said, feeling a bit of a headache coming on. “You’re Pinkie.”

“Yuppers!” Pinkie agreed. “However, this Pinkie is the Pinkie from Twilight’s mirror.”

“Uhhh,” Rainbow stared at her friend for a moment, trying to think. Unfortunately, a lack of food, combined with a long day and longer frustrations, made that somewhat impossible for the pegasus. “Whatever. What is it?”

“Well, she called it a ‘Chinese Finger Trap’,” Pinkie said, laying it down on the countertop, then peering in the hole. “But I’ve tried everything and I haven’t caught a single chinese finger yet!”

“What’s a finger, anyway?” Rainbow wondered out loud, before shaking her head, just as her stomach growled painfully. She should get something to eat, and soon, but as she sat there, half aware of Pinkie tugging on the apparently stretchy straw, she realized she had nothing at home to eat. True, she typically bummed from other ponies, which was why her overall food stores weren’t great, but unless she wanted to eat pickle juice, there was literally nothing at home. “Listen, Pinks, do you think you could make me something to eat?”

“Sure thing Dashie!” Pinkie said, before reaching over the counter and pulling Rainbow into a bone breaking hug. “You let Auntie Pinkie take care of everything! You just look after Mister Finger Trap, okay?”

Before Rainbow could ask about this, Pinkie thrust the Chinese Finger Trap into her hooves and bounced off to the kitchens, leaving Rainbow alone in the empty store front.

As the sounds of pots and pans started clanging in the kitchen, she found herself drawn to the item. It was very weird, and very much unlike anything she had ever seen before. She grabbed one end with her hoof and tugged on the other with her teeth, and was surprised at how weirdly stretchy it was, or how it seemed to really narrow down into a much thinner tube.

Behind her, the bell over the door rang, and Rainbow turned around to see Twilight enter.

“Oh, hello Rainbow! I thought I saw you in here,” Twilight said with a friendly smile. “I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow agree, only to realize at the last second that she had released her hold on the Finger trap. It shot out of her hooves, bounced off the floor, and somersaulted through the air, only to land, tube side down, on Twilight’s horn.

“What the—” Twilight looked up at the finger trap now partly wrapped around her horn with a bit of a frown as her wings flared wide in surprise. Rainbow had to admit, Twilight had some fantastic wings now. “What’s this?” She tried to pull it off with her magic, only for her magic to fizzle, presumably because something was in the way.

“Here, let me get it!” Rainbow jumped into the air and grabbed the end of it with her hooves as she tried to tug it off. To her surprise, it was stuck fast. She landed and tried again, this time with her teeth. “Huh!”

“Ugh, Rainbow!” Twilight groaned, tugging back against Rainbow’s pull. “Nevermind, nevermind!”

Rainbow let go of it and Twilight frowned at her, shaking her head as she poked the cloth tube with her hoof. “I think I’ve seen one of these before, actually, the trick is—” Twilight’s nostrils flared. “Oh goodness, Rainbow! You stink!”

“Hey!” Rainbow protested as her face flushed. It was one thing when Pinkie said it, there was never any judgement from that mare.

“Hey yourself,” Twilight grumbled, turning towards the door. “I’ll be right back and—”

Before Twilight could complete the thought, the door flew open wide, and Rarity stepped through. “Ah, Twilight, there you are! And Rainbow Dash! Fantastic! I—”

Rarity stepped towards Twilight, and her horn came close to Twilight’s; normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but this time the tip of the horn slipped into the other end of the chinese finger trap, cutting the mare off with a certain degree of befuddlement and surprise. “Huh?”

That’s when all three of them discovered why it was a ‘trap’.

Rarity tried to step backwards, away from the cloth tube and Twilight—only to find the tube tightening, and holding her fast, rather than slipping off of her horn. Twilight and Rarity’s eyes grew wide with shock and surprise.

“What?!” Rarity cried, as she tried harder, only unbalancing Twilight slightly. “What!”

“Calm down, Rarity!” Twilight said as she tugged back against the panicking mare. “Just give me a second and—”

Clearly pulling back was the wrong move, since Rarity pulled back too, yonking and gasping with surprise as the trap didn’t come off.

“No no no!” Twilight cried. “This isn’t working!”

Rarity tried to run, only to be hamstrung by her head being directly attached to the much heavier alicorn, and slipping and falling onto her tail with a wail. “Twilight heeeelp!”

“I’m trying Rarity, I’m trying!”

“I’m stuck, Twilight!”

“I know! Stop pulling! Stop pulling you’re making it worse!”

Rarity’s hooves were skidding uselessly against the tiles of Sugarcube Corner’s floors as she vainly struggled. Twilight was struggling too, trying to relieve enough tension in the trap to release herself and Rarity.

Rainbow, on the other hoof, had fallen onto her rump as her eyes grew wide at the scene unfolding before her. Their expressions, their grunts… she had quite a collection of magazines under her bed that her two friends were forcefully reminding her of. Two mares bound together in the most delicate way possible, trying to escape only causing them pain—and maybe a touch of pleasure, given the flustered look on their faces…

Slowly, Rainbow’s wing rose stiffly off her back in the classic pegasi gesture of excitement… of all sorts.

She could feel her face flushing, and as much as she wanted to look away, or help, she couldn’t help but drink it in.

There was a noise right beside her, and Rainbow glanced sidelong at the newly returned Pinkie Pie, bowl of batter in her front hooves as she stirred and gave her a very unamused look.

“Really, Dashie? You had to make it weird, didn’t you?”

Author's Note:

This is there I make some sort of cleaver remark;

chop chop.

Comments

[TheKissoftheVoid]

Awesome. Nice, quick bit of humor. Have a like.

[Violet Rose in The Rain]

Pffft. I had no idea you'd actually make a fic out of this.

[CinnamonSwirltheBreaded]

7908252
You underestimated me!

[kalash93]

Lulz

[ZombieMan]

i.ytimg.com/vi/YuaRcoEqgfs/maxresdefault.jpg

[Monochromatic]

This is amazing.

[The Atlantean]

This is just too much! My laughter is off the charts!

[pahnazd]

And Twilight learned a valuable lesson - all the knowledge in the world is useless when, if you need to do something, one or more from the necessary party is panicking.
And indeed, Dashie just had to make it weird, huh?

[chillum]

Nice quick story, deserves a like

[Willmar]

66.media.tumblr.com/87eb5c3b5b26ccb6248a6b78aa7c35df/tumblr_nwu6ryYquT1rms5soo1_1280.gif

This was amazing, Cinna. I always get a kick out of your flash fic ideas.

[PonyDragon]

That’s when all three of them discovered why it was a ‘trap’.

I would add an certain Admiral here, but that would be too cliche.
So I won't do it.

[NotanImportantPony]

Is that the Equestrian Pinkie or is it the EQG Pinkie, we may never know.

[CinnamonSwirltheBreaded]

7912615
It was a Pinkie, and that was enough. Some would say too much.

[Alondro]

Rarity! Twilight! Just pour as much magic as you can into the trap!

Let the power fill you! Let it seep into your thighs and penetrate your body!

Yes! Let it build up! Then RELEASE!!!

[jjrock7H]

7912857 DOCTOR OCTO-MOTHER-FUCKING-GONAPUS! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Aprion]

“Really, Dashie? You had to make it weird, didn’t you?”

I lost it

[HiddenMaster]

Quite amusing. I enjoyed Rainbow's point of view in this, and it's what really made the story amusing, in my opinion at least.

[Alondro]

7913425 Come my Twilight, you have much to learn! -Molestia

[LucarioFan2066]

Dunno why this was in the right sidebar on the main page, and not in the 'Featured' box.
This is seriously good.

As Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door would say (if the Stars weren't gemstones), You got a Golden Star!

[WorldWalker128]

“What’s a finger, anyway?” Rainbow wondered out loud, before shaking her head, just as her stomach growled painfully.

Rainbow Dash has forgotten about the Minotaur race.

[WorldWalker128]

The subject matter needs to happen in-show.

[Lancerlot]

An imaginary moment:
Shortly thereafter, Shining armor requested a large order of said, "Chinese Finger Traps" for use in law enforcement.

[Comrade Bagel Muffin]

Alrighty so where to begin with this.

First the good. I loved the story cute short and above all flowing like a stream. It never felt like it was dragging on and everything was smooth. The characters were great you managed to get the PINK ONE just weird and omnipresent, which isn't an easy task given she is the PINK ONE. I liked Rainbow Dash's character as well.

Cons: While everyone else was at least in character Rarity was not and that standing in glaring contrast to the others really stands out. Also one spelling mistake. That's it.

“Ugh,” Rainbow groaned. “Typical, the way my day’s been!” She bend down and rested her head on the counter, groaning.

Bend down should be Bent down.