All bubble-blowing fillies will be beaten senseless by every able bodied pony in the bar (bar).
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For more than a thousand years, Equestria has blossomed into its beautiful, peaceful state... but when Princess Celestia tells Twilight the order she must carry out with the help of the other alicorn princesses, she is heartbroken. What she is about to do will shatter all that she thinks she is.
Note: this story takes place after season four and before season five. There will be no mention of Flurry Heart. She does not exist.
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Interesting, but there isn't a whole lot here. I'll put this on my tracking for now and wait for more before commenting further.
Typo/suggestion
For a while
Because: awhile = for a while
so "for awhile" is like: "for for a while"
I think it should be/would sound better: "one's ... other's" or "one ... other"
7850877 Both noted and soon put into the fic. Thanks!
Normally I can't stand reading short chapters but this story made it work. I can't wait to see more.
7853017 I'll be sure to try and work on it some more then. Glad you enjoyed!
Twilight, noooo! Celestia's plans are always awful!
7868289
Oh.
Don't worry; the next chapter is coming tomorrow for sure. I already have it almost all typed.
7868456 so this is only going to be three chapters?
7868903
Plus an epilogue, yes. Now, if someone wants to write a prequel, a sequel, or otherwise, I won't stop them, but this should all be wrapped up in one more chapter. You'll see. I'll do my best to bring it all to a close.
So, equestria is flying through space? cool!
I almost cried reading this XD
7869245
Is that good?
I do my best to make the reader feel emotional.
Starship equrestria is now ago.
'Ship what ship? It's a planet sir. They can't land here. May the wilds protect us.'
Meh.
Let's see. Seemed like a ok read. The hero sacrifice by doing 'evil to rid others of a bigger evil'
Nothing id write home about, but would give it a nod.
3/5
7870591
7870619
7870742
Can you please refrain from commenting on all chapters? The first couple times on my other fic were a little funny, but now it's honestly more annoying than anything.
Much like a phoenix rising from it's ashes, a new equestria will rise from what was left. I cant imagine the pain those four will have to suffer being immortal, but their memories they make will last.
I wont lie.. The end of this.. Made me feel cold. But at the same time a bit hopeful for what may lie ahead.
I'm glad I came across this..
Holy shit this is depressing
8036516
Yeah, not exactly my happiest piece.
Thanks for the follow and the like!
8036536 no problem. its Depressing, but it is a really good story
Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8148026
Just that it gets, well, dark. I don't want to spoil anything, but death is mentioned and burial is implied.
I hope you won't change your mind about reading it.
This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort".
Name of Story: More Than Immortal
Total Score out of 10: 8
Pros: Just as the last story of yours that I had reviewed, there are no detectable errors to be found. A nice read, and a very interesting concept.
Cons: Twilight's sudden determination to exterminate all life on the planet was quite unlike her. She seems to be the last to give up like that, but I suppose one could partially blame her being a teacher's pet for that. I also found that the story was also quite short-lived for its premise... I feel like there was so much more potential here. Moreso the time skip seemed too short to justify all the change that happened in it. Unless you meant to write five hundred years or five thousand even, I cannot see it being feasible that they re-populated Equestria that quickly between the four of them.
Notes: The story is rock-solid in the spelling/grammar department, but unfortunately the plot leaves much to be desired. The story started strong but then lost steam quickly and then stopped suddenly. Because I grade half and half on spelling/grammar and plot I cannot bring myself to give this a higher score, but this is still a good fic considering it all.
8157715
Really interesting review right here....
I'll edit the "50" into "500" right away, but I can't say the same for the rest of it. The final chapter was really just an idea after I was finishing the third one, a way to set up a sequel, if you will. On the other hand, this also leaves room for prequels.
Writing the scene where Twilight agrees was one of the hardest scenes I've had to write. No matter what I thought of, I couldn't figure out a way around the "sacrifice yourselves or watch the world burn" cliche. But! If you have any ideas, I'm all ears.
8157907
Ah. I see. Regardless, I still stand by my review. If what you say is true, then yes; this story works well as a setup for other stories. Standing on its own however it is still very weak when it could have been much more. Sorta like Thor: The Dark World. Nothing spectacular, but excellent material to branch off of.
As for Twilight; I know how hard something like that is to write. Tried to write something similar in my story with similar results. But hey; "A for Effort" on that.
Good effort.
...I am not sure about this chapter or this story. It is well written I mean but...
Restarting life by ending the current one for the Greater Good? Because some prophecy from a long time ago? A time where 'Good/right' and 'Evil/wrong' may be far different than this Twilight's current present?
I don't know about you but how is this plan not seen as completing the End of Days thing the Princess are trying to prevent?
9908237
I probably wouldn't write something with a flimsy plot like this today. This was written years ago, and it was written pretty much on a whim, as were some of my other older stories.
But, if you want a serious answer, the logic is supposed to be that the end of days by the hands of evil would leave no chance of a reset. At the very least, not a good reset.
I hope you'll finish reading. If nothing else, then only the final chapter, just to see how it ends. I still like the way I ended the story, even if it was written poorly because it was written by a younger me.
9908270
While I don't like or agree with the logic for the reset plan thing, I do like the story.
9908923
I'm glad. If you like Romance, you might enjoy some of my other stories, too. Again, apologies for the poor plot in this one.
10042423
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
What about Discord. Did he die in this to.
10336039
The implications lead to yes, most likely. Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed!
I feel like this would do well with a sequel. She's basically Celestia now and with both rebirths having happened as well as the MANE 6's rebirths, there is a lot of room for growth.
11405618
Thanks for the kind words!
I have considered a sequel. I have not published any stories in quite some time, but in the future I may be willing to write a sequel to this. I already have a vague idea in mind for what I would want from it.