Will Ye No Come Back Again?

by Judge Holden

Filly on the Hill

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button."
-Sam Levenson

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Okay, look God. Very funny. You got me. I didn't know you were into pranks, but now I really need to figure out everything, or at least go back to planet Earth. So, uhh, could you work with me here? Oh, yeah! Amen.

I told myself I wouldn't faint if I got up and saw weird horse me again. I would chalk it up to a weird dream, or hallucination, or hell. Or all of the above.

Sure enough, I opened my eyes and was greeted by horse me again.This time, however, I noticed something else- my tail was blue.
So was my mane. I felt lightheaded again, but I wasn't letting myself faint once more. I tried to tough it out, and got to my feet.
Then I fell back down again. I let out a snort, and as was my wont, tried again.
I fell down again. My legs didn't feel weak. It just felt awkward trying to stand on four legs.

"Come on, how hard can this-"

I slapped a hand over my mouth. Well, hoof. First of all, near as I could tell I was still speaking English. Second of all, my voice sounded very, very different. First of all, it sounded really youthful. Second of all, it sounded feminine. In a panic, I rolled to my side and looked between my back legs, hoping that I just had laryngitis or something.
No such luck.
Hey, you remember how I said I wasn't going to let myself faint again?
Yeah, about that...

When I finally came to again, the sun had gone down and the moon was out. This time, I didn't even bother trying to stand again.

What did I do wrong? I wasn't a saint, sure, but I went out trying to protect my team. Or I went out because I got angry, threw caution to the wind, and got myself killed.
Wait, was this about me and my prayer to God? Is it Allah? Amaterasu? Zeus? To whom am I speaking?
Look, whoever it is, can you please do me a favor and not let this be true?
Sure, I'll hold.

I didn't move for the rest of the night, but my heart pounded as though I'd run a marathon. I'd long noticed the horn between my eyes. What happened to me? I even saw pale spots in my fur that coincided with everywhere I'd been shot.

I saw the sun do its waltz across a good portion of the sky before I even dared to try standing again. By then, my stomach was grumbling violently and I was very thirsty.

Hesitantly, I got to my feet again, and again I felt my legs try to buckle. This time, however, I remained silent. I didn't want to hear my voice again.

It took me several hours just to figure out how to stand without falling. Taking a few steps? That was another animal entirely.
I sighed. Evolution moved faster than I could at this point. Part of me wanted to resign myself to fate.
Then I heard a howl, and a branch crack, and I was suddenly very interested in learning to run.
It concerned me, though. First of all, my version of running was sort of like Chaplin, minus the canal and rich guy.

Additionally, I wasn't the type to run from anything at home. It meant more than a few beatings for me if I bit off more than I could chew. So, what changed? I felt skittish, like a...
I looked down at my hooves.
Right, like a horse.
I heard another howl and looking back was all it took for me to trip over myself, and roll down a hill.

I landed in a river with a splash, and instantly cold seeped into my very brain. Instincts and strong desires to survive flooded my emotions and mind, and my head burst from the surface.
For a second.

My fight or flight was enough to help me run from the totally real terrifying monsters that were going to try and eat me soon as they found me.
Swimming was like rocket science though. How the hell do you use this thing?

Just getting to the surface for a moment was difficult. This damned body wasn't mine and I certainly wasn't a fish. I could hardly swim even back home!

A current caught hold of me and started dragging me wherever it wanted to drag me. I held my breath, and in a flash found myself at the bottom of the river being drug along rocks.
I was being tossed around like liquid cement and about resigned myself to my fate. Again.

Then I ended up being tossed ashore like unwanted trash. I started gulping down air, and I looked all around me. What just happened?

Before I could ponder further, I heard something crush some leaves behind me. Instantly I was standing once more and shaking with cold and fear. It took whatever courage that was not sapped to turn to see who or what was behind me.

To be fair, having just been forced to learn to run again, narrowly escaped drowning, and currently freezing to death left my nerves pretty frayed. It could have been a small bunny rabbit and I probably would have ran off.
I know what you're thinking, and no, it was not a small bunny rabbit.

It was a raccoon. Mock if you must, but those little buggers carry disease like crazy. I'm pretty sure I knew a guy that got rabies from them and cured himself by bathing in petroleum jelly. Or did he ingest petroleum jelly and cure it with rabies?

I digress. The point is, I was fully expecting anything from another Panzer to some kind of mythical creature about to pounce on me- it was no longer outside the realm of possibility, considering I now was one. But I definitely didn't shriek. You know, too much.

Okay, I shrieked a lot. If I remember right I ran on water and took down a few trees in my panic, and I didn't stop running until I was finally out of that godforsaken forest.

Soon as I felt like I was free of it, though, I dropped like a sack of potatoes. It was like I had a free trial on how to run and if I wanted to continue I needed to pay $1.99 plus shipping and handling. It's why I never bought into Little Orphan Annie's spy game gimmick.
Ahem.

Fortunately, I'd broken free of the forest. The bad news was, now I had to combat what I assumed were miles of friggin' hills, all with no clue on how to move properly. Apparently my new body only felt like being useful if it were being threatened. Once those instincts left me, though?
Dead weight. And it sucked, because I was hungry and thirsty! I should have tried to drink from the river or something.
Again, I struggled to my feet, and tried to take a wobbly step forward.

How embarrassing would this be if I got myself killed in the body of a female horse because I couldn't figure out how to walk? I'm the guy that tried to go toe to toe with a Panzer! Granted, I lost, but it's the principle of the thing.

"Hello?" I called out to the fields, wincing again at my new voice. There was no reply.

Part of me wanted some sort of monster to appear and scare my stupid body into running again. I'd just now grasped the basics of walking, and even that was a chore for me.
Funny, I used to never really have a problem being alone. Now, though? I wanted someone, anyone to come and save me.
With all of my rationale forbidding it, then, but current events willing it, I fell to the dirt again, and sobbed.

---

End of Chapter

Comments

[Luwden]

Seems Decent enough.

I await the next update

[ShadowGear]

I actually have a few problems with Sam Stone's death. First off any tank crewman with experience will never have their heads sticking out when there are infantry shooting at them. It may have been better if the Panzer's assistant driver was the one who shot Sam Stone. Second of all, at this point in the war the Tigers and Panthers hadn't been used against the Americans. The American's first battles against Tigers and Panthers took place after D-day. I find it extremely unlikely that a Panzer model made before the Tiger and Panther models would fight a group of soldiers by itself. Usually the older Panzers fought in groups so I would have expected to see at least ten Panzers.

Other than that I think the story is great and has a lot of potential. I would love to see what happens.

[Silent Echo]

7885774 maby its was a panzer 3

[Judge Holden]

7885769 Donny Donowitz. Think Quentin Tarantino

[Judge Holden]

7885774 Thank you for the feedback. My knowledge of the North African Campaign is lacking. I will keep this critique in mind for future chapters.

[Charedfirescale]

So Sam Stone is now an unicorn filly. Poor bastard, I feel sorry for him when Rarity gets a hold of him/her.

[Judge Holden]

7887236 I know. I couldn't resist a reference to Two and a Half men, though.