• Published 16th Jan 2017
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The Wacky and Wonderful Misadventures of Buggy the Clown - Hoppa_21



A Displaced Buggy breaks free from his prison and is out for treasure!

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Coughing Gold ...Yeah, that happened

Alright, just to get this straight. There is a bug in the treasury. A bug that somehow looks also like a pony. Anthromorphobic speaking of course, considering the equines here have not really much in common with the ones back home.

It seemed masculine, from what I could tell. It’s not like I was an expert when it comes to this freak show I found myself in. Not to mention that a bug fruit was new news for me. Not that it mattered.

Interestingly enough it wore some rather fancy-looking clothes. Maybe an indication for an event? Ah, yeah. Wasn’t there something big planned? Something that Bluebrat whined about?

Huh, and now the bug trudged nervously inside the chamber with an embroidered small blue chest.

And along it walked a small open path beside all the mountains of finest gold. But there was no interest in the treasures here, which was curious enough.

He went a few steps further, sparring my statue a glance and…shuddering, while sticking his tongue out in disgust?!

“I really don’t understand ponies view on art,” the bug muttered loud enough for me to hear.

And I mean just what the fuck?! Seriously, what was this guy thinking he was doing by insulting the great Captain Buggy!

Argh, who am I kidding! Probably no one even remembers my name anymore! All thanks to these stupid Royal Butts! I mean, they always treated me like some unimportant background character! Never took me for full when I was right in front of them, outright belittling me like some boy that was caught with his hand in the cookie jar and not like some fearful awe-inspiring pirate! But that of course changed as soon as I wasn’t completely helpless before them. Then they would hunt me down.

They, or at least Celestia, would also do the same then I slipped on a cake. She was furious back then! God, these mares seriously need to relax some more. Especially Diabetes Queen Cake Butt! I probably saved her fat rump from gaining some pounds!

Heh. That’s a good one.

Oh well, at least considering that here are no cakes to slip on, fall into, or to destroy in any kind or way. I also doubt they told the afterworld about my own greatness!

Hm, seems like the bug was muttering something. And I heard a very special word in it!

“-Celestia’s most precious treasure. Can this really work?”

My treasure senses are tingling!

I knew all the nervous talk had some meaning to it! I was in the treasure business for quite some time after all. And this bug here definitely was acting rather suspicious from the beginning.

Now the bug seemed to fill the content of the small chest into a brown sack. Huh, would make sense to try and make it seem less valuable. I also got a glimpse on Celestia’s ‘Most Precious Treasure’. Interestingly enough it were a crown and some necklaces. I never thought that she would be into such tacky looking trinkets. But then again she was always wearing this massive gold necklace around her neck. So what did I expect?

It always made me wonder what exactly she tried to compensate for. I mean, if she was a stallion I would know. Maybe it’s because all the cake is landing in her rump and not in her rather average cup size. Heh. That’s actually a rather funny thought.

Anyway, after the bug suddenly buried the brown sack under a bit of coins he seemed his job done and smiled at his work, sure that no one will find Celestia’s treasure.

One wouldn’t believe the shit-eating grin I had as the bug left in a chipper mood. I couldn’t help it seeing how I could now easily get my hands on these trinkets as revenge for the Royal Butts that were always gloating towards my prone form. This is definitely a glorious day!

All I have to do is wait and occasionally push against the barrier of gold and then the treasure will be mine! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAA!


Time ticked by. Tick, tock. And all I could really do was stare at the sack of these oh so mysterious treasure trinkets the bug was hiding among the coins and gems. The bit of brown that poked out was enough to make my senses continuously tingle as I tried to push against my prison to finally get to it.

Of course even after an eternity of trying the gold was unrelenting.

*Sigh* And here I thought I might actually make it.

Was I really damned to an existence in gold for all eternity?

At least that’s what I thought before suddenly a huge shockwave erupted. A shockwave of magic I assume that washed right over me and ripped over my very being. Immediately a warm feeling filled my heart as I instantly fell back into nostalgia of better treasure-filled times. But before I could indulge said nostalgia I could feel a difference in my prison.

A crack.

A crack that was widening and traveling along my body.

The walls were weakening!

Now with all the incentive of a starving lion craving for a nice steak I pushed. Damn, could I use some steak right now. But first things first.

Come on! Heave-ho!

And then suddenly I could feel my fingers twitch.

That’s right! Move! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I bellowed out in confidence as my joints cracked with the now newly found movement as my arm swung around, scattering gold debris everywhere.

My other arm quickly followed, before I stomped out with my two legs and stepped down from my little pedestal.

As soon as I was completely free from my gruesome prison I moved and spat the gold out of my mouth. And yes, no matter how much I love gold and jewels, a thin layer of it in your mouth is not something you would wish on your worst enemy.

…Actually I would, but then again I don’t necessary qualify as a ‘nice guy’.

Anyway I can’t recommend to get stoned or turned to gold with your mouth open. I was gagging as gold was even running down my esophagus.

However, gold was not the only things that I hurled up as something was stuck at the back of my throat. My gagging intensified as I coughed out a…book?

Seriously, she forgot to take that out?

Yes, the Princesses, especially Loony thought it to be funny to actually use my open mouth as a storing space for her stuff. Not only her diary, or her snacks like moon pies (Cake Butt would at least eat them before she got around to it otherwise as she whined that to me one day), but even her pet spiders! And yes they were making cobwebs in my mouth!

And now you probably understand why they would deserve something that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Their cruelty plays in a completely different league.

“I need a drink,” were my first words after I rubbed my neck while still gagging slightly. Too bad I won’t find anything to drink down here. But then again I first have to gather some treasure while I was here!

I all too eagerly looked around, setting my hand on my chin in a thinking pose.

Of course despite my antics it wasn’t hard for me to make my choice in what I would take me. Let’s say if Cakebutt feels really THAT strongly about the little tacky trinkets then that’s what I would take. I took another sack of gold that was in the chamber additionally. This one being big enough that it covered my complete back as I swung it over my shoulder. I even stored the smaller sack in it so as to have a free hand. Just in case I might need one.

“Huff. Quite the weight. At least I’m still in the same physical condition I was frozen in. Would be a pain in the ass if I had to do some training, then again I still would probably need it. Damn alicorns and their self-generating super strength muscles,” I murmured the last part a bit annoyed. Sadly alicorns were even stronger than me if they didn’t do jack shit. Rather unfair, but then again it at least doesn’t stop Cake Butt from gaining weight, albeit it needs more cake to achieve that than a normal mare.

But it didn’t matter as I trudged along the entrance of this chamber and went along the halls going upstairs. I sneaked along, luckily not encountering any guards, confusing me a bit, but I certainly won’t be complaining!

Soon enough I seemed to get back into the main parts of the castle as was indicated by the red carpet and the long and high halls that I was presented with.

I quickly walked down the corridor and around a corner. There was the door to the outside! I’m so close to my escape-

“There you are!”

And then my world turned pink.

Author's Note:

Second promised chapter. Just looked it over. Also one exam was pretty easy. It were only five questions, and pretty easy ones at that! So it was a great day.

As a side note, I'm wondering about this 9 to 6 like-dislike ratio. These chapters are on par with my Fenrich story in my opinion, so no clue why the story gets that rating. Meh. I will still continue. The idea for a Buggy Displaced is not bad after all. Not to mention the replacements I have for Shanks, Whitebeard, the King of Pirates and the Strawhat Pirates. For all who want to know, the Whitebeard replacement will be met rather early in the story. And let's say to his replacement: I regret nothing. :rainbowwild: